i tried to be the good guy.

so i’ve been watching the show since the beginning, and writing clarke on and off for a few years, and over all these years i really connected with her, i was comfortable with her from the get go in a way that doesn’t always feel natural, but not only did i connect with her for writing purposes, but personally, she was a character i didn’t even realize how important she was to me for awhile, she was a character i not only related to, but one that helped me accept myself, that made me feel like it was okay to just be me

this entire season has felt different, i just kept watching her become less and less like the girl i knew, the girl i grew up with, the girl that was important to me, i’ve felt that the writing was prioritizing plots and quite frankly views for a few years now, but this felt different, this just felt like they were using her, like she’s just a means to an end now

it just feels like they gave up on her, and because of that it’s been hard to find her voice, which is why i mainly stuck to modern here, it was easier and modern clarke feels like mine, she’s the one i put years of thoughts and headcanon into, the one that couldn’t be impacted by views or shock value, she just was who she was, and i still love her

i’ve always been someone who liked being canon compliant though, not just in this fandom but all of them, and i hate that i lost so much of her that doing so just feels off to me, but i really can’t relate to anything this season, the writing has just given me a completely different atmosphere than the show i fell in love with initially, the one where there was still hope, the one that had a purpose, and with a single episode left, it feels pretty clear i’m not going to get that back

this isn’t like a goodbye, i don’t think, but more of a simple i don’t know, i’ve loved clarke for years and it feels like such a waste to let the writing take that away from me, and maybe i’ll be more at ease once it’s all over and i’m not being dragged in different directions, i truly hope so, but i just needed to let that out i guess, a form of closure maybe, i still do want to be here, but i guess i never really got to speak about this, about how much she means to me and what this season has been making me feel

plus, the phrase has also been used as ‘float you’ which pretty much debunks the kill vs fuck debate, it’s just a curse that the writers love to throw in for their ( mainly ) skaikru characters as a callback to the old days

it  takes  her  a  minute,   for  his  words  to  sink  in,   most  likely  due  to  to  what  is  most  definitely  going  to  be  a  mark  right  above  her  collarbone.    she  doesn’t  particularly  mind,   but  at  least  she  had  the  forethought  to  leave  hers  in  a  more  convenient  location,   the  fading  bruise  hidden  from  sight.   well,   mostly.    but  then  his  words  do  sink  in,   her  brain  wrapping  around  the  intention,   and  the  distraction  of  his  mouth  against  her  skin  is  diverted  slightly.    her  fingers  curl  a  little  firmer  in  his  hair,   pulls  him  back  up  to  her  so  she  can  kiss  him  fully,   firm  and  sure  and  deep.