Let’s clear up a few more Misconceptions…
I am excited how this post got viral and I think it is because we have touched on a need to clarify a few things. So let’s move on …
In the first part, we busted a few myths that are popular amongst those who have an issue with their own sexuality and expression of sexuality in general. The follwing are a few misconceptions around the mental state of individuals that (have to) deal with sexual matters.
If you come across other examples, please share them with me via submission or ask and I will see if and how I can add my two cents to them…
5. posting nude selfies does not mean you are mentally instable or a narcissist
It‘s probably one of the most heard myths on or about a site like tumblr, “she/he is so full of insecurities that she/he needs to post her nudies to boost her/his ego“. The truth is, of course nobody who posts personal pics wants to hear anything negative - but you know what, nobody wants to hear that at home, at the office, or at the groceries, either. Clearly, it boosts our ego when somebody tells us we are beautiful, good looking, or sexy! But is that narcissistic? Of course not! If you think posting a nude selfie is narcissistic, read up on narcissism or watch the behavior of certain politicians… There is a myriad of reasons why people post nudes of themselves and almost all of then are very good reasons that help the individual to grow personally! Somebody who posts nudes usually has a much better view of their own body, they work with their body before they choose a picture, and they learn to enjoy their body - nothing wrong with that at all! I strongly believe that it is a much greater achievement of personal growth to take the step and post personal nudes than it is to shake your head in disapproval and keep your nudity for yourself!
6. watching sexual intercourse does not immediately skew your kids mental setup
Sexual intercourse in itself is a naturally and implicitely positive activity as it is the necessary precursor to the creation of new life. And yet, it is seen as something dirty, offensive, disgraceful, and potentially dangerous - and so it’s been banned behind closed doors and dark rooms. I’m not going to discuss why that is, but if you consider that there are rural tribal cultures that celebrate a marriage by the couple having sex under the approving eyes of the community, you might start to think that it’s not necessarily as bad and negative as some people try to tell you after all. It only becomes a bad thing if we label it so and teach our kids it‘s a taboo to even talk about it! The problem for kids is not the sexual intercourse, it’s the lack of attention that a lot of parents and teachers put into a proper sexual education of kids!
Now, I am not saying kids must see sexual intercourse or a nude body to grow to healthy adults! Neither am I saying kids have to see The Walking Dead or watch a head blown up in a movie! But in either case, they will not take harm by what they see, they take harm or grow by what they hear and see in our reactions and the societies. Covering up a bare breast, crying „oh my gosh“ and covering their eyes when a sex scene shows on TV, but letting them watch TWD or play Counter Shrike and cheer when the bad guys get blown up, will give them a clear message: sex is yucky, but blowing up people’s heads is fun and totally ok! - Now guess how they will choose to interact as adults…?
There is absolutely no scientific proof that a child would take any harm when they see an example of sexual lovemaking, or walk into their parents bedroom and “catch’em” in the act! It’s not the act that determines the impact on a child’s soul, it’s our reaction and dealing with it that makes all the difference! If we can make sex a normal part of life, something that can and does take place btw two or more consenting adults just like having dinner, kids will grow into sexually liberted and openminded adults! And if we further teach them that it’s not ok to blow up other people’s heads, they might actually turn into smart, respectful, and peaceful adults on top of that!
7. abusive behavior is NOT ok - never!
Now, this is something that targets a small splinter group of tumblrs that feel the quest for freedom in sexual expression should include their desire to abuse and humiliate other human beings. Well, here’s news for you: it is not! Period! There’s actually no difference of sexually oriented human interaction to any other form of human interaction, a healthy and mentally stable individual will naturally seek cooperation and mutual gain. This does not mean a healthy competition wouldn’t be ok, it actually is as it drives individuals to grow and exceed their capabilities. Only those who do not have the personal ability for growth and excellence will resign to degrading or even humiliating others! It’s an behavior that is symptomatic for highly insecure and self-doubting individuals and it is a behavior that can and should never be tolerated by bystanders, whether that‘s in public or on tumblr!
8. Child Pornography is an abhorrent felony!
See, there‘s actually a few things @staff has said in their post about the policy change that I wholeheartedly agree to - and so will every mentally healthy individual, may they be on or off of tumblr! The abuse of minors in whatever form is abhorrent and must not be tolerated by anyone! While the addressees for this point form an even smaller group than those for the previous point, I‘m afraid there will be some reading this who either have already been engaged in abusive behaviour of minors or are having fantasies about it. If you are amongst the former and you are reading this, do yourself a favor and report yourself to the authorities, for what you have to expect from them is a walk in the park compared to what you will get from people like me when we find you! However, if you identify as one of the latter and have “only some fantasies” that involve little boys and girls, if you find yourself enjoying posts of underage pornography on tumblr or elsewhere, but you haven‘t enacted on them, you are one of the lucky hopefuls, for you can be helped becorenit’s too late! Do not wait and seek professional support before your demons let you do something you will regret a lifetime!
9. A Community like tumblr can spot and eliminate inacceptable content
In many posts following the infamous Dec 17 announcement, people found that one of the reasons for tumblr to take action is their failure to effectively spot and eliminate child porn or other illegal and disgraceful content. I don‘t know if that‘s the true reason for tumblr or not, but clearly it‘s an incorrect assessment to make! The problem is, that with all advances in artificial intelligence, it‘s still very difficult to reliably spot content from images - just look at what the tumblr algorithms mark as explicit these days and/or what they don‘t. So clearly, spotting child porn through algorithms alone is a tidious and obviously not very relying task! Hiring armies of employees is too costly and at some point the only conclusion seems to be, let‘s just block all “adult content“ so we will definitely get rid of the smut we need to get rid of. Fair enough, but very narrow sighted for a platform like tumblr that has an army of supporters at hand for free! The vast majority of “adult bloggers” is honest, truthful, legit, and interested to keep the site a safe and clean environment to exchange with likeminded people. This community of healthy adults would be the most powerful weapon to fight child pornography and smut on tumblr! With a little bit of careful thinking, it should be fairly easy to establish a solid base of trusted users who can act as the guardians over the “adult content” and to be the first line of sefense against predators and sickasses that post child porn…
What other myths about sexuality and/or society’s ways of dealing with it do you want to be looked at? My inbox is open…! 💋
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