Comics I Read

Plot: Max finds himself helping a group of woman trying to escape a mad man.

Review: As always with a movie that is beyond great, I won’t put much into this script because I want you to go into it.  I will say that Mad Max is one of the best films and maybe the best action films of the last few years.  A film like Mad Max makes you kind of hate the Avengers or all the cookie cutter paint by number films that have become the norm.  There’s a weight to the film that you can’t get from cgi.  It manages to be progressive just by existing, instead of trying to point out how progressive it is.  It just feels refreshing and like something different.  

To me this is how blockbusters should be.  It takes you to a new world, gives you a great story with different characters that you actually like because of the events of the movie, not because you recognize them.  It feels like the budget and grandness of it was to service the story and give you a bigger world, not just to set up the next movie.  There is no room for winks or nods on the fury road. 

It sounds like this is attacking the Marvel movies more than praising Max and that’s because of two reasons.  One a movie like Max is so good that it makes you realize how bad everything else has been lately, it’s an eye opener, and two I don’t want to give too much away about Max because if I spoiled anything for you, I would feel bad you didn’t get to see it firsthand.  

A movie like Mad Max is something that is becoming rarer and rarer, it’s a movie that feels important, a summer blockbuster that actually has heart and a love behind it. It’s how every summer blockbuster should be but like Max himself, it’s one of a kind.  

Plot: A man gets a suit that makes him the size of an ant.

Review: Ant Man wasn’t offensive or anything but man it was bland.  It felt like Marvel took out their outline for the films and then filmed this one before they filled in the blanks.  Even the charming Paul Rudd is turned into a boring every man with no bad qualities.  Like he just got out of prison but his crime was robbing from the rich and giving to the poor so he doesn’t even need a redemption arc? Cause he’s already a hero?  He has no bite.  

Also this is the first time that Mexicans have had any part in a Marvel film and they decided to go SUPER RACIST with it.  I mean every Mexican in the film is a criminal, a day laborer or a day laborer that is also a criminal.  And they kept calling back to it like it was a hilarious joke?  It was just offensive especially with the amount of children watching this film.  I think that Hollywood is at the point where they are finally putting Mexicans in films but still giving us stereotypical roles as if we should be happy about it?  Sorry but that spoils everything else. 

Plot: A ghost haunts the most boring people in the world.

Review: This movie is super boring and everyone does boring things in it. Also it wasn’t really about the board, it was just a generic ghost story.  Olivia Cooke, stop making these terrible movies!   

Plot: Annoying assholes get stuck underground.

Review: Have you ever gotten lost in the woods?  And for a bit everyone just yells and it’s super annoying and you hate it?  Well what if there was a movie that did that for two hours? And then they also shake the cameras at your face!?!  Well here you are.  A terrible movie that does nothing interesting.  

You smell like hawk and dove???

Plot: Ted decides to adopt a child and then has to fight for this rights.

Review: Ted 2 is pretty much what you think it is.  It’s really funny and kind of feels like more of a family guy episode than the first one. It kind of feels like stuff left on the cutting room floor from the first one. But as far as summer comedies go, it’s pretty good. 

Plot: A group of teens find themselves in a futuristic maze.

Review: Maze Runner is never good, but it is very watchable.  You find yourself enraptured by the world building and the mystery that you kind of forget that there are no real characters or compelling story.  It’s just a “race” to the finish.  Better than some teen pics but not great.   

Plot: The park is open as a new dinosaur escapes.

Review: Jurassic World is just the worst kind of movie.  Nothing feels original or like a risk.  The whole thing just seems like a focus group decided everything.  Everyone loves raptors? Make them the good guys!  People love Chris Pratt?? Put him as the star!  Let’s make a t-rex/raptor hybrid! Everyone will love it.  It just doesn’t take any chances and to make matters worse the story is just kind of dull and boring.  The Dinosaurs are just there but with none of the awe or spectacle of the original.  

Even worse, every character is written so dumb that it’s hard to even watch. They do dumb things every single time. No one acts like how a human would act ever.  Like a scene where two kids are running from raptor rex, they stop to look at the things in the old visitor center of the original.  The problem is they don’t act scared in anyway.  The scene is there so we could see things from Jurassic Park and be happy we’re getting a call back but there would be no reason for them to care.  They don’t really know about it and it’s just there for us. Which is okay if they WERENT BE CHASED BY A DINOSAUR!   

So basically everything about Jurassic World is bad and the movie relies on the nostalgia and love of the original to keep people interested.  Which just isn’t enough. 

Plot: Terminators are sent through time to try and stop Sarah Connor.

Review: Terminator Genisys just kind of exists.  It’s not as offensive as Jurassic World but that would probably make it more memorable. As it is, it’s just kind of a thing that is happening for no better and only worse.  It has no personality and other than Arnold, the acting is horrible.  

There is just nothing really to say about it.  It’s not really worth watching and the best thing I can say about it is that it didn’t make me mad. 

Plot: A photographer takes an odd job from a creepy guy.

Review: Creep is a movie that will stay with you but it’s not that good.  It’s basically a good version of Tusk but it’s still a version of Tusk. It has a lot of good scares, a pretty good stories and a great performance from Mark Duplass. The problem is that it’s not that memorable because it just kind of happens. I do like that they kind of mess with the found footage format but it’s not really a format that need to be reviewed as much as go away.  

I would say watch it but don’t expect too much.   

Plot: A documentary following vampires in New Zealand.

Review: What we do in the shadows is the perfect example of a cult movie.  It’s not quite big or funny enough to be mainstream and it really relies on paying attention to what’s going on to be in on the joke.  It doesn’t go for the cheap laugh and that puts it in a unique position for comedy.  But what it is is a fun concept and a really funny movie if you can get behind it.  The performances are all great and it doesn’t shy away from the murders, which is part of the fun.  

What we do in the shadows is kind of what I wish movies were more often.  It was great. 

Plot: SPOILERS A man goes to a remote cabin in the woods to see if a robot can pass as a real person.

Review: Two reviews in a week where I don’t want to spoil anything.  I think the best way to see Ex Machina is to watch it as blind as possible. Don’t know anything other than to watch it.   It’s smart and tense and great.  Watch it now. 

This is the way sci-fi should be mad.  I mean on one end you have Mad Max where you use the film to explore this new world in a fast paced action thriller but on the other hand you have Ex Machina, a smaller film that explores big themes (what makes a human human) and takes you on a tense ride.  Both make it hard to take your eyes off the screen. Both films stay with you for days and weeks afterwards but more importantly both films make you think.  

I don’t think there is any better achievement for sci fi.  

Also Oscar Isaac is a god and should be in all the things.