..As my bio states. I am a socially awkward dork from Southeast Asia who mainly uses this account to reblog art, and text posts I find important and/or funny.
My interests revolve around art, storytelling, and whatever 'history and culture' falls under.
updated 08/06/2026 (DD/MM/YYYY format)
Currently, I like:
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Limbus Company (Oh god.)
Pokémon
Witch Hat Atelier (<3)
-and many more!
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Current tags:
#keltext — Text posts and me talking about my personal life shenanigans (note: very rare), among other things.
#photokelgraphy — Posts that have.. images or gifs or videos attached.
#artkhelmist — My art (though I've now switched posting art to my art blog, @alkhelmistuhree.)
#herbkiloc — OC posts, though that will be rare.
#snail mail — The ask box thing? Yeah.
A full tag guideline (this mainly serves for my own reference) can be found here!
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Sleep for a total of 800 hours per day
And then drink a liter of milk
Warm-up before you go play
These opening lines are fairly obviously mimicking the nature of the Index’s prescripts, directed instructions that you need to carry out delivered by the messenger (assuming that this song is from Yan’s perspective). That being said, it is important to note these first three lines due to their connection to, or rather allusions towards, a caregiver or parent.
Each of these opening instructions are things that one may hear said from an adult to a child, to sleep often and enough, to drink their milk to “grow up strong”. This helps to reinforce the idea that we are “Children” of the city.
This same idea carries into the following lines, the second stanza notably having allusions to a schooling system, and the latter half of the first being similar instructions towards a child, teaching someone to behave or write properly.
The lines:
Only eat, or write
Or pull the trigger with your right hand
Only thing that's left
Is to work on following commands
Seemingly make reference to the fact that, in the past, left handed people were forced to learn and write using their right hand, and this is something that I didn’t originally pick up on.
The other implication of these lines is (seemingly) that of death, either suicide or murder (my original interpretation of the song was the former, however due to… self, I am more likely to read into that understanding. Considering the later allusions to directed violence at others in similar prescript-lines, it is more likely the latter, however there is another, more direct reference to suicide later in the song, so both readings are possible. This is to say Carmen is bad at their job and can’t actually work things out)
Note lyrical symmetry with the line following “Right Hand” ending with “Left” to reinforce the previous. I’m not a music major (nor am i an english major) so musical and lyric analysis of this sort is scarce, apologies.
By the time you realize
You'll be restrained to a desk
And with your dreams on the floor, you comply
Eyes chained to the test
In 30 minutes, find a groom or bride
Bonus if brunette
In 90 hours, spill their insides
Paint your room picturesque
Relating to the aforementioned idea of a schooling system. Likewise with the idea of a caregiver, this reinforces the notion of being a “Child”, while also being another form of authority that controls your free actions directly for those within.
The use of 30 minutes, followed in two lines by 90 hours is incrementation of units, the use of numbers in a whole is a recurring lyrical idea throughout the song as a whole.
Now it's time for another vendetta
Going through the shelves
Picking out my pre-written persona
The reference to a persona is one of Project Moon’s references to Jungian psychology, and notable due to the collapse of a persona being a step leading to distortion or EGO manifestation within the universe. Yan is the former.
This idea of a persona being “pre-written” is in reference to Yan’s detachment and cold facade of a messenger, the only defence against the nature of the world; The idea of it being pre-written also implies the lack of autonomy in this role, which is Yan’s final realisation before distorting, his lack of free will and control over his life.
It is also important to note (here because it’s convenient) that the song seems to reference most of the Fingers (or at least that we knew about), it is a song about all of the city’s children after all, not simply the Index.
Vendetta is a term for familial vengeance, the middle has explicitly used this term in Limbus Company (Sinclair).
'Paint your room picturesque' and the 'test' mirrors the Ring's tests.
And of course the song as a whole reflects the prescripts of the Index.
Children of the city sees only the neon stars
Reflected upon the murky gutter sky
Don't ask me why
I desperately wish to be included in the city's night
“Neon stars” and “to be included in the city’s night”; both referencing both the singularities//wishes that come from stars, which hold some seat of influence or power in the canon, and the rank of Star of the City.
The use of “neon” could also be interpreted as a show of artificiality, neon streetlights upon the city’s construct, mistaken for lights for one who never looks up to see them; The cave so to speak.
In four hundred thousand meters, turn right
As is the case for most instruction-style lyrics in the song, this is an intentional subversion of what one could consider a reasonable instruction. This line in particular mimics that of a GPS, another form of instruction that you live or travel by, without direct thought about the reasoning or path, reminiscent of the song as a whole.
Pick up a knife and stab a familiar warm body
This line is, in my interpretation, Yan looking back upon having had a prescript to harm or kill someone close to him—or and including himself—which is hinted towards in Yan’s Key-page story in Ruina itself.
[I] take the flower that’s slipped into my hand and nail it into the mannequin’s heart. A beautiful tree in bloom grows from the cracks the flower made. It’s as soft as the hands that caressed me, and it’s as pretty as the sound that consoled me. And it’s as sharp as the noise of that last moment when I was scolded for the first time.
The distortion—or rather altered perception—of traumas, of what happened to Yan in the past; The mannequins are very directly people from Yan’s past, which I would personally wager to be his family, his parents in particular.
Note the language that the excerpt uses, “the hands that caressed me [...] the sound that consoled me [...] the last moment when I was scolded for the first time”, each being in part the act of a caregiver or guardian—this memory being explicitly from his childhood.
There is a form of antithesis present in the final line of this excerpt, “Last moment where I was scolded for the first time”, which in turn creates multiple ideas.
The meaning could parse as the final moments of his childhood, the final moments of his parent’s life when he was first scolded for this action. It could also read as another form of reminiscence, looking back upon a vulnerable child who had never faced proper scolding, punishment, for his actions, and the pain of that single memory.
The use of natural—botanic—imagery is also something to note, in part as it could be another form of antithesis towards the city itself, the flower and tree which tear through the plastic hearts of the ones who raised him.
Learned to fight before I knew love or bitterness of coffee
Once again returns to the literal concept of childhood and growth, learning and developing within the city, to become like it. This returning idea that, despite everything he believes, he is a child of the city like everyone else.
Snippy scissors cut down the strings
I set myself free
Only to figure out everything I chose was by proxy
Snippy scissors [...] Strings [...] set.
Silabance, the alliteration of S to create emphasis on tones and the specific words.
The final two lines are a rhyming couplet, Free and Proxy.
The use of the word Proxy is seemingly (intentionally) an allusion to the nature of the Index and the Will of the City, as well as a Pun on the Proxies of the Index such as Gloria and Hubert.
As we suckled upon the nine millimeter pacifier
Swallowing the fact that other than to expand
We had no purpose
The first line of this verse tis what was mentioned afore, alluding once again to suicide, specifically by way of firearm.
The lyrical trend of using measurements and numbers returns in this verse through the use of “Nine millimeter”.
In this same line, the wording choice of ‘Pacifier’ returns to the imagery of a child or infant, raised both by and in the nihilism of the city; the use of a gun as a pacifier — which is less than recommended — is the primary reason that I choose to interpret the former line (see verse 1) as that of suicide, tracing back to Yan being destroyed by the precepts, in his own story claiming that:
I wanted to end my life because of Prescripts, and now the Prescripts won’t even let me do that. Where has my free will run off to?
The likeness of a pacifier, alongside the line “Swallowing” invokes images of breastfeeding, once again returning to the motif of a child, or childhood, implying that this belief is what feeds the city’s children as they grow.
This line can be interpreted as the City at large taking the nature of humanity, of 'choice and goodness'—in the words of Clockwork Orange—and removing them by force, the brutality and ever expanding corporations supplanting meaning in whole.
As my ever-burning will to stay afloat backfires
I now know I must be comfortable being
Who I considered worthless
This line plays fairly straightforwardly into the story of Yan itself, returning to the keypage:
" I’ll gladly play along. Even if I can’t shatter the Prescripts, I’ll at least make a tiny crack. If I can show the masses that it’s possible to oppose the Prescripts, something might change… Something has to… It WILL make a difference
[...]
However, I realized it only just now. What I felt wasn’t hope, and that ignoring that Prescript and taking my own life as I’d planned might have been a truer expression of my free will. "
The will to live on, to stand up straight or, as Yan puts it: [to] see where to go, [to have] the strength to get up, is too what allowed him to come as far as he has, to live onwards and break the prescripts, and, in the end, become a pawn, become someone without a will of their own, or, “What [he] considered worthless”.
The very attempt to rebel against the system, the will to oppose the notion of a fatalistic world, is playing into the very will one tries to avoid and fulfilling the prophecy. A very Greek tragedy style story (See; Kronus eating his kids to avoid them overthrowing him, Oedipus being abandoned on the hill to avoid him overthrowing his parents, Odysseus blinding Posiedon’s son to attempt to get home). This is almost certainly intentional considering the references to weaving and direct usage of the name Moirai.
Follow the city's ribbon
To a heart nobody seems to listen
It takes my heart being broken and broken again
To know that I am the reason why
The sufferings never end
The use of the term “Ribbon” is strange, seeming to mean will or path, however this is seemingly to facilitate wordplay within the following line of “heart”, retroactively creating the idea of its beat, thus, its rhythm.
The second line in this verse is a double meaning as well, “A heart” referring to both the City’s, but too referring to Yan’s, as is stated in the following line of “My heart”.
If we return to the Keypage story once again, we may see two mentions of heart here as well, the more notable of the two being one we saw earlier.
[I] take the flower that’s slipped into my hand and nail it into the mannequin’s heart.
The earlier connection in the lyrics of Yan’s heart with that of the city’s is one that tracks with his narrative arc within Ruina; Yan learns to see the will of the city as his own will, and that his will is in turn the will of the city.
Through Yan’s story, as well as the wider story of Ruina, the themes of social/societal fatalism are very clearly present, most well put through the Index’s beliefs.
“You’re right, I think I see it now. It's the city…
It's because people have always been cruel.
Humans are born that way… and they have desperate wishes.
It doesn't matter if they were pure wishes welled up from innocent hearts or ambitions born from greed,
this is the result of what everyone wished for…
What I did was part of the City… the will of the City.
The City and I…
and every single person in this city were one and the same.
Do you think so, too?
It’s the city. It’s because of the people. They are children of the city, it is cruel because they are. The city is cruel because of the people within.
Neither the nature of humanity nor the city but both in cycle.
Project Moon is of course, at the end of the day, a company which frames its stories around the ability to “break the cycle”, so much so that their first game takes it to a literal extreme, and it’s all but spelled out all across the disparate and main stories of the following two.
In so, Yan loses himself to despair and distorts, coming to believe that no action he takes is his own, and that no single person may redirect the flow, or break the cycle. Such, it is thus better to not exist as a person at all within this cycle.
The literal meaning of ego death is the death of the self, or specifically of the ego. This is death as an understanding of change, rather than an ending, however I feel it can be more than both in this moment.
Understanding the concept of Yan’s heart, or his will, as the will of the city—of cruelty as the nature of humanity, borne of greed and innocence—something inescapable, something that needs to be healed, or cured.
A beautiful tree in bloom grows from the cracks… [...] and it’s as pretty as the sound that consoled me.
Every branch that grows from the tree causes a piercing buzz in my ears, the petals hurt as they brush past my cheeks to make me feel the pain they hold.
I stand still like my feet were tied, until my body is covered in scars.
In failing to kill the nature of humanity, desire and pain, of hurting those around you, in failing to curse this disease, a tree blossoms forth—not for him, but something to shine for others—what you might call “his” death, even if not truly.
Children of the City by Mili is one of my favorite songs, top 5 most definitely. Whilst it is impossible to fully understand it without knowing who Yan Vismok is, I do believe it is possible to enjoy the song enough to understand why it is that I hold this song so dearly. COTC is a song about the hopelessness that comes with the idea of "it is the way things are."
This song is about the rules of society and the exhaustion and hopelessness that comes with the very notion of rules like that existing. Whilst Yan Vismok focuses on the prescripts that he is forced to deliver, I believe all the lyrics can be related to the real world in some way.
Sleep for a total of 800 hours per day
And then drink a liter of milk
Warm-up before you go play
Only eat, or write
Or pull the trigger with your right hand
Only thing that's left
Is to work on following commands
Sleeping for 800 hours in one day is impossible, and it is worded like a Prescript. However, a common symptom of depression is sleeping too much. Drinking a liter of milk and going to play is something we are told as children as something that's good for us, and while that may be true, we are also predispositioned to listen to things and accept them as fact. "With your right hand" is specified because the fact that there are rules such as "using your left hand is evil" is another "rule of society" we were expected to follow mindlessly.
By the time you realize
You'll be restrained to a desk
And with your dreams on the floor, you comply
Eyes chained to the test
This criticizes both office job culture and standardized testing. By the time you realize the world is unfair and this shouldn't be the way one should live, it's too late. You have given up on your dreams, you have given up on things you've yearned to do. You're hopeless, and cannot imagine a world without the rules of society.
In 30 minutes, find a groom or bride
Bonus if brunette
In 90 hours, spill their insides
Paint your room picturesque
Whilst phrased like another Prescript, I believe this can also apply to the way that we are assumed to one day all be married to someone based on things like hair color or career. We are to get quickly married (30 minutes, for example) because that's what we are told to do. And soon we will hate them, because spending your forever with someone you do not know well will only lead to a fractured marriage.
Now it's time for another vendetta
Going through the shelves
Picking out my pre-written persona (ha-ah-ah)
Children of the city sees only the neon stars
Reflected upon the murky gutter sky
Don't ask me why
I desperately wish to be included in the city's night
Yan's line "Tell me how I can enjoy this nightmare" hits home here. His "vendetta" is him handing out prescripts, or contributing to being a cog in society, much to how we all enable a capitalistic nightmare that we cannot do anything about. All we can do is pick out a "pre-written persona", or a person who is happy to be here and continue living. We, as children of the city, see only the neon stars. Or fake things we are to "wish upon" with the concept of "wishing upon a star", and as already established, dreams mean nothing. The final two lines reflect how as people, we all want success in the world. But in finding success in capitalism, we are doomed to be but puppets in a society where the stars are fake and so are dreams. There is something to be said about pollution here too.
In four hundred thousand meters, turn right
This is said in a GPS-like tts voice. We are being directed by these rules of society, and we are to not question it.
Pick up a knife and stab a familiar warm body
Learned to fight before I knew love or bitterness of coffee
Snippy scissors cut down the strings
I set myself free
Only to figure out everything I chose was by proxy
We learn to hurt ourselves and not hurt others by burning out. We stab a familiar warm body, or our body, to cope with the exhaustion that day to day capitalism brings. We have learned to fight, to work for what we want before we are able to drink coffee (something that is often associated with things like overwork). When we try to "be free" by choosing passions, or opening your own business, you are still contributing to society as yet another cog.
As we suckled upon the nine millimeter pacifier
Swallowing the fact that other than to expand
We had no purpose
As my ever-burning will to stay afloat backfires
I now know I must be comfortable being
Who I considered worthless
The nine millimeter pacifier is a 9mm gun. Burnout and exhaustion so painful, we have to "bite the bullet" and understand that we have no purpose existing as a puppet. We must be comfortable knowing we are the very people we look down on as "worthless cogs" because we are all made to serve those in powers.
Follow the city's ribbon
To a heart nobody seems to listen
It takes my heart being broken and broken again (broken and broken again)
To know that I am the reason why (the reason why)
The sufferings never end
Since we are all contributing to the very system that we find ourselves suicidal and burnt out by, we have to understand that we are the reason why our sufferings will never end. We cause more and more harm, and there's nothing we can do about it.
The chorus repeats, until-
Do not go home until you finish reading the value of E.
2.71 8281
8284 5904
5235 3602
8747 1352
6624 9775
7247 0936
9995 9574
9669 6762
My favorite number is Euler's Number for this very reason. I have... a very great affinity for it because it is the basis for a lot of math, and it is a number that expands infinitely. Google has also used it in marketing, which I find funny with the whole theme of this song being against companies like google. The idea of not being able to be free, or go home, until you finish reciting an infinite number is much how we are not allowed to be free from the corporations until we finish all our tasks, and our tasks are ever expanding. So we will never be free. We are told 63 numbers of E, which has a lot of meanings but I really don't know if that's relevant to the song or story of Ruina. I've done research into the numerology of 63 and it all kind of ended up only somewhat related.
Anyways. Like everyone else, I will continue reading the value of E until I die.
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“In another mirror world don is a girl with a horse rocinante living on a ranch”
“In another mirror world don has a giant dog named rocinante”
Yeah well in another mirror world don is a broke college student with her beloved fish named rocinante. Yes she comes home to her shitty dorm and feeds hin flakes while telling him about her day. Also yes she has him there against dorm regulations but she will not leave her trusty steed at home.
She hides her fish somewhere during the day (I’m thinking behind her bed or pillow) and then pulls out the little tank when she gets back.
She bought him a castle for his tank (for a steed needs thou place of rest).
Also sinclair harbors the fugitive fish in his car during dorm checks. (He caught don with the fish one day and is too guilty to report her to the RA).
Also yes, sinclair does ask don about fish updates while they eat lunch and study in the library or cafeteria.
Maybe one day rodya hears about it because she thinks they’re talking about a fish to eat? Maybe ryoshu is the RA and that’s why they’re so afraid?
Updating this again, Ryoshu has known the whole time but her motherly nature says to just let the little blondes be. They’re not hurting anyone and she would rather they keep this secret awfully than do something that would actually affect anyone.
Also yes rodya becomes in on it after the cafeteria conversation and now the three of them are trying to hide their shenanigans from ryoshu by telling her they’re just studying in the dorm.
They one day want to show fish-cinante (thank you @colorfulslimeskeletonhuman for the nickname) the joys of music but can’t figure out what genres fish like. So they ask the marine biology major Ishmael about it.
Of course the fish they describe is way too specific and ishmael gets suspicious
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
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