paint by numbers

👑 …someone my muse is jealous of.

🔪 …someone my muse hurt in the past.

yikes probably @serecvdw when he rejected her while she was a little child and he DEFINITELY doesn’t regret it but he feels bad he made her feel bad you know???

👻 …someone my muse considers a best friend.

💘 …someone my muse has a crush on.

lmaooo @michelle2kings all the way and he’ll never give up hope sdlfkjsdlfj

💀 …someone my muse would kill for

You’ve really… thought of everything. That’s actually pretty refreshing. It’s been awhile since I’ve been on a proper date. I’m totally in.

I’d rather take a little bit of everything instead. 

That cannot possibly be true. Pretty lady like you? All eligible parties should be forming an orderly line down the block. You sure I’m not stealing you away from some guy, gal, or gender nonspecific pal for today’s activities?

Gooood afternoon, Ms. Middleton. I have a tentative plan for the evening and a car out front if you want to get started. There’s a Yayoi Kusama exhibit running at the local art museum and it’s booked solid, but one of my profs knows the curator, so we could totally get in. If you’re interested.

Is there? That- Wow… That is actually cost efficient. I think this might be the first time you’ve used those words appropriately in any given sentence nevermind one that centred around yourself. I’m proud of you, man. Even if I don’t know if I’m entirely prepared to witness you tackle the subway. For Frida, I’m in.

Who else am I gonna threaten you with? We all saw the video of her taking down that Howard Archibald guy at that big party you were all so hyped for, she’s got moves. That’s kinda her job. [ laughs ] Someone doesn’t think you’re cool? Say it ain’t so!

Kamal, Kamal, Kamal. You really…aren’t being serious. Are you— Nah, stop tha- Wait, hold on. You told me those pants weren’t too tight!

I’m turning over a new leaf, Spence. I’m living on a budget. Next thing you know I’ll be mastering coupons, and then you’ll have no excuse not to let me do groceries and buy your underwear for you. 

She’s definitely got moves and they both terrify me and kinda turn me on. But, you know, she’s technically on Priya’s payroll, so, no fraternizing or whatever. She made me watch a PSA video about it. 

Have you seen those dimples? That talent? That measured, everyman demeanor? Spencer King is a national treasure. He’s gonna be our second black president or our first black non-astronaut to be invited into space, ‘cause even the aliens want him.

I’m really big on statement jackets.

You are? Wh- Oh. Were those two ludicrous criticisms mutually exclusive? Nah, come on. Anyone who has the audacity to disregard Frida like that is automatically off the Christmas list on principal alone. You can do so much better, man. Stay strong.

How could I ever stay mad at you, Kamal? You’re always the one with the black eye. Alright, that’s only technically correct but I am perfectly capable of also running away from danger, thank you very much. Either that or I could just ask Lili to come hang out. It was pretty good, yeah. I never should have introduced them to you, it’s only a matter of time before they’re completely over me and all the sweatshirts suddenly say ’Kamal’s #1’. Kingsingh? Nice.

I know, right? Hey! There’s a Frida exhibit at the New York Botanical Garden. The department bought tickets for all the art majors, so we’d only have to split the cost of one! And I sort of know how the Subway works now. See? I’m being super cost effective. 

Hey don’t threaten me with Lili. You know I don’t like anyone else taking my black eyes, and she’s so insistent about it. Plus I always do embarrassing stuff around her which sucks ‘cause I want her to think I’m cool. 

For the fame and the cheerleaders or were they an implied subcategory of ‘the fame’?

Mm, yeah we’re not doing that again. It’s bad enough you’ve caused this scene in real life, we don’t need any more digital memorabilia of it. One Twitter war a month. Hashtag. Besides, I’m pretty sure they already know- deep down- we’re better than them between the stats and the last selfie you posted.

Listen, man, I’m done with the cheerleaders. They say I’m “too emotional” and that I “talk too much about Frida Kahlo during foreplay”. Whatever. Like those are bad things. 

I guess you must be losing your touch if she only wanted the shirt. Shame, you should be right on top of your game now, shouldn’t you? You’ve definitely had enough time to hit your stride.

Poor guy. You should definitely call the crisis hotline. They’re probably worried since they haven’t heard from you yet today. Do you need me to stick around and offer my advise about color schemes? We wouldn’t want you to end up matching a dark blue shirt with light brown shoes or anything.

God, you youths are ruthless these days. Don’t even get me started about what it was like a thousand years ago in the good old days when pagers were a thing and a select few trust fund kids wore those plastic butterfly clips to school. 

                          ‘  dios, no, some kind of underwear fetish, she took the used ones from the night before.  tmi, i know.  ‘

                          ‘  oh boy, do you want her to be doing the cinderella play? because, honestly, it just sounds a bit… crazy and stalker-ish, if you ask me, mi amor.  ‘

“Mm. That is... a lot. I always felt like the point of Gossip Girl should be to expose the used-underwear stealers, but instead she just, like, pointlessly drags everyone hot and fun.”

A KAMAL SINGH MOODBOARD: 1/?

“I have more incredulous things to say about your questionable taste, but I’ll just quit now because ragging on people I don’t know is negative and exhausting. Plus, there’s the unfortunate fact that the one thing frat boys and I have in common is probably the only artist we know is Van Gogh, because of the whole ear thing. So who am I to talk.”

“True. Imagine being able to get away with that level of nonsense.” Breathing out the deepest, most dramatic sigh she could manage, Mia presented him her left hand. “Coworker convinced me to get a manicure yesterday, and I already chipped it. On a patient’s teeth – please don’t ask and tell me about your day instead.”

“Hey, not for lack of my trying. You can always take me up on that museum date I keep offering. I’ll teach you everything I know, and you too can seduce unsuspecting co-eds with your knowledge.”

“Kamal. Come on. You do not grow out your stubble so meticulously – dare I saw artfully – for frat boys.”

“Who even names their kid Chad anymore? Did the baby come out holding a Mountain Dew can and wearing an inverted hat? Then again, I can honestly say that I’ve never met one before, so maybe he doesn’t really exist and they’re just, like, referring to an entity of the Bro Code and bad decisions.”

“They are strangely seductive! I like their swoopy hair. Also, they don’t know anything about art so I hit ‘em with my monologue on the colors of Titian and they think I’m the smartest man in the world.”