I'm 24 and really fucked

Harry: I don’t know

Hermione: What do you mean you don’t know? You’re dating Draco, right?

Stiles: "Because he's a prince"

Derek: "...I'm not"

Lydia: "I used to think Derek hated you"

Stiles: "He did"

Lydia: "Stiles"

Stiles: "Okay, maybe not"

Lydia: "The man carried you out of burning buildings"

Stiles: "Friends do that"

Lydia: "He threatened people for making you cry"

Stiles: "Best friends do that"

Lydia: "He drove across the state because you had the flu"

Stiles: "..."

Lydia: "Stiles"

Stiles: "If I forget you..."

Derek: "Then I'll remind you"

Stiles: "Every day?"

Derek: "It's our couch"

Stiles: "..."

Derek: "..."

Scott: "Did Derek just say 'our'?"

Derek: "I punched a man for flirting with Stiles once"

Peter: "Wow... Romantic"

Derek: "Stiles laughed so hard he snorted"

Peter: "And?"

Draco: ...

Draco: What?

Blaise: Blaise Weasley or Ronald Zabini?

Draco: Why are you even thinking about this?

Blaise: Well, I love my mother, but she's not really the best person in the world. Mrs Weasley on the other side gives me food and hugs every time I see her.

Draco: Do you ever consider you can just... put a hyphen in your surname?

Blaise: ...

Ron: What? I didn’t do anything, the date was amazing

Draco: Yeah, but he’s been making that face all morning. Look, he’s doing it again!

Ron: ...but he’s just smiling?

Draco: Did you use that opportunity to do something?

Ron: Yeah of course, I ate his pizza

Ron: What? My gay name?

Blaise: Yeah, it’s your first name—

Ron: Haha. That’s very funny, Blaise—

Blaise *gets down on one knee*: And my last name

Harry: What thing?

Ron: He just handed me a new chessboard and told me to have a nice day! How weird is that? He’s been doing this for months and I don’t know what he’s trying to do!

Hermione: You don’t know why, Ron?

Ron: I just think he’s being all weird like Slytherins are. Like Draco constantly bickering with Harry and Pansy constantly teasing you, you know, before you got together! Right?

Hermione: Okay, so let me get this straight, you are sitting here with a new chessboard from Blaise, eating chocolates that Blaise bought for you, and a pie Blaise made for you, wearing pajamas that Blaise got for you, and you are…wondering what he is trying to do?

Ron, chewing on a mouthful of pie: I know! How weird is he!

Harry: …I’m less oblivious than this, right?

Draco: Well, it’s a ball to raise money for the Aurors, isn’t it? I’ve always had a soft spot for men in uniform. One in particular

Blaise: And I’ve always had a hard spot. You look good tonight, Weasley

Ron: Oh, yeah. I invited him over for the holiday and mum gave him his very own Weasley sweater. He likes it, I think

Harry: Well, I remembered pissing him off. Then we just started making out

Ron: So I should start an argument with Blaise? I’m not sure it’d work. Blaise never gets mad at me

Harry: Hmm, now that’s hard

Ron: Oh! I know! We should ask the person who knows this best!

*later*

Hermione, opening the door: What relationship advice do you need now?