\(^▽^) I draw and write. I love narratives examining patterns of grief, connection, and self-inflicted pain. Some of my interests include PMMM, ISAT, and Hadestown.
If you like complex character dynamics, political fantasy, wholesome hijinks, and an economically-relevant magic system, then you might like my webnovel! It is filled with little guys.
The queen was assassinated seven months ago. She left her kingdom with an economy crumbling under the Magic Ban passed a year prior, and a g
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Witch Hat Atelier design for a character from my webnovel ( ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ )
I actually think she wouldn't use magic in this world, either -- between brimhats and pointed hats, she'd probably think that the only way to live freely is as a normal person, passing as one of the unknown. But it was fun drawing a big hat!
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finally finished this little PMV i've been chipping away at...! i love butchered tongue and i love ISAT and the two of them together make me foam at the mouth.
you were there all along, but still, you return home...
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Thought I’d finally share the finishing of the shot that put this project to bed for a whole damn year!
Gif is compressing it, but oh well~ Yall are just gnna have to wait till I finish up the project for the full quality~ ;3
If I had to say, it was probably the hands, the arms, and the sleeves that had me procrastinating on this shot for so long. And at the point I stopped (the rough animation on the left) I had just finished fixing the earrings, so I guess I felt a self of accomplishment. Buuuuuut didn’t out weigh the dread of hands and foreshortening…
When I DID end up continuing it, it was cuz I decided to replay ISAT and was tossed back into the hyperfixation train. And I ended up finishing the lineart of the shot in 2 days.
*siggggghhhhh* it only took 2 days…. BUT ITS COOL I KNOW MY LIMITS NOW!!!!!! And i just gtta accept now that some things may not be perfect in my eyes, but it’ll be good enough! I just wanna get this project as done as possible!!!!!
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idk if you take requests for your excellent meta type posts but if you have any thoughts on mirabelle and bonnie's relationship i'd love to hear them. no pressure tho
i do have some thoughts!!
after i wrote about the difference between how Mirabelle treats and chooses to perceive Siffrin versus how her anxiety tends to color her interpretation of his attitude and actions (Loop hangout day / Act 5), i was thinking that he can’t be the only one in the party where there’s such a wide gap between what we see her outwardly do and her “worst thoughts” about them. Siffrin is the one who’s notorious for hiding and suppressing that kind of thing, but Mirabelle barely gave us a clue that she might see Siffrin or their relationship with her/the party as anything other than warm and affectionate until Siffrin gave her a reason for those suppressed harsher thoughts to boil over.
so what might her anxiety be telling her about her other relationships that we don’t see because, unlike Siffrin, we don’t have the insight of seeing her entire internal monologue? we don't get any direct confirmation, but we can extrapolate and speculate!
similar to the complications in Siffrin's relationship with Bonnie in contrast to his resentment/bitterness towards Isabeau and Odile, with Bonnie, i doubt any of the negativity Mirabelle feels would actually be directed at them as a person or what they do, but in what they represent as a sign of Mirabelle's inadequacies/failures as a Savior. if the Head Housemaiden had blessed herself instead of Mirabelle, maybe this would have all been taken care of before Bonnie ever had to see their sister freeze and end up starving and exhausted in the wilderness. maybe they would never have had to fight or feel the pain of loss and separation like this, terrified that their sister will never recover. Mirabelle berates herself for "taking so long," like someone else could have been better, faster, prevented more suffering, rallied more people behind them to help...but it's her responsibility, she's the only one who's immune to the curse. and because it's her, because she's not good enough, she's bringing a child into the heart of the danger and she's so selfishly grateful to have them with her. there were no good options--they're too stubborn to accept being left behind, and anyway, wouldn't that mean leaving them to freeze with the rest of Vaugarde? the very fate their sister tried to hard to protect them from? but what if bringing them along gets them hurt or killed, like what almost happened before, the very fate that Siffrin gave up his eye to protect them from?
she's been useless both times. couldn't defeat the King in time to prevent any of this from happening to Bonnie in the first place, couldn't reach them in time to keep them or Siffrin safe, they're all here and hurting because of her failures, and they're still putting their faith in her because of the lie of a "divine" blessing.
but they're here. and she can swallow down the guilt, because Bonnie needs more from her than that. so she does her best to be a responsible caretaker when their sister can't be there, to comfort and support them when they're hurting, to help them feel valued and useful while keeping them as far away from real danger as possible.
and actually she's doing an AWESOME JOB AT IT. Bonnie unambiguously adores her. she's their "cool sister!!!" (who would give them sweets if they ask!) they don't tease her like they do Siffrin or Isabeau, they don't strain to make themself seem more mature like they sometimes do with Odile. if the sleepover is Mirabelle's idea then it's awesome, why didn't Siffrin come up with it? when Mirabelle is anxious at the beginning of the House, they actually compliment Siffrin's abilities to make her feel better, completely earnest and serious in their concern for her (despite their insistence on being dismissive and mocking of him at almost any other time before their fractured relationship is addressed). if they want a hug, it's Mirabelle they'll ask for it.
but speaking of that...the bathroom scene where Siffrin can eavesdrop on Bonnie actually asking for a hug:
Bonnie: ... Belle...
Mirabelle: Yes?
Bonnie: ...
Bonnie: Can I have a hug?
Mirabelle: Oh!
Bonnie: [the text here shakes] 'M sorry, I promise I won't hug you long, I just, um--
Mirabelle: Oh, oh sweetheart, come here...
Bonnie: [text shaking] ...
Mirabelle: Oh Bonnie, you're doing such an amazing job helping us. You're so brave. It must be so scary for you...I'm really proud of you, you know? With you by our side, I'm sure we'll be able to save your sister soon!
Bonnie: Mmm... I dunno...
Mirabelle: I do know! I-I'm the Change God's chosen, after all! And so I know that everything will be fine! Okay?
Bonnie: ...
Bonnie: Okay.
Bonnie: ...Can you stop squeezing my head so hard though...
Mirabelle: Ah! S-sorry!!!
a very sweet moment!! with a couple interesting things going on on both sides!
i think from anyone else, Bonnie would find this tone a little grating, condescending, and feel the need to assert their independence and maturity. but it's genuinely comforting to them, coming from Mirabelle. their bathroom scenes with Isabeau and Odile both have similar themes of seeking comfort and reassurance that they are being useful, that things really will turn out okay, that each reflect the ways Bonnie is willing to open up to them and the methods the others use to address their feelings. Mirabelle's method of comfort is the most warm and gentle out of the three, addressing how hard it must be for them and the strength it takes for them to be there, centering their presence by saying that Bonnie's help will surely be enough to let them save their sister.
but....that's not quite enough. Bonnie's still unsure.
so Mirabelle says "I-I'm the Change God's chosen, after all! And so I know that everything will be fine!"
and she squeezes them tighter. too tight. she's falling back on the old lie, the reason they're all there with her, risking their lives. (being herself is not enough.) (what if the rest is a lie, too? she can't guarantee any of them will survive this.)
and that works. that's what Bonnie accepts. Mirabelle is too important to be wrong, too special to fail. she was blessed by a god, after all.
and with that i'll also point back at the shakiness and guilt in their voice for daring to ask for comfort from her for more than a moment of her time. 'M sorry, I promise I won't hug you long. like their emotional needs are an intrusion on her space and time. they have confidence enough in their relationship to ask this from her, but they shouldn't ask for too much, right? i'm sorry i'm this weak and childish. i'm sorry for taking up your valuable time. i'm sorry i need this from you, too, i'll be as fast as possible.
which. oof. we usually see them puffing themself up to take up space, not minimizing themself so openly and harshly...but that self-minimization does still happen elsewhere. they're just usually better at bouncing back and covering it up, or converting it into anger and defiance. in a way, they're letting themself be more intensely vulnerable here with her than with any of the others, and that vulnerability is met with gentle acceptance that they let themself sink into. they can be a scared, uncertain kid with her.
and when Mirabelle confesses that the Change God's blessing is a lie, of course Bonnie doesn't actually trust or love her any less than they did before. the first thing they say when Siffrin talks to them during the snack break following her breakdown is "Is Belle okay? Is she okay?"
no sense of betrayal or doubt, just the same earnest desire to comfort her. just like she always comforts them.
Thinking about how at the start of every loop, the party has their dinner and sleepover in the clocktower, and Loop is just . . . alone . . . under the Favor Tree . . . all night . . . Do they ever get cold . . .?
