Colonel Pipsqueak

Distracted in my search, I fail to hear the door creak on its hinges.

“Find anything, Princess?” his voice from behind startling me.

“Oh, Astra! What are you doing here?” I ask, my heart hammering against my ribs.

“Well, I originally came here to invite you to breakfast,” he begins, closing the distance between us, “buuut it looks like you are already preoccupied in my things” he finishes with a cocky smirk.

“I- it is just-” I stutter.

“What? Cat got your tongue?” he teases as he closes the gap between us, leaning over the desk.

“I’m still upset with you” I mumble, brushing past him.

“When you pout like that, you look exactly as you did when we were kids, Pipsqueak” he says softly, a sense of longing in his voice. I quickly turn around at the nickname he rarely touched since he swore his Oath of Fealty to me, my irritation at him slowly waning.

‘Well, we aren’t kids anymore and you can’t address me so casually whenever you please” I snap back, trying to internally distance myself as my heart begs to cave in.

“Very well, very well” he says casually as he lifts his arms in surrender. In that moment I catch a glimpse of a silver and red tassel on his sword.

“Is… that…?” I ask as I point towards his sword.

“You thought I’d go anywhere without it? It’s my good luck charm…” He pauses. “You’re my good luck charm…”

The room falls quiet for a long moment. Finally, I break the silence. “How long are you going to continue keeping secrets from me?”

“Princess, I just want to protect you.” he replies firmly.

“I can protect myself, Caleb. I really can-”

“What if I’m the one you need to be wary of…?” he interrupts, his voice hesitating.

“I don’t follow…” I murmur as I step towards him.

“What if I’m not who you thought I was… or if I changed and became someone you hate? The things I’ve had to do... I don’t want to hurt you.” He tries to speak confidently, but I can hear the fear under every word.

“I don’t care.” I respond surely.

“Princess, I don’t believe you understood what I said-” 

“I. Don’t. Care.” I repeat. “Caleb, who you were and who you are… you’re still my Caleb. You can hide parts of yourself or try to push me away, but that won’t alter anything” 

I take a step towards him, but he takes one backwards in response.

“I care that you’re keeping secrets from me. I care that you keep pushing me away. I care that you keep pretending that you’re okay when you’re obviously not. But your past? Your mistakes?” I shake my head lightly, “you’re my Caleb- the good, the bad, and the annoying.”

“I’m not that annoying” he teases with a smile before becoming serious again, “but you’re really okay with this? With me?”

“No matter what shape you take or path you have to choose, it’s always been us against the world” I slowly close the distance between. “If you could trust me more, this can be a new start for us…” I stop before him, waiting for him to take the next step in defining our future.

He takes my hand, gently running his thumb across my knuckles.

“And if I want this ‘new start’ to be different than before?” he asks softly

“Different?”

“I can give you everything we dreamed of, everything I always wanted to. I’m not just some orphan Empress Josephine took in anymore… I can stand beside you” his voice lightly trembles as he speaks.

“But Skyhaven-”

“I am Skyhaven.” he cuts me off.  “And we’re restoring this country’s name and honor. I will stand by you, Princess. Just give me a chance… please.” he pleads

“No more hiding in the shadows or trying to do everything alone” I say as I move my hand to intertwine our fingers. “If you want to define us… differently… then we become a team, the good and the bad.” 

Caleb pauses and hesitates for a moment. “If you give me a little more time, I can hurry to wrap things up-” he starts before I interrupt him.

“Caleb. It’s either together or not at all. I’m not interested in being a useless princess that stays locked up in a palace, ignorant of the happenings outside”

“I don’t want to hurt you or see you in pain and this is complicated- it would shatter your world, everything you’ve known…” Caleb begins to ramble off, a hint of anxiety in his voice.

“Why do you keep making decisions for yourself? It feels like we continue going in circles. I keep telling you I can help you, that I don’t need protection but you continue insisting that this will break me- that you will break me. I want to be on your side, I really do, but if you keep shutting me out I’ll have no choice but to take matters in my own hands, regardless of what you want.” I slowly rest my hand on his face to caress his cheek. “Why won’t you let me in?” 

I see a spark of pain in his eyes as he searches between mine, weighing the consequences. He opens his mouth to talk before closing it again. 

“Caleb… please” I beg, “I would do anything for you… I’d sacrifice myself for you-” but as the words exit my mouth, Caleb’s face darkens.

“Don’t ever say that again” he declares harshly. “I would rather you despise and hate me your entire life than you ever sacrifice yourself.”

He lets go of my hands and moves to sit on the edge of the bed, dropping his head into his hands.

“Pipsqueak… I can’t live without you. The past few years alone felt like an eternal hell I forced myself through to protect you but now that you’re here… I can’t bear the thought of letting you go” He raises his head to look at me. “I can’t tell you everything. I wish I could, but there are some things I have to face alone. If only I could selfishly claim that I’m doing everything for you but…” 

I sit next to him, taking a deep breath before turning to look at him.

“Then we work together but separately. You help me and I’ll help you. I don’t need to know everything, I solely ask that you stop shutting me out completely. Trust that I’ll accept every side of you, the same way you accept every side of me”

He gives a dry laugh. “You have no doubts that I’ll always accept every side of you?” he asks, shock in his voice

“Of course. I can only assume you think of me how I think of you and, while this is a version of you I have yet to fully know, I accept it all. Were you not the one who would say you want all I’m willing to give you, and all that I want” I begin as Caleb chimes in.

“Is what I’ll offer you” Caleb finishes my sentence with a light smile. “By Astra, Pipsqueak, you really like me that much?” He teases.

“Yes, I’m a very foolish princess who hopelessly fell for her very charming knight” I reply softly, resting my head on his shoulder.

A comforting silence fills the room as he holds my hand, intertwining our fingers, his thumb drawing small circles against my skin.

“Your squadron is in the dungeon…” he says gently, slightly hesitating as he continues, “unharmed but pending interrogation”.

I immediately perk up and lift my head off his shoulder to look at him. 

“They are truly okay?”

“They are,” he replies with a gentle smile. “And if you would rather answer my questions, I will spare them from any interrogation.”

“Thank you, Caleb… truly, from the bottom of my heart” 

“All it took was giving you classified information and a way to help your squadron?” he teasingly mocks, but I shake my head in reply

I jerk back and stare at him, confusion and horror deep in my chest. How could this be my Caleb? My gentle, sweet, and patient knight… the one who would spend hours indulging my every whim was gone. Or maybe he had never been here at all.

“Why can’t you listen to me?” I plead. “I don’t want to be trapped inside a castle. I want to be of help to my people… I want to help you!”

“You can help me by staying safe,” he replies flatly.

“That’s not the point!” I shout.

Caleb falls silent. After a long moment, he rises to his feet and walks toward the door. His hand hovers on the doorknob before he finally speaks. “Stay here and rest.”

As the door shuts behind him, I hear it… a click. 

My heart dropping to my stomach, I stumble out of bed, nearly tripping as I rush to the door. I twist and rattle the knob. He locked it… he actually locked me inside.

“Caleb! Let me out!” I yell, pounding my fist against the wood.

“Caleb Xia, open the door this instance” I shout again, my palms throbbing with every hit. 

Your breath hitches, gazing into his gleaming amethyst eyes. You had always snuck a peak at him during class while he was on patrol or longed to hold his hand just a moment longer when he escorted you. He was the man who vowed to always stay by your side at 13, your knight in shining armor, Caleb. 

“Princess,” he whispers, “are you okay?” 

You quickly compose yourself and step down from the couch. Looking down to fix your dress, you reply “Yes, just fine…” as your cheeks burn red.

But before either of you can say more, there is a knock at the door.

“Princess, his Majesty has requested your presence” the voice calls from the other side. You both quickly clean up the light mess in your room, as if hiding a secret, and make your way to his office.

“Do you know what this is about, Sir Caleb?” you ask, ensuring to use his proper title when out in public.

He shakes his head. “I’m not sure… but I think I have an idea…” refusing to say anymore for the remainder of the walk. 

Once you arrive at your father’s office, you wait for his aid to announce your arrival and let you in. Caleb and you walk into his office, but he stays by the door as you approach your father’s desk.

“Yes, your Majesty? I heard you called for me.” you politely ask. He looks up from his desk and places a portrait in front of you. The image was of a good-looking man, around 27, with black hair and piercing forest green eyes.

“I don’t understand. Who is this?” you ask, confused as to the exact nature of this conversation. 

“Prince Zayne. You are set to be engaged with him next month. You will depart at the end of next week to his kingdom.” he spoke casually, as if we were at afternoon tea. 

“M-marriage? But I thought-”

“Dear, they offered us indispensable medical technology and research.” he cuts you off. “Please do not argue with me and spend the next week preparing for your departure.”

You politely bow and excuse yourself, feeling the weight of his decision fall on your shoulders. How could your life and future dwindle down to a simple negotiation? As you walk towards the doors, you glance up to see Caleb clenching his jaw tightly. You both walk in silence back to your bedroom, the light-hearted air from before gone. 

Once you arrive, you quickly excuse all your servants from your floor except for Caleb.

“I can’t do this- I won’t do this.” you declare to him weakly, your strong and proud face crumbling in the privacy of your little world.

Caleb walks towards you, unsure of how to comfort you. He lifts his hand before dropping it. Opens his arms, but quickly closes them before you can react. He decides to simply stand before you, stoic as ever.

“But it is your duty.” he replies dryly, without an ounce of feeling.

“You want me to go?” your voice trembles as each word comes out. “You want me to leave Linkon? To leave you?”

“You are promised to be engaged, it is not about what I want.” His answer as detached as before.

“So you are happy to see me leave?” You ask unseriously, but when he fails to respond, your heart drops. “What? Happy to be relieved of the duties of having to entertain the reckless and daft princess all day? Excited to no longer have me begging for your attention?” you scoff, trying to mask your pain with anger. 

“No, that’s not what I meant-” Caleb timidly begins to speak.

“Then what did you mean?” you cut him off sharply, but once again, he fails to say anything. “Out” you demand.

“Princess, please-” he pleads.

“I ordered you to get out!” you coldly declare as you point towards the door. Caleb, unable to refute a royal command, slowly leaves your bedroom.

You spend the next three days locked in your room, refusing to see anyone. Even though you knew your love was one-sided, you at least thought he cared about you a little. But that day you realized, it was the silly imaginings of a girl in love. How could a knight be in love with his master? To him, you were nothing more than the way he earned his paychecks. At the end of the third day, you requested to be assigned a new guard for the remainder of your time in Linkon. 

The remaining six days before your departure were spent in classes learning about your new home or being fitted for your engagement dress and winter clothes. You tried with everything you had to push out the thought and picture of Caleb. His piercing amethyst eyes, his relentless teasing, the way his hand felt, or his warmth when he danced with you as your escort. You tried, no, needed to forget him.

Your last day in Linkon was filled with goodbyes from your family and close friends. You drank tea, had light refreshments, but excused yourself when you caught a glimpse of Caleb patrolling through the garden. How could you ever think it would be that easy to forget a man like him?

That night, you lie awake in bed. Your anxiety over your new life, your sadness at leaving home, and the hole in your heart from an unrequited first love keep your mind awake. Just when your mind finally begins to settle down, you hear a faint tapping at your window. 

You slowly make your way to the window, a candlestick in hand. As you pull back the curtain, you're greeted by the same bright eyes you fell in love with as a child. You move to put the curtains back when a muffling sound comes through.

“Please… can we talk?”

You sigh deeply as you unhinge the window lock. He barely pulls the frame outward as he sneaks inside. Moving quietly, he walks towards you, his familiar scent making your heart waver. You both stand in silence as his gaze refuses to leave you.

“Did you come here just to stand in front of me?” You ask, harsher than you intended but if you didn’t cover your feelings with anger, you’d crumble in front of him.

“Are you truly leaving at sunrise?” he whispers, hesitating to take your hand.

You pull back your hand and cross your arms. “Yes, I am. Why are you speaking as if you were uninformed of my schedule?” you scoff at his new-found concern.

“I thought I could do it… I thought I could watch you leave, to live the life you were meant to… but… I can't.” His voice trembles as he kneels to the ground. You instinctively move your arms to catch him, but he takes the opportunity to grab your hand and holds it to his forehead.

“May Astra condemn me for my sin, but I can’t in good conscience let you go. You are my everything. My morning and night. My sun and moon.” He moves your hand to cup his cheek as tears run down his face. “I wake up in hopes of seeing your face and fall asleep to dream of you next to me. I would lay my life for you a million times, and still get back up to do it again. Please don’t go, don’t leave me.” 

Your heart drops and shatters at his confession. The love you so desperately longed for and wished was yours the entire time. 

“You… love me?” you ask through a trembling voice, barely able to speak.

“Love?” he laughs sadly to himself. “I wish love was a word that could easily describe what I feel for you.” he says as he kisses the inside of your hand.

“Caleb-”

“I know I must disgust you,” he interrupts, “but I swear to give you every piece of me” he pleads, his voice shallow and shaky.

“Disgust? Caleb, you could never disgust me.” You say as you cup his cheeks and gently guide him back on his feet. “You’re my best friend and protector. You’re the name I call when I’m scared or lonely. The face I look for in every crowd… for my heart has been yours since the moment our eyes met”

He gazes into your eyes, remnants of tears staining his face. 

“You’re so beautiful” he whispers, bringing his hands to your face. Nervously at first, his fingers trembling as they meet your skin. You nuzzle into his touch, his thumb caressing your cheek.

“I missed you” you say under your breath. He watches your eyes close as you melt into his touch. Slowly, he makes your foreheads meet, brushing his nose against yours. 

“Yes, your highness. I shall do my best” the physician concedes. Just as he approaches the bed, I force my eyes open, groggy but hoping to make this visit less troublesome for everyone.

“C-Caleb?” I murmur, rubbing my eyes. “Um… what time is it?”

Caleb immediately strides to my bedside and cups my cheek.

“Just a little past six in the evening. You slept for about an hour, Princess” he says, his voice returning to the gentle softness I remember.

He helps me sit up, remaining at my side as the physician began his examination. 

“She appears to be underweight and is suffering from a concussion.” the physician reports to Caleb before addressing me. “Please take it slow for the next few days and eat each of your three meals. It would quicken your recovery if you focused on eating white meat with every meal.” 

After delivering his diagnosis, he bows and excuses himself. Once the door shuts, Caleb’s shoulders fall, and he sinks to his knees in front of me.

“Why have you not been eating?” His voice wavers between worry and frustration. “You always had at least seconds or thirds.”

“How could I eat seconds when you were… and I didn't know who…” I swallow, refusing to utter the word ‘dead’. “I did eat, but it seems not enough for the level of physical activity I’m doing” I say quietly, feeling as though I’m making excuses to avoid being scolded.

Caleb runs a hand through his hair before placing both hands behind his head, the way he always used to do.

“Okay. Just… make sure you start to eat more. What kind of physical activity have you been up to? Archery? Or still practicing swordplay?” he asks casually, ruffling the top of my head

“Caleb!” I playfully swat his hand away. “I actually joined the Royal Guard. I took your old position as Vice Captain…” I begin to recount when I see the shine in his eyes go dull.

“I-I worked hard for it and took the exam! I also earned my position through successful campaigns by the border,” I quickly try to explain, trying to ease any thoughts that I may be demeaning the role of a knight.

“You led campaigns to the border?” he asks sharply, the warmth disappearing from his voice. He stands and moves towards the center of the room. Outside, the rain intensifies. “Is that why you were in the forests near Starscape?” 

“Ye-yes” I stutter.

“Do you realize how much danger you were almost in? If I hadn’t been out on the field supervising and realized they captured you-?” he turns to quip back at me, his tone shifting into something closer to an interrogation.

“Caleb, I am the Vice Captain of the Linkon Royal Guard. It’s my duty to lead recon missions and protect my squad.” My voice hardens. “I am supposed to be the first to risk my life.”

“You are a princess.” he states matter of factly. “You could have died out there. What if you had been captured and I wasn’t there? Would you sacrifice your head for the meaningless lives of your squadron? You should be back home preparing for marriage.” He says coldly.

“Meaningless?” My voice rises. “Did you also consider your life meaningless compared to mine? Answer me.” I demand.

“Every life is meaningless outside of yours.” He replies bluntly without any sense of hesitation.

My hand moves before I can stop myself, I grab the glass beside me and throw it. It hits his chest and falls, shattering across the floor. The room is silent except for the rain and distant thunder.

“Did that help you calm down?” He says to me plainly.

“You’re impossible” I mutter, turning toward the window. “Why are you even here? Or… how are you even here?”

“It’s… a long story.” he replies before taking a seat at the end of the bed. “I am an orphan…” He looks over at me, “But from Skyhaven, not Linkon.”  

“That still doesn’t explain anything,” I say under my breath.

“My parents were the late King and Queen. My uncle orchestrated their murders.” He inhales deeply. “My full name is Caleb Xia.”

My head whips around at the name.

“You-you’re a Prince? Why did you never tell me-”

“Before you get any silly ideas,” he cuts in, “my parents died when I was 3. I did actually spend 5 years hidden in an orphanage in Linkon before news arrived to Empress Josephine of where I was. But it seems she took me in not to protect me, but to use me as a bargaining chip.” He quickly corrects.

“How did you learn all this? And how did you survive the explosion?” My voice starts to shake. “Caleb, how are you even alive?”

“I… can’t tell you” he says quietly as his gaze drops.

“You can’t tell me how you learned you're the rightful heir to Skyhaven nor how you survived the explosion?” I ask with a scoff, but Caleb stays silent. “Where is the rest of my squad? You didn’t kill them, did you?”

“I can’t tell you that either…” he replies again, softer.

I roll my eyes and look back out the window. “You can’t tell me anything anymore, huh? Then what can you tell me?” 

“I can tell you that I missed you.” His voice breaks just slightly as he crawls slowly toward me, closing the distance between us. “That every day without you felt like losing part of my heart… my soul. I can tell you that being near you again feels like a dream. That I’m scared to touch you… scared to break you.” His hand lifts toward my face, trembling. “I wanted to feel your warmth, your heartbeat… everything.”

I gently take his hand and guide it back down to the bed.

“Caleb… I feel like I don’t know you anymore. I look in your eyes but all I see is darkness. You insist on treating me like some fragile doll, too weak to fight and too naive to know the truth, but I’m not the same anymore. I can defend myself. I can help you. Can’t you trust me? You can rely on me, I don’t need you to-” I begin to plead with him before he roughly cuts me off.

“You don’t need me anymore? Is that what you think?” He scoffs as he stands abruptly, running a hand through his hair. 

Dark clouds and rain cast over the streets of the N109 as a young boy ran for his life. He stained the pavement as he tried to find somewhere to hide, somewhere to recover. His feet slipped in the water, shoes catching and tripping over themselves as his panic pushed him forward.

“Sylus,” the deep voice of the man chasing him called out. “You have nowhere to hide. What can a puppy without its pack do?”

Faster. Faster. Faster.I just need to get somewhere else, Sylus repeated in his mind.

One arm clutched his bruised ribs; the other pressed against the open wound along his shoulder, trying to hold on to any remaining warmth.

“Sylus, you still owe the debt your mother couldn’t finish paying,” the voice rumbled, echoing louder as the sound of a pistol cocking cut through the storm.

Sylus pushed himself harder, but the soaked asphalt betrayed him. His foot slid out from under him and he skidded across the ground. He scrambled to rise, but a large hand clamped around his ankle, yanking him backward, his knees and palms leaving a trail through the water.

“Got you,” the man said, a sinister smirk spreading across his face.

“I-I’m sorry! Please don’t kill me! I’ll do anything, please!” Sylus cried, tears disappearing into the rain that streamed down his cheeks.

“What can a sad little puppy like you do for me now?” the man asked as he lifted Sylus up by the collar. “You can’t even run away properly.”

He slid the cold barrel of the pistol down Sylus’s cheek. “I think you’d do us better dead.”

“Wait! Please!” Sylus choked out. “I-I’ll pay back her debt! I’m almost thirteen! I can work at the gas station, or a restaurant! I’ll earn it all back! I’ll take care of her debt myself!”

The man raised a brow amused. “You want to take on your mother’s debt?”

Sylus nodded frantically. “Yes! Yes- every cent! In… in 10 years!”

The man laughed, a sound so hard that it drowned out the storm itself.

“Just as foolish as your mother.” He dropped Sylus to the ground and patted his arms mockingly. “I’ll give you 15 and rewrite the debt in your name, Sylus Qin.”

He turned and walked away, his footsteps fading beneath the rain. “I’ll see you in three months for your first payment.”

And just like that, Sylus was left alone and broken on the streets of the N109.

Sylus crouched on the floor and hugged himself tightly as relief finally washed over him. His father had taken out a bad loan to start a business, but when a business deal turned sour, the barely started company went down with it. In the dead of the night, his father abandoned him and his mother, leaving them to carry the weight of his failed mistake. His mother tried to keep up with payments as much as she could, but when they couldn’t pay for two months straight, they took her away from him. 

****On that same day in Linkon****

“Dear, are you almost ready?” your mother’s voice echoed through the halls.

“Yes, ma’am! I’m just finishing up one of my afterschool assignments,” you called back from your desk.

Today was your mother’s award ceremony for developing a life saving drug. You hurried to finish the last few questions in your workbook when you heard loud footsteps pounding up the stairs.

“You know, you should’ve finished your assignments earlier… but I guess dumbbutts like you need all the time you can get” your younger brother leaned on your doorframe, dressed in a custom tailored suit. 

“Longer and harder assignments take more time… but I guess you wouldn't know what that’s like” you snapped back, closing your workbook as you walked towards the door.

“The last one down has to sit in between mom and dad!” you yelled before sprinting down the stairs. As you reached the main floor, your dad catched and spun you around.

“Woah there princess, you’re going to get hurt running around like that,” he laughed brightly.

“Don’t forget you begin additional clubs before your afterschool lessons next month,” your father gently reminded you as he clipped a bow in your hair.

“I won’t! I’ll do my best and be top of my class!” you exclaimed to him with a giant smile.

“Okay, I’ll be checking your progress in three months,” he said with a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

“We need to get going so that we aren’t late. Did you want to wear your Limmy Who flats?” your mother asked from the coat closet as she pulled out the black pair of designer shoes.

“Yes please! That way we’re both wearing Limmy Who shoes” you answered happily.

Your family quickly meets the driver outside and heads to the ceremony.

Your parents’ princess, your younger brother’s role model, and the heiress to your family’s conglomerate, less than perfect wasn’t an option for you. To be the smartest, funniest, kindest, prettiest, humblest, and the list went on and on. At 12 years-old, you already understood your future laid out for you. Your parents’ gave you everything you could wish for: money, education, and most of all, a warm and loving home. There really was nothing you could ever complain about. 

Sylus spent his 13th birthday begging the corner store manager for a job. You spent your 13th birthday surrounded by gifts and praise for your many talents. On his 18th birthday, he left the store to apprentice under a mechanic. On your 18th birthday, you decided to leave home and study abroad.

After his 22nd birthday, the shop owner fell ill and asked him to take it over. After your 22nd birthday, you returned home to work with your family. 

“Grandmother,” I had answered, “the sky means nothing if I cannot watch the clouds or stars with him. I could be adorned in the finest silks and gold, and I would still throw it all away just to-”

She cut me off sharply.

“To imagine a granddaughter of mine could stoop so low as to love a dead orphaned hei-” She stopped, coughed, then composed herself.

“An orphan what, Grandmother?” I demanded. “Why did you take him in if his status made him unworthy of my attention? Why allow me to grow and learn beside him if I was never meant to spare him a glance?”

She waved my words away. “It matters no longer. Caleb is gone. You cannot throw away your future for a ghost. You are nearly twenty-four. Choose between these four engagements. You have until the end of the season.”

********************************

A gentle knock pulls me from my thoughts. “Your Highness, are you ready for morning training?”

I rise from my vanity, adjust my training uniform, and take up my sword, the hilt decorated with a tassel matching the one I once gave Caleb.

Opening the door, I nod. “Thank you, Dame Tara. I was lost in thought.”

We walk together toward the newly built headquarters of the Royal Guard.

“Good morning, Vice-Captain,” voices call as I pass through the halls toward my office.

After Caleb’s death, I devoted every waking hour to training, quickly rising through the ranks, partly due to my status as princess, partly due to my success in leading campaigns during border disputes. Anything to feel close to him again.

“Vice-Captain,” Tara says, handing me a thick stack of documents, “this is the report regarding suspicious activity in the territory where the nation of Skyhaven once stood.”

I flip through the pages. “There seem to be far too many merchants traveling through a nation that supposedly dissolved after their failed invasion two years ago,” I scoff. “Inform Captain Jenna that we depart immediately for the border towns near the former Skyhaven. We may be gone a month or two.”

“Yes, Your Highness!” Tara says before hurrying off, leaving me alone in the office that used to be like Caleb’s second home.

I lift a small portrait of us, commissioned for my eighteenth birthday after months of pleading with my grandmother. We sit together in a field of wildflowers, smiling at a world that felt safe. I clutch the picture and whisper a promise to find the one responsible for the explosion that stole him from me.

If I had known, I would have kept him locked away… safe, hidden, protected. We could have run away to some distant island or quiet foreign village. I would give anything for one more chance to hold his hands.

I quickly gather what is needed for the expedition from my office, and make my way to the courtyard. I mount my horse and glance back at the home I once safely locked myself in, ignorant to the dangers that could so easily take what was mine.

“Let us depart. We travel east through nightfall and rest only when we reach the first border town,” I command, taking my place at the front.

The journey is long, but after a day and a half we near the border town of Starscape. Passing through the final stretch of forest, we stop at the sound of rustling to our right.

“Who goes there?” I call, sword raised.

Silence.

I dismount and move toward the disturbance, signaling my squad to remain behind with a raised fist.

“I said, who-”

A cloth suddenly yanks over my head.

BAM.

********************************

I awaken to a pounding migraine. My wrists and ankles are bound to a chair in a dark, empty room. Dazed, I try to assess where I am and how to escape.

I’ve been captured… but by whom?

The door creaks open behind me. Heavy footsteps approach and stop directly at my back.

“Who are you?” I coldly demand. “Why have you taken me? I am the Princess of the Great Linkon Empire. My abduction is an act of war.”

The silence stretches.

“I said, I am-”

“I know who you are,” a soft, familiar voice replies. “My princess.”

His voice breaks.

Tears sting my eyes. It can’t be. It is.

“Caleb…? Is it really you?”

He slowly unfastens my restraints and pulls me into his arms.

“It’s me. I’m back,” he whispers, holding me tightly.

His warmth. His scent. His presence. It is like coming home after wandering lost in the wilderness. He is real. Alive. My Caleb.

“How-” I step back, taking in his now dull amethyst eyes. “How are you here? Where have you been? What happened? Are you hurt? Are you safe?”

Questions tumble out, too many, too fast, my mind being muddled by this new dreamlike reality.

Mid-sentence, my knees buckle and I hold my head in a terrifying despair.. “Oh Astra,” I mutter aloud, “how long was I unconscious? Could malnourishment cause hallucinations this vivid? Or perhaps the head injury was severe enough?”

Caleb scoops me into his arms before I can fall further, forcing me to cling to him for balance.

“Did you just say ‘head injury,’ pipsqueak?” he asks softly, but there is a cold edge in his expression I do not recognize. How can a name that once made me feel adored now make me question him?

“Y-yes,” I answer carefully. “I was on a mission near the former Skyhaven border when something was thrown over my head. I must have been struck from behind.”

He chuckles, his face warm again but his grip on me tightening. “A special mission, hm? Looks like I’ve missed quite a few new evolvements in your life. Allow me to take you to a physician first, get that pretty little head checked out, and then we can have a meal to treat that ‘malnourishment’ you were blaming for my appearance.”

He readjusts his grip around me as we ascend from the dark room. 

I look around, trying to make sense of my surroundings, but nothing is familiar to me. The architecture is foreign, neither Linkonian nor from any nation I know. As we make our way out from the staircase into the main hall, I see a large banner with wings around a familial crest near the entrance.

Skyhaven.

Servants and soldiers bow as we pass. Caleb is respected here, perhaps more than he ever was in Linkon.

We continue our silent walk through the grand building, going up staircases and walking down halls, until he stops before a grand dark-oak door. Caleb bends to open it while still holding me, but I reach out.

“Caleb, are you certain we may enter? This chamber looks like it belongs to the master or—”

He cuts me off with a smile. “Oh, princess. We will need a long conversation once you’ve rested.”

He carries me inside a vast, dimly lit chamber, the room looks scarcely lived in.

“Is this your room?” I ask.

“It is,” he replies.

“And you truly reside here?”

“I truly live, sleep, and stay here,” he says with a soft laugh, laying me gently on his bed.

“I’ll return in a moment, pipsqueak.” His hand lifts toward my hair, hesitates, then withdraws. “I’m calling the physician.”

As he turns to leave, instinct moves me. I grab his hand.

“Please… don’t leave me alone again.”

He freezes, jaw clenching at the word again.

I jerk my hand back. “I-I apologize, Caleb. I don’t know what came over me. Please, go on.”

He gives a small, tender smile before exiting.

Alone, I lie in his bed, turning toward the window. The sheets carry the scent of apples touched with cinnamon, a scent I yearned for these past two years.

Tears slip quietly down my cheeks as reality settles in.

Before he could finish, Sir Gideon, a well decorated knight in the legion, came sprinting across the garden, breathless. I withdrew my hand as he skidded to a stop.

“Vice-Captain! We have an emergency!”

Caleb rose smoothly to his feet, jaw tightening. “Sir Gideon, what is the reason for such urgency?”

Gideon bowed to me first, flustered. “My apologies, Your Highness. I did not realize you and the vice-captain were already in counsel.” He swallowed hard and turned to Caleb. “I know you requested the afternoon off for personal matters, but… he has arrived.”

Caleb’s expression froze. “He? He who-” He stopped mid-sentence as understanding struck. “…Understood, Sir Gideon. Prepare the reception room. I will join you shortly.”

As Gideon hurried away, I tugged lightly at Caleb’s sleeve.

“Caleb, is everything all right? You promised to train with me today.”

His expression softened as he brushed a stray lock of hair behind my ear, his touch gentle but tinged with regret.

“Silly girl,” he whispered, though his eyes had grown sad. Holding my hands, he hesitated. “I must meet this official at once. Words cannot describe how deeply it pains me to disappoint you.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes playfully. “Vice-Captain Caleb, I cannot imagine you believe I would harbor resentment simply because your duties call.”

He frowned, not at my words, but at the formality slipping between us.

“My disappointment,” I continued more softly, “is only that we cannot share the afternoon as we once did when we were young.”

I turned to walk away, then tossed him a grin over my shoulder and stuck out my tongue. “See? ‘Decorum this, decorum that.’ It’s all right, Caleb, I understand. Now go do your princess proud and tend to your oh-so-righteous duties.”

But before I could fully turn, arms wrapped around me and pulled me back. I blinked, startled, into his warmth.

“Caleb…” My voice wavered as I gathered the courage to ask the question lingering for years. “What were you going to say earlier? When you knelt?”

He lowered his head until his breath brushed my ear.

“Before I answer that, Princess…” A long, heavy pause. “Are you going to accept the Crown Prince of the East’s proposal?”

I twisted around in shock. “N-no! You know I never accept courtships.. or proposals of any kind at that.”

My laugh came out nervous as I met his gaze. His expression remained stoic, yet I could hear his heart pounding as loud and fast as mine.

“For whom?” he whispered.

Our breaths fell into the same rhythm and for a moment, everything stilled.

Then Caleb exhaled sharply, raking a hand through his hair as he stepped away, placing his hands behind his head. “You see, for the answer to my question is the answer to yours.” His voice was soft, tinged with bittersweet truth. “However close we come to that line between us, we are both too cowardly, too bound by our roles, to cross it or walk away for good...”

He turned, flashing me a grin bright enough to warm the whole garden.

“But I promise you this, Princess. One day, I will be strong enough to take your hand openly and take that first step. And when I do, I will offer you the sun, the moon, the ocean- everything. For a love like yours…” He gently grabbed my hand. “…is one I would gladly lay my life for.”

Heat rushed to my cheeks at his almost confession.

As he walked toward the Royal Guard’s building, I cupped my hands and shouted after him:

“Sir Caleb! I’m holding you to that promise. For there is only one knight, one person, one man, who could ever have me!”

His shoulders shook with laughter. He raised his sword, letting the red and silver tassel I’d given him before his knightage exam shimmer in the sun.

I watched him go, letting myself imagine the future we might one day share. I was still smiling when my world split apart.

A thunderous blast erupted and my eyes snapped open.

“C–Caleb?”

Smoke and fire swallowed the Royal Guard’s building. Flames clawed through shattered stone.

Seventeen years of friendship, laughter, memories, of a love I had only just realized could be more, were consumed in a heartbeat.

The future I had dared to imagine turned to ash before my eyes.

I collapsed to my knees, unable to comprehend anything except the memory of his face.