so sorry i haven’t been super active, life has kind of been hectic and i’m not feeling the greatest when it comes to my mentality.
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@collinsisms
so sorry i haven’t been super active, life has kind of been hectic and i’m not feeling the greatest when it comes to my mentality.

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harry 📲 lily
HARRY: hey you. know it's been quite a while since we've talked, but I really hope you had an amazing birthday
HARRY: in LA right now, let me know if are too & you'd like to meet up sometime soon, but if not then I hope you're staying safe and having a good time wherever you are x
lily: hey, h. thank you so much for your text. I am, in fact, in LA. I’d love to celebrate 31 with you.
lily: anyway, I hope you’re well. I saw your recent magazine cover and might I say, you look fantastic. Fishnets really do suit you. x
collinsisms:
Lily’s eyes gazed down upon her phone screen and a soft grin flickered upon her red painted lips. She was happy that Harry wanted to meet with her and not head home straight away— God only knew how tonight was taking a toll on his energy. Thankfully, she and Harry would get to blow off steam together in one of the most physical of ways; bodies sliding together as one in an intimate relationship that they held as a secret. The outside world had no idea what the actress and singer’s friendship consisted of and they were very thankful that the both of them were able to keep things private.
Lily’s mind was brought back down to Earth as a knock was heard upon her door. Waiting there, stood Harry; handsome as always with a fresh hair cut, bejeweled fingers, and wild, emerald eyes that seemed to hold a hunger and longing for human connection. Messily, she gripped at his white button down and pulled him inside— luckily enough, there was no one around to see them. She’d no idea what to do except lean up and lock her lips with his, most likely leaving a lipstick stain in its wake. Her delicate hands wound in his soft, brunette hair and tugged; wanting a reaction from him that made the situation go along swiftly and heat up. Lily simply desired him; she didn’t want to wait any longer.
Harry was used to going through a lot of smoke and mirrors to maintain any kind of privacy whenever he had so much as a fling with someone, and Lily so far had been no exception. That’s why it was such a welcomed change that they were meeting on a spontaneous enough basis, at a late enough hour for none of that to be required. He’d missed her, emotionally because he was a self-admitted sap but also physically given the nature of their dynamic up to that point, having grown accustomed to letting carnality take over and that being their typical way of expressing affection or any kind of emotion.
The way they melded right into each other felt so natural, his guitar-calloused hands cupping her delicate face as he felt her pulling him into her space, leaning in to kiss her with just as much hunger and abandon, expressing zero concern for the way her rouge coated lips would stain him given the privacy they were in. “Y’look so fucking good….” He mused in appreciation during one of the brief moments their mouths were drawn far enough apart for him to speak, “What’re you so dressed up for?” He had to ask, his tone lighthearted and his kisses the same in contrast to the harsh way he gripped her waist to pull her taut up against him, letting her know her desire was more than mutual as he asked her about what her evening had looked like up to that point.
“You don’t look too bad yourself, Styles.” The actress hummed as their lips parted, her body flush against Harry’s in an embrace full of desire. “Oh, this old thing? I just wanted to go out with a friend, but the ones that reside here in London are already busy. I was going to get out of this little get up. . . and then you arrived.” She mused teasingly, letting her slender hands wander over his body. “I quite like your get up, it’s very casual, considering the situation you were in. How was the launch, by the way?” Lily added– as she was curious about the event in itself. Seeing her close friend grace the cover of Another Man was truly a sight to see and she was proud of how far he had come.
Lily looked over at the clock and noticed just how late it was, how the night had flown by in just a matter of minutes together. “We should get to bed, H. . .” The actress suggested, eyeing the hallway to her bedroom and then glancing back at Harry, beginning to undo his jacket and dress shirt slowly. She knew where this would go; his shirt, her dress, their underwear, and then. . . bodies intertwine. “I missed you, H. Missed being with you like this.”
Lily wasn’t lying when she said that, she really did miss being with Harry in such an emotional and physical way. Though neither of them had time to be fully committed in a romantic relationship, it felt as though they belonged to each other and no one else. They gave in to each other’s wants and needs, without any strings attached and that was how they kept it. . . yet, she swore that an underlying feeling of something more brewed between them.
📲 facetime w/ lily!
“ I can’t believe it. . . 31! My mom and I were just on the phone and she was telling me that it seemed as though everything has just passed us by. Mom’s super reminiscent today, as am I. Gosh, I’ve got no clue on how I’ll be able to celebrate with all of the social distancing going on, y’know? Anyway, thank you for calling me, you’re super sweet. ”
instagram ;
@/lilyjcollins.
‘ First selfie as a 31 year old. 30, you brought some highs and lows— those, I am thankful for. Here’s to adding a plus one and so many more adventures. . . ’

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collinsisms:
❛ little black dress. / lily & harry.
She had wanted to go out; a casual night in London would have done her well, especially after receiving a script for one of the most vulnerable roles she’d ever have to take on and pursue with real rawness, a feeling from the gut, something she could relate to.
However, that wasn’t the case. All made up in a little black dress, Lily was nursing a half empty glass of wine and an ill state of mind; relapse. Could she take on a role that dealt with an eating disorder? Could her body go through that again— and if it did, would there be painstaking consequences? The actress wasn’t sure what to do on that subject, but she was damn sure that dwelling on it would only further her poor mindset. She would have to distract herself… and drinking was not a good option. Thus, the question of who she could seek out sat in the front of her brain; Sam? No, he was probably asleep, as the time was horribly late and he insisted on an early bedtime routine. Jaime? Oh, God knows what she was doing! Probably out on the town with a few of her friends already. Harry? No— well, maybe. Lily knew that he was in London for his ‘Another Man’ launch and was probably at the after party by now— or even at home, if he was tired and didn’t want to be part of that scene for a long period of time.
iMessage to ‘Harry Styles’.
lily: need some company, thought you might be someone to seek out. let me know if you’re up and able. xo lils.
Harry’s night up to that point had been much tamer than he’d originally gone out expecting or really hoping for, and he’d already been scrolling through his own phone contacts while he and Glenn, the wife of his manager, were waiting for their Uber, the goal in mind being to find someone in the virtual address book that he could count on to save his evening. Cue Lily’s name and the preview of her text flashing across his screen like an act of divine timing, and immediately his interest was piqued. He tapped on it to open it and read it in full, smiling to himself as accepted the booty call nature of her words and typed a quick response.
iMessage to ‘Lily Collins’.
harry: I’m actually just leaving this club. so happens that I could use some company too
harry: see you soon x
Her text had seemed like enough of an invitation to him that he didn’t feel like he was being presumptuous with his reponse, and after climbing into the vehicle, within the safe confines provided by the dark tinted windows he told his ‘handler’ for the night that he wouldn’t be heading home after all. She was hardly phased surprised, as it was typical of Harry to prefer not to sleep alone, and without looking up from her phone told him to give the driver his own instructions first then. So he gave them his address and sat back in his seat, feeling the liquid confidence surging through him thanks to the just-right number of drinks he’d had the party as he anticipated seeing Lily for the first time in what felt like too long. They’d both been so busy, her with her promo schedules and him with preparation for his own impending press run for his very first solo album, tonight’s magazine launch being the catalyst of it; there’d been no chance to connect properly, and he was grateful they’d just so happened to both be in the city tonight, that she’d chosen to message him. - It wasn’t long before he found himself at her door. all clean-cut (literally, given the new hair he was sporting) in his appearance from head to do, offset by wild eyes as he met her gaze.
Lily’s eyes gazed down upon her phone screen and a soft grin flickered upon her red painted lips. She was happy that Harry wanted to meet with her and not head home straight away— God only knew how tonight was taking a toll on his energy. Thankfully, she and Harry would get to blow off steam together in one of the most physical of ways; bodies sliding together as one in an intimate relationship that they held as a secret. The outside world had no idea what the actress and singer’s friendship consisted of and they were very thankful that the both of them were able to keep things private.
Lily’s mind was brought back down to Earth as a knock was heard upon her door. Waiting there, stood Harry; handsome as always with a fresh hair cut, bejeweled fingers, and wild, emerald eyes that seemed to hold a hunger and longing for human connection. Messily, she gripped at his white button down and pulled him inside— luckily enough, there was no one around to see them. She’d no idea what to do except lean up and lock her lips with his, most likely leaving a lipstick stain in its wake. Her delicate hands wound in his soft, brunette hair and tugged; wanting a reaction from him that made the situation go along swiftly and heat up. Lily simply desired him; she didn’t want to wait any longer.
louis: idk if that’s a good thing or a curse. i’d probably choke if deep was my middle name but . . . what do i know
louis: it’s going, just kinda like vibing in the privacy of my own home like everyone unfortunately else. i’m just annoyed this year was supposed to be like MY year but it doesn’t feel like it anymore lmao. how’re you holding up ?
lily: louis, it IS your year! come on, now. don’t give up! you have to take one day at a time. trust me, i know it’s difficult. you’ve had a rough last year and not everything will go to plan.
lily: i’m well, to be completely honest! just recently finished filming a movie, so i’m relaxing for a bit.
Lily Collins attends the 2019 Met Gala Celebrating Camp: Notes on Fashion (May 6, 2019)
❛ little black dress. / lily & harry.
She had wanted to go out; a casual night in London would have done her well, especially after receiving a script for one of the most vulnerable roles she’d ever have to take on and pursue with real rawness, a feeling from the gut, something she could relate to.
However, that wasn’t the case. All made up in a little black dress, Lily was nursing a half empty glass of wine and an ill state of mind; relapse. Could she take on a role that dealt with an eating disorder? Could her body go through that again— and if it did, would there be painstaking consequences? The actress wasn’t sure what to do on that subject, but she was damn sure that dwelling on it would only further her poor mindset. She would have to distract herself. . . and drinking was not a good option. Thus, the question of who she could seek out sat in the front of her brain; Sam? No, he was probably asleep, as the time was horribly late and he insisted on an early bedtime routine. Jaime? Oh, God knows what she was doing! Probably out on the town with a few of her friends already. Harry? No— well, maybe. Lily knew that he was in London for his ‘Another Man’ launch and was probably at the after party by now— or even at home, if he was tired and didn’t want to be part of that scene for a long period of time.
iMessage to ‘Harry Styles’.
lily: need some company, thought you might be someone to seek out. let me know if you’re up and able. xo lils.
“I felt happy. A simple, pure happiness, the trivial ecstasy that does not trouble the senses but that spirits away the frontiers between body and soul–a transparent intoxication consisting of perfumes, smiles, and the promise of love.”
— Nikos Kazantzakis, tr. by Richard Howard, from “The Rock Garden,”

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collinsisms:
lily: aww! what’s your dog’s name?
lily: you just dropped an album? i’ll have to take a listen! i need to catch up on my album listening— i haven’t listened to niall horan’s new album yet & i haven’t finished listening to louis tomlinson’s new album either!
Justin: Good, just dropped a new album.
lily: aww! what’s your dog’s name?
lily: you just dropped an album? i’ll have to take a listen! i need to catch up on my album listening— i haven’t listened to niall horan’s new album yet & i haven’t finished listening to louis tomlinson’s new album either!
Justin: His name is Oscar
Justin: I did just recently actually. You should.
lily: oscar, what a cute name! what breed is he? i’m sure redford would love to meet him.
lily: promise, i’ll take a listen! right after louis and niall’s.
instagram ;
@/lilyjcollins.
‘ My munchkin.. Redford, you always have my heart and my kisses.’
ପ imessage ; open.
lily: i love having redford around, he’s such an adorable pup! 🥺
lily: but. . . he likes to get in to my heels! just yesterday, he was chewing on an old pair i wore to the golden globes!
lily: anyway, tell me how you’ve been! anything new and exciting happening in your world?
Justin: Oh I know I love having my dog around.
Justin: Uh oh!
Justin: Good, just dropped a new album.
lily: aww! what’s your dog’s name?
lily: you just dropped an album? i’ll have to take a listen! i need to catch up on my album listening— i haven’t listened to niall horan’s new album yet & i haven’t finished listening to louis tomlinson’s new album either!
You did so well, I’m so proud of you, baby. My good little kitten.
louis: this was much deeper than any response i've gotten, i won't lie ...
louis: it confused me a bit, but i think i got it at the end hahaha.
louis: it's SOMETHING helpful on all of this "self reflecting" sort of thing.
lily: well, ‘ deep ’ is my middle name! i think this kind of thing deserves to delve in to more. . . perhaps, uncomfortable depths?
lily: how is it going? the whole reflecting situation? talk to me about it.

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collinsisms:
lily: you’re not speaking to your wife due to vintage gucci shoes? shame.
lily: ah, the social distancing sucks. have you tried to talk to your wife about it? maybe. . make it up to her somehow?
luke : lmao no no , i meant oscar . the dog . he’s slept in his own bed for two days straight bc he knows i’m bitter . luke : i’m a dumbass but not dumb enough to start fights with my girl like that , she’d kick my ass so fast :///
luke : lmao no no , i meant oscar . the dog . he’s slept in his own bed for two days straight bc he knows i’m bitter .
luke : i’m a dumbass but not dumb enough to start fights with my girl like that , she’d kick my ass so fast :///
lily: . . . is it bad that i let out the most horrible laugh ever?
lily: she probably would! she is quite tall and if she’s in a pair of gucci heels. . . there’s no telling what she’d do!
ପ imessage ; open.
lily: i love having redford around, he’s such an adorable pup! 🥺
lily: but… he likes to get in to my heels! just yesterday, he was chewing on an old pair i wore to the golden globes!
lily: anyway, tell me how you’ve been! anything new and exciting happening in your world?
bella: i never really understood why dogs like chewing on shoes so much is there some kind of scientific reasoning behind that?
bella: id always triple check that your closet door is closed!
bella: im fabulous! you know, working hard, playing hard. the usual. how are you?
lily: girl, do i look like a veterinarian? no clue why dogs like to chew on shoes! it’s a teething thing, most likely.
lily: oh, i’ve triple checked! redford won’t be going near mommy’s things anytime soon. he has his toys and little munchies i bought him— so he should be able to handle himself.