Collin Me Maybe

Then we hit about 45 minutes in. We ran out of small talk and jokes, and things got serious.

We, like what usually happens in situations like this, told him he was a hero. Seeing how he dealt with 6 tours, being away from his girlfriend, and missing out on his normal luxuries really opened our eyes. The biggest issue we were currently facing was the quickly depleting last container of salsa, and he was fighting in a war. As if anything else could make you feel like a bigger ass hole. 

The conversation stayed like that for a while, shifting to him talking about his gun, his assignment, and the terror he faces every day. And I don't mean terrorism-type terror. I mean truly horrible things that no one should ever face. And that's when he earned every ounce of my respect I could muster up at that given moment.

The small talk eventually commenced once again, and then the responses got slim. We noticed that he had stepped away for a moment. He came back, and we noticed something very important.

Jeff got a phone call.

He smiled, then looked shocked, and smiled again. He typed "Hey guys guess what" before returning to his phone call. His fists pumped. He smiled more. He didn't say a word to us for a while.

Then he told us he's coming home in a few hours. 

His life was instantly turned around right in front of our eyes. His tour that was meant to last another two months was shortened to a few hours due to him being there, no breaks, for two years. His smile didn't fade once as he asked us what had changed since he's been gone; all of the cool things he gets to come home to when he returns. His mind was blown by a Broncos - Seahawks Super Bowl, Doritios Locos Tacos, and McDoubles with bacon on them. 

He couldn't fathom what to say first. He talked about how excited he was to see that girlfriend and fast food he thought was so far away 120 minutes before. He hurriedly packed up his personal belongings (The Kite Runner, Street Fighter for Super Nintendo, a teddy bear, etc.) and got ready to leave in his USC hat and shirt. We exchanged Playstation Network user names, and plan on playing Grand Theft Auto together by week's end. He told us that he would remember us, mainly for the sake that we were there when he realized he was finally coming home.

I never lived through a war that directly affected me in my adult life. Don't get me wrong, the war on terror crosses my mind sometimes and I remember 9/11. However, except for a cousin who served years ago, the effects of this war never came into my personal life. I went to school the same way, I ate food the same way, and I made the stupid choices of a teenager in the same way. Tonight I shared a moment which will change the way I walk to class, eat, and make dumb decisions. I will do them with an open mind. Not necessarily for why people are fighting this war, but for what those who have no other option have to deal with on top of it all.

Meanwhile, at University of Wisconsin-Madison, A quarterback named Russell Wilson was breaking school records (with 33 passing TD's) and also an FBS record (for his 191.8 passing efficiency rating) in his first season there after transferring from NC State. This being said, Wilson was still a college player with an underrated draft stock entering the 2012 season. As was the case with Manning, his future in the NFL was, at this point, undetermined.

The future of Manning and Wilson were not the only uncertain things in the 2011 season, though. Let's take a look now at the success of both the Broncos and Seahawks. The Broncos, at an ever-so-flashy 8-8, barely scooted into the playoffs only to be embarrassed by the Patriots in the second round. The Seahawks, at 7-9, weren't even so lucky to appear in the playoffs. 

In the 10 seasons leading up to 2012 (2002-2011), where the Broncos and Seahawks both snatched up their new star quarterbacks, the two teams' overall combined record is 167-153, with a combined 9 playoff appearances, one of which was the Seahawks Super Bowl 40 push that was ended by the Steelers. Not bad when it's broken down like that; both teams had winning records and a handful of very successful seasons. However, the last 5 seasons leading up to 2012 (2007-2011) was significantly worse. Both teams combined for a record of 68-92, with only 3 playoff appearance and only one winning season. That's right; in five years the Broncos and Seahawks combined for only one season with a record better than 8-8. That's where the shock value starts. 

Then we hit 2012. Manning and Wilson enter their respective teams, and the impacts are unimaginable. Both teams have 10+ win seasons and both teams will make the playoffs. They will both be eliminated in the divisional round, but these seasons are both extraordinary improvements. The 2011, 8-8 Broncos with the #31 offense in the league turn into the 2012, 13-3 Broncos with the #2 offense in the league and the best record in the AFC. The 2011, 7-9 Seahawks with the #22 offense turn into the 2012, 11-5 Seahawks with the #9 offense in the league. Numbers don't lie. And if you need a stronger representation, both teams finished the 2013 season with 13-3 records (the highest in both of their respective conferences) and both in the top 10 in offense once again. 

So a recap of the turn around is this: in the course of three seasons, the Broncos and the Seahawks both managed to elevate from average teams in sub-par divisions to be the two, no-holds-barred powerhouses in the NFL. Two quarterbacks had huge career shakeups that have somehow resulted in them being thrusted into the biggest stage of them all. Don't even get me started on Russell Wilson only taking two seasons in the NFL to win a conference championship; and definitely don't get me started on Peyton "I may as well break every passing record ever" Manning's instant Hall of Fame-clinching season. 

The house didn’t have anyone to live inside of it. It was unwanted for a long time, which spawned the rumor that someone got killed in it. I know it’s only a rumor because I started it when word got out that there may be a new place to “pop brewskis” or whatever the fuck stupid thing the cool kids would say. No one died in it, the couple just moved out to get a bigger house. A for-sale sign went up, and there were never any takers. The sign stayed, but the furniture and cars left, the flowers died, and the grass grew too long. The paint of no particular color peeled away, and a baseball broke one of the windows. The house was forgotten.

So enter me, your average angsty teen who wants to cause the sort of shenanigans that don’t make you seem any cooler and can’t possibly get you in any trouble. I discovered this house because I followed the North Star of suburbia that was those trees. My goal, however, was to find the source of the trees; not a Bob Marley t-shirt and kids with braces that wear guy-liner and black skinny jeans. I found them, in a huge backyard hidden by a tall wooden fence. So, naturally, I jumped over the fence and found the most enormous trees I’ve ever seen. All I could think about was how something so beautiful happened all by itself. A person didn’t create this I thought. It just sort of happened.

The yard that housed these trees had a big and beautiful deck that faced towards them. This became my own personal sanctuary. I set up chairs and replanted some of the flowers. I cut the grass and hid the sign so no one would think it was empty anymore. I would come up with excuses to leave my house just to go to this back porch. It became such an important part of my life that I associated it with all of my game-changing moments. Me and my friends smoked pot there for the first time together, and we decided that smoking pot really sucks too on the same porch. I kissed my future wife for the first time there when we were both 16. I found out I got into Yale there, and then I decided that Yale, like smoking pot, also really sucks. This back porch and small assortment of gargantuan trees became my life.

I went there for the first time in probably 12 years, just to see how things have been. I honestly was able to get there from muscle memory without even needing to look up for the trees. When I arrived, I had to double take. The grass was freshly cut, the house had fresh red paint on it, and someone had paved a sidewalk over where my flowers were. I wouldn’t have recognized it without the neighbor’s houses. The fence in the back was gone, and a pool sat in the middle. The deck was torn out and the trees were chopped down.

I sat down on the concrete edge of these strangers’ pool, baffled by the change, and cried.

I lost my entire young adult life that day. The pot, the Yale, the first kisses. Everything instantly fell out of my head like a bucket of water being turned upside down.

I cried in the car as I drove two towns over. I cried inside of a Home Depot as I waded through the plants section. I cried in the car on the way back to that red house. I cried as I got two tree saplings out of my trunk, and I cried as I realized how much dirt you get in your trunk when transporting partially grown trees. I cried as I explained to the homeowners why they need to take the trees and plant them. I sobbed and drooled when they agreed.

“This town really doesn’t have that many trees. You have a great point.”

Sometimes a strange thing happens where you suddenly lose a place you thought had become your own. It could be your childhood home, a place you used to work, or an old friend’s house. It could even be an abandoned backyard by a McDonald’s. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, whoever takes that place away from you will be nice enough to let you plant trees just because you cried in their pool. And if you ever worry that you can’t gain that place back, be glad that you had places to move on to. Eventually, everyone needs to leave the back porch and the trees behind to go inside the house.

SAM:              Well thank goodness we have our whole lives ahead of us to get to know each other, then.

LUCAS:          (Pause) Sam, I wanted to talk to you about the other night.

SAM:              Oh wasn’t it amazing!? I’ve been swimming in an ocean of wonderful.

LUCAS:          Yeah, right. Well I wanted to talk about it, because even though it was fun-

SAM:              (Perking up) Oh! That reminds me! (Grabbing the box and handing it to LUCAS.) Here, I got you a present.

LUCAS:          (Faking surprise, like when you get a birthday present that you really don’t want.) Oh a present? For what?

SAM:              You’re so cute when you act silly! It’s for our three day anniversary, Lukey.

LUCAS:          Oh. Well that’s…sweet. You really shouldn’t have.

SAM:              I should have. Because I love you.

LUCAS:          Ok, wow. Sam, I really need to talk to you. (Puts down the gift.)

SAM:              What’s wrong? Are you upset that you didn’t get me a gift too? That’s ok darling. You can just take me out to dinner.

LUCAS:          No, that’s not it. I just…I feel like things have moved really fast, and Friday night was really nice. I’m just not looking for a girlfriend right now.

SAM:              (Pause, then begins looking excited) Are you doing what I think you’re doing?

LUCAS:          …What do you think I’m doing? Because you should not be reacting like this.

SAM:              I mean, I know this is fast and that we just met. But screw it, yes Lucas! Yes! I will marry you! (Hugs him. LUCAS is as confused as he’s ever been.)

LUCAS:          (Now irritated and pushing her off) How the Hell did you take that as a proposal?

SAM:              (Startled) Because you said you didn’t want a girlfriend. So that must mean that you want a wife!

TAMARA:     (Stands up and goes over to them) Oh my God, you idiot! He’s breaking up with you! You treat me like a child and tell me what to do, and even I can understand what he’s doing! You are just making this so much more painful than it has to be. You really bought him a THREE DAY ANNIVERSARY GIFT!? You aren’t in first grade anymore! Act your age you numb skull! (Returns to her spot and sits back down. LUCAS and SAM both look at her for a moment, astonished.)

SAM:              (Looks back at LUCAS) You’re...you’re breaking up with me?

LUCAS:          We were never even together!

SAM:              We most certainly were! We spent all of Friday night with each other!

LUCAS:          (Pause and sighs heavily) Yes. We physically were with each other Sam. I’m saying we were never a couple. This was just about sex. I just went out on Friday night looking for sex.

SAM:              So I’m just…I’m just your play thing?

LUCAS:          As opposed to what? My dream girl?

SAM:              But on Friday night you said we were meant for each other.

TAMARA:     (Scoffs) Wow, that’s original. (SAM and LUCAS both glare at her once again.)

LUCAS:          It’s nothing you did. It’s just…me. (Winces at realizing how cliché he sounds.)

TAMARA:     (Stands up and walks toward them while performing the sarcastic slow clap.) Bravo. Truly, a good performance on your part. Even I, the naïve fourth grader, have heard better excuses than that.

LUCAS:          (To SAM) Who is she?

SAM:              I’m babysitting her.

LUCAS:          You brought the child your babysitting to visit your random post-bar hookup at the park?

SAM:              What’s wrong with that?

TAMARA:     (Very confused) Now I know that I am smart for my age, but what’s a hookup?

SAM:              Well it’s when two strangers meet and they have se-

LUCAS:          Are you being serious right now!? You are about to explain hooking up to a toddler!?

TAMARA:     I am not a toddler!

LUCAS:          Fine! Old…toddler. Whatever. Look, Sam this wasn’t ever anything more than a random Friday night sex-capade. I was trying to be nice, but you just make it impossible.

SAM:              (Sniffling) I…I understand.

LUCAS:          Ok.

SAM:              (Pause. Lifts up box) I still want you to have the gift though.

LUCAS:          I am still in awe that you honestly bought me a gift after knowing me for 72 hours.

SAM:              I know. I’m a catch. (Sniffles again and hands it to him. She then looks as if she has something to say, but instead grabs TAMARA’s hand and leads her off stage left.)

TAMARA:     (Exiting stage) If anyone is getting assisted in normal daily functions like walking, it’s going to be you, Sam.

LUCAS:          (Opens up the box and reaches inside. He makes a disgusted face as he pulls out cooked spaghetti with sauce on it. It is most likely cold.) What the Hell is wrong with this girl? (He continues digging and finds a saucey and greasy slip of paper. He reads it aloud.) “On Friday night I had spaghetti for diner. (Stops to think, and then nods when he realizes she misspelled “dinner”. He continues reading.) I had no idea that it would be my last meal I ate alone, wondering what it would be like to be in love. I love you, Lukey pookie. XOXO Sam.”

(LUCAS stares down at the letter as the lights fade to black. End Scene.)