My College Journey

Maybe the end of CAPE has me nostalgic. Thinking about all those nights spent studying, making study notes, writing out every possible thing I could with the faint hope that I could muster all my best. Maybe it happened, maybe it didn't, but I'd like to tell a story.

In form 4, I never thought I would be telling this story to you. I started off, ambitious (Doing 10 subjects) and excited to start this new journey to CSEC. I always remembered I dropped Biology because I hated it, and didn't look in the direction of business subjects, one of the decisions I slightly regret.

Advanced Subsidiary Mathematics, what is now known as Additional Mathematics, was one of "those" subjects. It started off excellently, I grasped concepts quickly, and all was fine.  However, eventually I began understanding less and less. It just didn't make sense to me after a while, and my grades accurately reflected this. I always thought when I tried to study it, "Why isn't this making sense? Why is it that my thought pattern refuses to follow the required one, why would I always go off course?"

I had friends who tried to help me, joined and left a few lessons classes, and although it temporarily helped, it genuinely didn't make sense to me. I was essentially a robot, regurgitating what I was taught. Then it happened.

33.

A mark I would never forget. 33% was my score in A.S. Math in second term form 4. It was my low point. It was exactly what I never wanted, but what happened. I was dispondent, horrified and demotivated to continue.

That was when I made the decision to turn this around. I was not going to let Add Math beat me. My teacher worked tirelessly with me, entertaining all my questions (regardless of how foolish they were) and I grew. Maybe not in time for Cambridge A.S. Math exams though, where I got a D. My growth didn't stop though. I continued through CAPE, persisting, understanding concepts and putting in the required work, to the point where I began to love Math. Math seemed beautiful to me, I could see the beauty in a solution, the intricate thought process behind arriving at a method or a solution, and it all became a grand a wondrous world to me. A world made from a subject that once almost defeated me.

Needless to say I achieved Grade 1s in both Unit 1 and Unit 2.

Those of you considering a Gap Year, I have a story to tell you.

My original intention was to take a gap year. After studying for 14 years consecutively, it seemed like the only logical thing to do. It was basically decided that I'd take a year off, do my SATs, and apply for universities.

There's another part to this as well. My father, specifically, didn't want this to happen. He believed that it would slow me down, put me at a disadvantage, as I wouldn't be continuing with the momentum I had before. He believed that this wasn't a smart idea at all, and while he'd support whatever decision I made, this just wasn't the one he prefered.

Ever since I was a child, I wanted to be a pilot. Then somewhere along Standard 4 (age 10), it hit me that this wasn't a very possible dream, with the high costs of flight school and so on, and hence I went searching for a new passion. Note I say new passion. I was a very diverse child, a lot of things intrigued me, but I had no set passion, and in hindsight, being a pilot was really just one of those. The world always seemed like such a big place to explore, and logically (at that point to me) being a pilot was the only win-win way to do so.

My dad pushed for me to become a chemical engineer, but I knew that wasn't what I wanted to do, and he respected that. I briefly looked into Civil Engineering, and at one point it became the criteria which I used when I looked at schools in Form 3 and 4 (14-15y/o). I became, once again, disenchanted with it, because I discovered I hated Physics (I could do the subject, I understand it, it's just not my thing).

It was there I realized the one common theme of my life so far: Technology. I've always been interested in this, and it became my chosen path. I applied to all my colleges as either a Computer Science or Computer Engineering major.

And yet, part of me remains unsure.

This is the advantage you have. You have an entire year, free of academic bias, on your own, to decide what your next step would be. I simply followed into what I liked, and it may very well turn out to be what I always wanted to do, but it's difficult, and sometimes scary knowing that you're going into this without 100% certainty.

You have the opportunity to increase your certainty, to get proper advice and even to explore your interests. You have time. Take full advantage of this. Don't perceive it as a year of uncertainty, perceive it as a year of understanding exactly what you want to do and why you want to do it.

Use your year wisely, to diversify yourself, or perfect a skill you already have. Yes, those starting immediately may have a headstart in academia, but you have a headstart in life. You'll be spending less time finding yourself and worrying in college and more time focused on your goals.

This isn't a negative. As I saw somewhere a while back, and I'm paraphrasing: "I've always heard people complain of not taking a gap year, but never the other way around"

Make the most of it.

Funny, really how things happen.

The past few weeks have been going by so quickly, now it's just under 5 weeks until the "Big Move". The past month has been somewhat lifechanging for me, and I frankly don't know what to say about it. I'm just letting it happen, as it should.

Continuing to the more objective side of this post, I got my student visa (yay!), but it had a typo on it. So I sent it to have it fixed, only to have the embassy cancel my regular tourist visa in the process. Even worse, I now have to "reapply" for it. "Reapply" hopefully meaning I don't have to get interviewed, just fill out the form. It's beyond the highest level of incompetence in public service, and I'm truly disappointed. If I'd know I would have this much trouble, I probably would have ignored them telling me to come in and left the error as is.

Vaccinations are, as usual, a part of this process, and that alone was another run-around. I went to the local health centre, only to be told I need to be tested. When I returned to be tested, I was told that the nurses had misread the form, and that they weren't tests, but in fact, shots. Upon returning to the health centre, the nurse there explained quite nicely that they were correct, and the people at my personal doctor's office, had misread the form. 

Morals of this story:

1) Time will go by quickly, hold on to your friendships, and recognize when to let go.

2) Get your student visa done early! I'm glad I started so early, My interview was on the 1st of July, and here I am on the 21st still rectifying errors. Not saying this would happen to you, but better be safe than sorry

3) Get your vaccinations done ASAP as well. You never know what shots you're missing, and your timing to get them. If you haven't received information from your university about this, get it, it's a standard requirement.

My recent hiatus has been the fault of CAPE (Caribbean Advanced Proficiency Examinations), or what I like to call, the international struggle.

Particularly in the Caribbean here, we have about 40 days of examinations (mine were 39). Not every consecutive day may be an exam for every single person, but it is a rather long, stressful and drawn out period for examinations, one I'm so glad to be finally over with.

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Since I've committed, the international struggle becomes more apparent, as we have to attain the relevant documents for study, i.e., forms and visas. Not a very stressful process, but again, another long process.

Coming from the Caribbean as well, I've been stocking up on possible winter/boston weather clothing. Temperatures below 22C or higher than 36C are not known to me, so I have to get winter clothing or extra light clothing as the case may be. My aunt in MA has been more than generous in receiving my millions of ordered items. I feel like I'm making a new life, you know?

Finally, there are the pending goodbyes. The fact that I'll be moving more than 4000 miles away is having a profound impact on my family and friends, one I don't want to see the climax of on the morning of my departure.

I've been a bit out of it recently. With exams approaching, deposit deadlines due, filing my forms (yay international student process), its just been hard to keep track of everything. I'm actually writing this from my phone, so I can C&P it when I get internet back (yes my internet's now at snail's pace)

Anyway, in my recent ploughing through college groups, I've come across a term that very aptly describes how I feel. That complacent feely-feel. The "i-dont-need-this-anymore" feel. The "this-needs-to-be-over" feel.

Senioritis.

I've come to aptly identify with this feeling.

Considering the terms of my acceptance, its hard not to. My main motivation for doing CAPE (or A levels, which is basically 2 years of advanced/college level schooling after you finish Form 5/Grade 12 at 17y/o) was for a National Scholarship, and in the space of 2 months, that changed from a necessity to something that would be nice to have to ease expenses. Life is amazing.

So here I am procrastinating on doing my Applied Math diagrams, finishing my Physics Labs, fixing my Caribbean Studies IA and studying for my Caribbean Studies Exam. +1 for me!

Seriously speaking, however, I believe you should find your motivation for senior year/final year. There is a reason you started everything, and did everything you did, and only part of that reason has been achieved, i.e., university acceptance. You didn't start extra classes or difficult courses to fail them, or not do as well as you ought to. You did them to achieve more and push your limits.By pushing yourself you have impressed universities. Alternately, by trying to impress universities you have involuntarily impressed yourself and surpassed your limits.

Don't stop now, it will be over soon.

No not that one. The one that you did that for.

That's right. College decisions!

Now, after going through this beautifully horrendous process, you've found out what colleges have accepted you, and you now have a decision to make. Some may find this easy, using the usual determining factors

Money

Location

Offers Major

Feel

Money is certainly a determining factor, and it's always worth trying to bargin with your colleges, especially if you've been given a scholarship. If all else fails, there are always independent grants and scholarships you can compete for. I'm personally trying to stay away from loans in general, but if unavoidable and manageable, then it can be a consideration.

But your last consideration. 

please.

Location location location. For me this was a big one. I fell so in love with the city of Boston that I applied to 3 universities there. I made mention during an interview with another university that I made a mistake applying to a very prestigious school that was pretty much out of city. He agreed with me, because location has a factor in your happiness, and if you're gonna be spending 4 or more years at your university, you should be happy. (Only makes sense, right?)

Another count is if the university offers your major. Personally, if I university has a major in the ball park of your intended major, I'd say go for it, but do your research. Sometimes majors are just a difference in name, and not necessarily content. Maybe a slight difference in focus, but same job position. Take these into consideration, and have dialogue with your university over the matter if it concerns you that much.

And finally, feel. I know it may sound weird, but there is that click you get when you visit a university. You know when you like it, and usually nothing can change that. Similarly, it happens when you don't like a university.

I didn't believe this. When I did my university visits, I was trying to mold into the expectations of others for me. However, there is always that click, something that makes you love a university over any other, and ultimately, this may be the place you'd be happiest at.

This post was basically born of me sending my official replies to the other universities that accepted me, declining their offers of admission, and I'm pretty much sealed into the place that offers my major, the place that's in my favourite city, but ultimately the place that just felt right.

My stars aligned, and yours will, don't worry.

A Facebook Cover Photo for any of the NUadmits :D

Why not tumblog? :D

The past few days have been very very confusing, in both good and bad ways.

Last weekend I got to go on my University Scholars Trip to Northeastern, a trip that basically solidified my love for the school. It just seems so great. I'm really scared of how I'll fit in though. That and money. I needs moneh. (life of a college student, right?)

The campus was freezing cold, but amazingly beautiful. And so huge. The school seems amazing, in every aspect, I keep referring to it as the "hidden gem" because I think it really is one.

Pay no mind to these shots, I bought a dslr hybrid like 20 minutes before I arrived on campus, so these were all basically test shots with my hand frozen around the camera grip. Mind you, I'd just landed a few hours before.

Then there was the welcome dinner that evening, which was pretty cool, we got to speak to some faculty and whatnot, and eat :D

And then we had to say goodbye :(

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EDIT:  While here, at this event, I met some amazing people. From my hosts, to my room-mates to people who were legit there to have fun and take-in the school. These people, all the super excited scholars who already attend NU, the random people who came up and spoke to me during breakfast, to those who answered questions willingly, through my (apparently difficult to understand) accent, all made this experience a wonderful one, and I think it's people like you, I daresay people like us that would put NEU even further more on the map, because it's an amazing school, with amazing students, and I'm really sorry amazing is the only vocabulary word that's coming to mind but it's really how in awe I am at how mind-blowingly, unexpectedly great the experience was.

Thank you, every single one of you, and I hope I have the same impact on the scholars next year when I come (hopefully).

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That's when the real action started in my life though.

Upon my return, life saw it fit to bestow me with [insert unknown virus name here], something I probably picked up from the rampant, careless sneezing that my fellow patrons seemed to practice. Dodging macroscopic dodgeballs - not a game easily won.

So here I am, several sine waves of temperature fluctuations, a few heartfelt tears and now, just with sheer annoyance at this (and an itching throat/aching body), waiting to go to the doctor tomorrow. I have a Pure Math IA on Tuesday, so I hope I'll be well enough to write it then.

Revision mode on.

It's only fitting that I start this blog with this post.

You sit and you wait for it to happen. You obsess about it, from the days predating your application season. It's the perfect place for you. Your application season arrives, and you begin your essays enthusiastically, making sure they're perfect.

You proof read them.

Mom and Dad proof reads them.

Your English Teacher proof reads them.

Your enthusiastic but clueless dog proof reads them.

They're perfect! or maybe they could be better, but you submit none the less, knowing that it reflects you. And the wait begins.

The errors you made seem to come at you in random sporadic moments and thoughts. A missed punctuation mark, a misspelt word, something you did that you left out. You panic, you contact the admission office in hope they'd hear your panicked plea for a correction/addition.

School goes on, but it's really hard to focus (or generally, it's hard to focus, with or without school for the gap year-ers). This is the school. You applied to a whole lot of other perfectly good schools, but this is the one you wanted to go to. You only hope that feeling is mutual. And then decision day arrives.

No matter what happens when you check your decision, please realize the following. Life goes on. It did without the school, and it will with or without the school. If you got in, great! If you didn't, I know how you feel, but please understand this. Don't sell other schools short because of the decision from your dream school.

If you're an admit, I still implore you to look at your other decisions/applications, and remember why you chose to apply there. Think carefully before making a decision. ( and celebrate! :D )

If you're not admitted, this isn't the end of the world. Please don't sell yourself short, but at the same time, don't bypass other great opportunities you have, all because one didn't happen. I know the pain you feel, as though you weren't good enough, but believe me, you are, and don't let any college tell you otherwise. They aren't worth your tears or sadness, and it's not a matter of me saying "F*** You" to them, but it's a matter of understanding that your world continues to go on, whether or not it happens.

As for those considering a gap year, that would have to be another post.

But the general conclusion here is, life goes on, and the sooner you realize that, the easier it would become to get over the unimaginable pain/happiness you feel.