College Cupcakes

• Psalm 46:5 •

Thanksgiving

I keep noticing how all of my friends have that one friend that they’re closest with. That one friend that is their one true friend, whether it’s just for convenience or for a lifetime of love and care for each other, regardless of what happens in their individual lives. And I can’t help but notice the void that I have in my life because I don’t have a friend like that. And I can’t help but notice how much it hurts. Nobody ever really wants to exclusively hang out with me unless it’s one of those forced have-to-get-lunch-with-you-because-our-small-group-leaders-told-us-to things. Or convenience. And I always hear all of these amazing stories of friends who are always interacting and spending time with each other, but even in college I’m still the person who doesn’t go out much. I feel sorry for my roommate because I’m basically always in the dorm room, but I have nowhere else to go except for the library. But then I don’t have the comfort of stretching out on my bed. I absolutely hate Friday nights because it’s always reinforced that later on at night, when I don’t have anywhere to be, I have no one who is willing to be with me. I crave for the close connection that I see other people have. I have friends, don’t get me wrong, but I’m always the one who feels like they’re on the outside looking in. I can’t not keep my distance from people and it’s taking a toll. And I know I’m not alone. I hope you know you aren’t alone, either.

Sylvia Plath (via story-dj)

me fucking lying to myself  (via sann-lykke)