college-quotes

Student 2: None.

Student 1: Uhh, what do you mean?

Student 2: I flunked out.

Student 1: ....

Student 2: Then it's REALLY the family business. Or at least, my family's business.

Student 2: Good for us, at least.

Student 1: What do you mean?

Student 1, going to stop it: Oh no!!!

Student 2: See, I told you: water only boils when you aren't watching it.

Student 1: No, water boils when you put the stove on high and put the lid on!

Student 2: But were you watching it?

Student 2, nodding sagely: You know what'll help with that?

Student 1: What?

Student 2, violently: No, no, no! We aren't watching anything you want to watch. Never again.

Student 1: Banana Fish wasn't THAT bad.

Student 1, seeing that Japan has the top three spots so far in men's singles figure skating: It's a Japanese invasion!

Student 2: ...Can you say that?

Student 1, sitting down: Hey, guys.

Student 2: Do you know where you were when Harambe died?

Student 1: Uhh, yeah? I was in school when I heard the news.

Student 2: What are you talking about? Wet sand is just sand. Wet dirt turns into mud.

Student 1: No, it's dirt.

Student 2: Wet sand is just sand!

*the argument continues for five minutes until Student 3 steps in*

Student 3: If sand isn't dirt then what is sand?

Student 2: Minerals mixed together.