#bad advice

Consider taking up stargazing. Allow the mysteries of the sky to pull you in so that you forget what your empty body down below is doing. Many times, I’ve gone for days without food or drink while watching the sky.

How good are you at crying on command? It’s still possible to do even without a heart, but it’s much less believable coming from a Nobody. Tell your sister through subtext that this person is unworthy. Do not use direct language. Rather than an explicit “you should break up with him,” make yourself appear sad and give a statement that pins the blame on him. For example: “he didn’t replace the toilet roll.” You want your sister to believe that breaking up with him was HER idea and not yours.

Have you considered how your employer feels about that? They rely on you to do whatever it is they hired you to do, and here you are taking leave when there’s still work to be done. The whole operation might collapse if you don’t pull your weight (and the weight of your useless coworkers who all but refuse to do what they’re supposed to). Take the wise kind of vacation and use it to finish your work.

Have you considered how your employer feels about that? They’re counting on you to get your work done, and you’re ungratefully trying to shirk your duties by calling out. I’m sure they don’t even want to keep you around, but circumstances have forced their hands. Maybe if you do a better job with your tasks, you’ll have earned some time off. I’d suggest you get to it.

That’s what gambling is for, my dear friend. Do you throw many ruinings I’ve escaped by making the right bet at the right time? Well I can’t tell you, because then you might start calculating the odds. If there’s a bet to be made, you should take it, is all I can say.

The need for sleep is a weakness.  If you aren’t willing to suffer, you aren’t deserving of the reward. If you insist upon the easy route, self-medicate with a stimulant in the day and a depressant at night. Try cocaine.