CoffeSnake Studios

Scrimp Jesus :)

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Formally moving away from D&D in the summer of 2020 was the best decision we ever made for Party of One, from a creative standpoint, from a business standpoint, from a personal satisfaction standpoint, from a growth standpoint.

Anyone Can Wear the Mask is a roleplaying game for 1 to 3 players about a superhero, a supervillain, and the city they share. Throughout play, you’ll record the adventures of a great hero as they defend their city, stand up to those in power, and eventually confront a terrible nemesis. You’ll draw maps, roll dice, pull cards from a deck, and make a living record of the city and its people.

It's inspired by the relationship between Spider-Man and Manhattan, Batman and Gotham, and Superman and Metropolis.

It's not about "if you can save everyone," because in the end, the hero always saves the day (this is comic books, after all), but about what it means to do so, and what happens when you can't save everyone.

Hey guys! I’m DMing again and the next session is on Wednesday, my players/friends LOVE looting stuff and love when they find weird random shit amongst the loot. Stuff like handmade wooden dolls, sets of fancy cutlery, gambling dice etc. but I want to include some random “useless” magic items

By useless I don’t mean anything that would hurt them/cause negative effects or be annoying, I just mean items with magical effects that are cool but not necessarily something that could be used in combat. Something that would work on like a toy or a cool knick-knack that you could see someone having on their desk or coffee table if it were real. Right now, my ideas are:

A ring that essentially functions as a laser pointer

A music box that plays its current owner’s favorite songs

A goldfish in an endless bowl. Looks like a bowl on the outside but is actually a vast ocean for the fish inside

A small mechanical, key-activated bird in a cage. It flies around its owner when released returning to the cage after one minute, and never having to be cranked after the first key turn

A glass ball that changes to a different kind of sky, blue sky, sunsets, sun rises, storms, night, etc. that gives off bright to faint light depending on the view

If you haven’t already seen Lorelock’s En Eftee statue, it’s a pretty dang funny one.

It really depends on what direction you want to take it -- that’s a very broad target you’re shooting for, gameplay-wise. If you’re interested in something in the vein of the old school sci-fi-as-investigative-procedural stuff where everybody’s scientific specialty or weird hobby always coincidentally turns out to be relevant, you might have a look at Ashen Stars. Conversely, if you’re looking for something more actiony (and with player characters who maybe operate on the wrong side of the law), Scum and Villainy may be more your speed. Traveller is always an option if you prefer a touch of “hard” sci fi, while on the flip side, Mindjammer is great if you’re in the mood for gonzo transhuman shenanigans where having somebody play as the ship is a valid starting character concept. And of course, there are the various officially licensed Star Trek RPGs, though I’m personally not a huge fan.

It’s a short game (one page front and back) where you take on the role of Kobolds on a starship that the party assembles from semi-randomized parts, take on roles like Science Officer, Captain, and Ensign and explore the depths of space with your crew! There are mechanics for away missions too.

The game mechanics are directly inspired by Star Trek, Galaxy Quest, and FTL: Faster Than Light.

You can get it on itch or DTRPG!

https://coffeesnakestudios.itch.io/koboldly-go

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/313477

This said if you’re interested you can get the game as part of the Shelter In Play bundle for just $10, which has $182 worth of kid friendly games!

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/312564/Shelter-In-Play-BUNDLE

Cat & Bird L.L.P., Celestial Public Accountants: Like Turbo-Tax but for your immortal soul. 

(Also they can do your actual taxes)

What up, I’m Cabbage! I’m a nineteenth level wizard and I never fuckin’ learned how to read.

🌟TRAVELLERS GUIDE TO FEY CREATURES OF SILVER SPIRES🌟

This month’s patreon Quest Pack introduces 14 unique fey creatures, with a myriad of ways to use them in your games ~

Printable booklet handout for players, explaining where to find these fey and what to do when you encounter them.

13 page Game Master’s guide, including a way make faeries (and their magic) an important part of your city, a number of quest hooks and a detailed side-quest.

Learn to draw power from your emotions with the faerie otherworldly patron for Warlocks! Includes form-fillable character sheet to track unique class features.

Hello friends! Another month and another supplement hits the itch.io store! https://coffeesnakestudios.itch.io/fresh-press-magic-misspell

This month, please enjoy such lovely new spells as

Wall of Horse

Power Word: Krill

And let’s not forget ARCANE DYE

So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.

Art world is not thrilled with that.

Enter Stuart Semple.

Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.

Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.

Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”

Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.

Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.

He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.

Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.

So I think we can guess who got the better deal.

And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.

…But not quite.

Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.

No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.

The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.

Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.

So that’s been the art world for the last two years.

1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.