𝖑𝖊𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖉𝖎𝖊.

Cordelia stared at the vodka bottle on the table. It was right in front of her. It’d be so easy to reach for it, so easy to down half the bottle like it was water. It’d take the edge off -- it’d numb the pain she was feeling. It would make her inner wounds scab over, even if it was only for a few hours. She just wanted the pain to stop -- the constant agony that she was always in. To the people around her, she may have appeared calm and collected. But behind closed doors, she was falling apart. 

Living without her husband was almost impossible. There was nobody to kiss her goodnight, nobody to hold her when she’d had a bad day at work. Nobody to help with Braelynn and Emersyn when they were getting out of hand. She was completely alone, save for Vinnie. He couldn’t provide what Aiden did, though. Her brother couldn’t comfort her like her husband could. All she wanted was for Aiden to walk through their front door, with the bright smile that he had reserved for only her and their children.  Cordelia wanted to feel his arms wrapped around her as she breathed in the scent of his cologne. She still had one of his hoodies, and she was wearing it as she sat at the table, letting the scent try and comfort her. But in reality, all it was doing was making her hurt more. She longed for him, and he was never coming back. It was something that she’d never be able to face.

Ayanna used to be one of her best friends. She dated her twin, which made her a sister. The woman was an aunt to her kids, and they loved her. But now? Now all of that was dead in the water. No longer would she be involved in family parties, or get-togethers. There was an issue, though. One big thing that got in the way of her staying away from her family. Vinnie. He loved her, and she loved him. They were starcrossed -- it was absolutely sickening. How could her brother feel something for the person who got his brother-in-law killed? It may not have been on purpose, but it still happened. Cordelia didn’t want Ayanna to die. She didn’t want anyone to lose their life. But if she had to choose between her and Aiden, she’d choose her. It was selfish. Completely unfair. That was what love did to people, though. It made them the worst version of themselves when it came down to hard decisions.

Cordelia reached for the vodka, unscrewing the cap. Vinnie had gone now. She didn’t know where. Maybe he was upstairs, cuddling the girls to make himself feel better. Or maybe he’d gone to see Ayanna behind her back. He could even be at a bar somewhere. She didn’t care right now. He said he was on her side, and that was all that mattered. That was all it took for her to forgive him. He had a hold on her as much as she had a hold on him. Their relationship was toxic, but everything in Cordelia’s life was right now. The only love that was pure and true was the love that came from her daughters. But even Braelynn was mad at her. Angry that her mother spent so much time away from home, away from them. She had to, though. Working full time to find their father’s killer was for them. 

She drank down some of the alcohol, then slammed the bottle down on the table. What had she done that was so bad that she deserved this? Cordelia could feel hot tears running down her cheeks, dripping onto her husband’s hoodie. She made no attempt to wipe them away, though. It was safe to cry here, away from the prying eyes of the people she worked with. Why did people have to break her trust? Was losing the man she loved, a brother-in-law, and a father figure not enough? Was that not enough hurt to last a lifetime? Everything was so fucking fucked up. Cordelia picked up the bottle again. Glug, glug, glug. She got up from her chair and made her way upstairs, bottle in hand. 

Opening the girls' bedroom door, she checked in on them. Vinnie wasn’t there. Whatever. Braelynn and Emersyn looked so angelic while they slept. There was no trace of sadness or anguish on their faces, just pure peace. She walked further into the room, pressing a kiss to both of their foreheads. They were so beautiful -- the one thing that she had left of Aiden. She’d protect them with her life. She had and would kill for them. “Mommy loves you both, so much. And daddy, too.” It was whispered, she didn’t want to wake them up. But maybe they’d hear her somehow. Her beautiful girls, her whole life. Ayanna would never come near them again. She’d never put their lives in jeopardy. 

Cordelia trudged to her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She stared at the kingsized bed. Stared at the canvas of her and Aiden’s wedding photo hanging above it. They were so, so happy. He looked so handsome. A sob wracked her body, and she clutched the bottle tighter. So much for numbing for the pain. This was the loneliest she had ever felt. Nobody was on her side, not even Vinnie, even if he said he was. She knew that he loved Ayanna. He’d never stop. It was like her love for Aiden, everlasting. Ever burning. Constant. She climbed into bed, placing the bottle on the bedside table. Cordelia pulled the comforter over her, even covering her head with it. 

A few minutes passed. Minutes filled with sobs. She grabbed Aiden’s pillow, burying her face in it. If she closed her eyes, she could almost imagine him there, lying next to her with a dopey smile on his face. That was how she’d always remember him. Her goofy, loving, fun husband. A man filled with nothing but adoration for his wife and children. Life was cruel -- it was unkind and vicious. If it wasn’t for the kids, Cordelia would’ve died with him. She would have used a knife and traced the blade up her old scars. There would be no Aiden to save her this time. But no, she had to stay alive. She had to live through everyday feeling like she was dying inside. It was for the girls. It was for Vinnie. It was what Aiden would want.

Hii! It’s Valky back at it again with another muse. I’m throwing this bio up quick and will add more later.

Carmen was born and raised in Havana, Cuba. 

She moved to Los Angeles when she was 13 years old. Her parents died in a car accident and she was sent to live with her aunt. 

Her childhood had been happy in Havana, and she loved her parents very much. Losing them tore out a piece of her heart, and she’s never truly healed.

Carmen has a little sister -- she’d protect her with her life. She’s still living in LA as she’s still in school. 

She loves her aunt, but she struggled to raise both Carmen and her sister. Money was tight, and it still is. Carmen sends her money every month.

Carmen had funding to get through school. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have been able to do her dream job.

She moved to Amiens after hearing about a doctor position opening up. The money is better than any other doctors job would pay her, but she knows the reason why. 

Working for a crime family isn’t something she wants to do, but helping the wounded has always been her calling. And if she makes enough money, she can buy a house for her and sister to move into.

Carmen has yet to get truly caught up in mob business. All she’s done for now is help a few injured soldiers.