The Pain Of Laughter — Lex Luthor/Slade Wilson Fanfic
Slade flirts with Alex but it doesn't turn out like how he intended
[Drabble Prompt: Are you trying to flirt? Because, you’re embarrassing yourself.]
Slade had always been a flirtatious individual. He had learned fast at an early age how a few compliments could work in his favor, and that, combined with the fact that he was a conventionally attractive man, meant that his words went a lot further than most. It never mattered if it was a man or a woman when it came to Slade. He knew how to get what he wanted. He knew, and he used it. He wasn't used to rejection. In fact, Slade didn't think he had received so much as a no when it came to sex since he had been a teen, but even that wasn't often. It hit hard.
It should be noted that Alex and Slade weren't on the best of terms and hadn't been since Alex had been hired on as their team's lead scientist. Slade made it his mission to make Alex as miserable as possible. He taunted him. He humiliated him. He insulted him. Alex didn't like him. That much was clear, and perhaps Slade did cross a line or two with him, but Slade would have assumed he would be over it by now. The two of them had reached a mutual tolerance for one another.
It should not come as a shock that Alex was not the most extroverted individual in the world, or at least when it came to his personal life. He didn't receive much action. It was hard for him. Of course there were many beautiful men and women who flirted with him, but he never made a proper connection with one of them, and he didn't seem like the type to do one-night stands. He needed someone who he could connect with. Attractiveness alone didn't cut it for him, and Slade found this out the hard way when he tried to flirt with Alex to get what he wanted. He thought it would work. In fact, he was almost certain of it until Alex laughed in his face over it.
Slade had wanted some new equipment, but Waller refused to approve it. He knew that Alex could whip it out in a matter of weeks, but in order for him to do that, he would either need orders or Slade would need to appeal to his better nature. The last time he wanted something like that, he had flirted with the hot little number who had been in charge of scheduling. His time off had taken priority over others who had waited months. He didn't even have to put out for that one, so he assumed that it would take even less effort with Alex. It seemed so simple, but Alex wasn't easy.
“Alex, you're a chemist, right?” Slade questioned as he leaned over the table to get a better view to watch Alex work, unable to miss how irritated he seemed at the invasion of his personal space. “You do chemistry.”
“I don't know if I would limit myself to such a simplistic title, but I do in fact engage in chemistry when my work requires it.” Alex responded as he continued to focus on his work at hand, not bothering to even look at Slade as he continued. “Why?”
“Maybe we should get together and experiment a bit. See what kind of reaction occurs.” Slade mused with a smile on his face, watching with interest as Alex's movements froze as he looked up at him only to burst out in a fit of laughter a few seconds later. "Okay, the laughter kind of hurts my feelings a bit.”
“Are you trying to flirt? Because you're embarrassing yourself.” Alex responded as he wiped the tears from his eyes, shaking his head as he looked over the file Slade had slid over, which made him realize the reason behind Slade's words. “All over some equipment.. I swear.. What has this world come to?”
“I thought you'd like it.” Slade reasoned with a halfhearted shrug, not bothering to hide his irritation when Alex tossed the file in a drawer to be forgotten about. “Come on Alex.. I don't want much here.”
“Do those lines ever work? Because I have to admit I've heard better from the brain-dead supermodels." Alex mused as he took a moment to entertain Slade’s moment of desperation, kicking the drawer shut once more when Slade tried to open it to retrieve the file. “If you want the equipment, then I need orders for them.”
"Supermodels flirt with you?” Slade asked as he tried to open the drawer once more, only for Alex to kick it shut again, not bothering to hide his desperation. “Alex, come on. Please?”
“For the last time, it's Lex, and my answer is no.” Alex responded in an irritated tone, shaking his head a bit as he headed off to check on his subordinates. “I have better shit to do than listen to your half-hearted attempts at flirting.”
Alex could be a real asshole sometimes when he wanted to be, and Slade knew this fact better than most. He had spent a whole five minutes on the Internet trying to find a pickup line that he could work with. One would assume that Alex would appreciate his efforts, but he didn't. Slade didn't hesitate to bitch about this fact to his own subordinates. He thought they would see his side of things, but of course they didn't. Those bastards took Alex's side.
“I just wanted some new equipment.” Slade complained as he leaned back in his chair, not bothering to hide how bothered he was over the whole situation. “He didn't need to laugh in my face about it. Bastard.”
“You did make his life miserable, Slade." Joseph reasoned in Alex's defense, not missing the glare he received from Slade in return. “I think you'll have to forgive him if he's immune to your charm.”
“Did I tell you about what he did with the drawer?” Slade questioned as he sat up abruptly, seeming desperate to make himself out to be the victim in this situation. “He could have broken my fingers!”
“Mr. Wilson?” Called out one of Alex's subordinates, offering a kind smile as she stood there with the rest of his team. “Mr. Luthor wanted us to deliver this to you.”
“As I was saying, no one can resist my charm.” Slade mused as he stood up to collect the equipment from Alex's team, hesitating for a moment as he noticed the note that had been attached. “…. Oh, that bastard.”
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