Confection Predilection

This year, I spent Thanksgiving with Boyfriend's family in Virginia. We bought our tickets well in advance, and Boyfriend warned me it might be a smaller plane than I'm used to. I made him look up just how tiny it was, and after a bit of searching, he told me it was a "normal-sized" plane. Him being completely undisturbed, I quickly forgot about it and moved on to other things.

When Thanksgiving rolled around, and it was time to get to the airport, we were in such a rush that I didn't have a moment to think about the plane until we started boarding and I realized I was walking on the tarmac toward a plane with a small set of steps instead of those elevated, mechanical hallways. The plane seemed fairly small but it wasn't until I approached the door and saw the flight attendant slouching with her neck pulled forward that I realized it was SO TINY that the woman COULD NOT STAND UP STRAIGHT. Then it occurred to me that boyfriend and I were sitting separately and that's when the panic set in. I walked to my seat (after a 15 second walk to the back of the plane), sat down and furiously texted everyone my last goodbyes and asked them all to pray for me. My mother texted back "does it have a tray table?" According to her crazy logic, the fact that it did meant it was all ok.

But when the plane took off and we were violently shaking in the air, I lost all composure. I tightened my seatbelt, grabbed on to the armrests for dear life, and tried to practice deep breathing.

Now, I should mention that I'm not a particularly fearful flier. I fly fairly frequently and often enjoy the time to catch up on my favorite magazines or watch a movie in peace. But when you're in a dinky little plane that was built GOD KNOWS HOW LONG AGO that is bobbing up and down tens of thousands of feet into the sky, it's inexplicably unsettling.

I put "Shake it off" on repeat and tried to reassure myself that it would be a short flight. I whipped out my Prevention magazine and spent about 15 minutes trying to read one page until finally I gave up and waited for our imminent doom while listening to the dulcet tunes of Taylor Swift.

It was only about an hour flight. An hour of pure terror, that is. After an equally terrifying landing, I ran off the plane, and in my desperate glee, fall flat on my face. "Don't hurt yourself! There's no rush." Boyfriend warned me. Sure, he was doing just dandy. It hadn't even occurred to him that we were all going to die.

After a lovely Thanksgiving, it was time to go home and I steeled myself for the impending "we're-all-going-to-die-on-this-plane" return flight. I practically kissed the ground when we made it off safely.

Harrowed by the experience, a "thank-GOD-I'm-still-alive" treat was in order. To celebrate firm ground and no plans for terrifying, turbulent flight in the near future, I made my favorite pumpkin scones from Alice's Tea Cup with a few indulgent chocolate chips because, hey, I survived.

Pumpkin Milk Chocolate Chip Scones

Adapted from The Alice's Tea Cup cookbook

3 cups flour

1/3 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

3/4 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons ginger

2 tablespoons cinnamon

1 cup pumpkin puree

1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) unsalted butter, cut into ½-inch pieces

1 1/4 cups buttermilk

2 tablespoons pure vanilla extract

1/3 cup milk chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

In a large mixing bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt, ginger, and cinnamon.

With clean hands, work the butter into the dry mixture until it is thoroughly incorporated and has the consistency of fine breadcrumbs.

Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour the buttermilk, pumpkin puree, and vanilla extract into the center. Still using your hands, combine the ingredients until all the dry mixture is wet, but do not knead! Add in chocolate chips.

Turn the mixture onto a floured surface and gather the dough together. Gently pat the dough to make a disk about 1 1/2 inches thick. If your dough is too sticky, add a bit of flour at a time until you've reached a moist but not sticky texture.

Cut across the disk until you have about 8 wedges. Then cut each of those wedges in half. Lay scones on a greased baking sheet and sprinkle with raw sugar.

Most people don't like bugs. They cringe at the thought of a cockroach, feel a slight wave of discomfort when killing a spider, and do their best to avoid bees, hornets and other mean, stinging bugs.

I am not like most people. Unlike more balanced, naturally experienced, and reasonable people, I have a CRIPPLING fear of all arthropods, regardless of form or affinity for land or sea.

Yeah, I'm sure you've heard that before, and I know I have a penchant for hyperbole at times, but there isn't an iota of embellishment in this sad tale.

After a week in Puerto Rican paradise and an exciting day out and about, Boyfriend and I were having a low key night at home, readjusting to real life. We grabbed a bowl of fancy ice cream, opened the windows to enjoy the early summer breeze, put on my favorite movie (Star Trek: Into Darkness), and settled in on the couch for a good snuggle. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something flitting about and immediately jumped up.

"THERE'S A BUG IN HERE!" Boyfriend was completely undisturbed, perfectly captivated by the movie. I sat back down and tried to keep it together, telling myself it was probably a harmless moth.

Three minutes later when it buzzed in my ear and it was clear this bug was not in fact harmless but instead a blood-guzzling evil mosquito (and one very close to my face), I lost it. "MOSQUITO! MOSQUITO! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!"

Boyfriend jumped up, ready to pounce, waiting for it to come into sight. Thirty minutes later, still standing but far less vigilant and more inured to the realization that this was about to be our whole night, Boyfriend decided to give up. "Let's just watch the movie and when it comes back, I'll kill it. I can't do anything if I can't see it."

He's a damn reasonable person, so it was hard to argue. Five seconds into the movie, though, the mosquito made its reappearance, and I let forth a blood-curling scream. "THAT'S IT! NO MORE!"

Boyfriend could tell I was teetering on the edge of complete insanity, and so he rallied. Never one to half-ass something, he thoroughly researched the best ways to kill a mosquito (this obviously would not have been my first move, as I am a) not patient and b) a woman of action, but I applauded his efforts). Next thing I knew, all but one of the lights were turned out and he was standing like a trained killer against a wall.

I started walking towards him when I noticed the mosquito chilling out on the floor. In one swift movement, I grabbed a shoe and smacked down with all the force in my body, letting forth a wild cry that probably terrified everyone on my floor, and possibly even people a few floors down. I sobbed and ran away and left Boyfriend to check if I had successfully killed it.

After confirmation of the death, I gloated relentlessly about how I was the fierce one in the relationship and thank GOD I was there to save HIM, until I started to feel woozy a few minutes later, and realized my finger was in excruciating pain. Boyfriend of course thought I was being excessively histrionic, took a look at my finger, told me I was probably fine and ushered me back to the couch to finish watching our movie.

The next morning, when my finger was swollen and hard to bend, I waved it right in his face. "DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID TO MYSELF? WHAT I SACRIFICED FOR YOUR SAFETY?" He examined my turgid knuckle and felt a wave of shame and guilt, apologizing profusely. A call to my father the doctor later only made the situation worse.

"You should've taken the ring off. Now you're going to cut off all the blood to the finger, and you're going to have to rush to the ER and they're going to try to cut the ring off so you don't lose the finger." (Sidenote: now we know where the flair for drama comes from.)

I managed to get the ring off, and while I was very uncomfortable with a giant, swollen finger, I learned to live with it. One month later, my finger is still slightly swollen, I still can't wear my favorite ring, and I discovered that my finger won't bend as fully as my other fingers, which has now become my new fear and obsession.

But I was not the only victim in this traumatic incident. Boyfriend has since mandated that no window should ever be open in this apartment again, for fear of other future epic bug battles. And while he probably wouldn't admit it, his gentle looks of love are now tinged with pure fear. Just the way I like it.

Chocolate Chip Zucchini Muffins

Makes ~24 muffins Adapted from smitten kitchen

Ingredients

3 eggs

1 cup vegetable oil

1 3/4 cups sugar

2 cups grated zucchini

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup chocolate chips (my preference is Guittard milk chocolate chips)

cookie butter, for drizzling

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350°F.

Line 24 muffin cups with paper liners.

In a large bowl, beat the eggs with a whisk. Mix in oil and sugar, then zucchini and vanilla.

Combine flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and chocolate chips.

Mix into the wet mixture. Divide the batter into muffin cups.

Bake muffins for approximately 20 to 25 minutes. When muffins are done, allow them to cool.

Remember a few months ago when I was eating cookie butter by the spoonfuls? Luckily, my dependence on cookie mush has since abated. But I have recently rediscovered my love for chocolate-covered gummy bears. Oh, have we talked about them? Chocolate-covered gummy bears (or CCGB) are the apotheosis of candy perfection. Part fruity, part rich chocolatey, CCGB satisfy every candy need. They're wonderfully decadent in their chocolatey goodness first, followed by a refreshing fruity chewiness that leaves you wanting more. Yes, I am straight-up addicted to chocolate-covered gummy bears. It all started out so innocently. I got a handful from our local bazaar of all things tasty, Sahadi, thinking it was a nice treat to myself. But of course when you have one, there's no stopping yourself. By the time I made it home from Brooklyn, the bag was empty.

Now, I've never smoked, I truly hate the taste of liquor, and I don't have the foggiest idea how one ingests most illicit drugs. But chocolate-covered gummy bears are my own personal downfall. Superman had Kryptonite, Achilles had his heel, I have chocolate-covered gummy bears. Having a degree or two in psychology, I could tell my predilection for those little suckers had crossed over into a truly unhealthy habit when I came home from work, popped a few into my mouth for a pre-dinner treat, and an hour later found myself lying on the floor, arms and legs spread out with an empty bag of chocolate-covered gummy bears next to me. When asked if I was all right, I sheepishly explained that I had gorged myself on chocolate-covered gummy bears and so not only was I not hungry for dinner, I was in a strange mental and emotional state. Completely incapacitated, I needed to lie on the carpet for just a little longer to try to pull myself together. That's the problem: it's a slippery slope between one innocent chocolate-covered gummy bear and complete lack of self-control.

In an attempt to wean myself off of chocolate-covered gummy bears, I decided to make something a little less addictive, but a decent substitute. With some wonderfully sweet and juicy raspberries lying around, I decided to get my fruity, chocolatey fix in with a new creation: raspberry milk chocolate scones.

I only made a few at first, thinking that, at the end of the day, I have limited scone-eating capacity. But underestimating the power of my genius, I soon learned that these scones are absolutely addicting in their own right. AND since they're not highly processed (and straight sugar), I was able to convince myself that they have nutritional value; after all, raspberries are fruit and you need to eat several servings of fruit each day, and lots of studies are showing how chocolate is actually healthy. By the end of the weekend, I had completely abandoned any notion of self-restraint. After making 3 batches, I found myself fighting off my parents, my sisters, and even my nieces and nephews for the last scone. Clearly, I was not alone in my lack of willpower.

I would recommend you make some so you can understand, but I feel it's only right to warn you that you may discover a whole new side of yourself and it's not pretty. When you find yourself standing over the kitchen counter, scarfing down the last scone in the middle of the night, don't say I didn't warn you. Then again, this might be a perfect swap for a far less innocuous addiction. Ever the justifier, I am.

Raspberry Milk Chocolate Scones

Makes 8 scones Recipe adapted from basic cream scone recipe from Cook's Illustrated

Ingredients

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

2 tablespoons granulated sugar

1 tablespoon brown sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter, chilled and cut into 1/4-inch pieces

1/3 cup good quality chocolate chips (I prefer Guittard milk chocolate chips)

1/3 cup raspberries (washed and gently dried)

1/2 cup heavy cream

Instructions

Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 425 degrees.

Throw flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt into a food processor fitted with steel blade. Pulse until it's nicely mixed.

Drop butter slices into dry ingredients in food processor and pulse to mix in butter until it resembles a coarse meal. Transfer dough to large bowl.

Mix in heavy cream with a spatula until dough begins to form. Add in chocolate chips and raspberries and barely mix until evenly distributed in dough.

Transfer the dough to a nice big, floured cutting board (or countertop) and knead just until it comes together into a rough, slightly sticky ball, 5 to 10 seconds.

Flatten the ball so it’s a nice round disc about 1/2 inch thick, then cut the scone into wedges. (The raspberries can make the dough a bit sticky and unwieldy. If it’s too sticky to cut, add a little flour, and cut using a floured sharp knife).

Place the wedges on an ungreased baking sheet (or if you prefer, a baking sheet lined with parchment paper) and sprinkle a little turbinado or raw sugar on top. (The baking sheet can be wrapped in plastic and refrigerated for up to 2 hours if you're not ready to bake right away.)

It's been a WILDLY exciting few weeks here. I know, I know, no one likes a gloater. But I love stories of near disasters that end fantastically and I've had a few of those lately. The one I agonized most over was my new KitchenAid Stand Mixer. I ordered it after fawning over its beautiful, metallic fuschia glow only to realize that hot pink online is apparently deep red in real life. After spending several excruciating months deciding whether I could really commit to a decent (but ultimately not perfect) stand mixer, I decided to get rid of it and haven't looked back since. After all, stand mixers are for life. You can't settle for a subpar one. And after a mere few days imagining my future with each of the rainbow of colors KitchenAid has to offer, I found the ONE. It's perfect in every way. We're so happy to have found each other, and hoping to one day expand our family of attachments and accessories.

Continuing with my new and terribly thrilling life, I went to a Cook n' Go cooking class last week. I had always wanted to do one of those classes so I jumped at the opportunity to learn a few new skills, make delicious food, and meet new and exciting friends. Our delightful menu included panko-crusted chicken bites with apricot-mustard sauce, ravioli with pumpkin sage cream sauce, chocolate cranberry tartlet, and maple-apple upside down cake. Sound delicious? It was! I'd like to say I contributed a great deal to the feast, but I found that gabbing and wine-ing was equally as fun. All in all, it was a fantastic night.

With the days getting shorter and the coats getting thicker, I decided to honor fall the way I know best: baking. I'm never one to hold back so I'll admit that these are by far my favorite macarons yet. They'll fill you with a wonderfully cozy feeling that'll leave you wanting to roll around in some perfectly crunchy autumn leaves and then sit at home under a blanket and watch Hocus Pocus.

So take my lead and don't settle for anything less than perfect (macarons).

Pumpkin Spice Macarons

Makes 15 delightfully perfect macarons

Pumpkin spice macaron shell ingredients

1 cup powdered sugar

3/4 cup almond flour

1 1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

2 large egg whites, at room temperature

1/4 cup granulated sugar

Pumpkin Filling ingredients

1/4 cup flour

1 cup sugar

1 cup milk

1 cup butter, softened slightly

1 tsp vanilla

pinch of salt

2-3 tablespoons pumpkin puree (depending on your preference)

1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice

Get two legit cookie sheets and stack them, lining the top one with parchment paper.

Sift the powdered sugar, almond meal, and pumpkin pie spice into a bowl, and whisk to remove any lumps. Set the bowl aside.

In the bowl of a standing electric mixer, whisk the egg whites until they begin to hold their shape. While whipping, beat in the granulated sugar until glossy and very stiff. (Hint 1: you'll know you're done when the eggs clump in the center of your whisk).

Fold the dry ingredients into the firm egg whites with a spatula until the mixture is just smooth, taking care not to excessively fold everything together. (Hint 2: you'll know you're done with the when the mixture is like "magma" - it shouldn't be too runny or too stiff. When you push the batter to one side, it should slowly return to its original position, kind of the way you imagine magma would flow).

Fill a pastry bag fitted with a plain tip (about 1/2 inch, 2 cm) and pipe the batter on the parchment-lined baking sheets in 1.5 inch circles evenly spaced one-inch apart.

Hit the baking sheet a few times firmly on the counter top to flatten the macarons and remove any air bubbles trapped in the piped batter. Now here's the questionable part. Let it sit for at least 30 minutes before popping them in the oven. (If you're in a rush, throw 'em in and don't think twice about it). Before baking, make sure to preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Then, bake the macarons for 10-15 minutes.

When your macaron shells are done, let them sit for a few minutes before removing the hot baking sheet underneath and let them cool completely before removing them from the parchment paper.

Now to the good stuff. Put flour into a small saucepan and slowly add milk, whisking.

Cook over medium heat until the mixture reaches the boil. After about 30 seconds of full boil, the mixture is as thick as it’s going to get. Allow it to cool about ten minutes.

Apply plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the mixture and put the saucepan in the refrigerator. Let it cool down for about an hour.

Combine softened butter and powdered sugar in the bowl of a mixer fitted with the beater attachment. Beat about 4 minutes until very light and fluffy.

With the mixer running, beat in the milk mixture. Beat for about another minute until you have a sweet and silky faux buttercream (if it looks curdled or broken, follow the golden rule of buttercream and just keep beating until it’s where you want it).

Beat in vanilla extract, followed by pumpkin puree and pumpkin pie spice.

It's been a few months since Boyfriend has taken me out on a fancy date so when our friend told us he was visiting and taking us out to an extravagant dinner at Eleven Madison Park, I was overjoyed at the opportunity to get all dolled up.

Now, I love fancy. Fancy clothes, fancy gadgets, fancy furniture. But I just don't love fancy food. I have the palate of a 4 year-old. I don't really care for any kind of seafood or most meats or most vegetables for that matter. So when I heard that dinner was a 16-course menu based on seasonal ingredients (and the whim of the chef), I suspected that I might be a problematic dining companion. I was told that the restaurant would accommodate my preferences, so I happily gave them a ring to inform them of my picky palate.

"Are there any dietary restrictions or preferences that we should know about?"

"Yes. No seafood of any kind. No lamb, no eggplant, no duck."

I then had to specify that indeed, as I do not eat duck, I would not eat foie gras. You'd think that would be fairly obvious, but when you're talking about a place as ritzy as Eleven Madison Park, they must see turning down foie gras as either sacrilege or sheer lunacy.

When our big night arrived, I put on my poshest outfit and steeled myself for what would likely be a slightly uncomfortable but wildly exciting culinary experience. Our waiter (or should I say, one of our 5 waiters) came over to confirm our preferences (or really, my distaste for most foods) and to explain that as a table we had a choice of entree, but since Miss Picky Pants (me) doesn't eat super fancy roast duck, we all were going to have to deal with plain ole beef. (Mind you, it was 140 day aged beef.) Despite the fact that we were still eating the most ridiculously fancy beef we'll ever eat, I was mortified that not only was I the pickiest person imaginable but that my pickiness was now directly affecting the experience of my fellow diners. My shame subsided pretty soon after the waiter placed a bowl in front of me filled with 2 spoonfuls of "bell pepper snow with charred pickled corn and tarragon." Let the wild adventure begin.

As each course came out, we tried to decide where it fell on the scale of culinary insanity. Generally, it was a toss up for best course so far. Sassafras sorbet with banana cake, caramel, and vanilla or the red pepper cheesecake with strawberry and cashew? Who knows which of the 4 dessert courses was most extravagant or bold? But as they placed a full bottle of pear brandy on our table and handed us an exorbitantly high check, we decided that, after a 5-hour marathon of excitement and outrageously highbrow food, it was time to go home.

Inspired by our culinary adventures, I decided to make the (easiest) ritziest thing I could think of: rose cream puffs. These are fairly straightforward to make and the touch of rose really kicks it up one fancy notch. Sometimes a girl just needs a excuse to dress up and if you don't have an excuse, then why not make some rose cream puffs...in your fanciest outfit.

Rose Cream Puffs

Puffs from Erica's Sweet Tooth and pastry cream adapted from Joy Of Baking

Puff Ingredients

2 large eggs and 1 large egg white

5 tbsp unsalted butter, cut into 10 pieces

2 tbsp whole milk

6 tbsp water

1 1/2 tsp sugar

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup all purpose flour

Rose Pastry Cream Ingredients

1 1/4 cups milk

1 tablespoon rose extract

3 large egg yolks

1/4 cup granulated white sugar

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons cornstarch

Instructions

To make the puff pastry dough: Whisk the eggs and egg white in a liquid measuring cup and set aside.

Combine the butter, milk, water, sugar, and salt in a small saucepan and heat over medium heat and bring to a boil, stirring once or twice. When the mixture reaches a full boil, remove from the heat and stir in the flour until it’s incorporated. Return the saucepan to low heat and cook, stirring constantly with a spatula, using a smearing motion until the mixture is shiny, looks wet, and tiny beads of fat form on the bottom of the pan.

Transfer the mixture to the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment and run on low speed for 30 seconds to cool the dough. With the machine running, gradually add the reserved eggs in a steady stream. Once added, scrape down the sides of the bowl and mix until a smooth, thick, sticky paste forms.

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Fill a pastry bag filled with a large round tip with the puff pastry dough. Pipe the paste into 1-1/2” mounds on the prepared baking sheet, spacing them about 1-1/4” apart. Use the back of a teaspoon dipped in water to even out the shape and smooth the surfaces of the mounds.

Bake for 12 minutes, then reduce the oven to 375 degrees and continue to bake until golden brown, about 5 minutes longer (keep an eye on this since timing depends on your oven). Let the puffs cool after taking them out of the oven. Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

For the pastry cream: In a medium-sized heatproof bowl, mix the sugar and egg yolks together. (Don’t let the mixture sit too long or you will get pieces of egg forming.) Sift the flour and cornstarch (corn flour) together and then add to the egg mixture, mixing until you get a smooth paste.

Meanwhile, in a saucepan bring the milk just to boiling (just until milk starts to foam up). Remove from heat and add slowly to egg mixture, whisking furiously to prevent curdling. Then pour the egg mixture into a medium saucepan and cook over medium heat until boiling, whisking constantly. Stir in extract. When it boils, whisk mixture constantly for another 30 - 60 seconds until it becomes thick (if you’re whisking, you may not see boiling. If so, just look for when it gets noticeably thick or the consistency of a thick yogurt). Remove from heat. Pour into a clean bowl and immediately cover the surface with plastic wrap to prevent a crust from forming. Cool to room temperature.

I know, I know. It's been a little while. But I promise, I haven't been lazing about. We finally moved into our new apartment and have been reunited with our many exciting possessions that have been locked up for 3 months. It hasn't been all fun and games though. There have been many (sometimes heated) discussions around how to fit our glorious 3-bedroom San Francisco apartment into a small 1-bedroom NY apartment. This afternoon I had to explain to Boyfriend that, as beautiful as his two bicycles may be, they're not beautiful enough to bless our entryway, much to his consternation.

But, let's face facts, the beauty of a new move is the excuse to go to IKEA and buy everything and anything you can (and even some things you can't) justify. When I go to IKEA, I like to do a slow and thorough examination of everything. I leave no stone unturned. Who knows what hidden gems you miss when you walk with purpose. And don't even get me started on the profanity of taking the inter-department shortcuts.

The only problem is that Boyfriend doesn't share my delight in wasting hours upon hours strolling in and out of fake living rooms and kitchens. He tends to get a bit nervous and agitated, like if he doesn't make his escape, he might grow old and die in IKEA. One time the only way I could persuade him to make a trip to get a truly crucial piece of furniture was to promise I could do it in 20 minutes or less. Believe it or not, I did it in 18. But I did not enjoy it one bit.

To christen our new kitchen, I decided to whip up some healthy chocolate rose pancakes. Before I get into the details, I should warn you I am a total pancake snob. Buttermilk pancakes are a complete bore in my book. I like pancakes with a little something special, which often means breakfast can take a nice, long while. But, these pancakes have long been my ubereasy and ubertasty go-to recipe on lazy weekend mornings. And to top it off, they're pretty healthy as far as pancakes go (no butter! no eggs! no shame!). And because I can't help myself, I had to fancy these up a notch with a hint of rosewater. If you don't have rosewater, you could substitute vanilla extract, but I find the rose adds a really nice complement to the chocolate. And if you happen to have some condensed milk, I find it's the absolute perfect topping to drizzle over a nice heaping stack. Enjoy!

Chocolate Rose Pancakes

Serves 2 not-starving people

Ingredients

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

2 tablespoons cocoa powder

2 tablespoons sugar

1/8 teaspoon salt

3 tablespoons canola (or vegetable) oil

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons buttermilk

1 tablespoon rosewater

Instructions

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, cocoa powder, sugar and salt. In another bowl, mix the oil, vanilla, buttermilk and rosewater. Pour the wet mixture into the dry ingredients and mix until just combined.

Spray a nonstick pan with cooking spray and set it over medium-low heat. When the pan is hot, ladle about 1 1/2 tablespoons of batter into the pan for each pancake.

Cook on the first side until the edges are set and bubbles form on the surface. Use a spatula to gently flip the pancakes and cook on the second side until cooked through. Repeat until you've used all the batter.

I spent my weekend in the charming, rustic countryside of...New Jersey. Since there's nothing really to do and there are bugs outside, I spent most of my time baking. Naturally.

Yesterday, after experiencing a bit of cabin fever and lamenting our out-of-shape state, my mother and I decided to go to a Zumba class. I had never done Zumba before and I had plenty of doubts, but she swore it was very fun and even did an excited little body wiggle to prove it. I indulged her and put on my fancy new exercise clothes. I was all set to shake my booty to skinnydom until I realized that all I had were flip flops and my only option was to wear my mother's sneakers which were a size and a half too big. Add to that the tribulations I've been facing with this awful haircut I have. Needless to say, I didn't feel all that cool wearing an old, broken hairclip on the side of my head to try to tame my weird, manly haircut, robed in hot pink skin-tight exercise clothes, and a pair of casual sneakers that resembled clown shoes more than exercise shoes. Trust me, it was not a good look.

I sucked up my pride and went to the class with her, trying my best to stay open-minded. But about 5 minutes in, when I was fumbling over my enormous shoes and had NO IDEA what was going on, my inner curmudgeon came out. To top it off, the instructor was a chipper, tiny woman who was either on lots of mood-stabilizing drugs or was a Stepford wife. She was happy. Way, way too happy. "HI GUYS!" "HOW'S THIS SONG?" "THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN!" "YOU GUYS LOOK AWESOME!" "KEEP SMILING!" I looked at my mother expecting at least a supportive eye-roll, but she was too busy having the time of her life. Whatever moves she was showing off had absolutely no relation to what the instructor was doing, but nonetheless she was completely nonplussed.

The thing to know about Zumba is that there's really 3 stages of Zumba-imposed self-awareness. At first, you're all, "Hey, I look amazing! I had no idea I was such a good dancer!" But then you realize you don't look like the professional dancers in the Zumba Wii Fit commercial and that you've just been staring at someone else who is gifted and talented. Stage 2 comes about when you start losing the rhythm. You're like, "wait, I see her feet moving but how do I make mine do that? Is this some kind of foot-based morse code? WHAT IS SHE DOING?!" and finally, you realized that you're not moving, fully paralyzed, trying to make sense of the footwork, while everyone else is perfectly in sync and following along. At this point, you feel not only physically inept, but also mentally. In stage 3, you're just trying to keep it together. You've completely given up on trying to replicate the moves, and you're just hoping you can make movements that slightly resemble the steps so your painful ineptitude remains unnoticed. You curse yourself for your sad, white-girl genes and for not spending your nights practicing body rolls, hip circles, and the Beyonce booty shake, but are relieved that at least you had the good sense to position yourself at the back of the room. You leave the class with an intense feeling of self-loathing and a plethora of new insecurities.

Suffice it to say, I'm happy to leave Zumba behind. I've since recovered (most of) my confidence, but it was a steep price to pay for an hour of exercise. Clearly, I'm going to have to find some other more sustainable form of physical activity. Until then, I'm baking.

The nice thing about New Jersey is that, unlike New York, people have houses with yards. Which means, you can plant exciting things like herbs and flowers. And when I realized I had direct access to fresh, home-grown lavender, I couldn't help myself. I've been craving corn muffins for a while, and decided with my newfound supply of lavender, I could jazz things up a bit. And so, dear friends, I present you with honey lavender cornbread whoopie pies. These are wonderful little pockets of cornbread goodness held together with a delightfully sweet honey frosting, with a subtle hint of lavender. If you don't have lavender, you could just omit it, but if you can get your hands on some (fresh or culinary-grade from the store), I highly recommend it. It adds a little fancy, a little surprise, a little je ne sais quoi.

Honey Lavender Cornbread Whoopie Pies

Makes about 15 - 20 whoopie pies

Cookie Ingredients

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 cup cornmeal

1 tablespoon fresh lavender buds (or dried culinary grade lavender buds)

1/3 cup packed brown sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup buttermilk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature

1 large egg

Honey Frosting Ingredients

2 tablespoons flour

1/2 cup milk

2 tablespoons honey

1/2 cup butter, softened slightly

1/2 tsp vanilla

A pinch of salt

Instructions

FOR THE CORNBREAD COOKIES: Position a rack in the center of the oven and preheat the oven to 375°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

In a medium bowl, crush the lavender buds together with the brown sugar. In a smaller bowl, stir together the flour, cornmeal, baking powder, and salt. Cream the lavender sugar and butter together in a large bowl. Mix in the egg, followed by the buttermilk and vanilla and beat until thoroughly combined, about 3 minutes. Add the flour mixture to the batter and mix until just combined.

Using a spoon, drop about 1 tablespoon of batter onto one of the prepared baking sheets and repeat, spacing them at least 2 inches apart. Bake one sheet at a time for 8 minutes each or until the cakes begin to brown around the edges. Remove from the oven and let the cakes cool in the pan for about 5 minutes before transferring them to a rack to cool completely.

FOR THE HONEY FROSTING: In a medium heavy-bottomed saucepan, whisk the flour and milk together and cook over medium heat, whisking constantly until the mixture has thickened and slightly bubbly at edges (it’s best if you don’t overcook the mixture). Set aside to cool in the fridge for an hour.

Cream the butter and sugar until fluffy. Add vanilla, then add in cooled milk mixture. Beat until until the frosting is light and fluffy (like whipped cream). If the frosting is too soft, transfer the bowl to the refrigerator to chill slightly: then beat again until it is the proper consistency.

Happy 4th of July, dear friends! Today is not just about having a barbecue cookout with friends and watching the fireworks. No! It's about celebrating our nation's independence from the rule of those who sought to control us with taxes and deny us representation. Sovereignty is not something to be taken lightly, people. And lest we forget what oppression feels like, I offer my own personal experience.

Before I get philosophical here, I should explain. I'm kind of a crazy person. Let's not kid ourselves here. I'm totally a crazy person. My insanity manifests itself in many ways; I have more types of tea than pairs of shoes, I buy back-ups of things I like because I dread running out, I am utterly disgusted by the sight of someone flossing, and I hate ladybugs, daddy long legs, and butterflies. But my most maladaptive habit is definitely my insane tab addition.

Yes, "tab" as in a browser tab. Like a website. From what I've surmised, normal people open a few tabs. The bold keep maybe 10 open at once. I have on the order of 80+ tabs open in my browser at any given time. That is not an exaggeration. Yesterday I counted 67 tabs in one window alone. Boyfriend once joked that I had "more tabs than God."

Now, I understand that sounds excessive. But there's really no way around it, I promise. I spend most of my life on the internet, let's face it. And I tend to get very excited about things. Like that new restaurant I want to try when it opens, or that Adobe Illustrator tutorial. These things can't be bookmarked, or else they'd fall off my radar and into an abyss of things I once thought would be exciting or useful, but have since become irrelevant or outdated. These aren't just websites, people. They're opportunities! Opportunities to do things, learn things, experience things! They can't be relegated to a sad folder! They must be constantly there, reminders of the full, exciting life I could have!

Which is all nice, and fine.... Until your beast of a computer starts taking (literally) 25 seconds to register a click. Or until you can't actually figure out what any of the 80 tabs you have open are because they're so small, they can't even show a full letter. Or worse, until they get buried to the right because they can't be compressed any more and your browser window is already the full size of your screen. Yes, this is my life.

But not today! No. Today, I decided to free myself from the onerous oppression of a life enslaved by tabs. Today I closed enough tabs to see my favicons. To be able to organize my tabs into meaningful collections. To make sense of the chaos I've been cultivating for months.

Today, I am free. And in honor of that freedom, I decided to make oppression-free orange blossom fruit tarts. These babies are my favorite thing I've made so far. (Yes, I'm fully aware I say that frequently. And I do genuinely mean it every time. I just can't help it if I top myself regularly.) I created a delectable orange blossom pastry cream that I could literally eat by the spoonful. And when you top them with the yummy, fresh fruit that's in season this time of year, it's a killer combination. Of course, if you're normal and not celebrating a crazy occasion like closing a few tabs, you can take it down a notch and use pre-made pastry dough.

But when you're down to a mere 65 tabs, you've got something real to celebrate.

Orange Blossom Fruit Tarts

Makes about 15 mini fruit tarts Tart dough recipe adapted from Cook's Illustrated

Tart Pastry Ingredients

1 large egg yolk

1 tablespoon heavy cream

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

2/3 cup confectioners' sugar

1/4 teaspoon table salt

8 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 stick), very cold

Orange Blossom Pastry Cream Ingredients

1 1/4 cups milk

1 teaspoon orange blossom water (or 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract, if you can't find orange blossom water)

3 large egg yolks

1/4 cup granulated white sugar

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons cornstarch

Instructions

For the Tart Pastry:Whisk together yolk, cream, and vanilla in small bowl; set aside. Pulse to combine flour, sugar, and salt in bowl of food processor fitted with steel blade. Cut butter into 1/2 inch slices and drop into flour mixture. Pulse to incorporate butter into flour until mixture resembles coarse meal (about fifteen 1-second pulses). With the food processor running, add the egg mixture and process until dough just comes together (about 25 seconds). Turn dough onto sheet of plastic wrap and press into 6-inch disk. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate at least 1 hour (or up to 48 hours).

Remove dough from refrigerator (if refrigerated longer than 1 hour, let stand at room temperature until malleable). Roll out dough through the plastic wrap until it’s about 1/4 inch thick. With a round cookie cutter (I used one around 3-inches in diameter), cut as many circles as you can in the flattened dough. Gently transfer the circles to an ungreased muffin tin, centering each circle in each muffin slot. Using your fingers, push down on the dough so that it is formed to the shape of the tin. Make sure to flatten the sides (you want it to be tall enough so that you can comfortably fill it with cream, since it will thicken when it bakes). (Troubleshooting tips: If some edges are too thin, reinforce sides by folding excess dough back on itself. If the dough gets too sticky, pop it back into the fridge for 20 minutes or so until it is cold enough to be more manageable.) Set dough-lined muffin tin in freezer for 15-20 minutes, until the dough is firm.

Meanwhile, adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 375 degrees. Set dough-lined muffin tin in the oven and bake until golden brown, about 7 minutes (timing will vary depending on size). Remove from oven and allow to cool to room temperature, about 30 minutes.

For the pastry cream:In a medium-sized heatproof bowl, mix the sugar and egg yolks together. (Don’t let the mixture sit too long or you will get pieces of egg forming.) Sift the flour and cornstarch (corn flour) together and then add to the egg mixture, mixing until you get a smooth paste.

Meanwhile, in a saucepan bring the milk just to boiling (just until milk starts to foam up). Remove from heat and add slowly to egg mixture, whisking furiously to prevent curdling. Then pour the egg mixture into a medium saucepan and cook over medium heat until boiling, whisking constantly. Stir in extract. When it boils, whisk mixture constantly for another 30 - 60 seconds until it becomes thick (if you’re whisking, you may not see boiling. If so, just look for when it gets noticeably thick or the consistency of a thick yogurt). Remove from heat. Pour into a clean bowl and immediately cover the surface with plastic wrap to prevent a crust from forming. Cool to room temperature.

Remember when you were a kid and on long summer nights you'd run around and capture fireflies, mesmerized by their awesome power of illumination? Yeah, well I do not. I grew up in New York, where (luckily) fireflies are few and far between.

Last night as my friend and I were walking to dinner, we noticed the women in front of us stop and point at something in the air. Lo and behold, it was a firefly. Now, unlike me, these women were smiling and full of excitement. And unlike them, I was trying to get by and move to safety as quickly as possible. Of course, this firefly (quite possibly the dumbest bug on Earth) decides to land on ME, of all people. I don't know what bug-friendly, "please-land-on-me" vibe I give off, but I was horrified. "GET IT OFF ME!! GET IT OFF ME NOW!!!!!" I started screaming. I probably looked like a total lunatic, flapping my hands and screaming like a crazy person, but in my acute state of fear, all I could think about was the abominable creature clinging to my leg. Boyfriend (who grew up in Tennessee, where apparently bugs are friends, not enemies) gently offered his hand to this ignorant insect, which it gladly accepted. Boyfriend was blissfully content bonding with his new, portable BFF and Mr. Firefly seemed happy to hitch a ride, enjoying respite from what must have been a stress-inducing blitz of excitement. Relieved of the odious object and no longer consumed by fear, I regained my sensibilities, just in time to overhear the woman in front of me talking about the debacle she just witnessed. "Can you believe it? It's just a firefly!" JUST A FIREFLY, LADY? JUST A FIREFLY?! If that thing landed in her ear and laid itty, bitty firefly eggs, I'm sure she wouldn't say "Oh, it's just a firefly!"

And 2 minutes later, when Boyfriend decided to set the firefly free and it flew directly into his face (again, I told you this was the dumbest bug on Earth), he too flipped out, frantically swatting at his face. Naturally, I felt compelled to call him out on it. I shall not be persecuted alone.

After such a harrowing event, I needed to calm my nerves with a delightful treat. Have we talked about my cookie butter addiction? It's baaad. I was in denial until Boyfriend pointed out that it was not normal to eat a heaping tablespoon straight out of the jar every day. At first, I was all, "Whatever. This is just OKAY." But then after a few more tries, I realized it's only the best thing I've ever eaten. Whoever decided to mush some cookies into a creamy spread is a genius whose brilliance merits nothing less than a Nobel Prize. Anyway, I decided perhaps it might be wise to find some use for it other than direct, by-the-spoonful consumption. Naturally, as a frosting hater (I know, I know, reserve your judgments), I decided cookie butter could do nothing but a world of good for frosting. And since cookie butter is so delightfully cinnamon-y, I decided to pair it with a snickerdoodle whoopie pie.

I don't like to brag, but this was ridiculously good. Like offensively good. When I offered one up to my mother (an even bigger hater of all frostings), she took one bite and went straight for the frosting bowl, eating a full spoon of it. Clearly the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Scaredy Cat Snickerdoodle Whoopie Pies

Makes about 15 - 20 whoopie pies Recipe adapted from Let's Make Whoopie Pies

Cookie Ingredients

1/2 cup butter, room temperature

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 egg

2 1/2 cup flour

2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

3 tablespoons cinnamon

A pinch of salt

1 cup milk

Cookie Butter Frosting Ingredients

1/4 cup flour

1 cup milk

1 cup butter, at room temperature

1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar

2-3 tablespoons cookie butter (depending on your preference)

1 teaspoon vanilla

A pinch of salt

Instructions

For the snickerdoodle cookies:Preheat oven to 350°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or spray with PAM.

In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugar together until fluffy. Add vanilla, followed by an egg.

In a smaller bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt.

Add about 1/3 of the dry ingredients to the batter, then half of the milk, then another 1/3 of the dry, the rest of the milk and finally the remaining dry. Beat a little more to ensure it is well mixed.

Spoon the batter for the whoopie pies on the greased cookie sheet, keeping them about 2 inches apart. When you have the sheet filled, mix 2 teaspoons cinnamon and 2 tablespoons white sugar in a small bowl, for the topping. Sprinkle the cinnamon-sugar mixture over the tops of the cookies.

Bake 7 minutes or until they bounce back when pressed but before the edges start to brown.

Allow to cool 2 minutes on the pan before transferring to a cooling rack to

cool completely.

For the Cookie Butter Heritage Frosting: In a medium heavy-bottomed saucepan, whisk the flour and milk together and cook over medium heat, whisking constantly (it will clump at the bottom) until the mixture has thickened and slightly bubbly at edges (you probably don't want it to reach boiling). Set aside to cool.

Cream the butter and confectioners’ sugar until fluffy. Add vanilla, then add in cooled milk mixture and cookie butter. Beat until until the frosting is light and fluffy (like whipped cream). If the frosting is too soft, transfer the bowl to the refrigerator to chill slightly: then beat again until it is the proper consistency.

I've never really been in shape. To be honest, I really can't complain because I've inherited very good skinny genes. But the sad truth is I've always kind of known I'm a mess ever since 7th grade when I joined the swim team and was limited to 25 yard sprints because of my pathetic stamina.

Every now and then, I go through a phase of deciding to be fit. I start by buying some snazzy workout clothes (obviously the key step). I maybe go to a Pilates class or two. And then I give up with as much resolve as I started.

There have been a few times I decided I would be a runner. They're always so long and lean, and they claim to get a euphoria along with the physical benefits. There was one time where, after a few days of committing to running for 10 minutes, I made it up to 0.8 miles. To you, that may not seem impressive, but that is still my lifelong best. More recently, Boyfriend and I tried to get into the habit of running up some hills in San Francisco. I mostly walked up, very, very slowly and then ran down screaming, "MY LUNGS ARE BURNING! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS! I'M DYING! I'M DYYYYING!!!" to the bewilderment and worry of passersby. Euphoria my ass. And when walking up the enormous hill to get to our favorite brunch spot, I routinely relied on Boyfriend to push me up the hill (literally). One might say I was weak, one might say I was lazy, but I prefer to think of myself as a genius.

So now you know my longstanding history of being a pathetic lump. When I decided to move back to New York, where life is good, things are easy, and you can do anything imaginable, I decided I need to pick up an exercise routine. I kept setting a new deadline - when I get to New York, when I start work, when I move into an apartment - only to have each pass without so much as a single crunch to show for it.

But when I went bowling a few days ago and ended up inexplicably sore in strange places, I knew I hit a new low. Okay, sore in the thumb, sure. Sore in the forearm, that makes sense. But sore in the INNER THIGH? HOW CAN THAT BE? Seriously, if you have an explanation, I would LOVE to hear it. I was also sore in my calves (?!!) and abs and even my side. I try to imagine what on earth I must have been doing while bowling, and I can only think that I must have completely tensed up my ENTIRE body while throwing the ball. A SPASMIC EXPLOSION OF... a wee bit of force. Welcome to my life.

Anyhow, I've decided it's time to start swimming so I'm going to go buy myself a fabulous bathing suit. And then, I'll go for a swim... once. Maybe twice.

Orange Blossom Madeleines

Makes 12-15 madeleines Recipe greatly adapted from Serious Eats

2/3 cup all purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup sugar

1 tablespoon orange blossom extract (or vanilla extract, if you can't find orange blossom extract)

2 large eggs

3/4 stick (6 tablespoons) unsalted butter, melted and cooled plus more for the pan

Confectioners sugar, for dusting

Whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt.

In a mixer bowl using a mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat the eggs and the sugar on medium high speed until pale, thick and light, 2 to 3 minutes. Beat in the orange blossom extract.

With a rubber spatula, very gently fold in the dry ingredients, followed by the melted butter.

Press a piece of plastic wrap against the surface of the batter and refrigerate it for at least 2 hours, or for up to 2 days. (You can also spoon the batter into the greased and floured madeleine molds, cover and refrigerate, then bake the madeleines directly from the fridge.)

Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 400°F.

Butter and flour the madeleine mold and place the pan on a baking sheet. If you have 15 minutes to spare, put the prepared mold into the fridge to cool it down.

Spoon the batter into the molds, filling each one almost to the top. Don’t worry about spreading the batter evenly, the oven’s heat will take care of that. Bake the madeleines for until they are golden and the tops spring back when touched, 11 to 13 minutes.

Remove the pan from the oven and release the madeleines from the mold by rapping the edge of the pan using your fingers or a butter knife. Transfer the madeleines to a rack to cool to just warm or to room temperature.

I've wanted to chop all my hair off for the past 5 years, ever since I went through my unhealthy Edie Sedgwick obsession and my drink-wine-and-watch-obnoxious-Godard-films phase. I've been CONVINCED I would look absolutely adorable in a cute little pixie cut, despite all my friends' strong remonstrations. I even once made my friend Photoshop my face over a picture of Sienna Miller in Factory Girl to prove it. But I've never quite had the chutzpah to go through with it.

Now that I'm kind of homeless and haven't quite made any friends for whom I must look normal, however, I decided there's no time like the present to live out my dreams and hack it all off. Before I go any further, let me just say, WHAT a colossal mistake. I've spent quite a few hours over the past day staring at myself in the mirror, moving a wisp of hair this direction and that. I tried raising my shoulders to shorten my neck, and put in about 500 different hairclips and bows and headbands. I tried making charming faces and putting lots of makeup on. But no matter what I do, my hair doesn't really look all that different... probably because there's only 3 inches of it. Let's face facts here: at the end of the day, it's just not flattering.

Sure, I had my suspicions that perhaps I would look like an androgynous cyborg. And in all fairness, I was warned. When I told people about my resolve to do it, I got a text immediately afterwards: "Call soon. Before you make a mistake. I love you and you're beautiful. For now."

But as I am wont to do, I fully deflect responsibility and blame it all on somebody else. Every time I searched for hair inspiration, I invariably saw a picture of Carey Mulligan looking darling with her cute little pixie cut. The thing I didn't quite realize though, was that as much as I loved her haircut, it was really her whole head I wanted. I guess I was bound to be disappointed when my hair was finally cut and my face wasn't transformed into hers. I guess even the best haircutter has their limits.

To top off my disappointment in my less-than-thrilling haircut, it also happened to be a truly traumatic event. I don't really care much for hair styling, and while I'll happily spend too much money on clothes or fun tech gadgets or fancy baking supplies, I really don't see much of a point of getting an expensive haircut. In the past I've always had great experiences at the Aveda Institute, where you get a delightfully cheap haircut done by supervised students. I love how they give you fancy licorice root tea and lather your hair with incredible-smelling products that not only make you feel like a superstar, but also make you feel like a do-good-er who just saved the rainforest. It's usually a pretty good deal. Except yesterday was a true disaster, from start to finish.

I showed up for my appointment late, completely out-of-breath, and sweaty from the 90-degree weather I found myself speed-walking in. I checked in and sat down. Forty minutes later, after several other people came and went, I decided it was no more miss nice guy. When I complained about the excessively long wait, I was informed that my appointment was in fact an hour later than I had thought and that even after waiting what felt like forever, I had another 15 minutes to go. When I finally met my person, she was perfectly sweet, but it quickly became apparent that she hadn't the foggiest idea what she was doing. After every few snips, she'd ask her instructor for guidance on the next step and we'd wait 15 minutes until her instructor would cut an eighth of an inch and tell her to call her over at the next point. Repeat 6 times. Finally, after three and a half hours of sitting perfectly still and cursing myself for not going to a normal salon, the instructor decided to just take over and finish the cut. Which would have been great if she had any real interest in my haircut (or my well-being, for that matter). At one point, she tugged at my hoop earring with the comb and made a joke about how the students are much more gentle than the instructors. Yeah, good one, lady. Because about 5 minutes later she RIPPED THE EARRING OUT OF MY EAR and I saw it fling across the floor, without so much as a pause. I emerged from the salon feeling like I just been very slowly, very carefully, and very deliberately robbed of my hair, my time, and my dignity.

I tried to think about the silver lining. Hey, I've wanted to do this for a while, and now, at the very least, I know that it's perhaps not the best look and I won't make that mistake again. Except I'm still not fully convinced I wouldn't look amazing if only the cut were a little longer, a little edgier, a little more Carey Mulligan. I figure that in about 2 months, it might be glorious, but until then I've got to just suck it up (and wear lots of girly dresses and earrings and makeup, to compensate for my lost femininity).

And in the meantime, I decided to buck up with some cheer-me-up chewy carrot cake whoopie pies.

Cheer-me-up Chewy Carrot Cake Whoopie Pies

Makes about 20 cheerful whoopie pies Recipe adapted from Tracey's Culinary Adventures

Cookie Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon (or more if you're crazy like me)

1 teaspoon ground ginger (again, or more)

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg (again, or more)

1/2 teaspoon salt

8 tablespoons (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, at room temperature

1/2 cup packed light brown sugar

1/2 cup granulated sugar

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups grated carrots

Cream Cheese Frosting Ingredients

8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature

6 oz cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup confectioners' sugar, sifted (if you like it very sweet, add more)

1/4 plus 1/8 teaspoon vanilla extract

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

In a medium bowl, whisk the flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and salt together. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter and both sugars on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 4-5 minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl then add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Mix the vanilla. Then add the dry ingredients and beat just until combined. Finally, add the grated carrots, beating to distribute evenly.

Chill the batter in the refrigerator for at least one hour.

Using a small cookie scoop, portion the batter onto one of the prepared baking sheets, spacing the cookies about 2 inches apart. Bake for about 12 minutes, or until the cookies spring back when gently pressed. Transfer the baking sheet to a wire rack and let the cookies cool for 5 minutes then remove the cookies to the wire rack to cool completely. Repeat with all of the dough, alternating baking sheets.

To make the frosting, beat the butter and cream cheese on medium speed until fluffy (about 3 minutes) in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Add the confectioner's sugar a little at a time, scraping the sides of the bowl in between additions. Beat in the vanilla extract. With mixer on medium, beat for another minute or so, until the frosting is smooth and fluffy.

Thursday was Boyfriend's and my 4th anniversary. 4 years is a long time, mind you. We've survived two years of long distance, two cross-country moves, and countless wolf spiders. As much as we've been through together, there are still a number of firsts. Like today when Boyfriend yelled for me through the closed bathroom door, imploring me to fetch him a roll of toilet paper. I opened the door a smidge, covered my eyes with one hand and blindly threw in the roll of toilet paper. After 3 botched attempts and several "I can't believe this is my life! I told you to always refill the toilet paper when you use the last!"s later, I decided he owes me. Big time.

To celebrate our anniversary, we made a reservation at a very posh restaurant downtown, got all dressed up and feasted on the finest Asian-Fusion food New York has to offer. I'm still drooling over the General Tso's dumplings that exploded in your mouth.

Our anniversary also happens to be just before Cinco de Mayo and, let's be honest here, I love a good excuse for festive baking. Now, I've never made truffles before and truth be told I'm not a huge truffle fanatic. But I decided to try these because they're filled with cookie dough, and really, who doesn't like chocolate-covered cookie dough?

Boy was I right. These are insanely good. Normally when I have "spicy" Mexican hot chocolate, it's not actually spicy. IMHO, you can't make a claim like "spicy" and not deliver. So when it came to making these, I made sure these were spicy. Maybe even a bit too spicy. I found myself sneezing up a storm from the cayenne pepper I aspirated. And when a coworker popped a whole one in his mouth, his contorted face told me perhaps I had overdone it.

Now, I maintain the kick-in-the-face spicy is good. It's not quite melt-your-face spicy, but it has a subtle warming effect. The other nice thing to note about this recipe is that the cookie dough doesn't have eggs in it, which means that you can taste it as you go to ensure that you reach your desired spice level. Just be forewarned - it's VERY easy to get carried away with "tasting." I could barely keep myself from eating the cookie dough alone. Also, I don't care for dark chocolate (in my book, chocolate should always be sugary and sweet), so I prefer to use milk chocolate. If you have a more sophisticated palate, feel free to use dark chocolate instead.

Whether you're celebrating a romantic moment of your own or just want an excuse like Cinco de Mayo, grab your cayenne pepper and give these a go. They're fairly simple, wildly impressive, and ridiculously tasty.

Spicy Mexican Chocolate Truffles

Adapted from Love & Olive Oil Makes about 15 decently-sized truffles

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup light brown sugar, packed

2 tablespoons heavy cream (or milk if you prefer)

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 cup cocoa powder

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon ground cayenne (if you don't like real spicy, you may want to dial this down to 1/8 teaspoon)

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup milk chocolate chips (or mini semisweet if you prefer)

Chocolate coating: 8 ounces milk chocolate (or dark-chocolate if you prefer) and 1/4 cup heavy cream

In a large bowl, beat butter and sugars with an electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes. Mix in milk and vanilla.

Stir in flour, cocoa, cinnamon, cayenne, and salt and mix on low speed (or by hand) until incorporated. Stir in chocolate chips.

Cover and chill dough for 30 minutes or until firm enough to handle.

Form dough into 1-inch balls and arrange them on baking sheets lined with parchment paper. Place sheets in the freezer for at least 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, add solid chocolate and heavy cream in a double boiler until the chocolate melts, mixing them together (or melt the chocolate very carefully and slowly in a microwave and mix with warmed heavy cream if you're lazy like me), being careful not to overheat it.

Using a fork or dipping tool, dip truffles one at a time in chocolate to cover. Tap fork on the edge of the bowl to shake off excess coating, and return truffles to baking sheets to set. (I found this step is easiest if you don't actually spear the truffle but just drop it in the chocolate, roll it around a bit, and scoop it up with a spoon, placing it back on the sheet).

There are many wonderful things about living in New York: incredible restaurants, renowned museums, amazing nightlife, reliable public transportation, and countless opportunities to educate, improve, and entertain yourself. You might have noticed one omission from that list: the New York rental market.

Coming from a huge, sunny, 3-bedroom, wall-to-wall window apartment in San Francisco, I knew finding a decent apartment in New York would not be a minor feat. And after viewing a 486 square foot shoebox apartment, I started to truly appreciate just how hard it was going to be.

So, in spite of my exhaustive, full-time 2-week long search, I find myself still sleeping in my little twin bed in my parent's house, without a home of my own. On the one hand, I'm living out of a suitcase, which makes it incredibly hard to dress myself in the fabulous fashion I'm accustomed to. On the other hand, my parents are doing my laundry, packing my lunch, and making sure I have a few dollars in my wallet. Yeahhhh, it's pretty great.

So when I found a few spotty bananas just lazing about (quite like myself), I justified my hankering for banana bread as a means of being productive. I found a recipe for banana cupcakes but decided, with all due respect to Martha, I could adapt it to make it slightly healthier.

Skipping on the frosting, adjusting the sugar, and throwing in a few spices, I thought I had created a perfectly delightful and delightfully healthy treat. But I couldn't help but think that something was missing. And then I had a second stroke of genius - what would really make these really spectacular would be some milk chocolate chips. Yes, that's right, just as I inched toward healthy, I made an about-face and sped toward sinfully unhealthy. I'm really my own worst enemy. Once I gave in to chocolate chips I thought, what's a little cookie butter drizzled on top? It's a slippery slope, you see.

When I pulled these out of the oven, I knew I was on to something. These were ridiculously good, especially when warm and gooey. In fact, I'm salivating right now just thinking about them.

5 minutes later...Yeah, I just polished off the last of them.

Banana Chocolate Chunk Muffins

Makes 12 muffins Recipe greatly adapted from Martha Stewart

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, (spooned and leveled)

1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted

1 1/2 cups mashed bananas (about 2 or 3 ripe bananas)

2 large eggs

1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/2 cup (or more, depending on your preference) milk chocolate chips

Optional: Cookie butter (for drizzling)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a standard 12-cup muffin pan with paper liners. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

In another mixing bowl, mix together butter, mashed bananas, eggs, and vanilla. Stir into the flour mixture and throw in chocolate chips until just combined (do not overmix).

Dividing evenly, spoon batter into muffin cups.

Bake until a toothpick inserted in center of a cupcake comes out clean, 15 to 20 minutes. Remove cupcakes from pan; cool completely on a wire rack.

A little known fact about me is that I'm a crazy tea fanatic. I have a cupboard, in fact, dedicated solely to my collection of fancy teas. Pure teas, blended teas, green, black, white, red. You name it, I got it. So naturally, when we went to Thailand, I felt it my duty to drink a Thai Iced Tea at least once a day. Which I did, until one day (on one of our many 102 degree, humid, marathon temple-going days) I nearly passed out. Turns out super sweet Thai iced tea on an empty stomach is maybe not the best way to regulate your blood sugar. After that, I scaled back and stuck to moderation. But naturally, when I saw some Thai iced tea mix at the local market, I felt compelled to buy it...to complete my collection, of course.

Well, ever since I made those superfancy blackberry nutella macarons, I've been on a shameless macaron kick. And with all that exciting Thai iced tea just begging to be put to good use, I had to do it justice.

And did I ever. These were delightfully tasty (probably the best tasting macaron shells I've ever made) and just right in terms of sweetness. Now, I'm not gonna lie. If you want good tea flavor, it's going to take a while. But it's totally worth it. If you're not quite sure where to pick up some, fear not. You should be able to pick some up at a Thai grocery store if you're lucky enough to have one near you, or if not, your dear friend Amazon can always supply you with some. Thisis the one I got at a local market in Thailand, so I trust that it's fairly legit and I can vouch for its tastiness, but I suspect any old kind would do.

Thai Iced Tea Macarons

Macaron shells adapted from design.bake.run and condensed milk frosting from from my imagination

Thai Iced Tea Macaron Shells

1 cup powdered sugar

¾ cup almond flour

1 tablespoon Thai iced tea mix

2 large egg whites, at room temperature

¼ cup granulated sugar

Condensed Milk Frosting

¼ cup flour

¾ cup sugar

2 teaspoons Thai iced tea mix

1 tablespoon condensed milk

1 cup milk

1 cup butter, softened slightly

1 tsp vanilla

pinch of salt

Get two legit cookie sheets and stack them, lining the top one with parchment paper.

Sift the powdered sugar, almond meal and Thai iced tea mix into a bowl and whisk to remove any lumps. Set the bowl aside.

in the bowl of a standing electric mixer, whisk the egg whites until they begin to hold their shape. While whipping, beat in the granulated sugar until glossy and very stiff. (Hint: you’ll know you’re done when the eggs clump in the center of your whisk).

Fold the dry ingredients into the firm egg whites with a spatula until the mixture is just smooth, taking care not to excessively fold everything together. (Hint 2: you’ll know you’re done with the when the mixture is like “magma” - it shouldn’t be too runny or too stiff. When you push the batter to one side, it should slowly return to its original position, kind of the way you imagine magma would flow).

Fill a pastry bag fitted with a plain tip (about 1/2 inch, 2 cm) and pipe the batter on the parchment-lined baking sheets in 1.5 inch circles evenly spaced one-inch apart.

Hit the baking sheet a few times firmly on the counter top to flatten the macarons and remove any air bubbles trapped in the piped batter. Now here’s the questionable part. Let it sit for at least 30 minutes before popping them in the oven. If you’re in a rush, throw ‘em in and don’t think twice about it. Before baking, make sure to preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Then, bake the macarons for 10-15 minutes.

When your macaron shells are done, let them sit for a few minutes before removing the hot baking sheet underneath and let them cool completely before removing them from the parchment paper.

Now to the good stuff. Put flour into a small saucepan and slowly add milk and condensed milk, whisking constantly.

Cook over medium heat until the mixture reaches the boil. After about 30 seconds of full boil, the mixture is as thick as it’s going to get. Allow it to cool about ten minutes.

Apply plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the mixture and put the saucepan in the refrigerator. Let it cool down for about an hour.

Combine butter, powdered sugar, and Thai iced tea mix in the bowl of a mixer fitted with the beater attachment. Beat about 4 minutes until very light and fluffy.

With the mixer running, beat in the cooled milk mixture. Beat for about another minute until you have a sweet and silky faux buttercream (if it looks curdled or broken, follow the golden rule of buttercream and just keep beating until it’s where you want it).

Beat in vanilla extract. If you'd like a stronger flavor of Thai iced tea, you can steep some Thai iced tea in a teeny bit of hot water (so it's nice and concentrated) and pour in a little bit at a time, constantly checking the consistency.

Yeahhhh...I know it's been a while. You may be wondering what crazy shenanigans I've been up to that have warranted such an extended e-absence. But don't worry - I always deliver.

Dear friends and followers, I have exciting news. I quit my job, up and left my cosy, quaint apartment in San Francisco and am living a thrilling life in New York after a whirlwind adventure throughout Thailand and Singapore. See? I always deliver.

Now, don't feel deprived of my many exciting Southeast Asian adventures just yet - oh, the stories will come. But, after a month-long hiatus, it's high time I got to it and bake something good.

One of the myriad reasons I'm excited to be back home in the Big Apple is that I finally have people to eat my baked goods. I no longer have to yell at Boyfriend to eat 3 whoopie pies a day before they get stale. No, no. Now I have 6 hyperactive little nieces and nephews who would trade their soul for a cupcake and sacrifice each other for a cookie.

Not that I would need a team of 6 goodies-gobbling gobblins to polish off these suckers. Not only were my macarons delightfully perfect (with the exception of a little love nub on top), but my frosting was the most incredible stroke of genius. I had made Nutella frosting to top off my fave snickerdoodle cupcakes and had some left over. To jazz things up a bit, I threw in some juicy blackberries for a decadent twist.

Now before you're humbled by my culinary prowess, I will admit the first few times I made macarons I had varied success. I used to pray to the Parisian gods, cross my fingers, toss some salt over my shoulder, and hold my breath as I pulled my cookie sheets out of the oven. I read blog after blog on troubleshooting and debunking macaron myths, never understanding my problem...until I finally realized my issue. All these macaron masters are secretly doubling up their heavy-duty cookie sheets. Geez, why had I never thought to buy thick restaurant-quality cookie sheets and stack them on top of each other before baking my perfect macarons?

Armed with the best-kept secret in the macaron world, I whipped up a perfect batch of these suckers and made the best tasting frosting imaginable. Yep, I stepped up.

If you're feeling a bit apprehensive about trying these out, let me ease your trepidation. All the stuff about aged egg whites, and not baking on a rainy day? Baking folklore (and a load of hooey) if you ask me. My baking philosophy is if there's no clear chemistry-based explanation for it, it's not worth the extra effort. These are actually pretty fast and easy and absolutely incredible. My only complaint is that I made a reasonable number of macarons and now I can't gorge myself on all the chocolatey almondy blackberry-y goodness.

Blackberry Nutella Macarons

Makes (a mere) 15 perfect macarons Chocolate macaron shells from design.bake.run and blackberry nutella cream from my imagination

Chocolate macaron shell ingredients

1 cup powdered sugar

¾ cup almond flour

2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

2 large egg whites, at room temperature

¼ cup granulated sugar

Blackberry Nutella cream ingredients

¼ cup flour

1 cup sugar

1 cup milk

1 cup butter, softened slightly

1 tsp vanilla

pinch of salt

3 tablespoons Nutella

handful of fresh blackberries

Get two legit cookie sheets and stack them, lining the top one with parchment paper.

Sift the powdered sugar, almond meal and cocoa powder into a bowl and whisk to remove any lumps. Set the bowl aside.

in the bowl of a standing electric mixer, whisk the egg whites until they begin to hold their shape. While whipping, beat in the granulated sugar until glossy and very stiff. (Hint: you'll know you're done when the eggs clump in the center of your whisk).

Fold the dry ingredients into the firm egg whites with a spatula until the mixture is just smooth, taking care not to excessively fold everything together. (Hint 2: you'll know you're done with the when the mixture is like "magma" - it shouldn't be too runny or too stiff. When you push the batter to one side, it should slowly return to its original position, kind of the way you imagine magma would flow).

Fill a pastry bag fitted with a plain tip (about 1/2 inch, 2 cm) and pipe the batter on the parchment-lined baking sheets in 1.5 inch circles evenly spaced one-inch apart.

Hit the baking sheet a few times firmly on the counter top to flatten the macarons and remove any air bubbles trapped in the piped batter. Now here's the questionable part. Let it sit for at least 30 minutes before popping them in the oven. If you're in a rush, throw 'em in and don't think twice about it. Before baking, make sure to preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Then, bake the macarons for 10-15 minutes.

When your macaron shells are done, let them sit for a few minutes before removing the hot baking sheet underneath and let them cool completely before removing them from the parchment paper.

Now to the good stuff. Put flour into a small saucepan and slowly add milk, whisking.

Cook over medium heat until the mixture reaches the boil. After about 30 seconds of full boil, the mixture is as thick as it’s going to get. Allow it to cool about ten minutes.

Apply plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the mixture and put the saucepan in the refrigerator. Let it cool down for about an hour.

Combine butter and powdered sugar in the bowl of a mixer fitted with the beater attachment. Beat about 4 minutes until very light and fluffy.

With the mixer running, beat in the milk mixture. Beat for about another minute until you have a sweet and silky faux buttercream (if it looks curdled or broken, follow the golden rule of buttercream and just keep beating until it’s where you want it).

Beat in vanilla extract, followed by Nutella. Grab a handful of washed blackberries and chop them finely and throw them in the chocolate mixture until they're nicely incorporated.

I'm a big lug. Like, really. I have no stamina whatsoever. One time I decided I would be a runner since so many people seem to love it. And after a month of abject misery (a.k.a. training), I worked my way up to .8 miles. Another time I went to spin class and halfway through I literally started passing out.

After months of being a sedentary couch potato, I decided to be good and try again. I went to a TRX class - and made it through! Huzzah! My legs are jello and I had to take a break in every set, but I made it through!

To reward myself for a job well done, I baked myself a batch of perfectly fluffy and sweet snickerdoodle cupcakes. I am not joking when I say these might be my favorite things I've ever baked. Not only do I have no stamina, but I also clearly appreciate a good hyperbole. But, for real. I literally ate half the cupcakes before I got to frosting them. These babies would be perfect without any frosting, but since I had just discovered a new recipe for a less-sweet frosting, I just had to try it out. And, as a sucker for juicy history, this "heritage" cooked flour frosting has an interesting backstory to boot; in World War II when butter and sugar were rationed and therefore precious, housewives relied on a cooked flour and milk mixture to thicken frosting. And it turns out it's a pretty genius move in any day and age.

Snickerdoodle Cupcakes

Cupcake recipe from Martha Stewart and frosting recipe adapted from Joe Pastry Makes 28 cupcakes

Cupcake Ingredients

1 ½ cups all-purpose flour

1 ½ cups cake flour, sifted

1 tablespoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon ground cinnamon

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 ¾ cups sugar

4 large eggs, room temperature

2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

1 ¼ cups milk

Cupcake Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line standard muffin tins with paper liners.

Sift together both flours, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon.

With an electric mixer on medium-high speed, cream butter and sugar until pale and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until each is incorporated, scraping down sides of bowl as needed.

Beat in vanilla. Reduce speed to low.

Add flour mixture in three batches, alternating with two additions of milk, and beating until combined after each.

Divide batter evenly among lined cups, filling each three-quarters full.

Bake, rotating tins halfway through, until a cake tester inserted in centers comes out clean, 15-20 minutes. Let cupcakes cool completely before frosting.

Heritage Frosting Ingredients

4 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 cup milk

2 sticks (8 ounces) of butter, softened

½ - 1 cup powdered sugar (depending on how sweet you like it)

Heritage Frosting Directions

Put flour into a small saucepan and slowly add milk, whisking.

Cook over medium heat until the mixture reaches the boil. After about 30 seconds of full boil, the mixture is as thick as it’s going to get. Allow it to cool about ten minutes.

Apply plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the mixture and put the saucepan in the refrigerator. Let it cool down for about an hour.

Combine butter and powdered sugar in the bowl of a mixer fitted with the beater attachment. Beat about 4 minutes until very light and fluffy.

With the mixer running, beat in the milk mixture. Beat for about another minute until you have a sweet and silky faux buttercream (if it looks curdled or broken, follow the golden rule of buttercream and just keep beating until it’s where you want it).

Beat in two teaspoons of vanilla extract, or the flavoring of your choice.