“and i don’t see how it’s any of your business,” alhaitham grumbles, watching as kaveh rummages through his fridge with his food in his home.

“it’s not,” kaveh hums, pulling out ingredients that he most certainly has not paid for with his own wallet, “but it’s undoubtedly entertaining to witness. if i were you, i’d have definitely figured out why i’m on the couch by now.”

“you have to actually date someone before you can be sent to the couch,” alhaitham raises a brow, feeling the slightest bit of satisfaction as he watches kaveh’s features twist into anger, “but seeing as you have no love life—”

“well, i know why you’re on the couch,” kaveh interrupts, crossing his arms as he glares down the scribe.

now that—that catches alhaitham’s attention. why does kaveh know why you’re mad at him? why have you told kaveh and not him? and why hasn’t kaveh told him by now? how dare kaveh eat his food and sleep on the bed that could be his right now and keep this information from him?

“you do?” he blinks, staring at the blonde in bewilderment before scowling, “so then tell me, why have i been sent—”

“that’s for you to figure out, and him to keep to himself,” you interrupt, making both heads turn to you as you enter the kitchen.

and truthfully, as pathetic as it might be, alhaitham is slightly relieved you’ve spoken to him after days for the first time—even if it’s not exactly the words he hopes to hear. he eyes you as you walk into the kitchen, watches as you pull out two mugs and walk to the coffee machine. and then he pauses—why do you need two mugs?

“kaveh,” you say a little too sweetly, “would you like a cup of coffee?”

almost like he knows—and alhaitham is sure he does because of the amused glance he spares—kaveh nods with an appreciative smile.

“i would love one,” kaveh grins, and alhaitham glares daggers at his roommate, tightening his grip on his own coffee mug.

“okay,” alhaitham sets down his drink, staring intensely at the back of your head as you pretend not to hear him, “what’s got you mad? it’s been days, and it’s very counterproductive to avoid the—”

“you’ll have to figure that one out on your own,” you say coldly, “you should know what you’ve done wrong. i’m not spelling it out for you.”

“you should be quite a spelling expert with how long you keep that nose buried in books,” kaveh adds, and there’s enough mirth lacing his tone that it takes alhaitham everything from splashing his (awful) coffee at his roommate’s face.

“perhaps you’ll find value in reading some romantic novels here and there,” alhaitham shoots back, “since that’s your only experience with romance anyway.”

“maybe you can take your own advice,” you huff, “you need some romance pointers yourself.”

at that, kaveh snickers and alhaitham turns to look at you with slight betrayal in his features, watching as you slide what he’s sure is a delicious and not bitter mug of freshly brewed coffee to the blonde. you’re not supposed to side with kaveh—and you’re certainly not supposed to make kaveh coffee in the mornings, yet here you are, doing everything in your power to remind alhaitham that you’re still angry. it’s been days, and he’s is still as clueless today as he was the first day, still just as confused with what it is exactly he’s done to upset you this thoroughly.

and then, like the gods have blessed him through a certain big mouth, he hears kaveh’s loud voice, “you could certainly take a few notes how not to forget about dates—”

oh. right. he was supposed to take you for a date—the first date since he’s become acting grand sage, the first date since his schedule’s effectively become a lot less flexible and a lot more difficult to squeeze in a moment with you outside of collapsing in bed beside you after a long day. alhaitham watches as you shoot a sharp look at kaveh, shutting him up with just one look as he rubs the back of his neck.

“kaveh,” you hiss, cutting him off and glaring at him as he shoots you an apologetic look once he realizes he’s accidentally spoken too much. but it’s too late—alhaitham seems to blink in realization, slowly rising to walk over to you across the kitchen.

“so that’s why you’re mad,” he mumbles, “i didn’t mean to forget our date. i’ll take you on one tonight,” he says, making you raise a brow unimpressed.

“and?” you press, making alhaitham’s brows furrow.

“and…i won’t forget again,” he nods slowly, as if sure of himself and his ability to finally fix the situation.

you, however, only scoff, rolling your eyes before shoving past him, making him blink in surprise as you hiss, “you can stay on the couch in that case.”

“but—”

“you’re supposed to say i’m sorry, genius,” kaveh calls from the side, and only because alhaitham doesn’t want to sleep on the couch anymore (and definitely not because he realizes kaveh is right), he grabs your wrist and pulls you against his chest.

“i’m sorry,” he says—and it’s awkward, it’s a little stiff and almost sounds forced, but it’s gentle all the same and sincere as he presses a kiss against your forehead. and much to your dismay, you can’t stay mad no matter how hard you try—because it’s alhaitham, and he’s difficult and in a world of his own, but he’s your alhaitham, somehow lovable under all that irritating know-it-all attitude of his. “i won’t forget again. i guess being acting grand sage takes its toll even on me.”

“you better not,” you grumble, letting him wrap his arms around your waist, reluctantly letting yours snake around his neck. “it won’t be the couch next time if you do—i’ll make you sleep outside.”

“honestly, it’s what he deserves for taking my keys—” and after days of tolerating kaveh’s amusement at his expense, alhaitham thinks it’s sufficiently satisfying watching his roommate go silent after the harsh look you send him over your shoulder, quickly leaving the kitchen with an excuse to finish work mumbled under his breath.

“can’t we send him outside instead?” alhaitham mumbles, burying his face into your neck.

you only hum, threading your fingers through his hair and pressing a soft kiss to the side of his head, “if anything, i should send both of you.”

thank you miss bub my luv for reading over this and helping me figure out this mediocre idea of mine jfjdfs