contorted minds

 She counted down the apartment doors as my heart dropped and my tongue grew dry. Hope grew thick as the door was unanswered and I hoped our prayers were but filth rode in, pedal kick stride of a person unaware of the karma he reaps.

I sit here unaware of the future we reap, located in a blank hotel. Walls turquoise, my solitude reaping rewards and I wish this colour’s message could seap through these blank souls and pray tranquil.

I wish I had an anvil or a heavy iron to strike down the fate preached on my angel baby and to give her the heaven she deserves; the chance to catch her breath in a rushed world. And the junkie who sold her this shit to begin with..I wish them well. I wish them all-

The door knocks and a brother blood shows up. I see the hope of our red dirt spilling into blood and I apologize for every baby that wasn’t held enough.

I wish I could replace the ecstasy Celeste experienced from the needle piercing her skin as she rests upon the porcelain toilet. Though truly, I’ve never seen her so at ease. I wish I could see the same meditative state as she’d sit cross legged on a mat mid morning in the lounge room. Yeah...that’s a prayer worth keeping. I pray to see her soul gleam, inner child spirit, the naturalist drug, cooked up coursing through her veins.  She needs more than these four turquoise walls. They’re an illusion. Tranquility here comes with a price. Not much, I just need your life for $5 a kilo.

***side scribbes next to journal entry***

-Honestly, the people here are lovely, I’m just unaccustomed but very comfortable.

-The man serving was nice, I just took it personal because he was hurting my baby

-I wanna take off my black jacket but it’s hiding a pink interior/soft weak coward warpaint