hard

Ok, the GOM starts NOW. Remember to clearly pronounce your safe word like we discussed earlier.

DAMN

Thanks for the question. i honestly don’t mind discussing relationships and infidelity with those who pose legitimate, thoughtful questions. What i can no longer entertain — because it’s neither healthy nor productive — are questions and comments from readers who i call “stone throwers”: people who are not themselves perfect, and who do not know me, yet feel compelled to cast aspersions because my own personal choices have offended their fragile sense of morality. But if you’ve got a sincere query, as you do, i’m totally happy to weigh in.

There are two things that come to mind for me in this situation. The first is an acknowledgement that our partners cannot be everything to us, nor can they give everything to us. Each of us has needs that are intellectual, emotional, financial, sexual and social in nature, and we deserve to have those needs met. If your partner can’t fulfill your financial needs, you need to have other sources of income. If your partner can’t fulfill your social needs, you need to have friends you can spend time with. And if your partner can’t fulfill your sexual needs? Well, i’m of the personal belief that one needs to have another outlet where those needs can be met. That’s my opinion, and i know it’s a morally and ethically controversial one. But it’s how i feel.

The original question asked or stated was that he is considering seeing other people without telling his partner. That has to be the lowest, dick move ever. The original poster comes off as self-centered, selfish, and egotistical. We all have our needs, but when you enter into a relationship you’re also accounting for the needs of your partner. The response given does neither as well either. We live in a society and generation of me first. Center of the universe disease. And social disorder. We don’t care about anybody but ourselves. And that’s bullshit.

Another issue I see, is that we’re talking relationship and new. Whatever happened to dating? Dating is that little thing that happens before a relationship is formed. The process of dating is long lost in this gay community. It’s very sad. Dating is where you start to learn about other people. You go out casually and have fun with them. You can ramp it up slowly and test the waters to see if this is going to work or not, and find out where there’s going to be any potential issues in your ability to form a relationship with this person. that doesn’t happen anymore, we take people out for test drives, we throw them over the bed, the sausage is slam down that dirt track, and the next day if you’re still there and want to have a glass of orange juice with them, you’re in a relationship. That is bullshit.

if this partner is everything to him, physically, and emotionally, I get that the sexual part may not be kinky enough for him. Maybe that should have been discussed before the relationship. God knows gay men don’t have a problem doing the 20 Question Interview before they even meet for coffee. I also agree that the sexual health of a relationship is of the utmost importance. If that particular partner cannot meet that most sacred intimate part of a relationship, and perhaps that’s not the right partner for you. Whether we’re gay or straight, able to make babies or not, relationships were always formed around the ability to have sexual relations. We commingle and cohabitate to reproduce. Yes, gay men cannot have babies. But the function is still there.

the response says I have needs, if he doesn’t meet my financial needs that I need to seek elsewhere. If he can’t support my emotional needs I need to seek elsewhere. If you have so many needs that aren’t being met, then you should seek elsewhere. You should not be seeking to supplements. I also disagree with the notion that were not going to be everything for everyone. Some of us actually do have very good marriages, I and my husband are able to fulfill each other’s needs. Is that rare? Absolutely. But the last bulshit thing I would do to him and show him the disrespect at the go out and find somebody else to fulfill such a sacred part of a relationship and not tell him I’m doing it. That’s called infidelity.

what set me off so much about your post, and the original post, is the amount of self-centered self-reflecting bulshit, and lack of interest for the partner. It’s just so easy to go out and replace, think of yourself, stick and bury your face in your fucking phone which I’m sure is where it is. You can’t even so much as see your partner as a person enough to give them the respect to say I need to talk to you. While it may be happening, I can’t help to notice that it was never brought up an either of your post. The original post says I want to not tell him about this. The second post that I support you in doing this. Neither one of you said talk to him. Infidelity is never right. infidelity is the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner. Going into an open relationship can happen, if it’s done healthy. Infidelity is never right. That’s a lying low stack shit piece of move if I’ve ever heard one. And I know that I don’t know either one of you, but I would be glad if I never did. What you guys speak of here is something very damaging to other people. Because he doesn’t suck your dick good enough, or he can’t take your flogger, or doesn’t lick your boots when you want it, you would so much is cheat on him without telling him, because your needs are being met.

Perhaps you should consider dating this person before you form a relationship with them. I think the younger generation today refers to it as “we’re talking.” the irony of that, which I always found funny they refer to it as that, is that they’re actually talking. Getting to know each other. Finding out if their right to form a relationship. Wake up buttercup, we’re in the new generation. We thought long and hard battles for marriage. The time to act responsibility is today. You date, you form a relationship, you get married. If you don’t make it to Third Base that’s fine. But before you form a relationship with somebody, the fact that most people fail in their relationships, because they don’t know their partner. People are too busy about trying to get their dick sucked down the dirt track before they even get to know the person they want to do it with.