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oozey mess
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AnasAbdin
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η₯ζ₯ / Permanent Vacation
Acquired Stardust
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
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we're not kids anymore.
$LAYYYTER
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JBB: An Artblog!
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@cocainecandy

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I think a really unnerving and telling thing is that even when we are triggered as hell and having flashbacks, we just look bored and still type and talk as though we are fine. We could be having some of the hard PTSD symptoms and most would be none the wiser if we prefaced our day by saying we are tired.
For the record I'm taking care. I have my bird here in a closet until it passes. It just sucks and I'm really tired of this and I'm really not happy to be hit with flashbacks I had started thinking were done
Family is so frustrating.
Most of the time, I behave myself. I donβt say anything Iβm not supposed to. I try to make sure I donβt ruffle any feathers. I just want our time together to be as painless as possible, which typically requires me to grin and bear it.
But certain topics trigger me and I donβt play along the way they expect me to. Then everything blows up and becomes a mess, because Iβm supposed to be the peacekeeper. When I start acting out, all hell breaks loose.
The good news is that in the morning, they will all pretend that nothing happened. The last thing they want is more confrontation.
So they will refuse to address it, allowing it to fester along with all of the other issues we have sidestepped over the years.
And we will keep on pretending everything is fine.
As we do.
"I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself."
β Franz Kafka
A small series of sketches about severe co-dependency, each one was made during a meltdown last year.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Ari Banias, from Anybody: Poems; βCloseβ
[Text ID: βYouβve given me a bad name / Iβll only make worse.β]
Advice your mother shouldβve given you.
Stick by your word and stand firm with your boundaries. Donβt allowΒ people to poke, probe, and push your limits, boundaries, and no zones after you told them not to. Donβt be fooled, all people need is one warning to get the memo that something is off limits, but no one will respect a person who is all talk and no action. Put action behind your words, no one will take your words seriously if you donβt, empty threats get you nowhere. People only continue trying you when they know/think they can get away with it.Β Say it with me, first times a warning, second times a done deal. Donβt disrespect yourself by going against your boundaries and personal code.Β
βI donβt want to, so Iβm not going toβ is sometimes the boundary that we must draw with those who try to get us to do things that we know we dislike or that are unhealthy for us. Itβs also the boundary that we must draw with those who try to manipulate and control our lives. It is perfectly valid and needs no further justification. Honor and respect your wants, needs, and personal well-being.
i always feel so guilty when i talk about how abusive my mother is. she's unnecessarily mean, neglects me since i was a child, hurt me on purpose just so she could have fun, i almost died once because of her. im pretty sure she's narcissistic. but she's nice sometimes. when i talk about her abuse is like betraying the rare loving side of her.
Via Pinterest (I don't own any of these; if you're the author DM me I'll credit you)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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1/5/22
last krismas i gave you my heart
why am I so difficult
Shoutout to aro-spec bitches who are aro-spec due to trauma. I know most of us don't speak up about it cause we don't want to talk over the aro-spec folks still struggling to be recognized without being told it's "just because of trauma"
You are seen, you are valid, and you are loved!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
i really just want you to stop ruining my life