Casting your gaze way out to no man's land

I feel like I’m falling into a depressive episode and I can’t stop it.

I guess this is what people call a bender???

I still feel so awful. If this sends me into a depressive episode, I’m gonna be so pissed.

I wonder how many public places I can cry in this weekend.

Sean broke up with me last night and I’ve spent all of today completely obliterating myself because I can’t stand to feel this Bad.

So on 4th of July, I was goodbye to Sean before I left and when he was hugging me, he said “love you, sweetheart” (which hes never said before in the relationship). It caught me by surprise (even though I’ve been thinking about saying it recently) so I didn’t say it back but I hugged him harder. I think it caught him by surprise as well because he started telling all his goods friends who were there that he loved them too. I want to say it back next time we’re together (it doesn’t seem right to say it over text).

When my boyfriend is high and sees his cat, it’s the cutest thing. He gets so excited, like he’s seeing his cat first time in a long time (even though it’s probably been like 20 minutes). He’s such a great cat dad.

Fuck this day.

When your boyfriend doesn’t text you back and you dissolve into bpd fear of rejection madness.

So this guy who “dated” (basically just binged watched Netflix and fucked every once in while) just text me after he stopped talking to me months ago. Like just said “hey”. That’s it. Nothing else. What the fuck????