Coal Soul

Faded smares and broken red glass palette.

A book in making.

2023 -

Gap time fame will.

-----------------

Among the daffodils were purple muzzy

Threads like cloudy puffs and it felt on you as you paint that on your sad blue face.

There have been this.

The nocturne feeling when you staggered by the heart and you weren't ok, so pulked your golden arrow once you put in and I was bleeding then and bleeding since

You came in my dream

You said it's gonna be a nightmare and you smiled like you are watching one of your favourite games

This is when I felt I am not going to live long

As sun flickered light like a lighted lighter

Angled from up, or a candle that burns so slow we wouldn't even be real then when the sun dies out permanently

Like the parmanent closed doors of mills where people worked and now they do is go on protest against system

Take the time to rethink my habitual

I let you, was the line for mistakes ..?

The blade in the bathroom tells me to die, that what I haven't felt.

No more history, host me a show now like I'm here for it.

I do bargain, travel ideas, all you need is love; has always been a poster to me, nothing else.

Necessity was poems I used read long ago

about romance of love

Dusty bookshelves dreams

______________________

My life is of a limerick some old december

I dreamt, and I dream a lot.

Of old december I wanted, I am probably that, he said, some old friend he were, at least I felt like that, but he used to pity my existence like some cat on the street, wondering why I would be nice,

and I dream a lot.

The boy who made fun also fell in love

And there were one more kid, they were all apparently into me,

And yet, the television screen plays nothing at night, and I used to get beat up while screen the dead, witnessed

I kept wondering why.

Yes, I fall asleep whenever I can, even though the nightmares grasps me like some mad man eating nicotine and smiles at their own grievances, marked as a foolishness..

I only reminds you, whenever you think of me like a mistake, of only flowers, the flowers that I gave, the flowers I paint, the flowers you felt on your shoulders for you to call yourself my life

The madness on the summer treating me like a black ceremony of public affairs, as if we both were broken dolls, getting gold platings into our bones, and in the end everyone cheered everything happenes for good.

I repainted, questions cause they have not made sense, only forgetting the difference of good and evil

They mockingly pointed at me, I am the good, to shut me up

I have felt frozen since, the snowfall hurled in my heart.

I don't dream anymore, like a bird, I don't sing no more, I would not go the next life there aren't such a thing, I lead me to this only life that I am only born to die like some yellow leaf.

Forget to be

And then forgotten.

One afternoon, you came by surprise

I was waiting from a long ago

Do I remember or recognise you? Your question..

A crowd to gather, a assembly if..

I staggered my own heart with insecurities

Crowd throwing me shades, I heard and saw hate

Like a coward, I said

no..

And you ignored my hesitant breathes

And broke my heart

with the facts

Now you're gone, not like in the movies.

You chose her.. .

Been to honeymoon and gave her my favourite colored gifts, after that she told me, that she doesn't hate me

World told me, I deserve nothing but token of apology if I go crazy

now.

Clustering voices echoes back inside the emptiness I have achieved, with weather changes,

time falling like the stream, the imitation of everything supposed to make you feel insanity, now as I only have the lonesome view, of the world

If I pay people can say, it wasn't about that. It was not perhaps this game that everyone chose

It's a place for everyone, even you, here on earth.

Time heals like fog

Fog makes it look faded

Transparent even,

Like there were nothing to be honest or dishonest..

The world choose you and her

... ... ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ...

I tried to pluk on the fallen tree branch

Filled with favorite shade of pink blossoms

Dying yet so strong it remained

I got myself none, I came back to the condo

Thinking how there were a pink flower tree at school, beside the window, I'm reading something else and class is going on, I didn't dare to touch any tree back then, amused that as it felt, they came to earth for us.

Hearts fallen into streams

Showdy hearts

The gibarish

The glow in my eyes

Blinding

The sun

The moon cried like a puppet I made

I rethink about this, that and those

New story, to go with on.

.

Glory days left by,

I rather be some whispered tale

Than a growing agony in front news

If treachery came like dust that soon came to this world..

How hurt were you

I can't ask

But in the want I felt your pain in my fingertips

there's this tomatoes I got after one summer

From the girl who always reminds me of womanhood

She grew up to fast and told me never she ever had a good childhood memory

fondness for her from me were immense

That when she took the person I liked with her brainwashing technology

I just smiled when they came back laughing at me

And her cousin, sat in my place, some kind of hennessy, child got her game into bets and all kind of body movings

She could even kiss a loser like me.

I am not familiar with them anymore

They here stand in my words making into lines

Some prose;

Killing it with there smile

In the image,

Telling me just like before,

I don't have happiness

Can't really smile

For the time I only saw you

For the reason was just still

for love, who do you see

My eyes goes blind, to the spotlight,

and you only look into spotlight to look

I keep gazing but you mouthed how

I didn't look at you..

Enough .. of I am, and there's not

me , you chant with angry

reaction of me in my mirror, me;

I need to look for love

dark walls to guard me;

For love who do I see.

Sweet bread for hunger;

12:07, maybe catch the bus

on someday, I meet glorious sight

view,ending them with canopies,

I rather not blend,in my days,

here, I stand still

sky could fall down,

to the pond with those colored

fishes; don't bother saying is the

clouds where you'll meet me;

Cause I can't believe,

& for the time I only see you;

but my eyes tells me a strange song,

& you're no where near;

Un-bloomed, my love, remains,

moved like broken mirror,

for you I could smile like a daze,that

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

I paint this face in colors you do not seek

As if..

I rag out the name from mind

Like the yellow flower I don't want it to be there

Amusing fear, paper fallen on the ground

Do you have ever seen me

The way darkness drapping in me like a shadowing hear-out

Perhaps, it's your name

I know no halo

Runway hearted

We are locked by stamps

Remember you said, "you're funny"

And I am happy that I was making you laugh

I asked if you liked my songs, & you did, & suggested I should write about being friends

& I could run down a novel about you

& it won't be enough

You didn't meant us,

but I think we're a great patch.

You noticed things that I've done,

& we both have different kind of bad stories , in past

but fly over it, when everyone wants us to drowned.

I could try to hide it,

batter the mask,

Jogging pants and cherries dietary, things

that we like,

Paper cuts and band wagon,

dancing by the dark

You noticed that things that I've done

Glad that I know you

And we overflew when everyone want us to drown.

Now we can change and grow

Let go what bulges

Glad that we are kinda able towards our life by who we are

Nine months & it’s like 

I’ve never been sober

   saturated blue, call me a 

           heavy dream.

Running away is a understatement,

I conceal in chaos to 

     avoid it, the phantom

        goals of futuristic.

The hometown is same 

   though some things has

changed; there’s a purple 

shade of light falls through

like early December decoration, on the 

    living room window -

lissome my eyes, the shop lights,

a cadaverous feel do not leave 

me alone; it reminds me of the

green bids that I dreamt of, in my

blood, & it reminded of the kids from the land where 

everything belong; is, green,

even their supposedly flesh & skin.

   Fainthearted folks around these 

place : nobody fills the place with

grace, the chains & stars to wear,

the strings in the sky, living mere,..

the cut so minimal , nobody appears 

to speak about; 

                        mercy , the point of 

view of kindness; people say socially,..

tagging me “hypocritical” but you’ve never

tried me.

     It’s all fired up, the forest, 

streets, you can define me; but 

you can’t really define me, 

The solitary living in you; I haven’t 

really seen; 

All that gimmick 

to buy what? To happiness

my letter is, hope it finds you &

(you) get your soul enriched, like you 

pretend (it to be), please stop liking things 

just because they are on trends, hope

in future, we can be friends.

     I’ve a issue list & issued lists are in 

head due; Problems are solving games 

  Shortage of raps 

short age in working mines; and breaking things

baby dreams fossilized , 

I, do I like the color

yellow;

           Foolish, dirty in mud 

            stashed everywhere, & 

            a splash of sunshine.

             A song for sunflowers

             when hope spring on

              the strings; of guitar , &

              bitter words of plenty truths, 

           Somethings indeed. . 

In there are, that

the things that matter,

all colors, but not 

every scope of thought is sleek.

Good can be better

bad is notably not ,

bills & museums, history 

teach us, I barely 

run way , escaping into 

blind wraps of black,

mooning around having candies

and slash

          “and / or “-s

We can rove up in the

goods of nothing more,

Partly people agree, &

       I see them leave;

People that are young likes 

things easy, but here

I’m, where I am going,

not knowing, I feel the 

moon remarks me, left me 

feeling old, but I’m 

not thrifty. But going 

is not bad, but 

not that good all the

time; when we were

kids, we didn’t have to be 

enemies, only we pretended in 

game, now we pretend

of being friends.

     Less the people you know

better or things can get

stressed, purling gaunt as in capital letters -

More the voice

it turns out like jack

(& you become a blind sheep)

blood out of your ears.

(Trying to get the depth)

Feel like seventy years old on 

a ladder, looking ,

out there, originality 

when will bless in,

 The remembering of 

past; startling silly

incidents, laughing 

whole-heartily , what let

me recognize now?

We are doing maybe alright;

just mistook

    To the bony ladder &

      to the outlook of 

        skins, world is filled  with holy

          puppets; hope we 

             are whatever we are, 

                not that in this,

My life by any other 

   name, often heard;

thy enemy is self. 

Descend of love,

   I may can speak

    decor into the gate,

     to yourself, entering 

the high & low form, 

    like now choose yourself

     to be your morning 

                 star.