╱ 𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒏 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 .

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she appreciates the sentiment , she does . he wants to protect her , but the idea that she’s just .. there , doing nothing with her life while they did everything didn’t sit right . she wanted to be important , make herself useful somehow . prove that she was worth something . regardless of the mess she had made . “you’d be there , right ? i wouldn’t go into it blind and if i do , you can put a wire on me maybe . come on , you know i can help so let me .” takes a step closer , big brown eyes pleading to push her case , try to sway his mind . won’t be easy , but she’d put on a fight . because if there was one thing freya bates was good at , it was arguing .

      clearly  she  had  something  to  prove  ,  whether  it  be  to  herself  or  them  .  so  when  she  steps  forward  and  glares  up  at  him  with  that  wide  eyed  gaze  ,  he  can't  help  but  consider  to  proposition  one  final  time  .  "  listen  to  me  ,  "  he  pauses  ,  jaw  tightening  as  he  looks  down  at  her  ,  "  if  we  do  this  ,  you  need  to  swear  on  your  damn  life  that  you’ll  follow  my  every  order  .  you  don’t  make  a  move  without  my  say  ,  you  don’t  speak  unless  spoken  to  .  "  lets  the  words  hang  in  the  air  ,  his  gaze  softening  only  slightly  .  "  as  long  as  you  stay  in  the  background  ,  blend  in  as  nothing  more  than  arm  candy  ,  there  won’t  be  a  reason  for  anyone  to  look  twice  .  but  if  that  sounds  too  difficult  for  you  ,  then  it’s  over  before  it  starts  .  "

exhales sharply. part of him had expected the rejection but still wasn't prepared for how it would feel. it shouldn't affect him the way ti does, shouldn't dig into that part of him that still stupidly aches for something they were never supposed to be. " no, right, of course. " nodding like he understands, like he accepts it. but he doesn't. how can he ? digits twitch at his sides, itching to reach for her, to do something other than just stand there drowning in the memory of them. " i'm sure it is. " lets words settle between them for a beat, dark hues searching her face for something, anything. guilt, hesitation, anything that tells him that she feels it too. " was any of it real ? or was it just another transaction to you ? "

      "  don’t  …  "  she  started  ,  her  voice  quieter  than  she  intended  .  gaze  shifting  away  from  his  ,  looking  anywhere  but  into  those  eyes  that  used  to  make  her  feel  like  she  actually  mattered  .  the  distance  between  them  felt  like  a  canyon  now  ,  and  she  didn't  know  how  to  explain  to  him  that  she  would've  done  anything  if  he'd  just  stayed  .  "  you  know  it  wasn't  the  same  with  you  .  that's  why  we  can't  do  this  .  "  she'd  never  been  forbidden  from  interacting  with  a  previous  client  .  unless  of  course  they  requested  it  .  but  that  wasn't  in  the  paperwork  he  submitted  ,  she  checked  twice  .  "  if  you  didn't  end  it  ,  they  would  have  .  that's  how  real  it  was  for  me  .  "

“well .. yes . but ,” she sighs , running her fingers through her hair . “i can be good for something , tommy . i’m not a damsel in distress . i don’t need to be locked inside a tower , i can take care of myself .” had for years before her half brother stepped in to do the rest . “are you saying i’m not special ?” brows furrow and her arms cross against her chest , getting agitated despite him being right . he was always right , it was kind of annoying . “you don’t have to do it all alone , is what i’m getting at .”

      "  i  don't  doubt  any  of  that  ,  "  he  assures  ,  exhaling  slowly  as  she  continued  .  tommy  had  been  raised  with  a  deep  respect  for  two  kinds  of  people  :  his  elders  and  women  .  it  was  that  very  principle  that  kept  him  here  ,  still  engaged  in  this  conversation  despite  the  frustration  simmering  beneath  the  surface  .  "  to  them  you're  insignificant  .  to  me  ...  to  your  brother  ,  you're  worth  a  hell  of  a  lot  more  than  some  pawn  in  this  game  .  i  mean  —  "    could  see  the  wheels  turning  in  his  mind  ,  considering  it  for  a  couple  of  beats  before  shaking  it  off  ,  "  no  . no  , it's  too  risky  ,  freya  .  "

"i know you think what i did was stupid ," because it was , "but just hear me out , okay ? no one expects me to be the ploy . they would have played along if you would have let me stay ." wanted to do something , anything to pay her dues . to make up for everything tommy and his family had done for her , knowing renzo could use the help at times . "they wouldn't have hurt me ."

      he  kept  quiet  ,  allowed  her  the  floor  as  she  requested  .  and  although  he  knew  her  words  couldn't  possibly  sate  him  ,  he  listened  away  .  "  saying  they  wouldn't  have  hurt  you  is  exactly  why  i  didn't  let  you  stay  .  "  her  view  of  these  men  ,  this  situation  was  askew  .  "  guys  like  that  would  gun  down  their  own  mothers  .  what  makes  you  so  special  ?  "

"then you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore ," feels dumb saying it out loud , but she knows how she can be . she wasn't always easy to deal with . she was loud and selfish , put herself in positions like this without acknowledging the consequences of her actions .

      "  if  you  really  wanna  protect  me  ,  you'll  never  say  some  shit  like  that  again  .  "  or  put  him  in  the  position  to  be  haunted  by  her  loss  .  he  loved  her  brother  like  he  was  on  of  his  own  and  if  anything  were  to  happen  to  her  under  his  watch  ,  he'd  never  be  able  to  look  him  in  the  eye  again  .

"that i was protecting you ," but really , she wasn't thinking at all .

      "  as  long  as  my  father  lives  and  breathes  ,  i'm  the  most  protected  man  in  this  city  .  you  could've  gotten  yourself  killed  — and then what ?  "

a low chuckle rumbles from his chest, tongue brushing over his bottom lip. " nice, " repeats, the word tasting funny on his tongue. " i suppose i'll take what i can get. " lips twitch into a smirk, ocean hues lingering on her face. it's been months since he's been this close to anyone, and it takes all his self-control not to reach for her, to finally bridge the space between them. he wants to do this the right way, to make sure she wants it as badly as he wants her before he allows himself to let his guard down. " generous of you. i suppose that if i came all this way, i might as well eat something. "

      her  gaze  softens  at  the  sound  of  his  laughter  ,  a  faint  smile  tugging  at  the  corner  of  her  own  lips  .  she  holds  his  stare  ,  her  own  eyes  glinting  with  an  invitation  that  she  doesn't  voice  outright  .  "  i  think  i'd  miss  it  if  you  go  too  soon  ,  "  it's  meant  to  sound  lighthearted  ,  flirty  even  ,  but  there's  an  unmistakable  desperation  beneath  the  cut  .  lets  the  silence  stretch  ,  her  fingers  teasing  the  hem  of  the  only  dress  she  owned  while  every  nerve  alight  with  the  closeness  of  him  .  "  it  was  quite  the  trek  you  made  ...  "  words  falter  ,  a  soft  hitch  in  her  breath  she  doesn’t  allow  herself  to  acknowledge  ,  "  must've  worked  an  appetite  ,  hm  ?  "

matthew    broome    in    my fault:    london. ( part one. )    in    the    source    link,    you'll    find    #240    gifs ( #520 total. )    of    matthew    broome    in    my fault:    london.    please    do    not    edit    these    gifs    without    asking    me    first,    do    not    use    these    gifs    in    taboo    or    celebrity    roleplays,    and    do    not    repost    or    claim    the    content    as    your    own.    trigger    warnings:    drinking,    partial  nudity,   eating, kissing.    please    give    this    post    a    like    or    a    reblog    if    you    plan    on    using    these    gifs.    enjoy!

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" third date ? " repeats, arching a perfectly manicured eyebrow at him. " you're getting a little ahead of yourself, don't you think ? " still, doesn't argue too much. doesn't tell him he's wrong. because deep down, she knows how this goes. how it's always gone. she tells herself that it is just dinner, that she can keep her heart guarded this time, but she's already teetering too close to the edge. " let's survive the first one before you start planning the sequel. " she teases, slender arms still crossed over her chest. " also, i'm allergic to seafood, so if you try to impress me with some fancy oyster bar, i will take it personally. "

      "  i  knew  that  ,  "  he  knew  a  lot  of  things  about  her  ,  things  the  average  person  would  overlook  .  but  it  was  like  every  time  she  opened  her  mouth  to  speak  ,  even  when  her  words  weren't  directed  at  him  ,  he  felt  inclined  to  listen  and  absorb  .  "  i  mean  ,  i  remember  you  mentioning  it  once  .  "  doesn't  want  her  to  overthink  it  it  ,  afraid  she  may  change  her  mind  if  she  does  .  so  he'll  pair  his  statement  with  a  shrug  to  keep  it  casual  as  if  it  doesn't  matter  .  "  i'm  not  really  seafood  guy  myself  .  fancy  restaurants  make  me  feel  out  of  place  .  "  he  didn't  know  why  he  was  saying  this  ,  "  i  guess  i  thought  maybe  i  could  take  you  to  a  spot  i  know  —  a  dive  bar  .  beer  ,  wings  ...  just  talk  ,  you  know  ?  "

of course she forgives him — just like that, like it's nothing. like it didn't matter. perhaps he's nothing but a spoiled rich kid that gets away with anything, but when can anyone blame him if people keep letting him ? if every mistake is brushed aside ? perhaps it's part of the reaosn why he doesn’t know how to mean an apology — why he's always expecting to be forgiven before he even asks. " you didnt say her name, but you thoguht it. and mayeb that's does tell me something, " the male points out with a soft shrug. " why does it have to be a choice between you and her ? she's my best friend, you know that. "

      her  hands  come  up  ,  middle  and  index  resting  against  her  temples  as  she  stared  blankly  into  to  his  eyes  .  he  couldn't  be  serious  ...  could  he  ?  "  oh  my  god  ,  "  she  exhales  ,  before  breaking  into  a  somewhat  delirious  fit  of  laughter  .  when  she  finally  comes  to  ,  all  she  can  do  is  marvel  at  how  painfully  unaware  he  could  be  all  the  time  .  "  she's  in  love  with  you  ,  val  .  everyone  can  see  it  .  "  except  him  ,  apparently  .  "  all  this  time  i  thought  you  looked  at  me  differently  because  i  went  after  you  despite  knowing  how  spencer  felt  but  ...  wow  ,  you  really  just  didn't  care  ,  did  you  ?  "

"i'm out of chances , bennett ." doesn't even look at him as she talks , refusing to tear her walls down just to feel like a god damn fool again . she was strong-willed and stubborn , but beneath it all , still garners a soft spot for a chance at love that didn't exist .

      "  i  know  …  i  know  i’ve  fucked  up  ,  "  his  voice  is  low  ,  hoarse  with  the  rawness  of  regret  as  he  steps  forward  .  tilts  his  head  trying  to  catch  her  eye  ,  but  she  refuses  to  meet  his  gaze  .  eventually  his  chest  collapses  as  he  releases  a  breath  he'd  been  holding  before  sinking  down  next  to  where  she  sat  ,  "  how  can  i  fix  this  ...  what  can  i  do  ?  please  —  saffron  ,  just  fucking  look  at  me  ,  talk  to  me  ,  i  can't—  i  won't  leave  ,  not  like  this  .  "