mysterious pervert dot tumblr dot com

is the only woman Samantha says she'd make a move on Kiwi? she's like, "I would have made a move on her if Mongo wasn't right there" which first off,, hilarious. but is there any other women Samantha shows interest in? I feel like she's usually more about the guys.

The concept of Samantha being hereroflexible but only for dinosaurs or bears

oh I cannot WAIT to read this

He he…..I’d let him install something int—(I am dragged screaming into the Nothing by the dungeon ai never to be heard from again)

“You can’t fix him” I don’t wanna fix him! I wanna FUCK him! I’m a pervert not a psychologist!

that’s my boyfriend<3

dungeon crawler carl is fun because you go into it thinking it'll be an unserious, fun and gratuitously violent action book, and then you get to the very first boss, and then you think, now hold on. Hold on. And then all of a sudden you're seven books deep and insane and also holding on to the indomitable human spirit for dear life and also a crab has to jack off. like holy shit dude. i've got relentless hope and found family in one hand and the world's weirdest foot fetish in the other

it feels like a water balloon of Respect Women Juice. there's this thin skin of litRPG/shonen story, where you are presented with carl, a very bigstrong tall handsome coast guard mechanic. and you're like 'ok cool time to watch a very manly man do man things like blow shit up and kick monsters to death and get ever more capable of solving all his problems with violence' and then almost immediately carl gets locked into appeasing the dungeomaster's foot fetish, because the alternative is dying. all around him women are complex, nuanced people with their own hopes and fears all making a wide variety of good and bad decisions, and at every turn carl would like to know as little as possible about their sex lives. his own consists of a camwhore pedicure routine every night. meanwhile the author is reaching out of the book every couple chapters to write EAT THE RICH really big on your throat. i love this show.

im so obsessed with the face he’s making. he’s not even concerned about the bear. canonically while he was en route to this horny solo death trap quest he was worrying quietly about donut’s socio-emotional development so im imagining heather the bear rolling at him at top speed as he texts mordecai like “do you think i should like do school with her during the day. obviously we have a lot of monsters to blow up but what if she needs to do long division at some point??? I should set up a play date for her with….someone. i’ll think of someone. she’s obviously a genius with one billion charisma I just think she needs to learn to talk about her emotions in a healthy way before the lazers from her eyes get more powerful and her pet velociraptor gets any fucking bigger” like yes carl baby I think you should homeschool your cat to your hearts content. however the worms, !

terrible day not to be into feet but great day to have eyes

Everyone’s a human au where Donut is a beauty pageant kid and Carl is fighting Beatrice for custody, Mordecai is his lawyer and the dungeon ai is the judge who wants to fuck Carl