From Clueless to Thai

This is why I haven't written a blog post in over a month. (I think?) I am in 100% denial that I am leaving in T-minus 9 days.

In a lot of ways I feel panicked. I have many things to do. Shopping, homework, wrapping up Thai lessons, saying thank you to a hundred people, good bye parties, packing, and saying goodbye. Part of my response to stress is to procrastinate. I clean, watch Whose Line reruns, do my nails, and shower instead of sitting down and getting things done.

My other response to the list of things is that they're not nearly as important as spending time with people. I am only in Thailand for 9 more days and I have no idea if I will ever see some of these people, or even this country, ever again. As a result, I am constantly battling between Thailand and homework. And unfortunately for my university professor, Thailand always wins. (Sorry Miriam. :( )

Thankfully, I don't have as much to do as I think. I have spent enough time here that words flow easily when I sit down to write, and I have time when I get home to finish things up. I've been slowly but surely finishing things one big chunk at a time.

Right now I am in a car with my Thai teacher Kroo Air and my friend Naomi. We are returning to Phuket from Trang (Air's home province) where we attended a traditional Thai wedding.

It was beautiful but nothing like a western wedding. There was eating all day. The groom arrived at the brides family home to the beat of drums and yelling of his family as they paraded down the street. The ceremony was in the house with Buddhist monks and close family only, and then the bride and the groom spent the rest of the day receiving guests who brought pink envelopes full of money for the new couple in exchange for a small party favour. (I got a small white bowl with orange flowers). Then Kroo Air's uncle set me up with a single relative and I got pulled up onto the dance floor for a traditional Thai dance. The women are supposed to do these really graceful hand movements and the old Thai ladies laughed at me for my attempts. It was amazing and fun and (as always) amazing food.

I am going to miss Thailand so much, but I am also looking forward to some rest and family time before I start my work at Foothills Alliance Church for the summer. I have accepted a position there as a student worker for Intercultural Ministries and I am looking forward to working with one of my best friends and an amazing boss.

I also recently received news of some scholarship money I was awarded. I had thought I hadn't received anything because I did not get an email after the scholarships at Ambrose had been awarded. Turns out the scholarship coordinator emailed my old Hotmail account. I received enough to pay for almost my entire Fall 2015 semester. PTL.

I still have not quite finished fundraising. My account is in the negative by about $300 because Cyndy (my coordinator) sent me enough funds to complete my time here. If you would like to help me make up that deficit, please visit www.ambrose.edu/donate Select onsite/onsite and enter my name in the comments section on the next page. You can also donate via telephone by calling 1-403-410-2000 Thank you so much for your faithfulness to me throughout my time in Thailand.

Please think of me as I finish my many things before I fly on May 7.

Love Bekah

My teacher Air, the bride, and Air’s younger sister before the wedding.

After the groom and his family paraded down the street, he had to go through three “chains” to get to the bride. To get through the chain he had to pay the ones holding it. There is money in the pink envelopes he is holding. The little man in the front was probably very hot after the parade: it was a warm day! haha.

The bride and groom at the beginning of the ceremony with the “best man” and “maid of honour.” I did not take this photo, as only family were allowed inside the house. Thanks Kroo Air!! :) 

During all four years that I lived in residence at Ambrose University, my most favourite way to manage my stress levels was to clean my room and vacuum. I don’t know what it is, but the combination of the action that is vacuuming as well as the satisfaction of a clean floor never ceases to make me feel better. It makes the tension that has been gathering on my shoulders completely melt.

In my house in Thailand, my floor is not carpet. I still vacuum, but it feels less satisfying. Don’t ask me why because I can’t tell you. Carpet vacuuming is just superior in every way.

I remembered my love for vacuuming today and was struck by how many different forms homesickness takes. Sure I miss my family and my friends and the geography of my homeland and the beauty of my city, but I also miss little, almost insignificant things. Most of the time the Big Things come up less frequently than these Little Things: vacuuming, going for Tim’s runs, feeling the cold winter air, catching snowflakes on my tongue.

These last few weeks have had me really exercising my stress management muscles. I have always struggled with anxiety, and being in another country had me holding my breath for the first six months, waiting for it to make an appearance. Of course it did a few weeks ago and now I feel like I am no longer holding my breath. I muscled my way through it, took a mental health day, and remembered to breathe. I feel more relaxed. Partially because I cleaned my room three times. But partially because I have sought professional help in the past, and I have the tools I need to manage my anxiety.

During the months and weeks where I haven’t felt anxious, I’ve wondered if I can still say I have anxiety. Maybe I’m cured. I certainly don’t deserve to talk about it, because my panic attacks don’t happen every day like some people. I feel almost guilty talking about it sometimes (not to mention taking a day off from work because of it), because I feel like I’m very good at proving to everyone (and myself, most of all) that there’s nothing wrong with me, that I am a strong, independent human being, and that I am not crippled by the labels “Generalized Anxiety Disorder” or “Panic Attacks.”

The reflection I had this week was that perhaps always trying to prove that I am strong is not a healthy place to be. Though the humanity in me would like to keep that as the goal, it’s really not a very good goal.

It’s very easy for me to fake authenticity. I can tell you no problem that I have anxiety, and that at its worst I have scary panic attacks where all I can think about is where the nearest toilet is so I can puke. The problem comes when I am in that situation, and I can either face it alone or call for help. I still don’t know how to communicate my anxiety to someone in the moment, because like most people I hate looking weak.

Through all of this I have learned a valuable lesson. There are one hundred and one things that do not change dependent upon what country you live in. Yes, I have been in Thailand for the last seven months. I have seen and touched and learned so many things. But perhaps one of the most valuable things I have learned is that I am still me, with all of my weaknesses and vulnerabilities. We can never hide from that, no matter how hard we try. The best thing I can do, therefore, is face these things as early as I can in my life. It might not make me feel strong, but it will make me feel brave. 

This Thursday is graduation at ACF, and also my last day working with them. On Easter Weekend I will be moving to my mentor’s house for three weeks of house sitting. I will be feeding the cat and the dog, and taking some much needed time to get school work done. I am so thankful that I have some extra time to get myself organized and ready to come home. Previously I thought I only had one week. I think when I forget about stress management, (aka giving myself enough time for things), Someone Else remembers for me. :)

Thank you everyone for your tremendous support. I am now only $400 shy of my fundraising goal. I cannot wait to get home and see you and hug you and tell you I love you in person. I can probably throw in a few stories about Thailand too, if you’d like. ;) Let me know if you have any floors that need vacuuming.

One of my favourite things about Thai language is the use of the word “heart.” (pronounced ‘djai’) I am reading a book from my mentor that outlines a few hundred of these words. One example is cao djai which translated literally is “know in my heart.” This is the word the speaker uses to say “I understand.” A more cultural example is kreng djai, which literally translated means “awe heart” but means the sense of not wanting to impose, or ask directly for what you want/need, especially to someone of higher rank. This idea shapes the way that Thai people communicate with their superiors.

And so yesterday, I went to immigration and discovered how kreng djai really works.

If you know anything about visiting an immigration office in Asia, you know that it can be many hours of waiting, and sometimes multiple trips to the immigration building. The first time I had to renew my visa, my co-workers and I had to visit immigration seven times because there was a lot of missing paperwork that we didn’t know about.

Needless to say, I was nervous to go again for my second renewal because I was worried that there would be more additional paperwork that I did not yet know about. Any time I have an important deadline (such as my visa expiry date) I am nervous. And so I drove down on my motorcycle and got there before it opened so that I could get in the queue. I was number eight in the line. When it was my turn, I presented my paper work. The man gave me a form and told me I needed to bring it back the next day. But he accepted my application and asked for the payment anyways, which was so amazing.

Unfortunately, when I looked in my purse to pay him, I had no money. My heart dropped, and I could hear it pounding in my ears. Internally freaking out, I calmly asked the man if there was an ATM nearby. I apologised profusely in Thai, and explained that I had forgotten to stop and get money. He shook his head at me (tisk tisk) and said “okay, I will pay for you and you will pay me back tomorrow.” I was in a state of disbelief. In shock I nodded, and waited for my receipt. “Don’t forget!” He teased me, as I thanked him on my way out. “I won’t.” I promised him.

It would have never been appropriate for me to ask him to lend me the money. Even in Canada this would be very inappropriate. But this man had djai dee: a good heart. I stated that I did not have money, indirectly (and unbeknownst to me) giving him the oppourtunity to help, or not to help. Therefore I had kreng djai by not imposing, and he had djai dee by offering to help me. In Buddhist thought, the motivation for having a good heart is to make merit for the next life.

In the book I referenced, “Heart Talk” by Christopher G. Moore, he explains good heart this way:

"djai dee is a common response in Thai when you perform an unrequested act of kindness or assistance. The key is that the action to help another, whether financially or personally, has not been requested. In the Thai social system, requesting something exposes you not only to rejection but is a basic violation of the kreng djai… An important part of this consideration is not to ask or request your superior, your elder, your employer for something directly. Through indirect means, the need or desire might be communicated, leaving the ‘higher’ ranked person with full discretion whether to act or not to act. To act in favor of the person who wants but is constrained from asking is jai dee." (pg. 45-46)

This is exactly what happened at immigration yesterday and I am so thankful. It was not only hugely helpful for my visa process, (I got my freshly stamped passport back that morning, before I had paid the official back or given the extra document he needed), but it also taught me something very important culturally. It is amazing that I am able to experience these kind of things and understand Thailand better. I love it so much.

To my family, thanks for thinking of me as I went through this process: it is the last time I’ve had to do this before I return home! I’m sorry I did not tell everyone. Stay tuned for a blog post bemoaning how I have no idea how to communicate how amazing this experience has been in a meaningful but brief way when I return.

Love Bekah

A cute cafe I visited this weekend where I ate coconut milk banana cinnamon oatmeal out of a coconut husk. DELISH. Also slightly fancy schmancy.

AMY, MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD EVER, is visiting for two weeks starting today. I am currently waiting for the taxi to arrive to take me to the airport. WOOT. We will be spending a night in this hotel that's almost 100 years old right in the middle of Old Town Phuket. Also The Beach, with Leonardo DiCaprio was filmed here. 

This is my Thai BFF May. I've spent several evenings with her at the market. Here we are with the CUTEST LITTLE ICE CREAM CONES. 

Then we bought this squid and ate it. May deboned and cut into little pieces, but not before she accidentally punctured the ink sac with her knife. I freaked out because it looked like squirting blood and I thought it was her hand!!! Then she quickly boiled it until it was cooked but still tender. Then she put five chilies in a blender with some lime juice and probably some sugar and we dipped the squid in that concoction. OMNOMNOM. (I should know better than to eat before I visit a Thai household. I definitely ate two dinners that day.) 

There was excitement in the Big Idea of "Thailand" before I left that one day in September. I had pictures of beaches and people and palm trees and coconuts and big spiders and asian people and a new language and markets and food in my head. These things made up the mosaic of "onSite in Thailand" before I got here. It was one grand picture. 

However today, I laughed with my friend Mae (we understand each other maybe 60% of the time), and waved at her family as I passed by their house on my way home. I gave her baby girl a high five. I drove my motorcycle down a busy street and watched people on their motorcycles stop at homes and restaurants and Family Marts and Seven Elevens. If they didn't stop, they gave a friendly beep as they drove past. I watched a man with a weathered face and a hand-rolled cigarette in his mouth replace the worn and cracked front wheel of my bike, all the while talking with each person who happened through his little shop. I went for a run and ran past hard working athletes of many ethnic backgrounds. You can tell who the Thai people are by the beaming bright smiles that light up their faces when you offer a smile first. 

Today I realised that while the big idea of Thailand generates excitement, these small things are what make me fall in love with Thailand. Thailand has beaches and beauty and food and culture; but Thailand is the smiles of her people, the smells of cooking and smoke in her streets, the sounds of children and grandparents and parents and motorcycles on a busy school corner, and the thousands of Family Marts that mark the streets and divide the dusty brown houses and homemade businesses from each other. 

It's a simple enough revelation, and maybe I'm being a little over-poetic. But it makes me look closer. Because there's so much more than the big picture, and it's easy to forget that. 

Love Bekah 

In Thai, the word for butterfly translates literally to "ghost shirt" because butterflies look like a shirt (?) and they fly. So it's a shirt that is a ghost. When I found this out in class the other day I wrinkled my nose and told my teacher "THAT'S SO CUTE!"

I don't really know what it means that I love Thai so much. Does it mean that I am destined to be a multi-lingual person? Or is it only Thai that I love? Should I study greek and hebrew? That would be interesting and possibly just as fun. But I just don't know.

If I'm being honest, part of it is a pride thing. They told me Thai was a hard language. So I was like YEAH I'M GONNA DO THIS GOOD. So some days I'm like "Yeah I can write my name in Thai!!!" and then other days I'm like "WHY CAN'T I SPELL ANYTHING."

And so the nerd in me has changed my phone to Thai (eventually I'm going to get annoyed at this. But for now I'm finding it interesting), dowloaded the Thai keyboard to my computer, and has almost considered adding the Thai spelling of my name to my Facebook account. But I think that might be going too far.

When I'm listening to the right degree of wistful music, I can see myself living in Thailand for a long time. I have made some Thai friends whom I love very dearly. One friend is Mae, and she's the same age as me. She doesn't know much english so I'm forced to use what Thai I know and what english she knows to communicate. But she has a beautiful baby girl and she is the most friendly fun person I have ever known. Sometimes I hop on the back of a bike with her and we run errands around town before lunch. (And by sometimes I mean it happened once but I want to do it again because it was SO MUCH FUN.) She tells me every day "I LOVE YOUUU!" and I think it's going to break my heart to say goodbye to her.

I think that the biggest things I am learning here are about the pieces of a puzzle entitled "What Rebekah Will Do When She Grows Up." I don't know yet what that is. People ask me if I'll be overseas. I don't know. I do know I love people. I love public speaking. I love writing. I love academia. I love creating vision. I love encouraging. I love teaching. I love mentoring. I love administration. I love fun and laughter and joy. If anyone has an available job that includes all of those things, let me know.

Love Bekah (Just in case your wondering, Bekah in Thai looks like: เบ็ขกา้ )

A waterfall in a national park by Chiang Mai.

Behold a beautiful ghost shirt from Chiang Mai.

I touched an elephant for the first time. It was amazing. To see more pictures, follow THIS LINK RIGHT HERE.

I can't believe that I am over half way through my onSite experience. I feel like I've gotten over the "Oh my gosh I am in a completely different country this is so weird!" phase, and I feel quite settled. If it weren't for the missing presence of my family and my friends, I would feel 100% comfortable.

I've started back up at work, teaching english at ACF along with some administrative things, and I'm enjoying Thailand on weekends. Recently that's been looking like extra time in my bed recuperating from sickness, but my best friend comes in a little over a month so don't worry--I'll get more adventuring in to share with you before I come back. :)

I have been so blessed financially that I raised enough money to make it this far into my internship without needing more! My goal was $8000, and up to this point I have raised $6000 in total. My flight is completely covered, as well as all of my accommodation and food so far, language school, and my motorcycle Ralph. I am SO thankful!

That being said, I have calculated all of my costs and I am now short the $2000 that will pay for my last 3.5 months here: rent, gas, food, 20 more hours of in-class language study (I just can't get enough of it!!), and the cost of the conference I am attending at the end of the month. So if you've been wondering about me financially, that is how I am doing!

As always, please continue to pray for the rest of my time here: for my relationships with people here, that I would soak up as much as I can learn from Thailand before I go home, and that I would be healed of sickness completely so I can be a blessing to the people I am here to work with.

If you are able to give, I would be very grateful. I am seriously so thankful that I have not had to worry about money while I have been here. I worry about money when I am the one that has to work for enough to pay for what I need, but all of a sudden here I am completely dependent upon those who love me and care for me enough to give money to support me. And I'm not worried any more. I feel complete peace, and words cannot describe how thankful I am for that.

Here is the link if you've lost it: donate HERE

Remember to select onSite/inSite and put my name in the notes on the next page. :)

If you would like to pay via phone, you can call Ambrose at 1-403-410-2000

Thanks again, and I hope you are all well. I will keep you posted and let you know as soon as I have received enough funds. I can't wait to return to Canada and share with you the beautiful places and people that make Thailand amazing. :)

Yup. It's true. Three weeks ago I started coughing. And coughing. It started out as a dry cough but soon moved down into my lungs. Here is my experience at the Phuket International Hospital. Anything italicized means speaking in Thai.

Last Wednesday I met with my mentor Bonnie. Upon hearing my gross cough, she said "time to see a doctor." I apologize to my friends and co-workers for having to listen to said gross cough for the last three weeks.

So I finished coffee with my mentor and headed straight to the Phuket International Hospital. Thankfully this hospital is very close to where I live. I walked in and asked to see a doctor because of a cough. The nurse I spoke with was like "sure, this way please" and we walked towards a waiting room. (Side note: Thai hospitals are SO MUCH MORE EFFICIENT than Canadian hospitals. Also they are super polite and each nurse or staff member personally shows you where you need to be). She asked me how long I had had the cough for, and I said 2-3 weeks.

"Oh." she said, and promptly turned on her heel straight back to the registration desk we had come from. She got me a face mask and made me put it on. #embarrassing. Then she sent me to get an xray. I finished the chest xray and was escorted to a second waiting room. The nurse I met there took my temperature, blood pressure, etc. while asking me questions in Thai. It was awkward because my hospital vocabulary is not well developed and also she spoke very softly. I had a hard time understanding her. The conversation went something like this:

Do you speak Thai? Yes, a little bit. Okay. Do you have a headache? Fever? Pain in your throat?

She had to repeat nearly every question to me, using some English because I could not understand. Eventually I told her "Sorry my ears are not good." and she spoke a little more clearly. She weighed and measured me and then I waited only about 15 minutes to see the doctor.

The doctor was nice. She spoke english well and asked me a bunch of questions. She told me the xray was totally clear (praise the Lord), but that I have bronchitis. Bummer. She said she was giving me a vapor treatment (to open up my bronchial tubes) and some antibiotics. Our conversation took 5 minutes. I was then escorted to a treatment room where they hooked me up to some oxygen with the vapor treatment. (OXYGEN BONUS. For those that may not know, oxygen is good to boost energy, wake you up, and also help a hangover. Not that I've personally experience the latter. But YEAH oxygen!)

It went well, except for after the treatment was over I was SUPER shaky. Like a slight drug withdrawal kind of shaky, to give you a bit of a mental picture. It was so awkward trying to get money out of my purse to pay for my visit and drugs. It cost about $90 for the doctor visit, xray, vapour, and drugs. That's not including any insurance. I'll (hopefully) get that reimbursed when I submit the receipt later. Talk about cheap medical care!!!

What happened next was like something from a sitcom. After I paid, I was pointed to the pharmacy at the next window. I gave my name, and the pharmacist started handing me drugs. 

"This is antibiotics for the bronchitis." "This one is steroids for your lungs." "This one is is for the congestion in your nose." "This one is for the mucus in your throat.

I said "Okay" after she handed me each medication, expecting each one to be the last. I almost laughed out loud when they kept coming. #muchcomedy 

I left the hospital trying to steady my shaking hands, and made a very precarious drive home on my motorcycle. Thankfully, if you will recall, this hospital is literally a 2 minute drive to my house. Again: praise the Lord. (I recovered from the side effects in about an hour.)

All that being said, I am feeling much better. My lungs are clear, I can take a deep breath without coughing, and my energy is up. The only problem is the nausea that comes with the antibiotics. The last time I was on antibiotics I had similar nausea and I was not able to eat well while I was on them. Please pray that I will recover from this quickly.

This has been perhaps the most frustrating part of my experience not just in Thailand, but over the course of my academic career. I am frequently getting sick and requiring antibiotics. I can't tell you how many times I've had to ask for extensions on assignments because of the strep throat that I get twice a year.

This is frustrating because I was brought up and taught to work hard. I learned this from my parents, whom have always been very hard workers. If I do not put hard work before myself, I feel guilty because I value hard work. I feel like I am not doing enough. I want to do my best in everything I do. But when my health prevents that, I feel like SUCH a wimp. And I hate that.

So I'm not entirely sure how to deal with this part of my life yet. It's gonna start with a meeting with my doctor in Canada when I get back to get my health thoroughly checked out. But until then I'm going to need a lot of patience with myself. I'm going to have to suck it up and take the time I need to rest and recover so that I can get back to working hard. I can't help the frustrating nature of this. But at least I'm aware of it.

I hope this comes across as frank and not whiny. I know many people in the world have it worse than me, and that makes it difficult for me to talk about my health. But I also know I have to deal with the realities that I face in my life. I hope I can do that well.

Bronchitis. Ain't nobody got time for that. But I guess I'm going to have to make time. Please pray for my patience.

Love Bekah

After about a month of my arriving in Thailand, it became clear to me that I was going to go stir crazy If I did not acquire my own mode of transportation. So my mentor took me to the licensing office and I got my 1 year Thai motorcycle license. It took a whole day, but I'm pretty proud of myself for passing the test never having ridden a motorcycle before. Then I went onto the Facebook Phuket Buy and Sell and found myself a 2010 Yamaha Mio, 125 cc with mag wheels for $1000. Considering I spend about $10-$15 of gas on it a month, it is definitely saving me money in the long run.

Since that day in early October, I have been thrown into the realm of the Phuket streets, where there are rules you don't learn from a two hour Thai driving video with English subtitles and enchanting special effects. I have collected some of those rules here, for anyone who hopes to find success driving a motorcycle or other vehicle in Phuket. 

1) The rumble strips are everywhere. You don't always know what they mean. Sometimes I think they just put them there for fun.

2) If there is a patch job on the road, AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS. It will likely be worse than what was there before. I can't tell you how many times I've said to myself "Ooh look, what a beautiful square of fresh tarmaaaAAAAAAAKKKK *THUMP**THUMP**THUMP* OW MY BUTT."

3) Drive on the left hand side of the road. Unless you don't feel like it. Then drive on the right hand shoulder with your right blinker on. (This is bad advice).

4) Don't merge into the right hand lane to turn right (remember we're driving on the left hand side) until you have to. If you move over too early a big taxi bus will probably honk at you for being in its way. There seems to be an unspoken rule that bikes are NOT ALLOWED in the right hand (fast) lane. Unless you have to turn right. And even then. Fear the wrath of the taxi drivers. The only other exception is if you drive one of THESE:

(click on the photo for source) These can be seen boldly in the right hand lane any time of day. But mostly from behind.

5) The traffic lights have count down clocks. This is both to your advantage and your disadvantage. There is a 5 second buffer zone between lights, and everyone on the road pays attention to these buffer zones. Are you at the front of the line? Better start rolling at 5 seconds.

6) There are traffic cops with whistles. They whistle at everyone. Don't take it personally. Don't be mad. (This point is for me specifically. I don't know why but I find a person whistling at me to park in a parking lot insanely irritating.)

7) Traffic circles are a big thing here. Literally. Some of them are huge. They don't have a lot of rules. Get in. Get out. People will honk at you if they think you can't see them, not because you don't know what you're doing. Okay maybe also because you don't know what you're doing. The traffic circles take some practice.

8) Most of the time, people don't honk out of anger here. In fact if they do, it can usually be assumed to be a non-Thai person. Instead, horns are used to indicate you're going through the traffic light right before or during the 5 second buffer zone (so people know you're not stopping), or to tell someone you're in their blind spot, or to beep at the annoying motorcyclists in the fast lane.

9) Instead of honking, most drivers flash their lights. The flashing of lights can mean a bad thing or a good thing. If they're speeding up, it means "I'M NOT STOPPING FOR YOU." If they're slowing down, it means "Hey, I see you. Please, go ahead."

10) Driving at night. Contrary to popular belief, Thailand can be cold. Especially at night. In the rain. In shorts and a t-shirt. On a motorcycle. Yes. Been there. Done that.

11) There can be occasional flooding during rainy season. In the event that there is flooding on the road, observe the what the Thai drivers are doing. Are they turning around? You should turn around also. Are they pushing their bikes through the insta-river on the road? Still turn around. On a serious note, rainy season driving can be dangerous. Please drive with caution on wet roads.

12) Finally, go with the flow. The more confidence you have and the more practice you have maneuvering your bike around traffic, the more success you will achieve. Hesitation causes many accidents. Make a decision and go for it. Traffic here seems to be based on a mutual trust that everyone sees everyone and things flow at a pace. If you don't see someone, they'll let you know with a honk. If you can follow the flow, you'll get where you need to go. (I AM SUCH A POET).

I have loved learning how to drive a motorcycle. It's been an excellent challenge, and I'll miss it when I go back to Canada. I will return a way more confident and adept driver, and I'm glad about that.

On a more onSitey note, it is JANUARY and I have been given the opportunity to join a conference for a week in Chiang Mai. It has come up as an unexpected expense, but my plane ticket has been provided for through my mentors: Derek and Bonnie graciously covered the cost of my flight! PTL. Now all I have to cover is the cost of my accommodation and food.

That being said, I have been incredibly blessed with a few consistent givers every month. You know who you are. Thank you so much. I see your names on my financial update and smile. :)

I am still looking for some funds to cover this trip and my last few months here, so if you would like to support me financially please e-mail me at [email protected], or follow this link: https://www2.ambrose.edu/donate. Select "onSite/inSite" in the drop down menu, and on the next page put my name in the comment section.

I am currently looking into a way to share my onSite photographs with you. I can only do ten at a time on this blog, and I have an album of 80 I'd like to share. If you have any ideas (other than Facebook) let me know!!

I love you all. Safe driving.

Love Bekah

p.s. Here are some pictures of me snorkeling at Raya Island, compliments of my friend Charlotte's roomate's underwater camera:

Hello everyone!

My mother told me she was tired of seeing a picture of a toilet on the church bulletin board. That is not my motivation for finally blogging. (Okay so maybe it is a little bit. Sorry mom. haha.)

Life here has been busy. The last few weeks I have spent at work helping set up for ACF's annual Christmas event. I gotta tell you, Thai people certainly go all out when it comes to celebration events. There is no such thing as simply putting a tablecloth on the welcome table. You also have to pin it into an intricate design to make it look absolutely fabulous. I don't have a picture and I tried to Google it but I couldn't find anything that looked like it. It was a lot of work (the whole thing, not just the tablecloths), but was a wonderful experience. It poured rain right after the program finished, which was a blessing and a curse. We ate dinner inside and under tarps after frantically covering the sound system with tarps. For pictures visit Asia Center Foundation's Facebook page. :)

I've started to read and write in Thai. IT IS SO MUCH FUN. I love it. Seriously. Thai makes so much more sense once you can read and write. I've even downloaded the Thai keyboard to my phone so I can learn how to type! Woot!!

I know all but 11 of these.

I've been feeling a bit down and out with a weird throat cold these past few days: coughing but so far no sore throat or runny nose or headache. Plus I haven't been sleeping well these past few weeks. Which makes me feel like I am unable to put in 110% which is super frustrating for me. I suppose I'm learning the importance of rest for a not-so-fantastic immune system. Hopefully I will spring back quickly after my Christmas holiday.

Tomorrow I will go to Koh Phi Phi with my friend Charlotte. It is a beautiful island a two hour ferry ride from Phuket and I will spend two nights in a gorgeous hotel. This is my Christmas present to myself from some money I saved up over the summer. :) I promise many beautiful pictures.

For the rest of my break I will be preparing a sermon, organizing my academic life, finishing up some financial tracking, singing at our first annual Christmas Eve service, and dog sitting for one night. I think I am most excited for dog sitting. Just kidding. I'm excited for everything (except for maybe the finance stuff lol). I hope you are having a wonderful Christmas season. Please know that I miss you (and your snow) very very much.

ฉันรักคุณ (I love you)

Bekah

Shower curtains? What are those?

I have a super cute bathroom that has a sink, a toilet, and a shower complete with water heater. But nope, you guessed it, no shower curtain. At first, it was the weirdest thing ever. I felt so exposed. Without that curtain of comfort what am I going to do if someone makes it past the locked bathroom door?

(thank you tripadvisor.com for the perfect photo)

The answer is you have one less thing to clean/disinfect/descale in your life. Also, I was remembering showering in a tub with a shower curtain from wall to wall and feeling rather claustrophobic!  I can just imagine showering without it when I get home and having my mother find the mess later. heeheehee.

If it's any consolation, the entire bathroom is tile, and the place where you shower is usually a little lower. So as long as the toilet seat is up and your clothes are tucked safely in a corner far away, you don't have to worry about anything getting wet that won't dry on its own in 20 minutes or so.

Perhaps this is too much information and I should move on.

The following are some cultural revelations I have recently had:

1. It's rude to pick up your bowl to eat if you are dining with company. This is opposite to other countries where it's encouraged. As a result, when the kids at PCC eat they sit in rows with their bowls in front of their crossed legs. (A way to avoid pointing your feet at someone.)

2. If it has chicken feet in it, there is a 90% chance it is spicy. Good. But spicy.

3. If it looks like ground beef, it's pork. It's also spicy. Very spicy. Beef here is very expensive. So if you don't eat pork and are looking for a cheap vaycay spot, I don't recommend Thailand.

4. Actually, just assume that everything is going to be spicy, and then be pleasantly surprised on the off chance that it's not.

5. Laughter does not always mean happiness. I was told this by my mentor when I first arrived, but I have since experienced it first hand. If someone is embarrassed, for example, they laugh. I don't always know how to respond, but an encouraging smile is usually my go-to.

6. One of biggest threats to a child's happiness is a broken family. (I don't just mean divorce either). I am not qualified to speak a lot on the topic, because I am no psychologist. But from the things I have seen, Canada's divorce rates are a walk in the park compared to here. A lot of family situations here are dark in a way I have never encountered before. Not that manipulation and infidelity do not happen in Canada, but it seems to happen here at a staggering rate. And its effect on the children I have seen is devastating. There's a lot more to it, but I won't go into it because I don't feel qualified or prepared enough to give an accurate representation of what's really going on.

Finally, I have learned that no matter what country I'm in, the best way to get productive is to clean and rearrange some furniture. I love rearranging furniture.

Some things will never change.

Love Bekah

p.s. I started learning the Thai alphabet today. 44 consonants and I don't actually know how many vowels. Wikipedia tells me at least 28.

"Mai dee, eh?" I said to the man who had just pushed his motorcycle out of the flash flood on the road ahead of me. Translation: "Not good, eh?" I laughed at myself, but I don't think he got it.

We're hitting November (Preut sa jii ga yon.... I still haven't figured out yet why it takes so long to say November in Thai) and the rainy season is supposed to be ending. But this weekend I was house sitting for the Herbolt's while they were on their visa run, which required a longer drive to work than usual. I encountered the following problem after a particularly heavy rain storm:

Needless to say I did not attempt to cross it. Partially for my own safety, and partially for my mother's sake. (You're welcome mom). Instead I went down and around the island and took the long way to work. I love driving my motorcycle. But that was a long hour I did not particularly want that day.

Here is my bike. For those who would care to know, it's a 2010 Yamaha Mio, 125cc. Not a lot, but enough to get my over Phuket's hills. I am currently accepting name suggestions:

On Friday the kids at PCC (Patong Childcare Center) learned how to make sushi. The teachers and I used the left over ingredients to make sushi pretty enough to sell to the parents (some of the kids even broke out their allowance!) after school. All of that money goes straight back into PCC. K. Nes is quite the entrepreneur, and sells anything she can think of. (She even made me "buy" my own PCC shirt as pictured below! lol. I gladly obliged.)

For Halloween I went to the Burnett's house to carve pumpkins while the kids went trick-or-treating. We dressed Matthew up as a Canadian Mountie. #pride

My most recent adventure involved some scissors, a garbage can, and google. Yup. I cut my own hair. I was tired of it looking *thhhhph.* I can deal with most things, if I am happy with my hair. When I am not happy with it, my life tends to fall apart a little. I might be being a little mellow dramatic, but needless to say I took some drastic measures on Saturday and cut off several inches (haha. Punny). It took me two hours. I want to say it took three hours. But that might be an exaggeration.

It's curling a lot nicer now. I will not be straightening it any time soon because I'm sure it was a bit of a hack job and I don't want to know how badly I butchered it. It looks good curly and we shall leave it at that.

Finally, the boyfriend. We've been skyping and texting and doing things that long distance people do. We also take screen shots of the frozen Skype. Where his tend to look something like this:

#dreamy

Mine usually end up looking like this:

I'm posting this here with the explicit purpose of keeping him from using this picture as blackmail. If I share it with the world it no longer holds power. (ILOVEYOUUUUUU ;)

Needless to say, I've been keeping busy!! Between the driving and the teaching English and the planing and the studying Thai and the playing with the children and the doing art with the kids I live with.... Let's just say I am very happy. I certainly miss Canada, and I've had my days. But it really helps that my job is one that I don't have to drag myself out of bed to go to. #best #blessed

I'm sorry.

Here is the quick(ish) version of what's up with me:

1. I started teaching English to the teachers at Patong Childcare Center last week. I love it, and its a great challenge.

2. I have been helping to lead worship at church. Also a good challenge and has been stretching me musically which is fun.

3. I got my Thai motorcycle license! This not only allows me to travel freely throughout the island on a 2010 Blue Yamaha Mio (which I'm getting tomorrow hopefully), but also gets me discounts at things like museums and tourist sites. Woot! I budgeted $200/mo for travel expenses, and by buying this bike I may even save money on that front. Yay! 

4. I spend my free time studying Thai, preparing English lessons, and playing with the kids I live with. We do art projects (this week we made finger paint out of cornstarch, water and food colouring) and I've been reading them The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe before bed.

5. Financial update: last I heard, I am so thankful to report that I will not have to worry about funds. I have been so blessed! I've not quite raised the full amount I need, but it's close! I certainly have enough for what I need now. I suspect I will have a little extra funds at the end of my stay here, and in that case that money will either stay in Phuket, or be passed on to a new onSiter to bless them in their pursuit of cross cultural work, or both. I am so thankful to be loved by so many people! On that note, please don't stop giving yet! I will definitely let you know when I've reached my goal, and even then feel free to give until my return in May: the extra funds will be a blessing to Phuket and Ambrose!!

6. I'm looking into volunteering at an animal shelter once a week. I miss my dog, and volunteering is a great way to make more connections in Phuket. I believe there are many English-speaking foreigners in Phuket who are wanting a community, and I want to go out and look for some. (While simultaneously fulfilling a dream of always wanting to volunteer with animals. Dogs, specifically.)

Life certainly has picked up this past week. I'm finding more and more of my week day evenings are being filled up with activities and homework and planning and skype dates. I've been working out in the mornings and have started to feel better about my health since arriving to Phuket.

Something that Thai people have no problem discussing is body weight and size. Thai people are mostly skinny and straight, and so when a curvy foreigner is amongst them (that's me), they love to touch the tummy and exclaim how much weight said person has gained. Because I know it's a cultural thing, I don't take it personally. I even found it a little funny. It certainly challenges my ideas about body positivity that's for sure.

In a way, I almost appreciate the frank way Thai people speak about the body. Sure, often they go "to far" according to my western point of view, but it is somewhat refreshing to talk about it instead of skirting around such a "sensitive issue" when it should not always be one. Everyone is different, and it should be celebrated! I'm not so naive to think that the way the Thai people look at body image is all good, but neither is the Western way of looking at body image. It simply makes me think more critically about the flaws of my own system. I think that's a pretty good thing.

Finally, food. Food should be celebrated. Good food is a gift from God. I love Thai food.

The end.

When I was a little girl, I once said I wished I could give everyone in the world 1 million dollars. The teacher I made this comment to tried to explain to me why that wouldn't work, but how could she? I had no concept of finances other than my simple ability to add quarters and loonies and toonies, and the idea that a million dollars could fix a lot of problems.

I think I would not have been able to truly understand what she was trying to explain to me had I not come to Thailand. (Or gone to any other 2nd or 3rd world country for that matter). My idea of what is cheap, and what is expensive, has had to radically shift in my first few weeks of being here. Because though $25 for a manicure and shellac nail polish might be cheap for Canada, it is expensive for Phuket. I almost don't even convert how much something costs in my head anymore: because I know that an item of clothing more than 1000 THB is WAY TOO MUCH MONEY to be spending. Never mind the fact that it's only $35 CDN. The reasonable/cheap amount to be spending is around anywhere from 100-300 THB. I glance at a price tag and I'm able to tell if the price is reasonable (most of the time, anyways).

I think the deeper thing I'm recognizing here is that I cannot keep understanding Thailand as I understand Canada. Tourists come here and spend their money using what can look like reckless behaviour, because for us things here are "cheap." We are always comparing to what it's like back home.

And I suppose to a point that way of thinking is inevitable. But it's also not the way to survive in a country if you're truly trying to be a part of it and understand it.

So instead, there are two categories that have made themselves at home in my head. One is Canadian. One is Thai. One thinks in quarters and loonies and toonies, and one thinks in Baht. One says it is cheap to live here, the other says this is what's normal. Neither one knows much about the other except that there's a number (30 THB to 1 CND) that doesn't actually explain their differences well enough.

Money is a difficult thing and I know I will struggle with the idea of it for the rest of my life. But today I am thankful for a different perspective to show me what my small self could not understand: Everyone in the world does not need a million dollars.

Love Bekah

I've been here for nearly a month now.

1. My cellphone bill is nearly up. I won't tell you how much I'm paying. I will tell you that I'm not paying TWELVE DOLLARS for call display. I'm not bitter, Canada. Not bitter at all. (Read: sarcasm.)

2. I'm starting to compile my first month's costs (financial update to come via next blog post).

3. Today I ate my first whole fish. Tasted like Tuna. I was the last one at the table. Benz (my host) said to me "welcome to Asian food." as I sat there picking and flaking and trying not to eat the tiny sharp bones the carcass contained. They laughed at me. I was mildly embarrassed. It was good. But so much hard work.

4. Yesterday I had a Filipino dish that involved pigs blood. Laughingly called chocolate pork, it is actually called dinuguan and was quite good. It was thoroughly cooked, and so had no 'blood' smell or taste. It was just like pork in gravy that looked surprisingly like chocolate. MMM.

5. I went to the night market last last weekend with my friend Charlotte. She made me eat bugs.

6. On Friday we took the kids at PCC (Patong Childcare Center) to the Zoo! Animal activists need not know what it was like, but here are some pictures of adorable children.

K. Nes, K. Eid and me. K. Eid is the head teacher at PCC.

7. On Sunday I went to the most beautiful beach of my life ever. The clearest, warmest water I have ever had the privilege of touching.

I apologize for my amateur photography. Still figuring out this beautiful camera my boyfriend JonJon bought for me! (Best boyfriend ever, am I right?)

can you see how clear the water is?

Red and yellow means it's safe (ish) to swim!

This picture didn't turn out like I wanted it to but it's too adorable to not include.

Eliza (I know I spelled that wrong), Matthew, and Judah. Eliza and Matthew are my niece and nephew (the children of my hosts), and Judah is the middle child of a new family from the C&MA here in Phuket! They are traveling in style in the back of a truck. Travel seems uncomplicated here. Need a ride across town? Jump on the back of my truck. Need a ride to the bus? I have three other children on this bike but sure! Hop on! (Not even joking.) While bordering on the unsafe, Thailand makes certain Canadian traffic laws seem somewhat militaristic.

8. After the beach, we went to a Thai Seafood Restaurant. I ate my first muscle, and I will never complain about the "spicy" food at work ever again. Some of those dishes were SO FLAMING HOT. I have been blessed with this incredible ability to eat whatever is put before me without gagging or flinching--maybe breathing in quickly, but no flinching. People call me brave for eating certain things but to me it is no big deal: because food is a big deal in this culture. And what it means to the people feeding it to me matters more than my gag reflex. I am so incredibly thankful that that hasn't been an issue. :)

The kids table! Eliza, Judah, Matthew, Rebecca, Bella, Stena, and Esther.

Naomi, Darren, Rachel, a friend of Weyada's, Mattias with Joseph, and Weyada.

8. Finally, Mountain Equipment Coop sent me an email with the title "Is that a chill in the air?" And I'm over here like "I'M SORRY. I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE COMBINED NOISE OF AIR CONDITIONING AND FANS." Seeing pictures of the beautiful Autumn season makes me only a little sad. It is my favourite season, and I will not feel truly "cold" until I return to Canada in May. I almost want to tell MEC to stop sending me emails. Almost.

Seeing this made me miss Canada, so what I ask of you today is to ENJOY AUTUMN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN FOR ME. Okay? Okay.

Jack fruit. Pineapple. Papaya. Several fruits that I don't know the name for... the fruit here is amazing. Jack fruit is one of my new favourites I think.

My mentor's husband, Derek, said something during one of our dinners out last week that really struck me. He was talking about one of his favourite historical figures, and I can't remember the name of said person. But I certainly remember what Derek said about him:

"For him it was not about the fruit, it was about what God put in front of him for that day."

These words were so encouraging to me, and kind of shocked me out of my reverie. I was listening to the conversation, but there were other guests at the table and I wasn't devoting any attention from the part of my brain that critically engages the topic of discussion.

I don't know why, but that statement just let me breath easy for the first time since arriving the week before. Fruit is important. But focusing on one day at a time comes first. For some reason it took me from thinking about my world in an overwhelmingly holistic way, to more manageable bite sized pieces.

And so I can count in Thai. I know that if the ice has a hole in the middle it's safe. I can eat spicy(er) food. I don't use my feet to point, and I beckon underhanded instead of overhanded.  (It's almost like a shooing movement, instead of a waving over. It's my understanding that waving over is usually used to call a prostitute.)

I am slowly but surely getting used to the humidity, although not yet the heat on a sunny day. I understand why the Thai in Phuket (or anyone else, really) do not walk: because if you walk, you get sweaty. And if you get sweaty, it take a long time and a shower to reverse that feeling. Blech. Might as well pay the 30 baht for a bus, or accept the offer of a ride to the road to catch your bus. (Here I have only seen one bus stop at the mall. Otherwise you just go out to the street, and wave down the bus when it comes by.)

My job is going to be good. There will be fruit. That will be God's blessing. But every day I enjoy the work. There is a lot of awkwardness, because language barrier, but that's ok. That takes time. The people are beautiful. The children are adorable. And I am starting to pick out the single words of Thai that I understand. My "No's" and my "aa-ah!"'s to the children sound more Thai with every hour, and I am learning to be a better teacher every day.

I am not yet home sick. Any time I move to a new place, that usually takes a little while to set in. Yesterday I went to Central (the big mall) and had some Starbucks for tea and McDonald's for supper. Not because I was homesick, but because it's nice to have a touch of "western" in my week as I am settling in here. Honestly I can't complain about the food. For lunch I eat Thai, and for dinner I eat Filipino when I am home. Both are SO GOOD. I am so blessed.

Thank you for your support. I love you all so much, and hopefully I will be able to get out and take some nice pictures soon! (I don't like walking around with a camera hanging around my neck... something about an aversion to looking like a tourist, which comes from living and working in tourist country back home. haha.)