Charlotte REPRESENT

Dead Feminists: Historic Heroines in Living Color - from top left, clockwise… Our beloved sassy Joan Rivers, a comedic icon - and also, this movie is amazing. Mary Tyler Moore, naturally. Also, because men can be feminists too, this year saw the passing of director Jonathan Demme, who did so many strong-female-led films, including Silence of the Lambs and Rachel Getting Married. Iron-Jawed Angels is an inspiring film focusing on suffragettes Alice Paul and Lucy Burns, overcoming major uphill battles to get the 19th amendment passed. Psst, see this movie now! Zora Neale Hurston, who wrote Their Eyes were Watching God. RIP Princess Leia. Shirley Chisolm (she ran for federal office back in the 70s). And of course the Golden Girls - thank God Betty White is still with us!!

Map with directions and pictures of each site can be found at the above link. Here’s the details, friends:

Welcome to the Raven Boys’ hike along the ley lines in search of Glendower, the ancient Welsh king. My name is Blue Sargent and I’ll be your mystery hike leader. However, because for this part of our quest, we’re in Charlotte, NC, which is vast and currently 98 degrees with punishing humidity, you will need to take one of Ronan’s dream cars instead of actually hiking this route. Trust me on this one - even in Virginia, you know we were driving whenever we could.

First Stop: Duck Donuts

1710 Kenilworth Ave.

If you want to track the ley lines, you will need some coffee and donuts first to fortify you. It helps if they can be topped with bacon or Oreos, drizzled with peanut butter, or iced with blackberry glaze.

Second Stop: Paper Skyscraper

330 East Blvd.

Then it’s over to this local gift shop - Persephone ALWAYS needs more candles and maybe you could use some too.

Third Stop: Park Rd. Books

4139 Park Road

Now it’s time for books - this indie spot has a particularly killer YA section, so I’ve heard…

Fourth Stop: Heist Brewery

2909 N. Davidson St.

I envy you for being old enough to partake of the finer local beers and cocktails at this next stop. Rowan with his fake ID has recommended trying out the Pecan Smoked Manhattan or the French I-77, which has local gin, lemon syrup, and champagne.

Final Stop: Amelie’s French Bakery & Cafe

2424 N. Davidson St.

My big competition for goalkeeper, Taylor, got bit this summer, the night of the Fourth of July. She and her brothers were lighting illegal fireworks out on the basketball court, late, after everyone had gone home from the city-sponsored show, and when the cops showed up she ran blindly into the woods toward the park, and that’s where it happened. I didn’t find out until I showed up at tryouts, of course, otherwise I wouldn’t have come, or I would have went out, maybe, for volleyball instead. Because if you’ve seen Teen Wolf (and who hasn’t) you know that no one can beat a werewolf on a court or a field. No one. I looked like an idiot out there.

I decided to walk home to let the sweat my dry on my skin and the humiliation mellow. The sidewalks were dotted with fellow classmates shouldering backpacks and making their own disappointed ways home: the wannabe jock parade. I turned the corner onto my street and found myself on the heels of a blonde girl with her head bent down, looking at her phone, probably. Her wavy hair was twisted up and she wore a leather jacket over denim shorts, a slouchy bag bouncing at her side. An art kid maybe?

At the other end of the street, a car engine roared and we both looked up. I didn’t even see the other thing approach us until it had barreled into her, knocking her through Mrs. Thompson’s honeysuckle bushes. I raced through the break in the sweet-smelling flowers and greenery to find the girl on her knees, straddling the thing, with what looked like a silver letter opener at its throat.  

“You know why,” he growls, his eyes fixed on her hand. “She’s getting tired of waiting for you to bring her what is hers.”

“Well, she can wait until she drops dead,” the girl retorts. “I’m not giving it up until I get my brother back.”

“Just give her the—” the wolf starts, but she cuts him off.

“This is how this is going to go. I’m going to give you a nice little reminder of our time together—” She traces a line in his skin with the blade and a well of red follows. “—then you’re going to crawl back to your den and tell your master that she can meet me tomorrow night outside the school gym at halftime, with my brother, or I’m going to take her precious and bury it in the deepest, darkest hole in the farthest part of the wood I can find and she’ll never see it again.”

“You’re such a b—”

She knees him in the stomach, cutting off his air supply and sentence and waves the letter opener menacingly. “You really wanna go there, fur-brain?”

He scrambles back as she jumps off him and makes a rude gesture as he sprints around the side of the house. I swear he looks a little like one of my classmates but I can’t get a positive ID before I notice those sharp green eyes focus in on me.

I suck in a breath as she darts towards me with the blade still in her hand. “Whoa, whoa, don’t stick me!” I throw my hands up.

“How much did you hear?” she demands.

I weigh my options: should I lie or tell the truth?

“So, Haven, now that we’re BFFs, I’m going to need you to tell me everything you know about Dacey Jacobson.”

I hesitate for a minute.  I do want to help her find her brother, but it almost feels like a betrayal of Emily.  I’d never want to do something that could put her at risk.  On the other hand, there’s no love lost between me and Dacey.  She’s been tormenting Emily, and me by extension, since we were 8 years old.  I guess it’s not that much of a stretch to think she’d be some kind of evil werewolf queen.  La Lupine.  That ridiculous faux French name sounds exactly like something Dacey would give herself.  She could never allow herself to be just a common wolf. Besides, I really wanted to know more about Diana.  She was fascinating and beautiful and could wield a letter opener like a switch blade. 

“How do you feel about coffee?” I asked. “Let me buy you a cup and we’ll talk.”

I told her as much of Dacey as I could manage on the walk over to the only half way decent cafe in town. She was the quintessential “IT” girl who peaked way too soon. After failing out her freshman year and calling it a sabbatical, she’d returned home to torment Emily and by proxy me too. Apparently looks could only get a person so far, and not showing up for class for months on end didn’t bode well with GPA. Only one of the Jacobsen girls had both beauty and brains, and I knew it killed Dacey to see Emily succeed where she had always failed. 

“She’s insecure,” Emily had said after one of her infamous rants. “She doesn’t mean half of what comes out of her mouth.” “That doesn’t mean we have to take it,” I countered. “Why don’t you lure her outside and I’ll accidentally kick a ball into her face.” Emily snorted. “You’d have to make the shot first.” “Touche.” 

Was that only yesterday? I wondered. I shook my head. Time was moving at the speed of a bullet. I hadn’t even called Emily yet to tell her the results of the tryouts. Though by my lack of response, I was sure she had figured it out. My information on Dacey was apparently not as enticing as Diana had expected. That, or the scowl on her face was permanently etched there. The two of us stared at each other in silence, sizing each other up. I knew couldn’t take the girl if she decided she wanted to fight. I mean, I could leave a good mark, but I saw the way she took down that wolf-man, and was no looking for a repeat performance.

“Sooooo,” I drawled out. “I’ve told you all I know. How about you tell me why my home is now infested with a bunch of slobbering dogs and how your family is in the middle of it?”

“Oh really?” I replied, crossing my arms. The espresso was zinging through my veins like a firetruck on fire.  “I don’t think you’re in a position to make that case. Especially since I can offer you a way in to Dacey’s house - I mean, her den.”

“You can?”

“Yeah,” I said, hoping the plan that was starting to form in my brain wasn’t just the caffeine talking. Emily hated her sister enough that I knew she would help me bring her down. “So spill it. Why is our town crawling with furpeople?”

Diana pushed her empty coffee mug away and sighed. “From what I’ve gathered, Dacey was turned right around the time that she failed out of school. And she spent a year or two just, I don’t know, dealing with it. That’s probably why she was extra bitchy to you, with this secret bottled up inside just festering there. So she bit this mechanic dude.”

“I remember her banging some tattooed guy who worked on cars.“

“He’s like her second in command now,” Diana says. “She started calling herself La Lupine, and they’re just terrorizing the town now, trying to turn as many people as they can.”

“What a bitch,” I said. “Not surprised, though.”

“So my little brother, he’s this uber-nerd who thinks he’s like Sherlock Holmes or something. He started sniffing around, trying to figure out how to stop her, and he discovered this thing she had, the source of all of her so-called power. And he took it. So she took him.”

“What was it?” I asked. 

Diana cocked an eyebrow and smiled. “You’re never gonna believe this shit.”

I tilted my head and smirked, barely holding back laughter, “....is that...a fucking red cloak? With a hood on it....? Do you mean to tell me....” I put the phone down and shook my head. I passed it her way, almost insulted at the implication from such a seeming bad-ass as Diana. Did she really think I was this gullible?

Diana said, “No, I’m telling you the truth - I didn’t believe it at first either, but the fact that my brother is now kidnapped for stealing it? So yeah...that’s Little Red Riding Hood’s cloak. That’s what giving La Lupine her power and I don’t know where he hid the damn thing. Or how we can get him back from this bitch. I think I need help. My brother was in over his head and I just want him home safe, reading his comics and dreaming the dream. Can you help me?”

Today’s Mystery Trail Hike will be led by your co-leaders, Jessica Darling and Marcus Flutie. They are prone to bickering and getting lost in their own world, but you’re in good hands for your hike. Since Jessica and Marcus hail from Pineville, New Jersey, this jaunt in Normal, Illinois is a little more urban than your average hike.

While there’s no dress code, we highly recommend you wear either a day of the week t-shirt (ironed if you can manage it) or a shirt with the simple words - you.yes.you. Running shoes are great for today’s hike - we’re spending our time on a paved trail, so really any shoes will work.

We start at the Circle. This is part of our Uptown area. Jessica would want to hate it, but it’s pretty cool, so she’ll give it a chance. We suggest you do the same. If you have time, stop at the Coffee Hound to grab a drink. This is going to be a pretty leisurely stroll. Marcus may be late - depends on if he arrives with Jessica or arrives on his own. 

Marcus and Jessica are a perfect fit to lead the hike. Marcus will be a more calming influence, and will happily hang out with the back of the pack. No hurrying for Marcus. Jessica will lead the group at a brisk pace - her running background has prepared her well, along with her type A personality. Her keen observation skills will make sure you don’t lose any hikers, that you stay on time, and that don’t miss anything! 

Head north on the trail. Now, this is a nice, paved trail - lots of shade, some streets to cross. You’re starting by heading through an area with lots of adjacent college student apartments. Feel free to make snarky remarks about other people - it will make your leader, Jessica, feel right at home.

Be on the lookout for lots of runners, walkers, and bike riders. And dogs - lots of dogs. Feel free to say hello or offer a little wave to the people you pass - central Illinois can be a pretty friendly place. Or ignore everyone else. You do you.

On your hike you’ll also probably see lots of squirrels. (Side note about squirrels - Our squirrels here are brown, but in nearby Champaign-Urbana where some of our Book Club group members live an hour away, their squirrels are gray. It has something to do with the Chicago World’s Fair. In Leroy, which is between Bloomington-Normal and Champaign-Urbana our squirrels are an ugly gray-brown mix. And everyone feels smarter for knowing this, right.)

If you pass a bench or enticing place to sit, this would be an excellent place to rest and write a letter to your best friend, or do some journaling.

There will be a break for Krispy Kreme doughnuts midway through today’s hike. Ask Marcus to perform some spam email poetry for the group.

Feel free to start a Barry Manilow sing along at any time. If you know any Len Levy Four, you can bust that out too.

At the end of your hike, you’ll end up back at the Circle. This may be a good time to stop in at Emack and Bolio’s for some ice cream - it’s no Wally D’s Sweet Shoppe, but it will do.