C L O W N

“Huh?”

As normal, Rebecca was engrossed in her phone, the occasional ‘mew mew’ revealed that she was watching kitten videos. Thank all that was good in the universe that they still had cat videos in this universe.

Looking up at him, she was clearly surprised by his proposition. It was strange, as was his cheery disposition. Such open friendliness was rare in Spirale (or maybe she was just looking in the wrong places) but his energy brought her mood up and smiled brightly.

It was fair to say that she probably wasn’t the smartest woman ever born but the idea of a quiz did seem like fun - what was the worst that could happen.

“A reward?” Rebecca really liked the sound of that. She was competitive by nature, all though thankfully it wasn’t an overbearing personality trait. “I’m in~!”

“Wonderful, wonderful! Oh me, oh my, I’m simply filled with joy!” There go his usual theatrics before he clears his throat to continue speaking.

“Now then, I’ll ask you 3 questions, each with three guesses. If you answer 2 out of 3, that would still mean you win! With the rules out of the way, let us begin.” With that, he gets a little more serious as he gives the girl before him his riddle.

She’d been in her own fair share of sticky (literally, sometimes) situations but after a couple of days of being here, she’d decided this place wasn’t all bad. Sure, she still needed to make some friends and find out what there was to do for fun around here (and get a job but she’d deal with that later) but all in all, it could have been a helluva lot worse.

An afternoon stroll was sometimes nice, taking in the scenery and the bustling atmosphere of the city. It wasn’t long before a charismatic voice carried over the crowd and caught her attention; of course she couldn’t leave without seeing what was going on; her curiosity would never be satisfied if she did… so that’s how she found herself at the front of the crowd… and as soon as the performer asked for a volunteer, well…

How could she refuse?

“Pick me!” She waved her hand wildly in the air, standing on the tips of her toes in order to be noticed. As if she wouldn’t be noticed anyway… “I can do it, pick me!” As if she was going to give him a choice…

“Well, well, aren’t you eager?! Come on, then! Please do climb onto the stage!” As he says that, he gestures to the seat of the bench with a big smile on his face.

“For this trick, for our very first trick, I need you to name three things- three things, no more! -Not bigger than a basketball! One such thing is hidden within my cloak, and I will let you keep it as reward if you can guess which item it is! Doesn’t that sound lovely?” 

“Say, say, sir!”

“Have you ever heard of the Licho?” A small pause follows, merely dramatic effect, before he continues.

“You see, it’s a spirit of misfortune, said to be the cause of all suffering of mankind, really! His claws will cling to your shoulders, sinking into your flesh so that he may never be separated from you. His breath, cold as the most harsh of Russian winters, will blow upon your neck as he whispers curses most vile.”

“‘All you hold dear will be tainted red’, ‘All joy in your life will be stolen by me’, ‘Your limbs will break one by one, but you shall not die’, he shall say. ‘you shall not die for as long as I see a use in you.’ And that, sir, is what’s the most troubling! You see, this spirit would prevent you from taking your own life as well, for it would take away the toy he has made you into.” A dry chuckle leaves him.“You would be doomed to a life of misfortune until nothing is left of you, however.. there is a way to be rid of it.”

The dampness of the chocolate’s wrapping paper had not gone unnoticed.  Oda raised a brow when Nikolai started to dry it off with his shirt, but in the end, chose to say nothing on the matter.  His eyes lingered on his cloak, however, as the other man started to speak again.

“That would explain your outfit.  What type of performer are you?”

It was surprising to hear Nikolai suddenly volunteer his assistance.  Oda was not the type to reject out of modesty, so this twist was fine with him.  “I’m going to make curry,” he simply answered, before handing over his small shopping list.  His penmanship was not grand in the slightest, but hopefully, his writing was at least somewhat legible.  Most of the items on the list were crossed out already, all except for the vegetables: onions, carrots, and potatoes.

“A clown, of course! I do like to think of myself as a good showhost too, though! If you’re ever feeling up to a quiz, I’m your clown!” The enthusiasm can’t be taken away it seems, as if the incident before has been completely forgotten, thrown away like an act that won’t appear again for the rest of the play.

“Curry, huh? Never had that one before!” The small comment is offered before he takes the list in his hands, looking over it and struggling just a bit to read it. It wasn’t due to the other man’s writing, more just Nikolai generally struggling with some letters unless they were printed out neatly, specifically ‘r’s and ‘a’s, for the most part.

“So, onions, carrots and potatoes.. Well, that should be easy! A round of applause, my good sir and here we go!” He knew he couldn’t really grab anything big like a sack of potatoes, but he could at least fetch a box of carrots with his ability, making this at least a little bit easier on the two of them as it’s quickly placed in the basket.

“Using a cloak like that can’t possibly be an easy way to carry your things, right?”

The expression on Oda’s face said it all: he knew Nikolai was trying to steal chocolate from the store.  His job as an errand boy for the mafia gave him a lot of experience in handling theft.  Though, usually, the circumstances were a bit different than this.  The thieves Oda came across were typically poor children on the streets.  The stores he was tasked to protect were under Port Mafia protection.  But regardless, in this situation as well, it wasn’t as if Oda could turn a blind eye when the strange person in front of him was obvious in what he was doing.

Oda’s eyes danced between the man’s black-hole-of-a-cloak and his face.  The shopping basket in Oda’s hand swung in his grip when he outstretched his arm to him, various groceries shifting and tumbling inside.

“The employees might get the wrong impression if they see you placing the chocolate in there…  Here.  There is space in my basket.  I can hold them for you.”

“Ah, crumbs! You got me! See, I forgot to fetch a basket when I came in, and going back now is just embarrasing! You know how it is with us performers, though! Improvise when you lack props!”

It’s a situation he can’t get out of his way, not with his cloak’s limitations right now, so he dips his hand back into the portal to bring the candy bar back. It’s to be noted, however, that the packaging had a few drops of water on it, seems he threw it into a puddle in his hurry, so he takes to wiping it with the outer part of the cloak for a bit.

“How kind of you to help, sir, truly a saint you are, yes!” He sings praises as he drops the chocolate bar into Oda’s basket, at least it was cheap.. “Say, say, while I’m here, why don’t you let me help you with the shopping, hm? Is there anything else you might need?”

“If it’s a scary story you want, boy, have I got one for you!”

“Say, say, do you know what neighbourhoods you should avoid?” If that isn’t a lovely introduction.. “That was a trick question, you see! In truth, none of them are safe, not with The Collector roaming around. Who is he, you might ask. Well, who am I not to answer?”

Easy! A knife! 

Nikolai exclaims, as lively as ever as he hops closer, his cloak adding a dramatic effect to his movements as always.

“Say, say, do you like quizzes? I’m looking for a lucky contestant, you see, and you seemed like a perfect candidate!” Okay, that was a lie, but he certainly was in quite a playful mood now, so he can’t quite be blamed for getting somewhat carried away, no?  Of course not!

“If you answer correctly, I’ll give you a reward, how does that sound? Exciting, right? Of course it is! Hahaha!!” The said reward was absolutely a shoplifted item, but let’s not get too technical here, it would ruin the fun.

Alright, maybe a little, but no one will notice a chocolate bar or two missing, right? Of course! And that’s why he’s here in this store, lingering around the aisle with snacks and sweets, sticking out like a sore thumb with how he’s dressed. 

Minding his own business, he looks around, humming as he slips a chocolate bar into his cloak, with intention of transporting it outside the store. This is, however, the exact moment his eyes lock with someone passing by.

Of course this has to happen when he needed eyes on him the least.

“Oh me, oh my! Sir, you’ve seen nothing, right? Well, nothing except these amazing discounts, I’d hope! Look at all this chocolate on sale due to Valentine’s coming up! My, what a time to be alive!” And so his theatrics begin, the chocolate swiftly thrown into his cloak’s pocket dimension for the time being.

Like the clown he always was, Nikolai exclaims loudly, waving his hand at the people passing by, successfully gathering a small crowd of people around him. In the center of it all he stood on a bench’s backrest, his hat on the ground before the bench for any generous donations.

A fool he might be, but he knew money was always a good thing to gather, besides.. this was fun!! How long has it been since he last got to entertain a crowd?

“For our first trick today, we’ll need a voulunteer! You heard me, folks, we need one of you lovely misses or misters or what have you to step right up! Who will it be, hm? Come on, sirs and ma’ams and ma’am-sirs, we don’t have the whole day, no, no!”