still coping w/ Marineford over a decade later

i always fall for opening the comments section and then go ahhh right i forgot. the concept of nuance and non-universal experiences just doesn't exist to some people

ikanzame!!! your people of virginia desire you carnally!!!!

this is so sexy

I wonder what happened to all the agent smith masks

I can actually answer this! So the latex/rubber they used, while standard for Hollywood at the time, reacted REALLY BADLY to being doused in pouring water nonstop for an entire day of shooting. They ended up corroding, which caused them to stink really badly and glob together at the seams. The original plan was to hand out masks to various crew members on the final day of shooting as souvenirs, but the sopping wet, melting, rotting rubber got so gross that by the end of that shooting day they’d already thrown most of them out. Somewhere in a landfill are hundreds of disgusting, bloated, slimey Hugo weaving heads fused together into a nightmarish rotting amalgam :)

it’s what he would have wanted

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

does anyone have that gif of a penis growth ad thats a guinea pig that stretches out rly long and a girl says “hot!” and the guinea pig spins around pls i need it

YES!!! YES!! YES!!!!!

Many jokes about packers flopping out and bouncing away and such but I still wasn't prepared for how genuinely disconcerting it is for a second when your brain has accepted this as Part Of Your Body & your thang fell off. My pebis

Every time I pull my pants down to go to the bathroom and watch My Penis go with them I have to like. Recalibrate

it's so awesome how if you're afab and nonbinary and androgynous and people find out your agab they mentally label you as "basically a cis girl" forever and if you're amab and nonbinary and androgynous and people find out your agab they mentally label you as "basically a trans girl" forever and if you're nonbinary and masculine at all then they mentally label you as "gross creepy man who's faking being trans" regardless of your agab

#its basically copy paste of biphobia#the bisexual man is secretly gay and ashamed to admit it. the nb who was amab is a trans woman and ashamed to admit it.#the bisexual woman is secretly straight and wants to be special. the nb who was afab is secretly a cis girl who wants to be special.#and as always masculine queers are creepy.

knowing when not to open the comments is a skill

blocking tip: you don't have to wait to have a negative interaction with someone to block them. you can block them without ever interacting with them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen someone being rude to someone else and preemptively blocked them

"why'd they block me? we've never talked" bro if i see you being nasty to the bartender i'm not gonna chat you up