what now

this girl must have pussy like a pizza bc Everytime she fucks me I have little seizures

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

the first thing you'll learn about me is that I'm a funny guy

the second thing you'll learn about me is that I'm always in some kind of nightmarish torture hell dimension

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conversations with kids are my favorite cause who else is gonna ask me what's my third favorite color

how much does the aurora borealis weigh

it's pretty light

men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..

You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say

Men will see a mouse and eat it

No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.

A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

Love how the kid has safety goggles but isnt actually wearing them. Absolute gleeful mayhem

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny