So much happened, so much thoughts; God has blessed me with an unexpectedly wonderful trip at the end of this year.Â
Day Two - 4 Dec 2016, SUN:
Moments that I'm grateful for--
1) Staying back to pack drugs at the hotel lobby (while the rest went off on village tours and outreaches etc) really wasn't too bad in the end. Was my first time really getting to know her but I liked talking to geradyn... esp about pre-med attachments at hospitals; felt like quite a while already and mentioning that today reminded me about why medicine, once again. Well, we had a really good lunch (brown rice salad! coconut ice cream!) at atas cafe restaurant. And organizing all the drugs in a v organized manner... was just my thing mannn.
2) Sunday evening church at petychae- such a heartwarming sight entering the same simple but glorious church as last year, filled entirely with the ACTS community. It really felt very touching. And father's jovta's sermon on how hope is a two way thing when we come here - we give them hope that there are people who care for them, while they give us hope that happy simple joys in life still exist. Also, what struck me was when he said how we just had to bear in mind one thing for this mission trip - "a call to serve"; it made things so much clearer for me, because once remembering that I am here to serve, then no matter what - how tired and sapped and drained I am, it doesn't matter and it shouldn't matter because the whole pumps is to serve, and serving means doing so even despite the rosy conditions. So I am ready, to serve and serve fully this trip.
Day Three - 5 Dec 2016, MON:Â
Woke up at 5.30AM; prepped stuff at 6.30AM, and off we go~~ Morning mass, van ride, clinics, sharing + dinner, pharm sorting...
1) Clinics, with one and a half years into Med school AND the autonomy/ responsibility of a pharm head at the first omal clinic meant an intense learning (and pressure; got "scolded/ cornered/ questioned" by dr.gladys about missing drugs). ... vaginal examination! Fungal infections! Suturing!
2) Cute guy(s) - ry and wyn -bling bling- and ofc cool niclea - who did an open wound suturing! + mixing w new people - unsw and monash people and those translators/ sharings ; I really wanna get to hear their stories!
3) Irritated w angela but talking to shannenn tonight was a blessing (just needed an outlet to rant).
Day Four - 6 Dec 2016, TUES:Â
Talking judo w nic. Doing triage in the morning shift- perplexed faces and overly focused doing the job. Being a dr's assistant at consult during the afternoon shift- learning and seeing, asking and taking notes.
Suddenly getting roped in for a mural drawing in the room behind the clinic - esp satisfying seeing my work (of a leopard) up the wall AND the sweet compliment from dr.gladys; popping by to see dr.ben painting the windows outside and hearing about his rationale ("you don't get to do this kind of things where I am") put a smile to my face because - yes indeed; even though I've been on OCIPs just in recent years and manual work like this no longer excites me, it wouldn't be thaat available to me anymore in years to come, when I move on w life/ enter adulthood and work. Having TB patients (scary shit; one boy had swollen cervical lymph nodes, another patient was coughing), doing a breast examination on a floor mat, I&D for abscess cases (at the back or side), wound dressing, nicolea removing an ant from a man's cornea etc.
And bus ride back again in Medical Team 3's green seated bus w the same crew was q fun!! Cos nic was teaching/testing us on medical stuff like TB... and giving us #drnicolea'swisewords like how in medicine it's really damn important that in the sea of complexity and limitless knowledge/cases, it's key to just believe in yourself that you can do it... and then do it. And don't be afraid to ask for help, even senior doctors, because despite the scoldings and sternness they will help, and also because everyone has to start from somewhere. GOOD doctors also never become good right from the start; so experience will maketh the man.
Coconut (inspired by nicolea) w sam neubronner. 30 min amazing foot massage (which I fell asleep in... what a waste of a good service). Sharing my day w shannen at night (since we're roomies!) before sleeping.
Day’s takeaways: connections w my team three medical people; learning medically; finally realizing how easy it is to fall into the dark hole of being caught up w the medical knowledge awe and forgetting that behind each new case there is a person w feelings, a person who doesn't comprehend anything but who trusts and reads actions and expressions from the doctors better than anything... 'you're here to treat the patient, not the disease'. Feel like it's time to pull myself out of the hole before I slip in...
Day Five - 7 Dec 2016, WED:
The weather has been amazing, but this morning's weather was the bestest- cool breeze; feels like air con all around and such weather makes me v happy!!! Praise the Lord.
Father joviita's sermon "the work is not easy, but it's suited for you". I've been dozinggoff the past two morning masses; still it feels good to be in church and I like it, esp hearing familiar hymns being sung.
Interesting cases at cheongnam- kyphosis, cyst/lipoma at the upper arm (deltoid biceps area), lipoma on forehead (think surgery and complications given the area/bones/muscles), removed sebaceous cyst, green discharge from baby's ear, (first day's bartholin gland cyst possible surgical removal)... hep-b vaccinations!! Kids and women were scared, something totally understandable cos I've been through it, but they were brave and I really hope my jabs weren't too bad... Check out bicep rupture, Alzheimer's Med that turns pee blue, cysts/lipomas! AH The wonders of knowledge and experience!!
Two hour van ride back to the evening sharings... In between -
Loved the time to think- at the moment, since the cyst cases came in right at the end of clinics, I'm so so so so filled w awe and wonder and amazement at the beauty of medicine and how it brings so much help. Given that the common person, let alone a person in a low education rural area, doesn't know much about health and conditions, coming in w medical knowledge is such a powerful tool to allay all their fears of the unknown. It is so so powerful. Just like the cyst- imagine a growth there and the fear and worry of what it could potentially be; without any doctors, the man would probably be living w discomfort and all that, but you - a doctor - coming in with your knowledge and your skills, and the adaptability to make do in situations with little equipment, but innately having the instinct that "we need to get this guy treated and I can do it"; then putting those skills and knowledge to use and ta-da the guy's cyst is removed and he is no longer in discomfort and can be assured that there will not be a recurrence... and off he goes well, if the wound heals nicely; off he goes happy and well. Medicine is so amazing.
And especially when I was walking back to the clinic area, passing by the other ACTS team that was playing soccer w the kids (it was a beautiful sight though, with the blue sky and happy laughter), it struck me that i am so immensely blessed to be given this chance by God to study medicine... that he has bestowed this opportunity to me - how dare I ever feel like quitting - and it is a privilege that puts me in a position to render even more help to those who need it, and to comfort them in their uncertainty. So then, is studying hard still not a task that is worth it? It grants you the ability to help and cure and comfort in amazing ways!
I think the best thing about this (besides you working wonders w the knowledge) is also how you can inspire and teach others (the junior doctors, the medical students)... and create ripples and ripples of inspiration/motivation/goodness in this world!!
Also, talking a little w dr.gladys on the long bus ride back - seeing her face soften, her tone soften, her face lit up when she's talking about her kids/husband - at least warmths my heart a little (after allllllll the stern shit I've been getting the past few days at clinics; not to mention stress to be up to standard medically), and I'm grateful for all the knowledge she's generously pouring out!
Baack at donbosco dinner area. Washing dishes and fake starbux hanging w josh-lawry-aaron; Josh's alleluia. Nice guys and more talking/understanding (than anything we had last year).
Day Six - 8 Dec 2016, THURS: (outreach day one)
"Sing a new song unto the lord..." Playing w kids fun but tiring; kid could peel an orange?!?! Uncertain God's blessing of a chance encounter w julia/wx's backstory... emotional. Watching the guys play soccer in the dusty fields while waiting for mass gathering. Just before mass gathering... Dr.glad showing me my art!!
Thank you speech at the big dinner- "we have nothing to give you but we hope that you feel hope and love and if you've been unmotivated and tired with life, we hope this time w us has strengthened you and given you new found motivation".
The mass gathering made me feel so inspired and maybe one of the reasons why I love acts is because I feel we are really making An Impact! Not in the sustainability of life changing actions... but rather the hope and warmth and comfort that all of us bring to them (and vice versa), and with such a large contingent of earnest serving people, we have covered so much ground and brought smiles to them even though it's no life changing feat. I never felt this way in srolanh nor any other ocip. Now I think I'm perhaps truly getting to understand what it means when others say that our presence gives them hope; no it is not just a statement to console, but words that bear weight because while we're so used to measuring success and impact on a bigger more materialistic scale, are we then negating the fact that our efforts are not worth it if we are coming here to shower them w intangibles such as love and smiles and warmth and hope? I think perhaps I'm coming to peace w the idea of ocip/ mission trips; may my hand work the wonders of God's true love.
Day Seven - 9 Dec 2016, FRI: (outreach day two)
Cookhouse duty ohhhh yeahhhhh ~~~ New exp - a lot of interacting w old people and most except the lynette and claudia (I met at painting yst) have very stuck in the mud insistent views. Met a mature girl christine/chrissy (?) 19yo but amazing how tellingly confident/mature she is.
But I see teens and youths and dads and aunts and I think bout how much I love acts and how I wish my future kids can go through this from young. Mostly comfortable w helping and mixing w the rest.
And I think about how a team can stay in the kitchen for the ENTIRE WEEK they are here for a mission, and I think - what??! how does this feel like you're doing anything significant?? - but today I learnt that things work in big and small ways; roles are never equal but if the heart is willing to serve, every act counts.
Also, how great it is to be on a trip w Catholics such that in conversations, it is so comfortable for me to just tell someone that God will take care of it or that God has His plans. It is such a wonderful wonderful thing to be able to do.
... Delivering rice and sauce to the villagers!! V poor conditions but.. The genuine smiles on villagers faces. Reminds me of the mirror story.
And if it’s one more thing, this trip has taught me the importance of good leaders. So grateful we have had them - mich, shawn, dr.gladys/damien - to lead us, and for me to learn and be inspired. Hopefully, to emulate as well.
This trip has been so so inspiring... Happy, thankful, and may this memory fill up my heart again and again.. should I ever lose track of what matters.
dailybridgerton
yousharknotpass
titsay
ellievsbear