dark,

A nerdy bookworm or a shiny-armored knight?

Kim Sungyeol, aged 22, ex-idol and now actor on television dramas and musicals. He is a puzzle unsolved, mystery with no clues but he is loyal and he does his best for anyone once he trusts them.

He watches her as she stalks closer, his breath quickening due to his fury; he wants to kiss this anger out of her and he just wants to push her away and live away from her. He knows he can’t do either of these but he itches to touch her, his hands flexing unconsciously. He looks right into her eyes, not looking away and not moving away as she looked straight at him. His voice falls into a whisper as he talks again.

                                                     Let them look, I have nothing to hide.

Kang Seokjae, 22, flower shop owner and bass guitarist.

✿ - 1: aggressive kiss

‘I don’t get it, what did I do?!’ 

Sungyeol’s voice echoed in the empty corridor of the broadcasting station, but Namjoon was intent on ignoring him and his steps got further and further away. It didn’t take long for the actor to catch up to him but he had no idea what he had done wrong. Namjoon was hot and cold, close and far away; Sungyeol just didn’t get it. The other guy just seemed to ignore him one moment and just hug him close, as close as possible, the next minute. Sungyeol’s hand grabbed the rapper’s wrist, his face scrunched up in a deep frown. 

‘What happened?

Tell me.’

The silence was Sungyeol’s answer, one he wasn’t satisfied with. He pulled the other a bit closer, stepping to stand in front of him but the silence didn’t change, no words came from Namjoon’s lips. The actor let out a sigh, he knew he couldn’t hold the other up for any longer; he had a stage to stand on. However, the actor didn’t want to let him go because whenever this topic came up, the other seemed to close up. Sungyeol had a lot to say but the other kept silent, which just made the actor angrier. He didn’t know what his mistake was and he wanted to learn. He wanted to fix everything. Just as Sungyeol opened his mouth to speak, someone else’s footsteps echoed in the corridor. The actor froze up, not really thinking before acting and pulling the other into the first room he saw. The room was dusty and probably not used very often- that could explain why it was full of unused things. The darkness of the room bothered Sungyeol but he just waited for the person outside of the room to leave. He didn’t realize that he was still holding Namjoon’s arm, his focus concentrated on the sounds coming from the corridor. It was at that moment that Namjoon freed his arm to pull the actor in, their lips barely met in the darkness and the actor let out a surprised gasp. The ‘kiss’ was everything except a kiss, it was bruising, it was harsh and painful. It didn’t take more than ten seconds for Namjoon to pull away and exit the room, leaving Sungyeol dumbfounded until he remembered what they were talking about.

‘Wait, 

his personality was way off at different minutes, hours of the day. who would have the time to catch up, even when someone did become fascinated? he stood right in front of the actor, allowing his own tanned skin to be devoured by the silence that seemed almost suffocating. namjoon only could stare, and wonder what exactly went on in that head of sungyeol’s. he, himself, was lost and out of loop on a daily basis. and now, the other boy had committed the same mistake as he did also on a basis, too many times to keep track of, actually. how many times was this now?

four, five? .. six?

footsteps.

they seemed to be the ones that endlessly rang in namjoon’s ears, the clicking and clacking of annoying dress shoes- until; his body was suddenly leaning forward and tugged off into another room. clearly objection of answering the same fucking question was not his problem right now, but wherever the hell they were - it was dark, dark enough to make the voices in the blonde’s head start whispering things, things he did not like to hear. how long would they be in here anyways? namjoon was an idiot for asking mentally, but refused to bother with opening his mouth to speak.

the clock ticking in the back of his mind was enough to drive him insane already, as if he wasn’t currently damaged with the mental state he possessed of now. it was time to go now, wasn’t it? he’d better give a form of apology before heading out and onstage where he actually belonged.

two seconds passed.

until lips were pressed in a firm line, yet a warmth surfaced over them as he reeled the older boy in for a kiss, one that wasn’t all the more welcoming as he tugged away in a sort of rush. his lips were definitely not regretful, although he wished he had been at least more sincere in movement. he’d have to shrug it off for now, and talk to sungyeol later, when he had a better chance. licking his own lower lip was a habit, especially when a bite took place afterwards. he was pondering, and you could see it through his eyes, his own orbs. hesitation filled him up inside, but he managed to get the words out.

He replied with an unimpressed glare, stepping out of the room to follow the rapper. It wasn’t like he wasn’t going to stay to watch the performance anyway, but he had a better reason now. When it came to Namjoon, Sungyeol would swallow most of his stubbornness and shrug some things off but today, he was already as confused as it is and he just wanted to clear some question marks. His gaze unconsciously travelled to the other boy’s lips before he met his gaze, feeling a flsuh moving up his neck.

‘Don’t you have  stage to do? 

I’m not going to leave so make the best of your time.’

He lightly nudged the other boy, then walking towards the backstage with steady steps. He could still feel the biting kiss on his lips, along with the flush on the back of his neck. He wondered if the kiss was a distraction or-yes, he was distracted, but that didn’t mean he forgot anything. He turned his head to look at Namjoon, their gaze meeting for a brief moment.

She finally snapped, hands landing on the table with gusto while still feeling the sting of her palms against the wooden table. Her breath is ragged and she's doing everything to keep her fury in check. But there's so only much she can take before she retaliates as well. Her eyes glare at the male who has now retreated from her gaze and presence.

"You don't know how I feel about you! You don't! You refuse to believe it because you're a stubborn and cruel idiot! An ego boost ? You think I swallowed my pride and my shame so I can boast over how well my life is? You think I'm petty and vindictive? IN ALL THE TIME YOU'VE KNOWN ME WHEN HAVE I EVER--"

"Now you want to admit it? You still love me? Now? I wish I could hate you so I could laugh in your face."

She stays silent, unsure of how to answer. She thinks perhaps its a trick. Testing her to see how she’ll respond.

“Of course I would. There are parts of me that still linger to cling to you. But I have to give you time and you have to heal. I don’t want to rush anything and ruin you further.”

I’m not the one you’re looking for.

I’m not the one you want.

You want ‘someone’. Not ‘Sungyeol.’

His voice gains a lot of edge, his eyes growing colder before he pushes himself off the table, rubbing his forehead and walking towards the kitchen. He can read her now; her body language, the way she talks, the way she tries to convince him and herself that it’s not over. She is just a memory, nothing more; he tells himself.

‘You ‘linger to cling to me’? You don’t love me, you never did.

I know that this, you coming out of nowhere, is not something you wanted.

Something prompted this, didn’t it? 

So, what happened?

Wanted an ego boost?

Here you go, then! Be my guest!

I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you life family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I want to kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me.

I don’t get how you can waltz back into my life as if you never left.

I don’t get how you can think everything will be fine,

because it won’t.’

He looks up at her, his gaze just as stony as it was before. He doesn’t feel anything anger, at that moment. Acting or not, hiding his feeling or not; he doesn’t get her. He doesn’t get how she can act like she does.

‘Would you kiss me now, 

if I let you?

Would you let me hold you,

She admitted with a soft sigh. Kiran was always known to wear her emotions on her sleeve. Break down and cry when a stronger person would have bottle it up inside. The only act she could ever pull off was being an ordinary citizen when she was so much more. But even that performance was becoming lackluster, people left and right knowing and then leaving. But that was another story for later.

“But I want to. Really. I want to cheer you on and support you in anyway possible.”

He admitted in return, his voice silent. He let go of the utensils and ran his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes for a moment. He felt frustrated but he just couldn’t get over it, a run would be nice, a nice jog to let go of his stress but she was there. He didn’t trust her as he used to. He didn’t know her like he used to, as well. Admitting that to himself took more of him than he expected.

‘You- I really don’t get you.

Kiran smiled, chuckling as she ate more of her food happily. Her deep and chocolate brown eyes gazing at him in contemplation and regard while a sense of understanding of who he is now and who he then–coming bright and boldly to her.

It did work on my favor, in that manner.’

He drops his gaze to his plate, eating slowly; his appetite seems to have disappeared and he just plays with the food on his plate. He doesn’t feel like this is real. He thinks real Alia wouldn’t sit there like everything was okay. She had already given up on him anyway. He was lost, he was on his own and she wasn’t there. It takes him a moment for him to brush the dark thoughts off, and he replies with a shrug.