life

I'm not sure when  I knew, but i felt it swell when you turned, still sleeping, with  your lips parted for my kiss.

before, you could only take away the clarity of the future,  but now, my dear depression, i have  something to lose  in the present. You'll find me a harder target this time.

I'm scared I'll be,  too much, that the black hole will open back up, that i'll try and climb out but just suck you in leeching your love to try and soothe  the cosmic ache of my soul, i don't want to suck you dry my wish is to give you wings, let you fly high on joy, on the pushing beats of my heart, not make you fall deep into the depths of my sadness, the glitch that made this dreaming mind of mine so dark.

it really can feel like it does in the books you read as teenager the ones that made your heart ache for soft kisses and sleepy eyes on you, it really can  be whispers in the dark and his laughter on your lips and he really will look at you like you are everything and like you are unfathomably  beautiful and it really  can be painless to fall don't settle for anything less than someone who brings you peace and effervescent bliss with every kiss.

your silhouette, naked, slim, as you sit on the window ledge, joint between fingers that pulled wetness from my body, blow smoke into the late sun, summer sits on our sweat slicked skin, oh, I don’t love you but I love the taste of your mouth and the way your skin feels on mine, let’s hide, awhile, in this fourth floor bedroom, let the sex and the smoke, take us away.

i am vitality i burn and i will not wait like wet ash embers from the morning after for you to call

look beneath the skin, at your peril; you see humans are like geodes dull surface but the core, laid bare is dazzling and it's not me  but the artist that's falling too fast; you all can be my muse in the right light.

a poem:  why is no one spooning me right now.

you match me,  mind and body,  no need for falling as we  are already on  the same level.

the reason falling is so easy, is simple- landing is hard it's physics, or something every action has  an equal and opposite reaction or maybe just, yin and yang or maybe my illogical heart and it's desire for beautiful broken things

your writing is astoundingly, complexly yet simply beautiful. you're blowing my mind.

peculiar discomfort of lying, still breathless as you become soft, gentle kisses and sleepy hands reaching, pulling me closer tying to capture me in the intimacy of post  coital bliss, and i know you are yearning for  me to give you something that makes me want to run;  for me, it is, the sleepy eyes and the softest kisses that make me feel naked in a way that my exposed body does not

i cannot bear  the thought of you falling  helplessly, for someone else it should be me.

i'm reading too much into the sound of your favorite  song, as if this remix were a window into your soul,  but really it's just the bassline makes me remember how  your heart thuds as you  fall asleep with my head pressed to your chest.

how can wanting feel so physical, like a bruise spreading through  my entirety?