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After much debate, we resolved to turn the tables on three of our esteemed public officials. We embarked on an unauthorized sightseeing tour of their garbage, to make a point about how invasive a “garbage pull” really is–and to highlight the government’s ongoing erosion of people’s privacy.
We chose District Attorney Mike Schrunk because his office is the most vocal defender of the proposition that your garbage is up for grabs. We chose Police Chief Mark Kroeker because he runs the bureau. And we chose Mayor Vera Katz because, as police commissioner, she gives the chief his marching orders.
Each, in his or her own way, has endorsed the notion that you abandon your privacy when you set your trash out on the curb. So we figured they wouldn’t mind too much if we took a peek at theirs.
Boy, were we wrong.
Perched in his office on the 15th floor of the Justice Center, Chief Kroeker seemed perfectly comfortable with the idea of trash as public property.
“Things inside your house are to be guarded,” he told WW. “Those that are in the trash are open for trash men and pickers and–and police. And so it’s not a matter of privacy anymore.”
Then we spread some highlights from our haul on the table in front of him.
“This is very cheap,” he blurted out, frowning as we pointed out a receipt with his credit-card number, a summary of his wife’s investments, an email prepping the mayor about his job application to be police chief of Los Angeles, a well-chewed cigar stub, and a handwritten note scribbled in pencil on a napkin, so personal it made us cringe. We also drew his attention to a newsletter from the conservative political advocacy group Focus on the Family, addressed to “Mr. & Mrs. Mark Kroeker.”
“Are you a member of Focus on the Family?” we asked.
“No,” the chief replied.
“Is your wife?”
“You know,” he said, with a Clint Eastwood gaze, “it’s none of your business.”
As we explained our thinking, the chief, who is usually polite to a fault, cut us off in mid sentence. “OK,” he said, suddenly standing up, “we’re done.”
Hours later, the chief issued a press release complaining that WW had gone through “my personal garbage at my home.” KATU promptly took to the airwaves declaring, “Kroeker wants Willamette Week to stay out of his garbage.”
“It’s worth emphasizing that our junkaeological dig unearthed no whiff of scandal. […] But if three moral, upstanding, public-spirited citizens were each chewing their nails about the secrets we might have stumbled on, how the hell should the rest of us be feeling?”
i ordered a wall tapestry from wish and the picture to choose the design from was super small
it came in the mail today and i put it up
my blind ass took a picture of my wall like ay wow my wall looks completed!! and it full on took me two hours actually LOOK at the thing because i suddenly realized
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u know what … i changed my mind… all u scientists out there who worked ur butts off just to have your research purposefully ignored by the government… do your science thing and bring back the dinosaurs… catch them ignoring you when a velociraptor is our next president…. like ding dong what’s that? it’s science, it doesn’t care about your silly ignorant opinion… it’s back with a vengeance… and it’s hungry, bitch
Aries: Untwist your mind and something is bound to flow freely. Do not be afraid. It is okay to be afraid.
Taurus: Suspicion is an ugly thing but it keeps your head on straight.
Gemini: Nature is important. All she wants is your company.
Cancer: A big change is just around the corner! You can survive in sulfur based environments right?
Leo: The fabric of the world is fine and soft. Rest your head. Admire the work nobody has done.
Virgo: Nothing left to lose means nothing holding you back. Take revenge! Or a nap! The choice is yours!
Libra: Watch the fire dance between your fingers. You only have so long.
Scorpio: Intended use is just a legal term. Humans are clever fuckers and you wont stop us.
Ophiuchus: Your desire to help is well placed. Keep ample supplies up.
Sagittarius: You are resistant to the arcane. Its effects are blunted on you. This is neither a blessing nor a curse.
Capricorn: You’re missing out on all the fun! We are all missing out on the fun! Fun is a shapeless ineffable thing that physically cannot be described or located.
Aquarius: Sometimes the world makes you do shit but eventually everything will be grass so who cares.
Pisces: Anything is a legal chess move if you have a gun.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Love their reactions. They aren’t worried about being emasculated, they aren’t insecure, they are just genuinely impressed that she’s lifting like a beast!
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