Stones, Bones, and Ash

every 1st september we joke about getting ready for hogwarts to cover up the very real and very very deep scars of never getting our letters

HAUNT YOUR OWN HOUSE

i wonder what happened at this particular subway to provoke the creation of this sign

My parents got this thing for me. It screams.

Screams??

I don’t know exactly why, but I think it has something to do with how the water is expelled. It screams. Sometimes it only hums menacingly but usually it screams.

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

i do bite my thumb, sir

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

is the law on our side if i say ay?

No

no, sir, i do not bite my thumb at you sir; but I bite my thumb, sir

Do you quarrel, sir?

No better

well, sir

DOST THOU WANT TO FUCKING GO, SIR?

DOST THOU THINK THOU CAN FUCKING TAKE ME, BRO?

DOST THOU EVEN HOIST? OUT TO THE COURT YARD, WITH HASTE.  

The Shakespeare fandom is out of control

*starts song over because I wasn’t enjoying it hard enough*

Reblog if you think sign language should be taught as a language in schools.

So there was a pretty big spider dangling from the ceiling. I walked right into it and I was like ok cool, sit on my arm and I’ll get you outside, bro BUT THEN he started scampering around like crazy and ran down my arm and onto my hip and I was like OH HELL NO NOT ON MY BARE SKIN so I flicked him really hard and now I don’t know where he is =/

nooooo little spider friend!

Greek myths are fucking great because their gods are so human. They argue, they fuck up at things, they make fun of each other, they piss each other off, it’s great, there’s so much human interaction and then Christianity comes in like that guy and is all like “oh my god is infallible and knows everything and immortal and everywhere at once and you can’t see it but its totally there and stronger than everything” shut the fuck up Christianity go take a writing class

did you just call the Christian god a Mary Sue

Hi my name is Jesus Christ of Nazareth and I have long mahogany brown hair  with blonde streaks and white tips that reaches my mid-back and firy brown eyes like god’s judgment and a lot of people tell me I look like Job (AN: if u don’t know who he is then god be with you!). I’m not related to Lot but I wish I was because he’s a paragon of saintly virtue. I’m a demigod but my body is mortal. I have dark brown skin. I’m also a miracle worker, and I work miracles in the Euphrates region. I’m a Jew (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly hot weather clothing. I love Forever21 and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black yarmulka with matching lace around it and a black leather tallit , pink robes  and black sandals. I was wearing the makeup of my father’s love for his people. I was walking outside Judea. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of Romans stared at me. I wished them a long and prosperous life.

My parents got this thing for me. It screams.