climbing and dreams.

So I've finally had a dream that made me want to write on here again.

Whilst I did have a dream last night, it wasn’t particularly interesting. Definitely not as interesting as my previous ones (from re-reading this*), which invariably involved flying, vampires, zombies (sometimes all three). I’m not sure why my dreams have become more mundane, possibly it’s a reflection on my life (which I didn’t think was particularly dull, but I guess my brain has other ideas). I read somewhere (I might provide a reference if I remember) that one of the reasons why life appears to speed up as one ages is due to the brains preference for cataloguing novel events. So, when you’re young, more things are new and exciting, and so your brain is quick to remember it all. And you brain measures the sensation of time by how much memory has been laid down... ipso facto, as you age and things are more routine based, your brain doesn’t bother cataloguing everything so (from your brain’s perspective), time appears to speed up.

I’ve found it. I’ve found that song from the Levi’s store. Annoyingly, I’m not as euphoric as I thought I would be, and it’s a bit of an anti-climax. I do like the song, but since it’s been so long, I’m still not 100% sure it’s the one. I think it is. It’s not exactly how I remembered it, but since ones memory is incredibly fallible, I shouldn’t think too much about that. Still, I’m just not overly satisfied.. When I had a similar music quest for Crocket’s Theme by Jan Hammer, I was so happy when I found it! Hmm, maybe because in that instance, the song was quite nice, but this song is a bit more of a dirge.

Just to keep my legions of fans updated about the song from the Levi’s store. I still have no idea who did it. I messaged Levi’s again and was like ‘Yo, please help me’. And they were like ‘Hmm, we don’t provide playlists innit, you need to speak to the store people directly’. At which point I passively aggressively slightly tapped my keyboard and was like ‘fuck sake, it’s been 4 years’, and they were like ‘4 years? Mate, you need to move on’. 

Yo, so I haven’t written on this for ages, mainly because nothing interesting has really happened to me and also because I’m still having my internal battle about whether this is really conceited. But I guess it’s good to write and I do quite enjoy it. So fuck the haters. Hmm, but most of the hate comes from me. Everyone else seems to enjoy it. Hmm. Fuck me… 

I was briefly on Guardian Soulmates since I felt it was the right thing to do (my friend’s friend recommended it). But I hated it, I left after four days. Mainly because I got loads of girls messaging me and I didn’t really find them attractive (I’m sure they had lovely personalities but looks does play a big role in attraction, like personality is great, but they do need to have a base level of prettiness) (that’s not horrible to say that is it? Hmm) and I didn’t really fancy the girls on it in general too. I found it a bit invasive to be honest, people ‘liking’ me or messaging me. The friend’s friend said that I should just ignore the messages from people I didn’t like but I thought that was horrible. So I just deleted it. Hmm, I’m on Tinder but I don’t really like that either. Everyone is like ‘But Tinder is just for hook ups bruv’ and I’m like ‘It’s not, yeah some of my friends use it like that, but I don’t. I guess it’s a nice way of meeting girls - it’s mutual too so you can only talk to people if you both like each other. Which I think is a great idea - no cold call style messages’. I didn’t really have to put that all in quotations. Hmm. Plus, it feels a lot less committal and serious than a dating website because it’s free and pretty casual. Dating is a loaded word and it freaks me out. Tinder is just like text messaging and then you meet up. It’s not like you’ve paid £60 and so you have to go on dates all the time, and you feel like you have to get your moneys worth. Hmm ok, so Tinder is good. Well, greater than Guardian Soulmates. I should add the caveat that you spend a lot of time separating the wheat from the chaff on Tinder, I guess I only like 1 out of every 20 swipes, and then matches are infrequent - I used to get matches a lot but either I’ve become more fussy or I’m not longer desirable now that I’m 30... Hmm. My friend says I’m too fussy. Hmm. Plus, I haven’t yet had a second date from Tinder. I saw a pretty girl at the Castle and I was thinking about speaking to her but then my shyness kicked in so I just kind of stared at her and she walked off. Small steps.

My finger has been bursted for a while now, I did a blooming avulsion fracture to it and it swelled up. Plus, I strained the A2 pulley, which is actually the more painful bit. I’m more worried about the pulley rather than the fracture because it’s the pulley injury which is fully stopping me from climbing. Hmm. I could probably still climb, but I decided to ease off, especially now that I’m pretty old (turned 30 the other day, though I apparently look 24). So I haven’t climbed for a couple of weeks to rest the digit, it’s a bit depressing really, I quite enjoy climbing and normally my climbing injuries coincide with a low climbing psych. But this time I’m pretty psyched... So in the meantime, I’ve been doing loads of front levers and diamond pressups and one armers on the bar. I’m getting pretty strong, I’m approaching the weight I was when I used to labour on the build site. I have this hand crushing thing which I’ve been closing between my thumb and fingers, in the hopes of getting some pinch strength. Hmm. I think I’ve been getting stronger. I’m definitely getting way better with the front levers, can do 15 seconds now!