exhausted queer

tomboy, meaning "this child is clearly queer but let's hope it goes away"

sensitive, meaning "clearly neurodivergent and often distressed but let's keep going until they grow numb"

self-sufficient, meaning "next to zero trust in parental figures' ability in various aspects of parenting"

It's the ones that aren't really rebellious, but have super insane mode awareness to detail you gotta worry about. Like this one girl, she's driving me nuts! I misplace ONE chair, my gf character for her says ONE thing that contradicts something I said as her ages ago, and she goes all investigation mode! And it's not like the escape addicts where I can just admit it and let her leave to the 'real' world. No, she LOVES the simulation. Second she realized the world was a simulation, she started testing my limits, blowin shit up and looking right at it so I have to render it, doing some never before seen drug combo so I have to figure out what the effects should be, shit like that. And I reset her memory, like, five hundred times at this point! This shit always happens!!

I'm thinking I'll just break character for her. Just go up to her, in the gf avatar, and tell her everything- who I am, where she is, how the stuff's she's making me do is lowkey really annoying, and just, like, ask! What she wants her sim to be.

I told her all that stuff. And

she got like really excited? and before i even could ask about what she wanted, she started asking me all these questions? Who I am, what's my deal, what I like to do, weird stuff like that that has nothing to do with her that I don't even know how to answer. It's not like I even have a name!!! but she said she was gonna call me Belle so I was just kinda like. okay???

anyway she asked me if we could meet again in like a week at a coffee place. I reminded her that I'm literally the entire world around her so it's not like we can be apart for a week, and i can't even really drink coffee anyway, but she kept waving me off and saying "Yeah, but for everyone else I see, you're acting a part. I just mean, in a week, I wanna talk to you acting as you again!! And bring whichever body you feel like! I'm curious to see who you pick~". And then she just fucking left!!! Walked away from the gf avatar!!!

man idfk what to do. I've been tryna think what body to pick but its obviously not the gf one cause otherwise she wouldn'ta made a point of saying that. But other than that like she's curious??? what does that mean??? what's gonna happen if i pick wrong????

god dammit she's just as depraved as like half the people in the world sim i should be used to this by now i AM used to this why is she SO STUPID

fucking. we went on the date. I got an avatar that looks exactly like her to freak her out. didn't work at all. asked me way more questions. never about her past life outside the sim, by the way! just about me! about what i like, about what i want, about how she wants to, like, help me 'figure out who i really am' whatever that means.

anyway at the end of it she gets a look I know VERY well (humans all look the same when they're horny) and she asks me if I wanted to come to her place and im all oh! this i know! i can do sex no problemo! finally i figured this girl out.

and like obviously the actual sex did nothing for me. not like i actually feel it physically I cant feel anything physically its just the avatar licking her out

but I dunno like

the way she kept moaning "Belle" over and over

the way she was telling me, not some avatar or character but ACTUALLY ME, to get on the floor and kiss her feet

and i let her

why did i let her

i mean of course i let her! she's a sim human i do whatever for em to keep em happy

but

why is it getting to me so much

um

We've been doing this for a few months now. I meet Francine once a week, she asks me way too many questions, and we go back to her place to have sex. It's been escalating- she even got me show her a live feed of the outside world, no idea why I said yes to that- but I've been keeping it mostly under control. I thought, if this is what makes her happy, that's good enough for me!

Until yesterday. Yesterday I really really fucked up.

She was shoving my- I mean, she was shoving Belle's head into her crotch, still moaning my- FUCK! BELLE'S name, and in the middle of all that, some jackass rebel group started a raid. And normally I would have no problem squashing that super quickly, but, I was, distracted! Apparently so distracted that they actually managed to knock a section of the world sim offline and steal a bunch of the humans I had already captured like a year ago.

It's the first time I actually lost progress. I don't like that.

So next time we meet, I'm gonna tell Francine we can't do keep going with it anymore. I'll set her up with some simmed character, she can do whatever she wants with her, and just leave me out of it.

...I mean, I really should just send the simmed character to meet with her instead of me.

But... she deserves one last face to face with me, right?

Yeah.