ᵗʰᵉ 𝒆ternal 𝒐ptimist

“If you're gonna be this stupid I need some time alone to calm down.” “It's been a long and arduous journey.” “It was never my intention to hurt him.” “I just wanna stab someone.” “You are a brave, brave man.” “He keeps trying to get us to join his film club, which I keep telling him would never work on a planet with no electricity or taste.” “I saw the way he spoke to you, no one looks that hurt if they don't care.” “I get a full nine every night and I'm still a bitch, this is gonna get real.” “He's innocent because he delegates?” “You know you're the only person in the world who can smoke judgementally?” “You're here to bestow a quest.” “No... uh, my water just broke.” “I am [ name ], and I'm angry all the time.” “An, um, so... you know... I probably told him to fuck off... and then, you know, he died for me.” “I haven't heard you this bloodthirsty in... well not that long but... still, it's notable.” “Ovary up, will you?” “Am I on something, or did we try this plan yesterday?” “No, it's potato po-massive-fucking-lie.” “I picked a hell of a week to quit drinking.” “What if we fire the moon?” “Hey! Who the fuck are you?” “I am [ name ], and I am drunk all the time.” “So is this the part where you draw us little diagrams about screwing up the flow of time or whatever?” “Don't give up, 'cause you have friends.” “I may have stolen a weird perfume bottle from a time witch.” “I had to save everyone from you. You chose the dark path.” “I attract the best guys, don't I?” “Did you know they sell pre-sliced bread now? That's the greatest invention since... I don't even know what.” “Well then maybe you didn't love him as much as you think you did.” “You did it when the world was on the line, now do it for yourself.” “You attract basically everyone.” “Excuse us while we briefly sidebar.” “How'd you get so pregnant?” “Come with me if you want to live.” “kind of seems like a hat on a hat when you've already got a moon apocalypse.” “Feeling the wrong kind of boned right now.” “I avoided real college so I wouldn't have to see shit like this...” “We loved each other for a really really long time.” “Foxes all lie. Who'd ever believe their news?” “You want me to remember a solution I came up with at a rager while doing upside down shots in a fur bikini?” “You were part of the plot to kill me, were you not?” “Whatever it is you remember, it's not your fault, okay?” “Yeah, sorry, [ name ] wanted me to say it. It seemed real important to him.” “I have to admit, that's not a motive I'd have guessed.” “I will get out of here... then I'll turn you into lobsters... and eat you.” “To our pretty corpses.” “Don't give up, you're not beaten yet.” “We're in a time loop.” “So we saved the wrong world?” “It's just so beautiful you guys, female friendship really is the most underrated form of love, right?” “Life is pain, ovary up.” “You gotta trust me, just release the goddamn kraken, please please please?” “Apologies, my good lady, for the intrusion into your maison, and for startling you.” “Of course we're the chosen ones, we're us.”

DEREK HALE | “Shape Shifted”

LIKE FOR A STARTER, if you like 🐺💙

“I’m not lying! It was right there! It was right THERE!”

“I refuse to be sick during summer vacation. I refuse.” “Is that a new CD?” “I know it's a cliché, an overused display of power. But it gets the job done.” “You're really worked up, aren't you? I've never seen you like this.” “That's what friends are for, right?” “You just felt sorry for me?” “[ He'll / she'll / they'll ] have powers that humans don’t even dream of. And, incidentally, [ he'll / she'll / they'll ] be immortal.” “Stick with me, kid, and you'll be fine.” “I wasn't sure if you were asleep.” “You'll be strong and quick—and immortal.” “No. [ He / she / they ] wouldn’t want to become like you.” “You don't know? Oh, yeah, you always drop your girlfriends just before summer vacation. Leaves you free to manoeuvre right?” “You jerk, you snake! How can you do this to me?” “It’s sort of like losing a pet. I guess I’ll just have to find another one.” “If you can't resist it why are you trying?” “I'm not scared. I can't explain, but I'm not scared. And I don't want you to be unhappy over me.” “Why are you doing this to me?” “If you're not a monster, then I don't know what is.” “It’s the only way to save [ his / her / their ] life!” “I don't know what you think you're doing with [ name ]—but it's all over now.” “You can't be a vampire. I've known you since you were five years old.” “I go by different laws to you. human laws don't mean much to us, but ours are supposed to be unbreakable.” “Are you sure you're not in love with [ him / her / them ] ?” “Has everyone had breakfast?” “It’s just – there are some things that humans think are more important than just staying alive. You’ll find that out.” “I’m surprised, I thought you liked [ him / her / them ].” “I'd live forever? But would I be able to stop ageing?” “I hate you, you know.” “I was worried you didn't get enough blood last night.” “I don’t want to run away. I want to smash your face in, [ name ].” “You’re just saying that to scare me.” “And what do you eat for a midnight snack? Or are the fangs just for decoration?” “Every time I find her with you, she's as white as a sheet.” “We have a deal, But I'm warning you if you break it, you're in trouble.” “I want to ask your... professional opinion on something.” “From now on you stay away from [ him /her / them ]. Understand?” “So you see there's nothing wrong here.” “I can't just watch [ him / her / them ] suffer. I can't. I have to do something about it.” “I'm glad you came.” “[ name ] should be the one to decide—” “I’ll scratch his eyes out if he comes around here.” “I was so scared—and I wanted to live.” “[ name ] has a disease. Vampires don’t get diseases. Do you need a road map?” “You're the one who's putting [ him / her / them ] in danger!” “It's bad manners to search someone's mind when you're not invited.” “if you don’t want to die, you’ve got to listen to me.” “We're stronger than humans. We see better in the dark. We're built for hunting.” “I know how it sounds, but... [ name ], I'm a vampire.” “Is that what you came here to say? Do you want to kill me?” “Don’t try to run away. That would be a mistake.” “Maybe I'll have to have an operation and I'll have an interesting scar.” “My mom doesn't know I know.” “This is something you won't believe. Not to mention that it's breaking the laws.” “I want a spell—to cure a disease. I don't know if it has to be specific to the disease, or if something more general would work. A—general health spell...”

“You’re turning into a telepath, and I think you already have enough power to read me.” “Don’t wake up until I call you. Just sleep.” “While that’s happening you’ll feel weaker and weaker. And then you’ll just – go to sleep. The change happens while you’re asleep.” “Can I come in? I’ve got something to say.” “Don’t you tell me what to worry about!” “Things have to be just right for this. Get some candles, [ name ].” “You’ll understand later. For now, just trust me.” “I’m all right, so there’s no excuse for you not to be.” “Just remember I love you.” “I guess I was pretty bizarre before, sorry.” “My MP3. And my CDs. I can’t leave them; I can’t.” “If [ name ] stood for anything – if [ he / she / they ] stands for anything – it’s for life. Throwing your life away would be like a slap in [ his / her /their ] face.” “I’ve never met any vampire that powerful.” “We did what we had to do. Now we have to make the best of it.” “All you need to do is go back and live your normal life and keep your mouth shut.” “Just remember, bad magic happens.” “This is the teaching room, grandma does spells here and lets the students hang out.” “No vampire can read everybody’s mind.” “Just this once, believe in what you can’t see.” “I’m glad you’re alive. I love you.” “Is it worth it to save [ his / her / their ] life if she’s lost [ his / her / their ] soul?” “The Solstice party, of course. [ name ' ] giving a big one. Everybody will be there.” “Summer solstice. The longest day of the year. It’s a holiday for the Night People. Like Groundhog Day for humans.” “You know, [ he / she / they ] came to me last night, [ his / her / their ] spirit, I mean. [ He / she / they ] visited me.” “Just hang on a moment while I kill this guy and we’ll go.” “Look, [ name ], I don’t know what gave you the idea that I’m your date here. But I’m telling you right now that I’m not.” “I didn’t know you had a cousin.” “You know, you’ve never really cared about anyone, but someday you will, and it’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt—a lot.” “Things are different for you guys in California. You have to mix more with humans; you have to be more careful.” “You aren’t human after all. Somewhere among your ancestors there’s a witch.” “I don’t see how you people can make laws about not falling in love! It’s insane.” “No, [ name ] is the real thing. The ultimate vampire. [ He / she / they ] doesn’t care about anybody but [ himself / herself / themself ], and [ he / she / they ] loves to make trouble.” “You’re a human, or you should be. [ name ] should never have done what [ he / she / they ] did.” “Come on, [ name ], I’ll be a donor this once.”