mushrooms-n-mars-bars marauders AUs

- in terms of himself, you can call him whatever. he might not like if you go too far with the mushy, soft stuff, but if it makes you happy, so be it

- simplicity is his thing when it comes to nicknames for him; reggie, reg, love, babe, all that jazz

you've heard the saying that in a relationship, what's mine is yours. this definitely applies to yours and regulus's relationship

- you two basically have one large combined wardrobe at this point. what clothes belong to who doesn't matter anymore, if you want to wear it, you will.

- it's very fun to try on all of the overly fancy dress clothes his parents buy him for balls and dinner parties

- "reg, i really don't know why you don't wear this more often." "ugh, stop making fun of me mon ange."

- sharing books, quills, textbooks, and the like

- if you're a reader, he will leave little notes in the margins of your favourite books, sorry

waking up with him is always an experience

- regulus is not a morning person, okay. he will not wake up. no matter what.

- you will have to shake him vigorously whilst shouting at him to get up or he'll be late

- he will try to pull you back into his arms, his chest warm against your back

- but if you aren't a morning person either? good luck

- you'll need to set so many alarms

he loves subtly flirting with you in public

- look i know i said before he isn't one for pda

- but little winks and smirks across rooms?

- compliments bordering on flirty

- getting just a little too close when you're sitting next to each other, your knees brushing against each other

- he sees it as a fun game

sirius lives for teasing you two

- calling you both loverboys 24/7

- teasing regulus when he shows a little more affection than normal

- loves pointing out when you borrow one of his shirts, or when regulus steals your trousers

- "oh? and what's going on here?" "piss off sirius"

- but its fine. you get your revenge by making fun of him and remus

lets talk height differences

- if you're taller? he loves burying his face into the crook of your neck, or just rubbing his face against your jaw (if you've seen the gifs of timmy chalamet, you know what i mean)

- standing on his tiptoes constantly to 'prove' he's taller

- if you're shorter? he'll rest his chin on top of your head at all times, pressing sporadic kisses to your forehead and temples

- doesn't matter if you're only an inch shorter, he will tease you, so long as it isn't an insecurity of yours

also feel like finishing this with a few random things

- always being able to find each other at parties. it's a talent at this point. you'll be wondering where he is, then next thing you know he's right by your side

- a lot of inside jokes. he'll just whisper them into your ear at random times to see you dissolve into laughter, leaving everyone around you like??? why is he laughing so hard??? what did regulus say to him??

- play with his hair. right now. do it.

- also play with his rings. he loves it. "hm? d'you wanna borrow one, mon cher?"

this is all i can think of for now, so i hope these were okay!!! thank you so so much for the request!!!

regulus black taglist; @thesilverskull @lilgayn00dle @apocketfullofstorms @bazpitchs-violin @neilfuckingperrydeservedbetter @pagetpagetpagetpaget @adoreachilles @wlfstxr @cozyballofanxiety @matte-moony @d22malfoys @ms-heartbreak-queen @anderperrysupremacy @teen-years-suck

Page after page turned by your hands, your eyes skimming along the text. Your classmates were all having a difficult time concentrating during the lesson, despite the professor’s attempts at focusing everyone’s attention; endless chatter coming from all directions; laughter filled your ears and a constant movement out of the corner of your eye, which in turn made it difficult for you to pay attention. The movement would be the four idiots you made the mistake of befriending; James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. Remus and Peter weren’t too bad in your opinion, but they generally tended to get dragged into whatever new scheme James and Sirius were plotting. Sometimes, they’d even manage to rope you in. 

Not today, though.

Today you were having lessons with the Slytherins in the year below you, which meant you were solely focused on one thing and one thing only: beating Regulus Black. One might assume that he was a quiet kid who would keep his head down and mind his own business. It was an assumption that would be incorrect. He was an overachieving asshole—at least around you—with a temper as cold as the Black Lake. You had had the privilege of witnessing his very rare outbursts in person, often directed at his brother, Sirius, and sometimes even at you.

You knew that he was at the top of almost all of his classes in his year. How he managed to do so well, you didn’t know, considering he shared the same gene pool as Sirius. It was a constant competition between the two of you, Remus occasionally joining in as well. Right now, though, Remus seemed to be more preoccupied with the other Black brother to pay any attention to the History lesson.

You glanced over at Regulus, seeing him hunched over his book in a horrible fashion, almost looking as if he were asleep. You knew he wasn’t, only by his small movements and the turning of the pages in his book. He seemed to be able to ignore everyone around him fine enough. Even his best mates Rosier and Crouch Jr failed to distract him, though not from lack of trying. Pandora Lovegood and Dorcas Meadowes appeared to be in their own conversation, occasionally throwing glances around the room. You knew them only because of their relation to Regulus, and because Marlene couldn’t stop talking about Dorcas.

Your gaze, however, was still fixated on Regulus. Because you were so focused on him, you barely noticed your Professor of History had begun speaking until Remus nudged your side. You grimaced, but he only nodded in the Professor’s direction. He had begun to assign you into pairs for some new project that would be due, forcing a groan out of you. You hated working in pairs.

Before your mind could catch up to what was happening, everyone had already been paired up, and your professor’s attention was on you.

“l/n, and—“ His gaze flew across the room to the only single person left, “Black.”

Your eyes immediately flew to the spot where Regulus sat, finding his eyes as wide as yours. Your thoughts were voiced as he began to exclaim, “Wait, no— Professor!”

The Professor raised his voice above the chatter of the rest of the class, “If you’re disappointed with your partner—” He sent a pointed look at Regulus, “Please do not come complaining to me, I do not care whatsoever.”

Regulus’ jaw flew shut, but not without a surly expression painting his features. Dramatic bastard, you thought. You’d be stuck with him as well. And in your opinion, your fate was much worse. You considered arguing with the professor, despite of what he’d said. You decided against it. Better make the best of bad situation, right?

With quiet resignation, you heaved a sigh as you gripped your bag tighter and stepped towards him. Immediately his head raised in your direction, but you ignored his glare as you easily sat yourself down in the empty seat beside him, book thrown to the floor and feet kicked onto the table. The younger boy immediately recoiled in his seat; not smaller in his presence, but more reserved. His hand reflexively made its way to block your view of his books and notes, as if to shield any secret information from your eyes.

“Alright there, Black?” you asked with a nonchalance you certainly did not feel.

Regulus’ eyes narrowed, a scowl making its way onto his face. “Your idiot friends annoyed you too much?” he sneered, cocking his head in their direction.

You glanced at the mentioned four idiots, smiling. It was difficult to ignore the pointed looks they were sending you, well aware that they’d take any chance to tease you. Your head turned back to Regulus, meeting his gaze with a wide grin.

“Not annoying enough, no. Thought you’d succeed much better.”

“I am certain you stand for all the annoyance that is in my current vicinity,” he scoffed.

Your face twisted into a hurt expression, a hand pressed to your chest. But you couldn’t keep the corner of your lips from tugging up in amusement. “Oh, Black, and here I was thinking you were starting to like me.”

“Let’s just get this over with,” grumbled Regulus, trying and failing to hide his dismay of being paired up together with you. “I’ll do the first section, you’ll do the second one, and we’ll go over it all by the end.”

“Fine by me,” you said while rolling your eyes. The two of you might have been in a competitive rivalry, stretching through different classes throughout the years, but you hadn’t spent that much actual time together. Aside from the occasional sneer or sarcastic comment—or in your case, prank—you’d never properly interacted with him. And save for what Sirius had told you about his despicable demeanour, you didn’t know much about him either.

Regulus was already deep in the coursework, writing on his parchment and glancing to the book every once in a while. You rolled your eyes; what a goody two-shoes. You almost had the mind to say it out loud, but refrained in light of your cooperation. It would only put him in a sour mood—which ultimately made you want to do it more. Even though you were good in class, you liked to consider yourself as something more than just your grades. Regulus, however, seemed to only care about his schoolwork.

“Do you ever have any fun?” you asked him suddenly.

Regulus halted in his writing and looked at you with a confused frown. “What?”

You shrugged and said, “I always see you with your nose in a book, always with that surly expression on your face. It’s like you’re allergic to being happy.”

“I’m happy,” he countered, glaring at you.

“You know what I mean,” you sighed. “I mean having silly, innocent fun with your friends, laughing your arse off, going to parties and doing stupid shit ‘cause you’re too pissed. That sort of fun.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow, almost defensive. “I do have fun.”

You found it hard to believe him. The most introverted and standoffish Slytherin actually enjoyed partying and getting up to drunken adventures? Not a chance.

You voiced your thoughts, saying, “I don’t believe you.”

He leant closer, gripping the edge of the desk. “I do have fun.” Your shoulders raised in a shrug but Regulus’ gaze didn’t stray from yours. He sighed. “You don’t believe me.”

“No,” you whispered mischievously. It wasn’t a question, but you felt compelled to answer anyway.

A breath released from Regulus as he shook his head. “Whatever.”

You shook your head, as well, and returned to your schoolwork. Soon, you were distracted again by Regulus working diligently beside you. The way his focus overtook his entire person almost made it seem as if there was no world outside of the one he created around his work. It was mesmerising seeing his hair fall in locks over his eyes and his lips quietly move along with silent words. You didn’t think you’ve ever taken the time to appreciate him like this. He looked almost peaceful.

Then his hand halted mid-air, his eyes shifting back and forth over the page, and his entire demeanour tensed. It seemed that he was almost unsure of what to do. You could feel the edges of your lips start to quirk as you realised what was going on.

He doesn’t know the answer, you thought to yourself.

A normal thing for any other student, but a reason for gloating and pettiness in your case. You did a quick sweep of the class around you, but all the other students seemed too preoccupied with their own work to notice anything amiss. Your eyes shifted back and forth to Regulus and back at your book. It felt as if your thoughts ran a mile a minute.

Fuck, am I really doing this?

You turned to the boy, grinning. Regulus noticed your stare and looked up hesitantly at you, narrowing his eyes.

“What do you want?” he snapped.

Your smile was cocky as you considered him. You knew you had the upper hand, but still a part of you wanted to help. Not only because you were partners in the same schoolwork, but because you genuinely wanted to help him. Why, you didn’t let yourself think of for too long.

“Listen, l/n, I don’t have time for this,” said Regulus. “Just say something arse-y and leave me be.” His eyes fell to his textbook as your own smile faded.

Is that all he thinks of me?

You cleared your throat before sitting up straight. “Black, as much as I like to be an asshole, I want to help.” You saw his eyebrows furrow as he if he tried to detect the lies in your words.

Am I really doing this?

“What?” His eyes finally met yours, an eyebrow raised in disbelief.

You nodded at his textbook. “With the questions. I saw you needed help.”

I’m really doing this.

Regulus rolled his eyes. “I don’t need any help, and certainly not from you.”

“Huh, could have sworn you hesitated for a second there,” you trailed off while a smile started to tug at your lips. Then you straightened, amusement gone from your tone. “Listen, if you fail, I fail. I’m doing this for me.”

Regulus’ eyes were fixed at a point in front of him, staying silent. You began to wonder if he had even heard you. Maybe he knew you were lying, and an actual part of you wanted to help him instead of blaming it on selfish reasons.

Finally, he sighed, muttering, “Fine, you can help. But no mentioning this to anyone—especially not Sirius and his three dancing mice.”

You tried to smother a laugh. “You know you can be real funny when you’re not being an arrogant prick.” Regulus rolled his eyes as you continued, “Besides, it’s only Peter that is a rodent.”

“What?” he raised an eyebrow.

“What?” you dismissed the comment.

You turned your attention to the paper in front of Regulus. He only sighed and gestured for you to proceed. Between a few competitive comments and the tension between Regulus and his brother, the two of you hadn’t really had the chance to properly speak before. Talking to him was… refreshing, to say the least. Even if it was just to explain the rules of grammar in the mid-twentieth century when the Wizarding English was being affected by the mingling of Muggle English. Today, there was almost no distinction, except from a few terms and phrases; back then, however, people constructed sentences in entirely different ways.

Your interaction with him earlier had left you on edge but you were still intrigued. You didn’t know what, but something was there; it was an itch you couldn’t get rid of but couldn’t help but to scratch. Multiple times while talking did you find Regulus’ eyes on your face instead of whatever you were gesturing to in the text. You were also painfully aware of how close every part of him was to you. Your skin burned when his hand came too close—itching to draw it closer or further away, you didn’t know. You blamed it on your nervousness of being this close to your well known rival, and nothing else.

“—which is why main clauses were written with this subject-verb relationship, instead of what is common in today’s Wizarding English.” You fingers shifted over the page, pointing out the paragraphs you mentioned. When no reply came you glanced at Regulus, finding his gaze already pinned at you.

He cleared his throat, already moving his quill. “Right, yes.”

You sighed, glaring at him. “Alright, what is it?”

“What?” Regulus met your gaze with a seemingly bored tone but widened eyes that betrayed his real feelings. Exactly what those feelings were, you didn’t know.

“You keep staring at me. What’s your problem?” When no reply came you scoffed. “Just spit it out already.”

His head tilted to the side, as if inspecting you. “I keep thinking of what you said earlier. About me not having fun.”

“Oh, yeah? You’re gonna have to prove it, Black,” your smile immediately widened, leaning back in your chair.

You didn’t know why he was so adamant on convincing you, but the Gryffindor in you didn’t back down. An eyebrow arched at the challenge before he levelled his stare on you. He let out a deep sigh.

“Fine, there’s a gathering at the Slytherin Commons tonight. Be at the entrance at seven.” Regulus even smiled, a dangerous smile that showed nothing but pure glee. “I’ll show you fun.”

You hadn’t thought Regulus would take the bait. You’d always known him as the antisocial type, with a calculated cool to him, unlike the hot temper of his brother. In no universe would you have guessed he would invite you to spend time with him just out of spite. The spite part, that was believable, but not him inviting you.

“What? Not gonna give me the password?” Your lips tugged up, not being able to refrain from teasing him. 

He scoffed, turning to his parchment again. “Oh, please, you’d just bring my brother and all his delinquents to ruin our party. Come alone.”

It made you wonder if he was up to something else; maybe something he and his Slytherin friends had cooked up to get the drop on you.

But the offer sounded too good to pass up on and you smiled. “That sounds awfully murder-y.”

Regulus lips tugged into half a smile. “Guess you’re just gonna have to trust me.”

You couldn’t keep your own smile from widening, also turning your gaze to the book in front of you. Despite your previous judgements, you were eager to learn more about Regulus. The better you knew him, the better you could beat him in academic levels, right?

Regulus cleared his throat. “Thanks for this, by the way.”

“Just don’t expect it again,” you said, handing back the book to him. You added with a rushed whisper, “And I did it for me, not you. You’d do well to remember that.”

Regulus considered you with a raised eyebrow, before huffing out, “Whatever.”

His fingers flew by yours, featherlight and barely touching as he took the book from you. It was all it took for the hairs on your arms to raise and your pulse to quicken suddenly and unexpectedly. You drew your hand back as if burned by his touch. His gaze met yours, a suspicious narrowing in them. You hoped that he didn’t note the slight warmth that had spread across your cheeks; or if he had, would choose to ignore it.

The rest of the lecture flew by, almost entranced by the course work at hand. You actually enjoyed studying, as crazy as it might sound. And it made it slightly easier forgetting you were currently working together with Regulus Black. It was even sort of… nice.

Soon, the professor dismissed the class and you handed your parchment to Regulus for him to combine them and turn them in to your professor. You caught his gaze, saw the thoughts swirling in his eyes, an ongoing battle seeming to unfurl inside that brain of his.

“This was tolerable, I guess,” he managed to force out at last.

You gave him a lopsided grin. “I agree, I can be quite the chap.” Regulus rolled his eyes as you stood up, taking your books in your hand.

Regulus muttered another, “Whatever,” before leaving the desk to join his group of friends. 

“See you at seven,” you threw over your shoulder with a grin, before turning your attention to your own group of friends. You saw them pack up their books and quills with strays of laughter reaching you. You already dreaded their taunts and teases. Behind you, you heard Crouch Jr and Rosier exclaim in harsh whispers and loud laughter, while Regulus stood between them, stone-faced. Between the two, you much preferred your Gryffindors’ jokers.

You hurriedly made your way out of the classroom and practically got jumped by James and Peter, stumbling with their weight around you. You couldn’t help but bark out a laugh, when Marlene and Mary then opened their mouths with the same glint of mischievousness in their eyes.

“Oi, you looked pretty chummy there,” said Mary.

“Yeah, when you changing to the Slytherin House?” asked Peter.

“Snogging with Regulus, huh?” That was James.

Sirius emerged from the classroom with Remus, grimacing, “Oi, that’s my brother you’re talking about. I don’t wanna hear it.”

You were silently thankful for Sirius’ disgust of hearing of his brother’s paramours; maybe that could keep them from pestering you. You listened to them absentmindedly, only processing half of what was being said. The other part of your mind was focused behind you, where Regulus had just exited with Crouch Jr and Rosier, his usual stoic expression on his face. You glanced at him, seeing Regulus meet your gaze and his lips tug into a smile almost imperceptibly.

Maybe you imagined it? The conversation you’d had with him implied there was more to him than what was perceptible at first glance, and you were intrigued to find out more. Your head whipped around to your friends again, rubbing the back of your neck.

Mary eyed you knowingly, crossing her arms. “Couldn’t get enough of the Slytherin, huh?”

You settled her with a glare, sighing. Guess they weren’t done with their remarks quite yet. “We were just working on the project together and he didn’t know an answer to one of the questions, so—”

“So you decided to take the opportunity to flirt with him,” interrupted Mary. Your glare returned to her, releasing a huff.

Marlene leant on the tips of her toes to rest her cheek on your shoulder. With a wicked glint in her eye, she whispered, “Better be careful so you haven’t got Slytherin cooties on you.”

You sent her a seething glare, muttering, “You’re one to talk.”

Her cheeks turned red and she quickly shut up, her teasing remarks forgotten. She muttered something you couldn’t hear, but chose to ignore her. The rest of them weren’t so easy to shut up, and you bit down your own remarks as the rest of them erupted into laughter, keeping your face cool and walking off their comments.

It didn’t stop them from making more. They trailed behind you, jumping and laughing with glee. Sirius looked almost as annoyed as you, but you could tell even he found the situation amusing despite whatever dispute was between the Black brothers.

You considered telling them about the invitation to the Slytherin party and about the way you had challenged Regulus to prove you wrong. However, you could almost see Sirius’ face fall in your mind when you told him that you would genuinely want to go, without any ulterior motive. He would see it as a betrayal to your friendship; even considering wanting to willingly spend time with Regulus when the two were on such poor terms was a form of betrayal. So, you thought better of it and kept your mouth shut.

They kept up their teasing the whole way to the Gryffindor tower, finding it weirdly hilarious. Why, you couldn’t understand. But you couldn’t keep them from it. As soon as the painting swung open and gave you passage to the common room, you immediately dropped into the sofas beside the fireplace. Remus sat next to you, letting the others settle around you, and immediately turned to the page he had been at in his book. You marvelled at his ability to read at anytime and at any place. James, Sirius and Peter curled up together on the sofa opposite you, throwing playful jabs at one another, while Marlene and Mary’s faces lit up in smiles. Their bags had been dropped in a heap on the floor beside them.

Before anyone could get a word out, a figure stepped through the portrait’s entrance, her red hair trailing behind her. James started, jumping from the sofa and calling out to her. She looked up from her book and smiled, running towards the rest of you. She threw her book bag by her feet, claiming the spot next to you.

“Perfect timing.” Sirius’ grin was back, his eyes full of glee. “Lily, guess what happened today?”

“Bloody hell,” you groaned, chest heaving with a sigh as you laid down in her lap, covering your face with your hands. Apparently Sirius was no longer annoyed by the topic but found it just as entertaining as the rest of them. You weren’t sure which was worse. “Can we not?”

Lily chuckled, looking down at you. “I’m guessing it has to do something with your poor mood.”

The fire from the hearth cast an orange light across the ground, flickering against everyone’s faces. The sky was turning grey outside, the sun going down over the Black Lake. You saw James lean forward on his elbows through the gaps of your fingers, and Peter was practically bouncing in his seat with a grin to match Sirius’.

“It has something to do with him, alright,” said James.

You blew out your breath through your clenched teeth and sat up again. If they’d just drag this on forever and avoid getting to the point, you might as well just rip the bandaid off. “I got paired up with Regulus in class today, that’s all.”

Lily looked to Sirius. “Your brother?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“Well that’s not too bad.” She looked between you and the others. “What’s the big deal, then?”

“There’s no big deal,” you said. You turned to the rest of them. “I was only studying with him, I don’t get what’s so funny about that.”

Peter cocked an eyebrow. “I’ve seen you studying before, you’re always quiet.” He turned to the rest of them, question written in his eyes. “Right? You guys have seen him?”

“Yeah,” exclaimed James, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “You refuse to talk to anyone when actually studying. Almost as boring as Moony over there when he’s reading.”

Remus lowered his book to send a glare toward James. “Hey!” he sneered.

“What Prongs means,” said Marlene, “is that you were doing more than just studying. Especially considering you supposedly despise Regulus.”

You shrugged with defeat, dragging a hand over your face. You knew they could go on forever if you didn’t stop them, and you were in no mood to be stuck here all night. So, you finally exclaimed, “Okay, fine! I was helping him study. Happy?”

“My brother needed help?” asked Sirius, suspicion lacing his words.

“Yes,” you bit out. “I don’t think I understand what your point is.”

Sirius’ head tilted while Peter’s smile faded a little. Mary turned in her seat, an eyebrow cocked. “What our point is, my dear,” said Mary, “is that you actually chose to help the mini Black.”

“Actually more like helping myself,” you muttered. At their glares you rolled your eyes. “So?”

“So?” answered Marlene. “You don’t find that even a tiny bit suspicious?”

“What?” you frowned, honestly having no clue as to what she was implying but still dreading the answer. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about your crush.”

You choked on air upon hearing her words, with every eye turned towards you. Sirius looked at you incredulously, his leg bouncing and a sour expression on his face. The rest of them seemed a lot more amused. Marlene sat on the floor and leant against Mary’s leg, chuckling lightly. Lily smiled, but chose to ignore their comments.

“He’s my brother,” sneered Sirius.

“And a Slytherin,” added Peter, as if it were any worse than Sirius’ statement. Maybe it was, but you chose to ignore it.

“Frankly, it’s quite obvious,” said Mary.

Remus fully put down his book, closing it against his thigh. He almost looked disappointed. “Mary’s right.”

You glared at him. “Et tu, Brutus?” He rolled his eyes and resumed reading his book.

“We all know how you’ve been in rivalry with the lad since the beginning of times,” said Marlene with a pointed glance.

“I like to do well in school, so what? That doesn’t mean I fancy him.”

“Fine,” countered James, through gritted teeth. It seemed as if they were all just teaming up to attack you. “I’ve been talking about Quidditch for years, but you only got interested in joining the Gryffindor Quidditch team after Regulus became a seeker on the Slytherin one.”

You winced, because that was a difficult thing to explain away. Frankly, even you were unsure as to what made you suddenly interested in Quidditch. All you knew was that suddenly you had noticed a player with a mop of black curls and got the urge to join the game. You could only counter with a meagre explanation, “I became possessed by the House spirit, is all?”

Marlene raised a sceptical eyebrow. “Or, hear me out, you wanted another excuse to be in rivalry with Regulus.”

“He’s a competitive arse, why would I want another excuse to be around him?”

“You jump at every chance to prank or annoy him,” said Peter, way too gleeful for his own good. You vowed to get back at him and the others some day, some way.

You cocked your head in Sirius’ direction. “I’m only doing the decent thing and helping Sirius get back at his git of a brother.”

Mary turned to Lily, her head tilted and face twisted in mock confusion. “What’s what they say about when a boy is mean to someone?”

“That he fancies them,” said Lily with a broad smile.

“So suddenly you guys fancy Snivellus?”

You were glaring at her, but the question was directed toward the entire group. Remus remained impassive, as if he hadn’t heard the comment, but the rest of them couldn’t help but bark out a laugh and grimace at the thought. You smiled at their discomfort. Serves the bastards right.

Mary was the first to compose herself, levelling you with a stare. “Stop avoiding the subject.”

“I’m not avoiding anything,” you exclaimed, throwing your hands out in the air. “You’re the ones making up stuff that aren’t there!”

“Normally when my brother is brought up you’ll sneer,” Sirius muttered. You glared at him, anger radiating off your person. You didn’t even bother retorting, but only rolled your eyes. Dramatic bastard, you thought. Just like his brother.

“Whatever you say,” James chimed in, snickering behind his covered mouth, while sending glances at Peter.

You sighed, standing from your seat and taking hold of your bag. Remus looked up with a raised eyebrow. “Now, if you would excuse me, I have other stuff going on than to sit here with accusations thrown at me.”

“What other stuff?” chirped Marlene.

“Homework.”

“What?” asked Mary, far from genuine in her question. “You didn’t finish it all with Regulus today?”

“No,” you bit out, striding towards the stairs to the dormitories with their laughter echoing behind you.

You loved your friends, but they could be real arses sometimes. Maybe it was a good thing you were going to spend some time with other people for a change. You threw your bag to your bed as soon as you entered your dorm, shutting the door after you. Your dormitory was shared with three other guys, who where currently not present, and laid just beside the other Marauders’. It gave you enough privacy and time away from them, while still being close enough when needed for pranks. It also allowed you to hear the occasional laugh and shouts through the walls.

You changed from your uniform, pulling on a pair of black trousers and a loose shirt over your torso. It wasn’t a fancy outfit by any means, but it was an almost perfect blend between party and casual, and it complimented your figure. You hastily put on some black kohl on the waterline of your eyes, blinking against the contrast. Remus called it guyliner, but you and Sirius liked to refer to it as gayliner. With one last look at yourself, you were satisfied and flashed a grin to your reflection, before rushing down the stairs again.

The rest of the group were still there, deep in their discussions. Something made you suspect they were still talking about your class with Regulus, but you tuned them out with a shake of your head. The idiots could amuse themselves however they wished, as would you. Silently and quickly, you made your way to the painting at the entrance, swinging it open and climbing out. None of them seemed to notice you, too busy in their conversation.

Alex: why are you holding your chest? Do u have an arc reactor up there?

Reg: 🧍

Alex: yeah ur right I'm most likely to be iron man out of the two of us

Alex when Regulus makes him touch his chest without his binder as his way of telling him: oh my God I thought you couldn't get sexier. Not that I'm fetishising, because that's wrong and awful, but wow.

Regulus: -_-

Regulus: you don't think I'm disgusting?

Alex: youre asking a bisexual to be disgusted by boobs on a male. I think you're the one that should be disgusted

Alex: shoves his whole head up Reg's jumper

Regulus: WHAT THE FU-

Alex, enjoying the view: youre so hot marry me

Regulus: okay but I have boobs and I'm a man

Alex: okay so does Chris Evans?