Here I am. Speaking up my feelings, late night thoughts, again.
I’m afraid of forgetting what I wanna say, or just that the way I feel changes due future circumstances, but rn it feels honest and true and what I actually should do. My terapist would be proud.
I’m on a situation where it’s so close yet so far of what I “truly desire”. So I’ll tell you. We’re different af, and I honestly don’t know why we got this far. Maybe it’s the organic way we met each other, and how you showed me back then, that this is a world of possibilities. I hate grumpy people, but somehow, you’re not actually grumpy, and pretending that you are, quite triggers me to make you laugh or lose your “posture”. I really like how vulnerable you get when no one is around, how do you call me because my shower is giving electrical shock and we laugh cause I slipped on the wet floor. And gosh, the sex.
Come on, I can’t be feeling all of this alone. But you keep me pushing me every time something gets intense on a different way. Gemini?. I won’t blame the stars, that’s on you. I’ve been at this same position, not so long ago, I feel you. But I won’t call you anymore, I can’t be the only one who does it, even if I’m only being a woman that knows what she wants. I ask myself if it’s because I’m not the hyped styled girl you’d like to have, or if our concept of great parties is different, or if your friends think your too cool (maybe that’s my mind tricking me). But set yourself free!! Stop caring about what others may think, show your face on the pictures, laugh in front of everyone. You’ll never be this young EVER again, live here and now!!
Enjoying your company doesn’t mean that I wanna marry you, calling you for a smoothie during mba break doesn’t mean you’re the only one I have. It’s not a lack of options, it’s a choice. And I won’t choose who’s not choosing me back.
And trust me, my bar is low when it comes to that. I don’t ask for too much, but come on!!! I’m silenced on your Instagram, everytime you expose yourself a little bit on a message you delete it. I won’t hurt you.
I don’t even know what I’d like to have with you, I’m not even sure if I believe in monogamy, but come on, I’m way too much for settling to this lack of interest (and I know that you can give more than this, since you already have). Putting some new boundaries on my life. I wish I could send this to you, but you don’t speak English lol. And you’d think I’m nuts.
But I don’t live for half experiences, not anymore.
yousharknotpass
tangentwithtanner
areudirty
stormborns
germansingergirl
