Claire Dearing-Grady

Brian: We all have our demons. Brian, grabbing Roger: This one’s mine.

Roger: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. Brian: I’m worried about you.

Roger: Help! I’m drowning! Brian: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water! Roger: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

Brian: How do you want your coffee? Roger: Black, like my soul. Brian: Brian: Roger, your soul is a latte.

Brian: We're having a baby. Adam: Oh, congratu- Roger, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.

(Chuckles drunkenly.)

Are you drunk-

Maybe~~~ (Giggles)

Ok that means yes

Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.

Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes

You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?

How am I supposed to know that??

See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.

Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.

Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?

I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born

So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??

No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.

But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.

Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*

(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.

You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you

Was I there when you were born?

You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital

Why not?

Because you didnt knew me yet

Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!

Aaaand how do you wanna do that?

(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.

I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it

So let’s find a time traveler!

I don’t think those exist..

Tell that to Joshiiie~

Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history

(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?

Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.

(Gasp) But but then who I married?

To me

No way!

Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*

I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.

Yes you are. You bought it.

How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.

With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.

No~ but you can hold my hand

Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.

*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk

Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.

Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.

I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.

You’re not getting anything with alchohol.

Aaaaauw! (whines like a 5 year old.) Fine… I’ll go get it. (I walk with wobbly legs, singing a song in Italian and out of tune, dragging the words and went to my mini bar with the intent of emptying that bottle of jack Daniels I left there.)

Owen no~ come here.

Waaait, I’m getting my drunk juice (Giggles a d reaches the bar, taking the end of the bottle to my mouth.) Hello old friend… (Takes a large sip.)

*I walk over to you and snatch the bottle away from you* no more drinks for you.

Heeey (I protested reaching for the bottle.) I’m thirsty

You can drink water. *Sips the bottle*

Noo, mine (I groan and leaned on you giving you a sloopy kiss on the cheek.) C'mon, give me my bottle, babe.

Nope you’re not getting it back

Please, babe. Pwease.

*Drinks all of it* You can have the bottle

No, no, no nooooo!!! I want what was inside that bottle! (Pouts) I grab another one. (Goes behind my minibar to grab another bottle but of vodka.)

Nooo don't! *Grabs your arm*

(Chuckles drunkenly.)

Are you drunk-

Maybe~~~ (Giggles)

Ok that means yes

Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.

Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes

You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?

How am I supposed to know that??

See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.

Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.

Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?

I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born

So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??

No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.

But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.

Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*

(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.

You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you

Was I there when you were born?

You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital

Why not?

Because you didnt knew me yet

Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!

Aaaand how do you wanna do that?

(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.

I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it

So let’s find a time traveler!

I don’t think those exist..

Tell that to Joshiiie~

Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history

(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?

Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.

(Gasp) But but then who I married?

To me

No way!

Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*

I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.

Yes you are. You bought it.

How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.

With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.

No~ but you can hold my hand

Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.

*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk

Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.

Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.

I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.

You’re not getting anything with alchohol.

Aaaaauw! (whines like a 5 year old.) Fine… I’ll go get it. (I walk with wobbly legs, singing a song in Italian and out of tune, dragging the words and went to my mini bar with the intent of emptying that bottle of jack Daniels I left there.)

Owen no~ come here.

Waaait, I’m getting my drunk juice (Giggles a d reaches the bar, taking the end of the bottle to my mouth.) Hello old friend… (Takes a large sip.)

*I walk over to you and snatch the bottle away from you* no more drinks for you.

Heeey (I protested reaching for the bottle.) I’m thirsty

You can drink water. *Sips the bottle*

Noo, mine (I groan and leaned on you giving you a sloopy kiss on the cheek.) C'mon, give me my bottle, babe.

Nope you’re not getting it back

Please, babe. Pwease.

*Drinks all of it* You can have the bottle

(Chuckles drunkenly.)

Are you drunk-

Maybe~~~ (Giggles)

Ok that means yes

Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.

Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes

You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?

How am I supposed to know that??

See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.

Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.

Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?

I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born

So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??

No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.

But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.

Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*

(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.

You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you

Was I there when you were born?

You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital

Why not?

Because you didnt knew me yet

Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!

Aaaand how do you wanna do that?

(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.

I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it

So let’s find a time traveler!

I don’t think those exist..

Tell that to Joshiiie~

Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history

(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?

Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.

(Gasp) But but then who I married?

To me

No way!

Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*

I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.

Yes you are. You bought it.

How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.

With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.

No~ but you can hold my hand

Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.

*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk

Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.

Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.

I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.

You’re not getting anything with alchohol.

Aaaaauw! (whines like a 5 year old.) Fine… I’ll go get it. (I walk with wobbly legs, singing a song in Italian and out of tune, dragging the words and went to my mini bar with the intent of emptying that bottle of jack Daniels I left there.)

Owen no~ come here.

Waaait, I’m getting my drunk juice (Giggles a d reaches the bar, taking the end of the bottle to my mouth.) Hello old friend… (Takes a large sip.)

*I walk over to you and snatch the bottle away from you* no more drinks for you.

Heeey (I protested reaching for the bottle.) I’m thirsty

You can drink water. *Sips the bottle*

Noo, mine (I groan and leaned on you giving you a sloopy kiss on the cheek.) C'mon, give me my bottle, babe.

Nope you’re not getting it back

(Chuckles drunkenly.)

Are you drunk-

Maybe~~~ (Giggles)

Ok that means yes

Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.

Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes

You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?

How am I supposed to know that??

See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.

Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.

Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?

I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born

So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??

No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.

But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.

Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*

(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.

You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you

Was I there when you were born?

You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital

Why not?

Because you didnt knew me yet

Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!

Aaaand how do you wanna do that?

(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.

I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it

So let’s find a time traveler!

I don’t think those exist..

Tell that to Joshiiie~

Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history

(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?

Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.

(Gasp) But but then who I married?

To me

No way!

Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*

I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.

Yes you are. You bought it.

How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.

With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.

No~ but you can hold my hand

Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.

*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk

Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.

Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.

I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.

You’re not getting anything with alchohol.

Aaaaauw! (whines like a 5 year old.) Fine… I’ll go get it. (I walk with wobbly legs, singing a song in Italian and out of tune, dragging the words and went to my mini bar with the intent of emptying that bottle of jack Daniels I left there.)

Owen no~ come here.

Waaait, I’m getting my drunk juice (Giggles a d reaches the bar, taking the end of the bottle to my mouth.) Hello old friend… (Takes a large sip.)

*I walk over to you and snatch the bottle away from you* no more drinks for you.

Heeey (I protested reaching for the bottle.) I’m thirsty

You can drink water. *Sips the bottle*

(Chuckles drunkenly.)

Are you drunk-

Maybe~~~ (Giggles)

Ok that means yes

Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.

Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes

You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?

How am I supposed to know that??

See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.

Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.

Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?

I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born

So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??

No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.

But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.

Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*

(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.

You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you

Was I there when you were born?

You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital

Why not?

Because you didnt knew me yet

Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!

Aaaand how do you wanna do that?

(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.

I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it

So let’s find a time traveler!

I don’t think those exist..

Tell that to Joshiiie~

Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history

(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?

Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.

(Gasp) But but then who I married?

To me

No way!

Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*

I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.

Yes you are. You bought it.

How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.

With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.

No~ but you can hold my hand

Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.

*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk

Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.

Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.

I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.

You’re not getting anything with alchohol.

Aaaaauw! (whines like a 5 year old.) Fine… I’ll go get it. (I walk with wobbly legs, singing a song in Italian and out of tune, dragging the words and went to my mini bar with the intent of emptying that bottle of jack Daniels I left there.)

Owen no~ come here.

Waaait, I’m getting my drunk juice (Giggles a d reaches the bar, taking the end of the bottle to my mouth.) Hello old friend… (Takes a large sip.)

*I walk over to you and snatch the bottle away from you* no more drinks for you.

(Chuckles drunkenly.)

Are you drunk-

Maybe~~~ (Giggles)

Ok that means yes

Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.

Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes

You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?

How am I supposed to know that??

See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.

Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.

Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?

I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born

So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??

No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.

But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.

Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*

(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.

You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you

Was I there when you were born?

You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital

Why not?

Because you didnt knew me yet

Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!

Aaaand how do you wanna do that?

(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.

I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it

So let’s find a time traveler!

I don’t think those exist..

Tell that to Joshiiie~

Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history

(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?

Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.

(Gasp) But but then who I married?

To me

No way!

Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*

I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.

Yes you are. You bought it.

How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.

With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.

No~ but you can hold my hand

Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.

*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk

Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.

Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.

I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.

You’re not getting anything with alchohol.

Aaaaauw! (whines like a 5 year old.) Fine… I’ll go get it. (I walk with wobbly legs, singing a song in Italian and out of tune, dragging the words and went to my mini bar with the intent of emptying that bottle of jack Daniels I left there.)

Owen no~ come here.

(Chuckles drunkenly.)

Are you drunk-

Maybe~~~ (Giggles)

Ok that means yes

Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.

Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes

You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?

How am I supposed to know that??

See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.

Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.

Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?

I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born

So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??

No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.

But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.

Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*

(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.

You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you

Was I there when you were born?

You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital

Why not?

Because you didnt knew me yet

Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!

Aaaand how do you wanna do that?

(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.

I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it

So let’s find a time traveler!

I don’t think those exist..

Tell that to Joshiiie~

Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history

(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?

Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.

(Gasp) But but then who I married?

To me

No way!

Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*

I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.

Yes you are. You bought it.

How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.

With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.

No~ but you can hold my hand

Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.

*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk

Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.

Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.

I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.

You’re not getting anything with alchohol.

(Chuckles drunkenly.)

Are you drunk-

Maybe~~~ (Giggles)

Ok that means yes

Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.

Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes

You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?

How am I supposed to know that??