This thanksgiving home is a gr8 reminder of why I've lived alone since age 16 and why I need to be alone/don't see people 90% of the time. It's so amusing to me that I've been all into meditation and yoga and peaceful, happy living and whatnot for the last few months and managed to convince myself that my emotional state was finally stable, but the minute I came home it all shattered within about twenty minutes. I know I can always fool myself into thinking that I've solved my problems by just running away; I did it when I was 16 and moved to Paris, I did it after my 18th birthday by getting on a flight to Barcelona, I did it at the end of last March by hopping on the first train out of Paris, and I did it three weeks ago by moving to New York. However, at the end of the day, I have to remind myself that they're still there and always will be until I've actually dealt with them instead of just physically and emotionally removing myself from their presence and trying to forget they exist. So, instead of getting on a train, or locking myself in my room, or going to sleep for hours on end, I've decided to stay and face the reality of everything I try to pretend isn't an issue in my life. I can't run and hide forever, and it's about time I learned to stop doing that. Time to growwwww up.
theartofmadeline
areudirty
gamechangershow
romaincrisis
