✨YEEHONK✨

unfortunately, this is a heavily debated topic, and too many new clown owners make this mistake.

short answer: no, not unless you’re experienced in clown handling.

long answer: mimes are fairly exotic in the clown world. while they sometimes do well paired up with another mime, due to their silent nature, it is extremely difficult to tell whether or not the pair is compatible to the untrained eye. and, again, due to their silent nature, being in close proximity of other clown breeds can be very stressful to both the mime and the other breed, as most clowns are noisy and use various sounds to communicate with each other. the other breeds’ methods of communication stress them out because another mime would only make noise if something was very, very wrong, while most other clown breeds would only be silent for prolonged periods of time if something was very, very wrong. they both end up stressing each other out due to the obvious communication barrier, believing each other is sick, upset, or hurt. many inexperienced handlers make the mistake of attempting to cohab mimes with other breeds and don’t realize that them coddling and comforting each other and staying in close proximity is more due to stress and worry—thinking each thinking the other is deathly ill and trying to help—than love and attachment.

for example, imagine if half of all humans sobbed to express their joy, tears streaming down their faces and all, and laughed to express extreme distress, while the other half was just the opposite. now imagine one of each half meeting for the first time. they both would think something is terribly wrong with the other. that’s how mimes feel about most other clown breeds and vice versa.

Ah, I’m so happy to finally get to this topic! Clown babies, or sometimes called Jollies, are honestly the cutest things I’ve ever seen. As you may know, clowns aren’t born with their colorful plumage! They’re actually born almost completely white, as you can see in this picture of a newborn jollie.

This jollie can be no older than one week. Clowns are born knowing how to stand and walk, but just like other animals, their hearing and sight is underdeveloped. And aren’t they adorable?

The mother should always be close by during this time, although care varies from breed to breed. Mimes are the closest to how humans care for babies, while breeds of party clowns seem to be the farthest. I’ve heard of party clown mothers juggling their babies! The owners are always there to make sure the jollies are safe though. Plus, jollies aren’t as delicate as human babies.

Here’s a jollie that must be a couple months old! His head-to-body ratio is evening out, and he’s gaining black plumage. At this stage, jollies begin to show traits of their breed, like the strong black sad-appearing eyebrow marking on this jollie’s face. They usually have odd proportions that may or may not carry into adulthood, as seen with this jollie’s feet.

The mother begins to separate during this time. If she’s too doting over her jollies, it stunts growth, and makes them dependent. The only time that a mother would do that was if she is apart of a troupe, to teach them complex social skills. The fathers are sometimes introduced at this stage. They weren’t introduced before, due to the “holdover” effect from wild clowns. When in the wild, the father clown would sometimes eat the newborn jollies. This instinct hasn’t been completely eradicated, so mothers will keep their children away until they consider it safe.

And here is a six month old jollie! She looks to be almost ready to leave her mother. Notice the detailing on her plumage, her evened out proportions, and her far more complex facial markings. This is a very fancy jollie, likely a purebred British Royal Court Jester. She is fully self-reliant, can perform tricks, and has learned to communicate perfectly with other clowns. Other breeds will look drastically different at this stage, but it all stays the same — they’re ready for a forever home!

It’s important to note that even though clowns at this age can be separated from the mothers, and can be adopted by new families, it’s always a good idea to set up days where the jollie can see his or her parent(s) again. Clowns value the familial ties, and will cherish their time spent with those who raised them.

Oh, that’s quite broad, but I’ll try my best to go over the general breeds! First off, I’d like to clarify that these are the breeds, and they don’t account for the “subbreeds” or “mutts” that exist.

1. Sad Clown - These clowns are, well, sad! But not really. Sad clowns have a unique way of emoting, where they look upset when they’re happy, and happy when they’re upset. Their emotions look flipped, essentially. Sad clowns are considered their own breed, so there are different subbreeds, such as the gothic clown (one of my favorites - so moody!). You have to go into the experience knowing that your clown will seem a bit more detached than a party clown, and that’s okay.

2. Party Clown - These clowns go by a variety of names. Party clowns, western clowns, happy clowns, bright clowns, performance clowns, they’re all the same. It’s the quintessential clown look and attitude! They make balloon animals, use cream pies, and usually have big red noses. If you ask a child to draw a clown, typically they will draw this breed. They’re one of the easier breeds to get information on, but they are high maintenance.

3. Care Clown - Sometimes called service clowns, these clowns are specifically bred to be more non-threatening and low-energy than their counterparts. They specialize in helping the owner, so their comedic routines are far less frequent than a party clown’s. They’re the lap clowns, total sweethearts, but they cost a pretty penny to adopt. Almost no rescue shelters would have a care clown to adopt, since they’re in such high demand and they often get trained by experts in the field.

4. Mime - A fun breed, mimes are best known for their silent nature and skilled acting. Many people try to act alongside their pet mimes, since the mime’s routine is so interesting. Mimes typically have black and white plumage with spots of red, although I’ve seen some with wilder colors. They also tend to be on the thinner side, but their appetite is larger than a usual clown’s. This is due to how rigorous the routines really are. Luckily, mimes are often okay with performing on their own, making them a lovely pet for an owner who spends a bit more time out of the house than what’s recommended.

5. Jester - Classic! A TOTAL classic! Jesters were considered the royal breed, and to this day, royal families often have a few pet jesters. Jesters are best at mimicking human speech, so their routines can often be focused on playfully insulting the owner. Their intelligence makes them highly sought after, but due to inbreeding, there seems to be a higher population of jesters who can’t speak. Luckily, purebred culture is dialing back, so inbreeding is becoming less frequent than what was going on a few years ago.

6. Wild/Mutt/Juggalo - These all fall under the same umbrella breed, but there is no unifying term for them. They’re the rowdy clowns, a newer breed that came from increased human socialization and breeding the runts of party clowns. They’re often known as the hardest breed to raise, and some people consider them a lost cause altogether. I wouldn’t recommend raising one for your first clown.

I’ve seen a lot of posts about clown-care, but not enough posts about the proper way to prepare clown meat.

Clown cuisine is wide spread in many parts of the world, the clear markings on many breeds help you to identify the edible and inedible parts of the clown.

Clown meat is divisible into 3 types: Red meat which is edible with minimal preparation, white which must be boiled before you use it in any dish, and blue meat which you must avoid at all costs. A clown raised in a nurtured environment will have a stronger more fragrant flavour so if you’re interested in starting a clown farm make sure you decorate with bright colours.

The easiest breeds to prepare are party clown breeds, however mimes and scare clowns follow similar principles and once you’ve picked up on the others come as second nature. Mimes can be troublesome due to the up to 5-week period of invisibility after hatching and the several weeks of ghosting after that. Scare clowns can be difficult to subdue but the meat is tender and has a rich, full flavour.

You must make sure that you keep your clowns in the appropriate environment for their breed. All clowns enjoy a bright colourful environment so avoid darker colours. Make sure your clowns aren’t ingesting anything that may cause damage to their internal organs. Most clowns can be quite particular about their diet, make sure you don’t buy any brands containing “clown products”, because this can majorly mess with a clown’s psychological development.

In commercial clown farming you’re going to be dealing with large numbers of clowns. With such large numbers its very important to respect the troupe hierarchy. The lead clown (often a blanc/joey) will emerge within 1 week in a newly formed troupe, if one does not emerge after 3 weeks call your local corydonologist to get them checked out. Be careful when introducing new clowns to a troupe, the ringleader may act hostile towards them as a display of dominance but do not interfere unless one of the clowns is injured.

These tips are also helpful to understand clown behaviours when keeping them as pets but are mostly aimed for those keeping large troupes.

The media usually doesn't like talking about this because it would make the clown meat market sales drop.

Remember when the first pictures of the new pennywise came out and everyone was like “that’s too scary!!!” And now we’re out here reading fanfiction about getting absolutely fucking rawed by the sewer clown? Much to think about

fuck it

My take on The losers’ club 🎃