ye gods! there's another one!

If you had to pick one Hollywood celeb for each occasion (as in different people each time unless there's an intentional repeat)

- eat dinner with

- go on a date with (whatever a date might be is up to you)

- party with

- travel with

- work with (on movie set or otherwise)

- fight (as in by their side)

- fight (as in against. get their ass etc etc)

dinner: pearl bailey. i want to eat her mac and cheese and then i want to eat her o[redacted]

date: pearl bailey again?? i'm down bad. i know she's a republican i can fix her

party: norma shearer

travel: i think katharine hepburn could be very fun and very ruthless to travel with.

work: walter plunkett

fight with: hazel scott

fight against: rex harrison. i'm going to kill that man

dinner: audrey hepburn. she would charm me so thoroughly I would just listen to her and forget that I was supposed to be eating something.

date: lauren bacall. have you seen her??

party: peter lorre, because I'm a little awkward and out of place until I get to know people, and I get the feeling he'd have some wild conversation starters so we could just find a corner and keep talking all night.

travel with: buster keaton. I hate the process of travelling, so I think it might be more fun with someone who could make me laugh, or at least make that face of resigned suffering at me.

work with: mae west would be such a fun coworker. she'd have all the gossip about who did what when and she'd pull it out whenever she thought someone was getting to high on themselves, and she'd do it in a way that you couldn't even be mad at her because it was funny. either her or raymond burr, because he would show up, be pleasant, do his job, and leave, and I would never have any idea what the hell was happening in his personal life.

fight with: elizabeth taylor. I feel like she'd be in it to kill.

YIPPEE YAY

here are some hot old movies that I think newbies will enjoy

the rage of paris (danielle darrieux, douglas fairbanks jr.)—this is a cute, deeply underrated romcom about an accidental conwoman, her judgmental best friend, a silly little waiter at a hotel and a bunch of rich guys. mood is cute and sweet

the talk of the town (ronald colman, jean arthur, cary grant)—longtime followers of the blog are rolling their eyes but THIS ONE IS GOOD. the less you know about it going in the better tbh, but uhh it's about what if you sublet your house to a hot judge and there was also a hot criminal hiding in the attic. and you yourself are hot. and there's borchst. trust me on this one please

key largo or the big sleep (lauren bacall, humphrey bogart)—I think the big sleep is the better of these two, but key largo is also a good example of a bogey & bacall noir (plus you get edward g. robinson!). the tension keeps ratcheting up, the two leads are so hot together, and the big sleep in particular is one of the best ensemble casts i've ever seen—a fully built seedy world of tricksters, femme fatales, gangsters, and fog.

flower drum song (nancy kwan, james shigeta, miyoshi umeki)—ok this one is bad! i'm just going to say it off the bat. i have so many complex emotions about it because the cast is killer, the production design is gorgeous, this is a classic 50s-60s big studio musical. writing is racist garbage written by white people and there is one egregious example of yellowface. but if you want to see a nearly all-asian cast absolutely knock it out of the park, I love suggesting this.

his girl friday (cary grant, rosalind russell)—rosalind wants to quit both her ex and the newspaper business; unfortunately she's maybe not over either as much as she thought. mood is snappy reporters yelling into telephones, lovers to enemies to lovers, arguments that read as foreplay. cw for an offscreen subplot that mentions the murder of a Black cop, and one racist slur.

sherlock jr. (buster keaton)—if you're new to silent films, I think Buster is a great way to start. this is maybe his best, but the general and the navigator are also technically good, though require heavy content warnings for being about the idealized confederacy (the general) and having a racist "island savages" section near the end (the navigator).

to be or not to be (carole lombard, jack benny)—a little story about resistance that makes me cry and laugh and cry. this takes place in poland during wwii so big tw for nazi imagery and mentions. (don’t worry. this movie fucking hates nazis.)

the mortal storm (james stewart, margaret sullavan, frank morgan)—this also made me cry. this movie will not be escapism at the present moment which also makes me cry. fuck nazis.

-the rightful heir is a baby and they can tell it’s the right baby because of a giant birthmark on his asscheek

-the main character’s only talent is singing and the rest of the pseudo robin-hood group just kinda tolerate him because he repeatedly fucks up

-he gets hypnotized into believing he is this amazing swashbuckling sword fighting hero along the lines of Wesley from the Princess Bride and ends up fighting the villain while snapping in and out of hypnosis

-the vessel with the pestle has the pellet with the poison, the chalice with the palace has the brew that is true “what”

-he stumbles his way through the entire plot and never knows what the hell is going on

-Danny Kaye is the funniest motherfucker you’ve never heard of

I just did! What a cool guy to know about.

Esmond Knight

Here are a few other vintage hotties with disabilities:

Susan Peters (paraplegic)

Peter Falk (right eye surgically removed due to retinoblastoma)

Claude Rains (permanently blinded in one eye due to gas attack in WWI)

Rondo Hatton (acromegalic)

however! I would like a place to make and reblog silly or informative posts about classic movies, and if you're up for that then stick around. no worries about unfollowing either, do whatever you feel like. I'll be changing my username and profile pic and everything, so I'll make another post about it when that happens.