Blessed Beyond

Sometimes I ask myself if it’s only me who gets distracted during Mass. In those moments, I can’t help but wonder, “Am I truly His daughter, feeling this way?”

So today, before hearing Mass--and as part of my prayer routine--I knelt before the Lord in the Adoration Chapel, asking Him to spare me from negative and worldly thoughts, not only during Mass but also in my daily life.

Thankfully, the Gospel reading during Mass today spoke about freedom (Luke 13:10–17) --the kind of freedom that comes from God. It reminded me that God’s love is what truly guides me through this life.

Once again, I asked the Lord to guide my heart, mind, and body to seek only Him--to free me from worldly distractions and from my own sinfulness.

When I encountered this question, I immediately remembered my reaction during a group discussion in one of the Christian Life Programs where I served last night.

During the discussion, I caught myself thinking, “If I were the discussion leader, I would do this and that instead.” Almost instantly, I felt guilty. I realized that pride had quietly entered my heart, so I prayed and asked God to purify it.

Before, I used to think that my service was futile because it didn’t seem to bear fruit. During the time I served as the assistant team leader for a Christian Life Program for Singles for Christ, we had fewer participants who dedicated, and I thought that meant my service was not fruitful.

But I was wrong. I realized that I had been measuring fruitfulness only by numbers--by how many singles would dedicate--and not by the other blessings God was pouring out in our midst.

After that 12-week program, I saw how the Singles for Christ and Youth for Christ ministries grew closer. Some of our participants even came from YFC, and that strengthened the bond between our communities. Personally, I also became closer to those serving in YFC. I began to understand their daily struggles and how, despite those challenges, they continue to serve God faithfully. Through that experience, I realized that our service truly brought life to others.

Today, I’m reminded that the Lord never gives up on us. I am not perfect, but I have a perfect God who always tends to my needs as I serve Him.

I have a friend from the same faith community Even though we are best of friends we oftentimes misunderstand each other.

While the rift between us would last only for a few hours or a day, it's difficult. Sometimes I am very much eager to fly back to the province to check whether the feeling is still the same when we argued things online or is it not during face-to-face arguments.

We often agree on the same ideas, especially regarding our faith. But may be because of the delivery that we often clash. Too much familiarity to each other's tendencies ika nga.

And in today's gospel I am reminded of how we should handle disagreements.

We start with humility. Knowing and accepting that we have different realities and there are things that we need to also figure out. That our faith is our relationship to God and so to each other and eventually towards others.

To lead with love rather than corrections. I should first ask myself this, "Is what I’m about to say or do leading my friend or someone closer to love [God], or pushing them away?"

As the priest said in his homily today, "The Heart of Jesus is merciful. He forgives. The Heart of Jesus is charitable. He loves. And the Heart of Jesus is life. So that we will be united."

To listen more actively not because there might be things to argue with rather listen to understand the person so as to understand myself as well.

Today, I attended an inter-faith gathering together with some of my colleagues and other affiliates. The topic was about "Sex Abuse Victims Speak: How Healing and Justice Take Place and the Role of NCFC."

In all honesty my stay there was not only an eye opener to what is not being discussed publicly for it is disgusting to some if not to all: Sexual Abuse... and its victims mostly children, teenagers, women.

And in today's gospel the Lord challenges us. To cultivate compassion even if it is uncomfortable. Because in the first hand, it is much more uncomfortable to those who have suffered from that abuse. But to stand with them instead, as Jesus did.

To deepen my empathy. To just listen to them. Just listen. Sabi nga sa session, we have to be aware of these things. Next is to awareness is being involved.

And that even I am also struggling, I pray to be an active co-healer. That I may be one whom can be a safe place to them when or if time comes that my help will be needed.

And that while attending numerous activities as part of my covenant to the Lord thru the community that I am in, I may also be an active Christ advocate of those not yet in the community.

Little did I know that I was actually referring to the Holy Eucharistic Celebration. The very reason of going to the shrine. I smiled at the realization because at that moment my stomach just rumbles. Haha

When I arrived, I spent the first few minutes at the Adoration Chapel. While in prayer, I saw an image of a nun praying. In that moment, I knew I was being invited to pray for vocations--not just for myself, but for all of humanity.

This was affirmed just before the entrance procession when the commentator asked the faithful to pray the Vocation Prayer. And at this time, it reminded me to pray for my own vocation, too.

And in the Mass today, the Lord reminded me to ask for the guidance of Our Guardian Angels. To be honest, I’m not very familiar with the prayer to them--I usually only recite it when others do.

So, I prayed: Lord, may I be able to recite the prayer to Your Angels not only by mouth but by heart. To have a child-like heart that is in total dependence and trust in you. To which I would also trust the people around me.

"As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go. And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”

Is the same with asking me this:

“Are you sure? Because following Me means giving up even basic comforts.”

I may have known about this but..

Just like today. So, I prayed the Holy Rosary.

Before I began, I noticed the image of Our Lady of Perpetual Help.

And only after finishing the Rosary did I become aware of the quiet presence of Our Merciful God.

Sometimes, when I struggle, the presence of God is being unnoticed. Not because He is not there but because I am fixated to the things I am struggling with.

Before reaching my place I get to enjoy the living creations of the Lord: kids laughter, the beautiful view of nature and city life, the smell of leaves and flowers at Farmers Market.

Everything that I enjoyed today is definitely what the Celestial beings (like Archangel Michael, Gabriel and Raphael) are enjoying as well even before I came to this world. They are witnesses and messenger of God's glory. And that they are also witnesses of my existence.

That same question arose in the Homily today.

In all that there is I hope my choices would be different but not indifferent to the Will of the Father.

Lord,

May I continue helping people even when it is inconvenient. Piliing maging mabait at mabuting tao. Amen.

Like, just as the moment I thought I am less of a person in the past days it was also the same time He answered me with this word:

"PAY ATTENTION"

--na kung sa ibang tao nanggaling, sa ibang araw at pagkakataon, I probably would have been annoyed. 😆

But no, I wasn’t. Instead, it lifted my spirit.

For me, He is lovingly reminding me to be more present, to notice what He’s doing and that He really is in control. The emotions I felt, the situations I encountered e hindi lang random. He is reminding me that He is alive, He is doing things miraculously sa mga bagay na wala akong control, and in the very things that I am hoping for.

I've been busy with so many things I forgot to consider Him.

To consider Him whenever I long for my family back home, to consider Him amidst my deliverables and concerns with my life in general.

Yes, I go to church as daily as possible. I read the bible but not often, yes. Parallel read some books on the internet for the papers I am developing or for the many sessions or talks I need to deliver in the next coming weeks.

Just like that. Nothing more, nothing less. That I would just get to know Him because it's part of my routine.

I forget that He is not just someone I study or mention in talks, but Someone who walks with me, waiting for me in my prayer time, and wants my attention.

I forget the essence of Him and my existence. And I am beginning to feel that loss more clearly.

Lord, may I be more intentional in knowing You. This I pray. Amen.

"What about Christ am I genuinely interested in? Have I taken the time to know more about Him?"

There’s nothing more concerning than knowing that He exists yet realizing that I don’t know Him well.

Maybe for quite a time I consider Him a friend or a father, and on the second day a doctor, and on the third day or on the following month a teacher. I can call Him by so many names because He is all of those and more.

But on the other hand, I just realized that I've known Him in fragments depending on my needs.

Also, I may have the time and the means to knowing the Lord more, yet I am stuck. I know that I am just stacked to knowing Him just like that, so vague. Because of my inconsistent prayer life.

Lord, I pray for my heart to long and yearn for You more. To read more of Your Word so that I could listen to You more. Amen.

It has been quite a while since the last time that I was moved in a unique and unusual way while attending a Holy Mass. It was during the time when the priest sends forth His (God's) people at the end of the Holy Eucharistic Celebration.

"The Mass has ended, denounce evil, announce the Good News"

I am reminded that in every after a Holy Mass, another battle begins. But more than that, I just received a power from God! A way to face and finish the day!

But in today’s Gospel, the Lord reminded me that it is precisely because I have sins and weaknesses that I need to draw near to the altar of mercy.

In the Gospel of Luke 8:19–21, it says:

“Then his mother and his brothers came to him but were unable to join him because of the crowd. He was told, “Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, and they wish to see you.” He said to them in reply, “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and act on it.”

To become brothers and sisters in Christ means to strive--in whatever way I can--to choose what is pleasing to God. It means doing my best, despite my faults, to live according to His Word and to keep coming back to Him through the Holy Eucharist.

With this I believe that I am becoming truly His. A family member.

Earlier today, I was very excited. Excited to be able to receive God and be in communion with Him through the Holy Eucharist. And not only that, but I also had a long list of things I planned to accomplish for the day.

From attending the Holy Eucharistic Celebration first thing in the morning after stamping in at the office, to walking to and fro to complete various tasks, to buying personal things on foot. But none of these involves other people.

Yes, I may have had a lot of movements today, yet I was in solitary. It was just me, my feet, my checklist, and the quiet company of the One I had received in the Eucharist.

In the Gospel today (Luke 8:16-18), I was reminded that to be partakers of Christ means not just receiving His life but sharing it visibly—being His lampstand in the world—which I failed to do so when I refused to accompany my housemate in buying goods for the house for tonight's "faMEALy Time" for the reason that it was not part of my to-do list.

Partaking Means Participating

Jesus didn’t give Himself to me in the Eucharist so I could keep Him to myself. He gave Himself so I could become Him for others. In that moment of refusal, I dimmed the lamp He had lit in me—not fully, because I know His grace is patient, but just enough that I noticed.