Gráinne

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Because yes

‘Ever since I made this overly complicated order and you managed to make it exactly the way I asked, I come in every day with even more complicated orders and it’s been my personal goal to get you to fuck up for once since somehow you never do.’

‘Yes I know these prices are a ripoff for just one cup of coffee but I keep telling you that I have no control over the prices so please stop whining about it every time you come here.’

‘I don’t know how you keep doing it but you always manage to make me give you a free coffee every time you come here and today’s the day it’ll sto– shit did I spill hot coffee on you oh god I did i’m so sorry here have this new one on me–’

‘To show you that you’ve pissed off the wrong barista I swear to keep writing your name wrong on your cup and will nEVER STOP–’

‘The coffee shop has a challenge that if you’re able to drink their coffee in one gulp you get it free so even though it’s hotter than a thousand suns I will get my goddamn free coffee (though please take me to the ER when I’m done burning my throat).’

‘You always come in and order specific drinks when you’re in a particular mood and the last time you ordered a black coffee you told me that your dog died on the same day you lost your job and got dumped by your significant other. Is everything okay?’

'You always come in and talk to me about whatever problem is on your mind after buying some coffee and no matter how many times I keep telling you I’m not your fucking therapist you keep doing it anyway. Do you like have no friends or…?’

(Or alternatively for the one above:) ‘Today’s the one day you don’t say a thing but you have the saddest face while waiting for your drink and I’m actually really worried about you. C'mon honey, tell me what’s up.’

'I always come by here to order a coffee during your quiet hours so I can talk to you and keep you company.’

'Whenever I ask what you’d like to order you always respond 'just fuck me up’ so I keep making the weirdest brews and today’s the first time you’ve ever managed to cringe at how awful it tastes.’

(Alternative of the above) 'After mixing so many different brews today you’ve actually said that it tastes delicious and we should sell this but shit I forgot which combination I used this time.’