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Thank you to everyone who got me to 2500 likes!

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James Potter: Returns home with great excitement through portkey* 🥾✨🥹 🪄✨🎶 Gentle music playing, 🕯️lights softly dimmed; 🌺 a meticulous path of flower petals extends from the entrance to the bedroom, he undresses👕👖 🧦, artfully arranged upon the bed, 🤸🏽♂️ 🛌🏽 utterly pleased with himself* 🥹🕯️🌹 Severus Snape-Potter: 🫸🏻🚪The door creaks open, halting momentarily* 👀 he observes the petals, 🌸👣 trailing as he steps into the bedroom, 👣👣👣 coming to an abrupt halt.* 👣 😐 “....” James Potter: 🥹🕯️🌹😏 “My dear Snivelly… this evening, I shall offer my button sprout virginity to you.” Severus Snape-Potter: 🤨 “…How… generous.” 🪄 casts, Incarcerous* 🪢 👐🏼🦵🏽 “Very well. If you insist—bend over, my Mandrake.” James Potter: Face down, hands and feet tied together* 😳😨 “…Ahh-Wait,” Severus Snape-Potter: “For?” James Potter: 😣 “I—I would think that my first time bottoming would be romantic, slow, tender, lovingly,” Severus Snape-Potter: “That’s too bad, my Mandrake,” James Potter: 🥺 “Do you not love me?” Severus Snape-Potter: 😐 “I do.” James Potter: 😨 "Then why am I tied up?" Severus Snape-Potter: 😐 "You presented yourself like a sacrificial offering.” James Potter: 🥺😣😨 “Oh...that is correct. How are you going to proceed, my sweet Snivelly?” Severus Snape-Potter: Hovers over him* 🌺🕯️ “I must first marinate it, then taste it,” *Touches him, sliding hand on the side of his left side slowly* James Potter: 😣 *Quaking* 🧠💭 😳 This is not unfolding as intended. Severus Snape-Potter: 🪄 casts, Aguamenti 🌊🍑 James Potter: 😣 Quaking with apprehension* 🧠💭 😳😣😨 This is MOST certainly not unfolding as intended.
James Potter: 🫤 “What is the matter, Padfoot?” Sirius Black: 😮💨😑 “I am apparently married to a beast.” James Potter: 😐🫤 “What did he do?” Sirius Black: 😕🥺😣 “He thinks he's a certified top!” James Potter: 😐 “I—well—I rather thought that was my department.” Sirius Black: 😓😓😓 “So is mine, Prongs!!!” Louder* 🗣️ “So is mine!!!” James Potter: 😐😐😐 “So… does Rosier ever—compromise—“ Sirius Black: 😓🙄😑 “Do you bottom for Snivellus, Prongs!?” James Potter: 😐 🧠💭 Envisioning Severus's black eyes holding him captive, Severus's delicate form bearing down upon him. The fanciful notion of Severus's length entering him, gradually and filling him entirely to the point where his breath would falter, their perspiration-slicked bodies entwined, the bed yielding beneath their weight. Moaning. Touching. Breathing. 🥵🫂👄🫦👅🗣️🌬️👂💦💧 😳😳😳 Pulls out from thought.* "Padfoot, does bottoming cause you pain?" Sirius Black: 😓🙄😑 “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Prongs.” James Potter: 🥹🥲 "Do you suppose I could manage it? Or do you believe my sweet Snivelly is capable of dealing with all this manliness beneath him?" Sirius Black: 🤨😓😓😓🙄 “I hate you, Prongs.” James Potter: 😨 “W—Why?” Sirius Black: 😓🙄😑 “I came to complain about my husband, and somehow you’re still crushing on your husband as if we were still in our fifth year at Hogwarts.” James Potter: 😨 “How did you know?” Sirius Black: 😓😑🙄 “Even the blind could see your crush on Snivellus,” James Potter: 🥹😍 “I may… conduct an experiment on bottoming this evening.” Sirius Black: 😓😑🙄 “Good, I hope you suffer greatly, Prongs.” Evan Rosier-Black: *Appears via portkey* 🥾✨ “My Puppy.” Sirius Black: 😑😒 James Potter: 😨 "Your husband is here, Padfoot." Sirius Black: 😓😓😓 “I do not care. I am still cross with him.” Evan Rosier-Black: 🪄✨*Black rose 🥀 petals rain from above* Sirius Black: 😒🫤🥺😣 “No—absolutely not. I hate you.” Evan Rosier-Black: 🪄✨draws him closer with a quiet Accio, presses a brief kiss to his lips* 💋 “My dear puppy, have I offended you so terribly? Was I too rough? Tell me where it pains you—“ Sirius Black: *Covers his mouth* ✋ “Prongs is present. I would rather not have our private affairs announced before him.” James Potter: 😨 “I was under the impression that was precisely why I was here.” Sirius Black: 😓😒🙄 Evan Rosier-Black: 🫂*Kisses behind his neck* "Then let us return home," *Lifts him up* Sirius Black: 😒 “I hate you.”
Evan Rosier-Black: 😌😘😚 "Still whimpering, how adorable." *Steps in port key* 🥾 🫂 💋 🚪✨ They vanish.* James Potter: 🤨😐😑 🍷🍶 🧠💭 Hmm, what was I ever here for?
Evan Rosier-Black: *spins the bottle* 🍾🔄↗️ Lands on 🔝 Sirius Black: 🤨😓😒 “Spin it again. The bottle is rigged, or something, it can’t be right.” Evan Rosier-Black: *spins the bottle* 🍾🔄↗️ Lands on 🔝 Sirius Black: 🤨🤨🤨 “You absolute beast—did you use magic?”🪄 Evan Rosier-Black: 😊 “No, my dear puppy, I did not.” Sirius Black:🤨😓 “Show me your hands.” 🙌 Evan Rosier-Black: 😊🙌 Sirius Black:🤨😓 “Spin.” Evan Rosier-Black: 😊🙌 *Twirls* 🧑🏻🩰🌀 Sirius Black: 😓🤨🪄✨ “Legilimens.” Evan Rosier-Black: 🧠💭 👬💞😊♥️ He applies lubricant to Sirius's canal opening 🍑, then carefully maneuvers his firm length towards 🍆Sirius’s entrance 🥑, advancing inch by inch. The snug warmth envelops him, eliciting a deep, contented sigh from his mouth.* 🥵🫂👄🫦👅👂🗣️ “Feel how your body welcomes me, puppy.” Sirius Black:🤨🤨😓😓😓👀 *Watching* 👬🔄💦💧🌊 His back bends, fingers grasping Evan's arms, a gentle gasp 👄💨transforming into a moan as he is entirely filled. Their bodies connect.* "Ruin me. Harder, Evie—you're so thick so deep, Ngh~!" 💭🙄 “Merlin—” pulls out sharply from his mind* Evan Rosier-Black: 😊😍♥️ Sirius Black: 😓😒🙄 “You pervert. You did not even attempt Occlumency.” Evan Rosier-Black: 🥹😍🥰🫂 “Because it’s going to happen real soon,” Sirius Black:🙄😒 “Not if I spin on no sex.” 🍾🔄⤵️ Lands on, baby talk for 3 hours* 😌 “Excellent. Safe category.” Evan Rosier-Black: 🥹🥹🥹❤️😍👂 “Let’s hear 👂 it in bed.” Sirius Black: 😓😒👀 “You beast…” Evan Rosier-Black: 🥹😍 “Wild. Untamed. Yours.”
James Potter: Sitting leaning on the bedframe, watching on the mirror screen* 🪞📱 Severus Snape-Potter: Watching with him* 🫤 On screen. Evan Rosier-Black: 😔🖤 “I am making a public apology to my dear puppy for cheating on him.” Sirius Black: *Nods* 🙂↕️ "Mhm." Evan Rosier-Black: “In his dreams.” Sirius Black: Crosses his arms*😒 Evan Rosier-Black: “Do you now grant me your forgiveness?” Sirius Black: Shakes his head* 😕😒 Evan Rosier-Black: 🫤 “My dear puppy, your subconscious seems intent on tarnishing my good name.” Sirius Black: Turns away* 😓😒😤😠 Evan Rosier-Black: 🫤😪 “How tragic. This burden I shall bear for all eternity.” Sirius Black: Glances back at him* 😐 Evan Rosier-Black:😌 Opens his arms* 👐🏼 Sirius Black: Immediately falls into his embrace* 🫂 Evan Rosier-Black: Kisses his forehead* 💋 “Ah. Is this a token of forgiveness in Gryffindor?” Sirius Black: 🥺 “Do you now converse in Gryffindor?” Evan Rosier-Black: 😌 “No. I simply converse in the language of Sirius Black.” James Potter: 😱😱😱 "My dear Snivelly, it has all become clear to me now," Severus Snape-Potter: 😓😓😓 "What?" James Potter: 😌😍 "Padfoot and I hold such affection for you and Rosier that we find ourselves telepathically envisioning the two of you... cheating on us. Thus, it is only natural that you should be touched by this disclosure." Severus Snape-Potter: 😓😓😓😒

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No memory of ever being intimate with Severus Snape*
James Potter: 😐🫤
*Browsing through Dating Sites*
🤳
Severus Snape-Black, 30 He/Him/His 👨🏫 Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry
My Bio I like deep conversations, strange humour, rainy weather, and dark rooms. I’m drawn to honesty, emotional intelligence, and someone who can balance playful teasing with genuine tenderness. If you can make me laugh when I’m grumpy, remember little details about me, and don’t mind hearing passionate opinions about the Dark Arts, we shall likely get along famously.
About Me Divorced for 2 years. I’ve been through a few life chapters that taught me resilience, honesty, and what I truly want in a relationship. I also spent some time in a complicated situationship after my divorce, but that chapter has fully closed.
🍺 Occasionally 🚬 Occasionally 🧒 Zer0
My location Hogwarts, England 37 Miles away
James Potter: 😐🥹 Scrolling… pauses* “…Snivelly?”
🥹💭 He’s single? Swipes Right ↪️
Severus Snape-Black: 📳 You got a like 👍 see who likes you! Taps
James Fleamont Potter, 29 He/Him/His 👮♂️ Auror and member of the Order of the Phoenix.
My Bio Auror 👮♂️ Hot Dad. Professional snorer. 😴 Harry’s Father. Demi. Hookups? ❌ Swipe left, but my door for that is not entirely closed to a particular someone.
About Me Been divorced for 3 years. Very much seasoned. I’m a hot dad; I like cosy nights in and overanalysing prisoners at the Prisoner of Azkaban as though it were a full-time profession. Most days you’ll find me spoiling my son, rewatching comfort shows, or existing under my invisibility cloak.
🍺 Occasionally 🚬 Never 🧒 One
My location Godric Hollow, England 37 Miles away
Severus Snape-Black: 😓😑 Swipes Left ↩️
James Potter: 😐🥹 📳: see who viewed your profile. Severus Snape-Black. Stares 📱👀 Blinks. 😐
Stares at the screen, rolls on the bed, checks again*
TWO HOURS LATERR
Exhales. 😮💨
Taps.
Message
James Potter: 🙂 🗨️Snivelly… I realise this may sound odd, but have you perchance taken a moment to view my profile?
🥹 I’ve the strangest sense you’d quite like to be under my invisibility cloak.
Severus Snape-Black: 😓 Stares at the message for a very long time*
🗯️I shall be blocking you, Potter.
Thumb hovering over the screen*
Taps*
Blocks*
James Potter: 😨💬 🗨️Responds—greyed out. Severus’s profile disappears*
🤔💭 Hmm.
🥹🙂↔️ That seems rather curious.
Blinks.* 😐 But he did view my profile, didn’t he?
❔❔❔ Ah… shy. Of course.
🙂↔️ Yes, that is the most Snivelly thing he could do.
✍🏽📜 I shall do this the old-fashioned way.
📨✉️🦉🪟
James Potter: 🫤 It is now Sunday, August 21, 1988. Snivelly still hasn’t said he loves me. He did say, “What is wrong with you?”—but if you listen to that backwards in Parseltongue, it sounds rather like, “When will I marry you?”
🥹🥹🥹
😍😍😍
🤭🤭🤭
Severus Snape-Black: 😐 “Potter, why are all your garments scented?” James Potter: 😍😨 “You’re aware of my scent!?” Severus Snape-Black: 😓 “Your detergent is excessively potent.” James Potter: 🥹😍💭 He is aware of my scent—he harbours affection for me! 💗💗💗 Severus Snape-Black: Steps into another chamber of the manor, uncovers owl letters from him dated 1977 within a tin; then, upon a shelf, notices a jar, which he scrutinises—the label reading: Snivelly’s preserved flatulence. 🫙 Removes the lid, gestures with his wand 🪄 to lift the preservation charm, allowing the contents to disperse into the atmosphere—🫙💨 😮💨💭 I must devise a method of erasing his memory of this jar. James Potter: 🚪 Enters* “Snivelly, I’ve had the house-elves wash your clothes—they’ll be dry in the morning. Looks as though you’ll have to stay another night.” 🥹😍 Opens arms* Severus Snape-Black: Walks into his arms 😐💭 I shall do it whilst he is sleeping. James Potter:🗣️ "I had them employ my detergent so that you would carry my scent," 😬🥹😍
James Potter: 🫤😵💫 “My dear, sweet Snivelly, have you ever paused to consider the true source of your problem?” Severus Snape-Black: 🤨 “My only problem, Potter, lies in my continued willingness to entertain your conversation.” James Potter: 😨🫤☹️ “T—That’s not it, my sweet Snivelly.” Severus Snape-Black: 😑 “Then do enlighten me, Potter.” James Potter: 😰🫣 “It’s that… y—you don’t moan… in bed, that is… that’s the problem… am I lacking somewhere?” 😨 Severus Snape-Black: 😐😓 🪄 “Somnium.” James Potter: 😴 Severus Snape-Black: 😐😒 🪄 “Obliviate.” 😐😑 Walks out-🚶🏻➡️ 💭 There. Problem solved.
Severus Snape-Black: 😓 Takes it out, reads it* James Potter: 📜 Snivelly, I saw a cloud today that looked like your nose. It brought me peace. Do you remember when we shared that disgusting motel room and you said “this never happened”? I wrote it in my diary the date and time it happed. So you’d never forget it. I still have the receipt. I know that you paid for it, but please allow me to book us a hotel, if not my bedroom welcomes you. J.F. Potter (Folds it back in envelopes, ties it back to James's Owl*) 😑🪄🔥 “Incendio.”
🦉📩🔥
Burning owl flies past the window 🪟 James Potter: 🦌 “HE TRIED TO KILL MY OWL—” 🥹😍😍😍

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Jameira Potter ♥️ Sevia Snape (-Drawn by Meringuine on Vgen)
I love this so much! 🥺😩🖤💚
James Potter: Wakes up* 🍑💨👂😐 “Snivelly…” Severus Snape-Black: stirs, yawns, sits up* 🥱 “What?” James Potter: 🫤😕🥺 “I’ve something to tell you…” Severus Snape-Black: 🤨 Turns back to look at him* “What?” James Potter: 😐 “You… er—passed wind, and I collected it in a jar 🫙. Cast a preservation charm on it, too—so I might hear and smell it again at my leisure,” Severus Snape-Black: ⁉️ “Release it into the atmosphere at once!” James Potter: 🫙 Presses jar protectively to his cheek* “No, it’s mine now. When I miss you, I simply uncap it and…” 🥹 Uncap it, sniff it in* 🫙💨👃🏼 Severus Snape-Black: 😐 “I am calling the Aurors.” James Potter: 🥹😍 “I am the Aurors.”
James Potter: 🥹 “Snivelly!” Severus Snape-Black: 😓🤨 “What?” James Potter: 🥹 “I’ve heard a rather dreadful rumour about you,” Severus Snape-Black: 🤨😒 “…” James Potter: 🗣️ “One about you liking boys…” Severus Snape-Black: 😓 “Blimey, Potter, are you thick? I married a man! Yes, I like boys—I like boys and girls alike!” James Potter: 🫤🙂↔️ “Well then… how about liking me instead?” Severus Snape-Black: 🤨😓 “You did not just come in here, insult my preferences, and then offer yourself as though you’re some sort of premium selection.” James Potter: 🙂↔️ “Recently divorced, well-seasoned, excellent in bed—will see to your satisfaction most handsomely. Fourteen-day trial, no receipt, no refunds,” Severus Snape-Black: 😐 “Oh dear… what became of your house-elf? I wasn’t aware I’d be expected to babysit.” James Potter: 🥹😍 “No need for a house-elf, my sweet Snivelly—I’ll be your baby, starting now,” 😚
Severus Snape-Black: 😐🫤😵💫😪💭 How did I end up doing this again? And with… bloody James Potter? 😖 James Potter: 😴 Naked. Drooling. Using Severus as a pillow. Severus Snape-Black: 😐😵💫 Attempts to remove his arms* “Potter, do get off,” James tightens his grip, rolling half on top of him* James Potter: 😴😪 “Mmm.” Severus Snape-Black: 😓 “Get off—you’re insufferably heavy, Potter!” James Potter: 🥱😐 “Yes, I’m very heavy, Snivelly, 🥹🥲 burdened, really—by greatness. In length, in girth, in sheer presence. My wand measures at eleven inches; my wizard d*ck—unyielding, rare, pure-blooded—quite legendary, I’m told,” 🙂↔️ Severus Snape-Black: 😓🙄 “Y—You absolute menace, that’s not a wizard’s measure—that’s a basilisk.” 🐍 James Potter: 🫠 “Shall I conduct a proper examination of your Chamber of Secrets, my sweet Snivelly? Purely academic, of course.” 🥹😍 Severus Snape-Black: 🤨 “I’m leaving.” 😐
The Marauders camping outing ⛺️ July 17, 1988 James Potter: 🥹🥹🥹 Sitting by the owl post, sniffing Severus's sock, breath hitching every time an owl flies by* “Any moment now…” Peter Pettigrew: 🥱 “Prongs, it’s been seven days. He’s not writing back.” James Potter: 😣 “He’s composing, Wormtail. There are feelings involved. He’s just… a bit shy, that’s all…” 🦉📩 An owl swoops down, delivering a letter* James Potter: 😨 “He’s replied. Oh, Merlin—he’s replied.” 🪄 “Lumos.” 💡 Severus Snape-Black: 📜 Potter, I suggest you present yourself to Madam Pomfrey for what is clearly a case of magical derangement—or else book yourself into St. Mungo’s psychiatric ward. And kindly return my sock. I am deducting five points from Gryffindor for possession of personal effects. ~Severus Snape-Black P.S. The motel memory was disgusting. James Potter: 😍🥰 “He remembers the motel. He remembers the memory.” Remus Lupin: 📖 “So—is it mutual?” James Potter: 😖 “It’s… one-sided, you see. He’s the one who likes me, but he’s having difficulty expressing it.” Sirius Black: 🫤 “He had no difficulty expressing his affection for Reg.” James Potter: 😨😕☹️💔 “Did I ask!?” Sirius Black: 😐 “No. But there’s a difference, Prongs—he was madly, deeply, truly in love with Reg. He would never have disrespected him the way he does… whatever it is you two have going on… at present…” Later that evening- James Potter: 😡😠😤✍️📜 Dearest Snivelly, I’ve returned the sock, along with one of mine, so you don’t miss me too much. Or do you miss your ex-husband so much that you cannot part from his surname? P.S. Whatever you’re doing now, you are cheating on me! Sealed, tied to the owl’s leg, sent* 🦉✉️ Remus Lupin: 😐 “Prongs, you all right, mate?” James Potter: 😤😠☺️ “I’m fine, Moony.” Owl Post: 🦉📩 James Potter: 😨 Collects the letter, opens it* Severus Snape-Black: 📜 Have you gone mad? What is wrong with you? —Severus Snape-Black James Potter: 😨😍🥹✍️📜 🎶🎵 Sirius Black: 😐 “He’s humming?” Remus Lupin: 🫤 “That’s probably what Snivellus’s heartbeat sounds like.” Sirius Black: 🫤 “I’m concerned.”

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Severus Snape-Black: 🧪🚰🪴 Inside his office, grading papers 🦉📩 🤨 Removes it from the owl’s leg, opens it* James Potter: 📜 Snivelly, Your heartbeat sings to me in the dark, and I can still feel your breath upon my skin. Also, you left your sock. I have been sniffing it to feel you close to me. I know it is difficult for you to face me again; you said it was a one-time thing, and that if it ever happened again, you would rather obliterate the memory. But, my sweet Snivelly, do not be ashamed. You needn’t hide from your feelings. Embrace them. Let us repeat what occurred that July evening on the 7th in the year 1988, too many Butterbeers, too much talking, and then… the motel. A cheap room. Do not be embarrassed. I did not mind the quality of the sheets. I wanted only your warmth. I shall await your response. Do prepare your confession when you are ready. J. F. Potter Severus Snape-Black: 😓😒 Waves wand 🪄💨 “Confringo.” ✉️🔥 💭 What the hell was that. 😐
Sirius Black: 🤨 “You what?” James Potter: 🥹😍☺️ “I had a one-night stand with Snivelly. He wanted me rather badly. Even after he left, I could still hear his heart beating.” Sirius Black: 🤨 “Er—Prongs, mate, I’ve spent the better part of a decade trying to bleach the mental image of my former brother-in-law from my brain, and now you’ve got him whispering ‘Expelliarmus’ in your sheets?” Remus Lupin: 😐 “Mate… that heartbeat? That was yours.” James Potter: 😨😱 “He wasn’t whispering Expelliarmus 🙃—though I rather wish he had; he can steal my wand anytime. And Moony! It wasn’t mine! You weren’t there, you didn’t hear it! 👂🏽🫀🥁 It was his! It didn’t merely beat… it sang.” 🥹☺️💗🏴 Peter Pettigrew: 🫤 “Prongs, allow me to remove the curse.” James Potter: 😨 “What curse?” Peter Pettigrew: 🫤 “This is Snivellus we’re talking about—he’s a potions master. It must’ve been a love potion!” Remus Lupin: 😐 “Or… Prongs is simply attracted to him, Wormtail.” Sirius Black: 😰 “I’d second that.” Peter Pettigrew: 😱 “Blasphemy! Traitors!” James Potter: 🥹😍☺️ “Snivelly must be missing me right now.” ☺️☺️☺️ Charms out a journal and a quill pen and begins writing an owl letter* Remus Lupin: 😐 “What—you hear his heart beating from the parchment as well?” 📜 Sirius Black: 🙄 “Apparently, he hears Expelliarmus too.” Peter Pettigrew: 🫤 James Potter: ☺️☺️☺️🦉✉️ Sends his owl letter* “Yes, Moony, I hear it even in my sleep.” 🥹😍☺️