there goes another vase. | p.js
synopsis: you and jay have a complicated relationship that’s about to get much more complicated.
wc:3.3k+
a/n: breaking my hiatus with another work based on songs I listen to. this is loosely written off "there goes another vase" by 4batz. also, if you relate to this piece of fiction in ANY way, let that man go! as always, happy reading! ( content under cut )
content: angst, toxic relationship between reader & jay, jay sucks but so does reader, excessive cursing, arguing, mentions of cheating, verbal threats, hitting, slut shaming, name calling, dub con, unprotected sex, make-up sex, oral (f receiving), creampie, jays a lil mean :( , an insane ending lmaooo, etc etc. NOT PROOFREAD.
jongseong: pick up the fucking phone. 9:13pm jongseong: I'll kill you if you fuck him. you're still mine. 9:21pm
"what about you?"
you don't know how to tell your date that you haven't been listening at all. not that he's even saying anything worth actually listening to. "not listening?" he laughs, to which you just smile awkwardly, sipping away at the drink in your hand. "one more please." you say to the bartender, turning back to your very boring date. you pray your drinks start to kick in soon, you don’t think you have many sober words left.
you ignore the second call that comes in, hitting the lock button on the side of your phone that rests on the countertop.
"another man, huh?" it's your third date with this guy and yet all he worries about is himself and what other men you might have in your phone.
he isn't applying nearly enough pressure to ask you such things. you don't answer, only sliding out of your chair, right after you down your drink. "This was fun, but-" he interrupts you there, hand wrapping around your wrist. "This is our third night out. You're still not gonna come home with me?"
of course you're not. he can't be that stupid to even think you'd lay down with him. "always cutting it short. is that what you usually do?" its almost like you're a magnet for shitty men. why can't you choose correctly just once?
"I've got work in the morning, sorry..." you hope that's enough of an answer, but he hasn't let go yet. "At least give me a kiss before you run off."
he reaches in his pocket, pulling out his card to pay for the tab. he passes it to the bartender, shifting his focus back to you. if that's what it takes to get out of here, fine. he stands to his feet, following you out the bar with an arm at your hip.
He follows you to your car, pressing you against the door of the drivers side. "You gonna come home with me the next time I take you out?" he presses his lips to yours briefly, pulling away to get a response from you. You nod, a soft "sure..." following. That terrible lie seems to be enough for him, pressing a hand against the top of the drivers side door, leaning down to give you a proper kiss.
he's always too aggressive. his teeth are clashing against yours, lips moving sloppily. "Mmm!" your hands grab onto his shoulders, holding yourself steady while his hand gropes at your ass, catching you completely off guard.
he's still kissing you, hand riding up your dress in the middle of the parking lot. "Wait!" you struggle, now beginning to try and push him off of you as he moves his kisses to your neck.
how stupid of you to not see this coming. give a man an inch, he'll take a mile.
"Not here!" your fingers dig into his shoulders, body tensing up when you feel his hand make contact with your flesh. again. "W-wait!" you repeat, looking at the number of people who eye the two of you weirdly as they leave the bar.
you somehow successfully manage to push him off in your drunken state, his body stumbling back in defeat. you pull your dress back down before immediately turning your back and reaching for the door handle.
a unexpected scream comes from an onlooker, then your date's body crashing against the ground beside you.
you don't register what's happening at first, but it quickly clicks.
Jay's above your date, fist repeatedly making violent contact with his face. "Jay!" you shout, reaching to pull him off the poor guy. "What is wrong with you?!" you're not even sure how he knew where you were- "Me?!"
he's got you by your arms, hands holding you tight enough to bruise. "What's wrong with you, huh?!" he looks furious. lips tucked, eyes wide with his brows furrowed. "I've been telling you to bring your ass home for weeks. Is this what you've been doing? Getting fucked at bars like some slut?" his hushed and accusatory tone startles you along with his words. "Huh?" he wants you to respond, wants you get loud with him right back. like you usually do.
"N-no..."
"Get in the fucking car." he pushes you away, walking towards his car he didn't bother to park correctly nor turn off. he'd hopped out his car immediately after seeing that dick touch you. doesn't matter how he knew where you were. what matters is he got to you just in time. if that asshole hadn't done something to you, you would've killed yourself trying to drive home.
...
you trip over jay as he pulls you out the car, "I feel sick, jay..." you moan, jay letting out a sound of distaste. "Wait until we get in the house- fuck! stand up!" he has to hold you upright, your legs jelly beneath you.
"drunk fuckin' slut!" he shoves you in the house, door slamming behind you both. you catch yourself on the wall, jay right behind you to make sure you don't completely tip over. "Can't even walk straight. Keep still!" his voice is louder now that he's got you inside. bending down to remove your shoes, he pulls you past the foyer once you're barefoot. Jay throws his keys on the table on the way in, dragging your limp body to the bedroom.
"Jay, I-" your words cut out, body slamming onto the bed once he gets you close. "I wasn't gonna have sex with him." you whine, jay pushing you right back down when you try to sit up. "I know. You know better than to do some stupid shit like that." he walks to your vanity a few feet away, pulling out a few makeup wipes.
he returns, knee dipping into the bed as he leans over you, wiping the wet wipes across your face. his face is relaxed now, features soft and handsome. much different than they looked earlier. you reach out instinctively, hands cupping his face.
"Why can't we be okay?"
its the liquor talking. you know why it can't work. or why it works for a few months until it all comes crashing down. it's been like this for awhile, endless arguments these past few months. little things setting the other off, turning into screaming matches at any time of day.
this time seems to be the worst. you've been staying at your friend's for two months while jay comes home to an empty house, empty bed. Jay doesn't respond, he knows it too, that you two should not be together. He's gotten the "let each other go" speech from his friends just like you.
but no one understands. only the two of you do.
You turn your back, looking up at the ceiling instead of Jay. he pulls you back, trying to turn you around to look at him before a sharp "Don't touch me!" comes from you as you shove his hands away.
"the fuck is wrong with you?!" he tosses the wipe to the side, straightening his back. "you should be glad I even laid a finger on you. who knows what you've been doing."
"Fuck you! You're always accusing me of shit you know I wouldn't do!" you shout, lifting your body off the mattress. "Didn't seem like it tonight. Almost had you bent over in the fucking parking lot." he knows it's not true, he saw clearly what happened. that's why he pounced on him like he did. he just needs something to throw in your face.
it's starting again, the fighting, the screaming and shouting. "You don't have any fucking shame? A guy buys you a few drinks and you give it right up like-"
"Shut up! Shut the fuck up! you know that isn't true!" you know the two of you shouldn't be fighting like this. but he knows exactly what buttons to push, he knows exactly what hurts the most. "No, you shut the fuck up! Watch your mouth, I told you about that shit!"
"I don't know why you think you can talk shit about what I do with my body! We both know you fuck anything that walks." jay's told you multiple times to stop throwing that in his face. the one time he ever fucked up. he's apologized for it multiple times since then. "Fucked you, huh?"
A smack echoes through the room, jay's head whipping to the side with the sheer force of it. "Fuck you! Get the fuck out!" that's how your arguments usually end. one of you putting your hands on the other out of pure frustration. he'll grab you and shout, shake you a few times till you're crying. if you're not already. your approach is always more hands on. slapping, hitting, punching, until he backs off.
"Fuckin' bitch." It's low, mumbled as he walks away and out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
...
you left just as soon as you sobered up. slipping past Jay as he slept on the couch. there was no reason to stay. you won't wake up and act like everything's all fine and dandy like you two usually do. not this time. not after all the recent days you've spent crying. last night included.
your shared area doesn't even feel the same anymore. the air is heavy, living room evidence of how thing got the last time you fought. the day you swore you'd never involve yourself with him again.
broken glass in the corner where you threw a vase at him in a fit of rage, eyes glazed over in anger. you had barely realized you were doing it until it was already thrown, Jay having to duck to avoid getting hurt.
…
"you need to block him." its something she's said to you plenty of times. but she really means it this time, "he called you a bitch. that isn't okay." her arms are crossed against her chest, seemingly angrier than you are. "Punched your date, too."
"he deserved it." you say, looking down at the red 'block contact' button. "again?!" your friend sighs, head rolling on her shoulders. "you're always excusing his behavior! That still doesn't make it right!" she grabs your phone, doing exactly what you've been trying to do the past thirty minutes. "Don't unblock him. Don't reverse all your hard work." she gives your phone back to you, reaching for her own to do the same.
you wouldn't say it's hard work. only because you haven't really gotten anywhere in your attempts to forget about him. he won't let you.
"I don't get why you're in love with him anyway." you don't really know either. you lean back onto the couch you've made a bed out of, the topic laying heavy on your mind. "he's such an asshole. he's never done anything good for you-"
"that isn't true."
"what has he done except absolutely break you down and destroy you? ever since you started dating him-" you don't mean to snap at her, but you won't let her speak as if he wasn't the best thing that ever happened to you at one point in your life. all good things come to end, though.
"That's not true!" it's loud, and immediately has you apologizing. "sorry, I just...don't want to hear about how bad he is right now." it's not helping, not in this state. especially not when you're fully aware.
"jay is a lot of things but he's always been there for me. no matter what."
"he wasn't there for you when he had sex with that girl, was he?" that hurts, and she knows it. she can tell by the way your face scrunches up, and your eyes water. "he didn't mean it. he didn't even have sex with her." it sounds as if you're convincing yourself, it's honestly sad.
"he didn't have to put his dick in her to have sex with her. you know that." it's no point in arguing, nothing she says can make you feel better nor will it convince you to actually leave him. "I've been with him forever I- I can't be without him. I can't be by myself."
"that's exactly what he wants you to think! you have a family, friends who love you! you have a support system. you will never be alone." she quickly assures, leaning in to wipe your tears with the sleeve of her sweater.
"you deserve so, so much better than jay. you have to know that."
...
you don't know how you ended up here. thankfully jay isn't home yet, giving you enough time to explore the unchanged house you used to call home.
it's supposed to be you grabbing some things, most of your things so you can get more comfortable at your friends house. instead youre on the couch, picture frame in hand. he took it your first night in the house. the two of you snuggled up in bed.
"Just smile, baby. it's our first night together." "i'm naked, jay!"
he took the photo anyways, pulling the covers back on your bodies before. it was sweet enough to have it on the coffee table, greeting guests as they'd enter the living room. it was always the center of attention whenever you had a new guest. some said it was inappropriate, some said it was sweet.
the sound of jay's car pulling into the driveway startles you, the familiar chirp urging you to move. to get out before he sees you.
you should've done this in the morning. you rush over to your things, grabbing your box on the floor as the front door opens, paralyzing you in place. your eyes dart around for anywhere to hide, but it's much too late. your car is in the driveway and your shoes are in the foyer, doesn't matter if he doesn't see you. he knows youre here already.
"What are you doing here?" it's been another long week without seeing each other. jay's more surprised because you have him blocked. he figured this was the last place you'd show up.
"Just...grabbing some stuff..." you put the frame behind your back, watching as he takes his jacket off and throws his keys on the counter. "I'll be quick." you reach down awkwardly, trying to drop it in your box of personal belongings without him noticing.
"what are you doing? why are you acting like that? get your shit and go." at least he's not yelling, but there's obviously some resentment in that statement. "I am." You scoff, eyes rolling as your turn around, you don't even get to put it in, jays reaching around you in record time.
"What is it? Give it to me." he yanks it from your hands, glancing down at the photo in the picture frame. "Why are you taking this?"
"you threw the other ones away..." you mumble, completely avoiding his eyes. "Yes. but why are you taking it?" he pries, so far you aren't explaining your reasoning to him. there's a long pause in the air, jay looking at you to see if you even plan on responding. "I said, why are you taking it?!"
"you don't hear me speaking to you?!"
"Because I miss you!" it makes your heart heavy, clench with all your emotions. your throat burns too as you swallow, trying to stop yourself from crying. "You miss me? If you missed me you'd come home, wouldn't you? you wouldn't be trying to take your shit while I'm not home, would you?!"
"why are you really taking it?" there must be another reason. you don't miss him, you wouldn't have him blocked if you did. "It's true!" you defend, face still turned away. "If you missed me you wouldn't have me blocked. you wouldn't have your friends block me. you'd let me get in contact with you- look at me!" he makes you, grabbing your jaw with a rough hand, turning your head around to him. you close your eyes tightly. you know if you look at him you'll burst into tears.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" it forces your eyes back open, blinking away multiple tears, though they still run down your cheeks. "Don't start that fucking crying. I mean it." he scoffs, pulling his hand off your jaw. he throws the picture on the couch just beside you before he puts multiple feet between you two.
"What am I supposed to do, then?!" you shout, stomping in place like you're some child. "We can't be together! You said it yourself!" of course he said it, you two were fighting like animals. people like that can't be together. "Don't put this on me! you've said it plenty of times too!"
"Why?! Why can't you try to make it work?!" you feel like youre fighting for your life, each thing you say, jay has a rebuttal. "I don't want to fight anymore! I hate it!" you're fully breaking down now, hiccupping, gasping for air. you probably look horrid. "Then get the fuck out."
you feel your body get hot, eyes clouded by your tears and rage. before you even know it you're grabbing the picture and chucking it right at his stupid head. "What the fuck are you doing?!"
that's just the tip of the iceberg. you're reaching for everything in your sight moments after. pillows, décor, the remote control, anything that fits in your hand. the vase on your coffee table is next. "Put it down!" he's lunging towards you after nearly missing the other objects, that vase is way too big to throw.
you do it anyway, throwing it directly at him though it misses by a long shot, making contact with the wall and shattering instead.
"Stop it!" he finally grabs you before you can throw anything else. you're fighting with him, hitting him with hard fists on the chest, slapping him across the face, trying to push him off you.
"Stop! Why are you trying to hurt me?!" he overpowers you then, grabbing both wrists despite you fighting back. "You hurt me first!" you huff, chest heaving in anger.
"Why don't you love me anymore?!"
it's another shrill scream from you. one that makes jay flinch. you finally relax, threatening to fall to the floor, but jay holds you upright. "What are you saying?" he's holding your sobbing body, voice soft and quiet. "You don't love me anymore!" this time he moves to the floor with you, holding your limp body in his arms.
he still isn't saying anything, looking at you with unreadable eyes and a blank expression. "cant we keep trying?" it's hushed, barely audible as jay lifts your upper body. "I do love you..."
"why are you saying I don't?" he's wiping away your tears, whispering to you, holding you like you'll break in his arms if he isn't careful. "you threw our pictures out." you respond, jay sighing. "I didn't. I just put them away." he confesses. he couldn't bring himself to get rid of them. that's why he kept one on the table.
"you won't try." you say, as if he actually hasn't been trying. "you know that's not true. I've been telling you to come home."
"but..." you breathe, trying to calm down before you speak. "but what?" it's a long silence before jay leans in.
jay didn't think you'd give in this easily, it shows just how willing you were to put everything aside to make up with him. you only speak up when he starts to undress you in the middle of the floor. "not here- jay-" you struggle between the kisses he's giving you, switching between your lips, neck, and newly exposed chest.
jay doesn't answer, nor make any attempts at moving you to the bedroom. instead, he pulls on your sweatpants and panties, pulling them down past your hips enough for him to slip a hand between your legs.
"jay, i said-" he answers this time only because you're pulling his hand away from your body. "I heard you, baby." there's a hint of frustration in his voice that you catch, opting to let his hand go.
he's right back at it, hand right back where it was. "Let me apologize first..." he mumbles against the skin of your neck, flingers slipping and sliding through your folds, teasingly brushing against the bundle of nerves there. it only makes you wetter in anticipation of what he means by that, letting out a moan of satisfaction when he finally presses against where you're most sensitive.
“can’t you just—“ your sentence trails off, blinking yourself out of the trance jays put you in by using his fingers. “just tell me you love me?” it isn’t that easy of course, jay responding with “you know I love you, baby.” instead of what you really want to hear.
“no, jay, I—“ he cuts you off with his lips, distracting you from the fact he’s pulling your sweats and panties off. “you gonna tell me who you’ve been keeping yourself pretty for?” it’s odd, you’re freshly waxed, nails manicured to a french tip, roots touched up on your hair- you’re too well kept.
you’re completely naked at this point, without even realizing. he’s got you in a daze. submissive to everything he does, everything he says. “it’s for you—“ your sentence is cut short when your back touches the cold tile flooring beneath you, goosebumps instantly covering your skin.
that’s all he’d hear anyway, head already buried deep between your legs. the feeling is exhilarating. it’s been forever since you were last intimate with him, and although it isn’t exactly what you imagined, you can’t help but to moan his name and tangle your fingers in his hair.
he fucks you with his tongue right to completion, skilled hands raised high to grope and pinch at your breasts as your back arches off the ground.
he kisses up your stomach and over to your neck as you come to, eyes blinking back open. you’re reaching out this time, hands fumbling with his belt, eager to get him inside you.
he doesn’t let you get too far, picking you up with strong arms and taking you to the bedroom. he lets you down softly, immediately moving to free himself of his button down and slacks before he gets back ontop of you.
it’s comfortable silence from you both, jay maneuvering himself out of his briefs as he kisses your exposed skin. the two of you move together seamlessly, like clockwork. it’s always natural when it comes to jay.
jay absolutely loves how you let him take the lead. he’s right at your entrance, heavy breaths of anticipation from the both of you. it feels like forever before he finally pushes past your entrance. “baby,” jay speaks first, in a whine. his hips move slowly to start. long, antagonizing thrusts that only frustrate you further. “I missed you so much.” he means it too, and you can tell by the way he says it. it’s shared silence in the seconds following, if you don’t count the little outbursts from you.
you’ve got your head all the way back, hands knotted in the sheets below you as jay moves his hip faster. he thought he’d never see you like this again. in so much pleasure all you can do is call out his name, look up at him with those big, brown, eyes and moan out angelic sounds of pleasure like you’re a broken record. he captures your lips, and you melt into his embrace immediately. hands wrapped around him so tight, you want to make sure this moment lasts forever. jay’s the first to pull away, head craned low to watch his own dick slide effortlessly inside of you, then right back out. youre watching too, both mesmerized at the sheer amount of intimacy you’re sharing.
“baby,” he moans out again, much like the first. “baby, fuuuck.” he’s trying his hardest to wait for you, to let you get off before he does, but damn is it hard. “baby, baby-“ he can’t stand it when you grip him like that, “I love you, I love you so much…shiiit.” jay is unbelievably close, watching you for signs that your almost close too. “I- I love you too.” you force out a response, hands coming to hold your own legs open as jay keeps up with his relentless thrusts.
“I love this pussy, too, baby, I love it. fuck- give it to me.” his grip on your waist tightens, jay using that as leverage to continue slamming his hips against yours. “just like that, baby. fuckin’ give it to me. give it to me.” you’re unbelievably close too, “im so close, please…” the next few seconds are more filthy words from jay, begging you to let him cum inside, begging you to cum too.
he doesn’t even get an answer before he does, hips stalling a halt abruptly when you finally finish and he gets to cum inside of you. heavy breaths fill the air, jay pulling out and resting ontop of your body. he leaves soft kisses against your face as you come to, whispering quiet ‘I love you”s and “don’t leave me, baby, please.”
he captures you lips in another soft kiss, arms wrapped around you so tight you think you’ll snap in half. you respond eagerly, kissing through more of his sweet talk. he tells you everything you want to hear and more. “i’ll treat you better, I promise.” , “i’m so sorry, baby”
“i’m not leaving, jay.” he finally relaxes after that, kissing you again before he raises up off of you and disappears onto the restroom. you quickly grab his phone from the pockets of his slacks and punch in his passcode. it opens right up to a period tracker. your period tracker. the message displayed makes your heart drop.
Day of Ovulation
high change of getting pregnant.
when you finally look up, jay is stepping out the bathroom with a wet cloth on hand. “jay…” you speak, almost laughing in disbelief. jay stays quiet.
“are you trying to get me pregnant?!”











