Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve

Just ate a whole chipotle burrito in bed. No plate. Stuffed so fucking full the burritista couldn’t get the tortilla around the bitch. Ate the whole thing down to the last bite. Didn’t spill a bean, not even a drop of sour cream hit my sheets. And girls wanna ask me about MY head game? 🙄

Ladies i know you see this theres no need to be shy

BYE

the problem with calling inanimate objects “girl” is that once you start you cannot stop. I said “girl” to the dishwasher because that bitch would not close no matter how hard I whacked her pussy. what is wrong with me

"I'm just a girl☺️🥰💖💞💅🌺🌷🦄" when you were eight and the teacher said she needed some strong boys to carry something you used to be furious, and when you convinced them to let you help, you carried twice as many chairs as the boys with the righteous anger of a girl who knew she was just as capable as them. Where did that go?

This is genuinely the funniest thing that could’ve happened considering how the actual scene plays out holy shit

If I start my sentence with "Girl" I mean it in a gay way like I'm about to bitch to you about my coworkers who I hate and who I am nothing but nice to. If I start my sentence with "Maaan" I mean it in a tired teen boy way. Like Shaggy learning that he's eaten the last of his vile sandwiches

Oh, okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your mythology and you select out, oh I don’t know, the rape of persephone, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you think maturation and sexual development are a kind of death and rebirth. But what you don’t know is that that narrative is not from claudian, it's not from ovid, it's not from callimachus, it’s actually from the oral tradition. You’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in the sixth century BC, Hesiod the rhapsode composed "Αὐτὰρ ὁ Δήμητρος πολυφόρβης ἐς λέχος ἦλθεν, ἣ τέκε Περσεφόνην λευκώλενον, ἣν Ἀιδωνεὺς ἥρπασε ἧς παρὰ μητρός· ἔδωκε δὲ μητίετα Ζεύς." And then I think it was a certain homeric hymnist, wasn’t it, who elaborated on it with an added narrative of Demeter's wrath? And then demeter's sorrow showed up in the choral odes of several different greek tragedies. Then it filtered down through the Alexandrians and then trickled on down into some tragic augustan vates where you, no doubt, fished it out of some georgic. However, that myth represents thousands of years and countless poets and so it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from poetry when, in fact, you’re rehashing the "subversions" that were selected for you by the people in that poetic tradition. From a pile of “mythology”.

"how am i gonna be an optimist about this?" was actually the craziest thing to have in the chorus of a pop song

No because, Art is a mediocre tennis player with 6 grand slams who knows that at some level he has only got them because Tashi has pushed him and coached him to that level of excellence. At the same time he feels responsible for living a career for both of them while knowing that if Patrick hadn't fucked things up he wouldn't have ever achieved what he did.Patrick has oodles of talent but has to deal with the fact that despite winning Tashi fairly he lost her due to his pride. You know he's thinking that 'if she was my coach I would have double the number of grand slams that Art does'. But if Tashi hadn't had that injury that day would either of them even have had the chance to have her as their coach? No. Both he and Art would have faded into mediocrity but probably remained friends despite it all. And don't get me started on Tashi. She knows that if it wasn't for her injury she would have probably won 15 grand slams by now and would never have considered stopping but she's reduced to just being the wife! Just being the coach! Just being content with being a hot girl who will be won by the guy who plays the best tennis!! And she has to somehow make herself feel okay with that. So no. She can't genuinely be okay with Art stopping but at the end of the day it's not her decision to make because he's the professional tennis player not her. It's not just about one of them winning or the sacrifice it takes. It's about disappointment, bitterness, the underlying inferiority complex, being manipulative enough to achieve your goals through different means and the inherent homoeroticism of having a best friend from the age of 12 who is the only one worth beating for you after playing 13 years of tennis. Anyway I'm chewing on glass rn. Challengers you'll always be famous